Welcome & Introducing Deborah Mallow: From Burnout to Resilience
Gloria: Namaste. What do you do when your life looks successful from the outside, but inside you’re feeling a bit stressed, exhausted, and dare I say, disconnected from joy? Well, today’s guest is going to share her expertise on burnout, resilience and how to reconnect with your inner sunshine so life feels lighter, your kinder and more joyful again. So if this is your first time, I do want to welcome you and if it’s not your first time, welcome you back to Design your Life your Way, where we explore how to live with more clarity, confidence and tension, especially if you’re a woman over 50. And joining me in just a moment is Deborah Mallow.
Gloria: She is author of the award winning book, six Steps to Fewer Days that Suck, which I love that title. After experiencing burnout as a top ranked biotech sales rep, Deborah created practical tools to help people build more resilience, self kindness and joy in everyday life. And I think without further ado, I am going to bring her right up onto the stage and welcome you officially, Deborah, to our show.
Deborah: Oh, Gloria, it’s so exciting. We really do need to design our life our way and we really can. So great title and I’m looking forward to a joy filled discussion to inspire your listeners.
Gloria: Oh, well, I, I know we’re gonna have one today for sure.
From Top Sales Rep to Burnout: The Subway Platform Wake-Up Call
Gloria: So I want to start, I guess at the beginning of, of your, I guess, revelation. You know, I, I understand that you were on a, you were on a platform, on a new or subway platform. You know what I mean? Okay. If you’re in New York City and you ride the subway, you know what I’m, I’m talking about? I’ve, I’ve only been to New York twice and only once spent time there. But anyway, I understand that this was where it all started. So what, what was happening in your life at the time and, and what did you realize? What, what happened on that platform that made you say something’s got to change?
Deborah: Yeah. And I’m sure so many people can relate to sort of being on a hamster wheel, sort of numb. And you just keep doing the same old thing until one day, hopefully the bells start to ring and you reconnect with sunshine. Because that’s really what it’s about. We should enjoy our lives. So I was a number one sales rep at an iconic brand and I was doing really well, checking boxes, achieving goals, all those things. But I was exhausted. I wasn’t eating well, I was rushing and doing. And one day on that New York City subway platform, I just had this pivotal moment that something inside me said, if I don’t change something, nothing will ever change.
Deborah: And that’s the truth. We can control our thoughts, our emotions, our actions, but it’s being aware and actually taking small steps. We can’t do this and overwhelm ourselves or nothing happens. But if we’re aware and we really want to change, we can do it. And we can talk about why.
Bringing Together Science and Spirituality to Understand Burnout
Deborah: Because I always like to bring in the science behind the why in how we can change.
Gloria: Yeah, it’s, it. I love, I love talking about science too. I’m, I’m, I’m a bit of a nerd. I’m a, I have, I have an interesting side. You know, I’ve got the science side of me and I’ve got the spiritual side of me. And so I’m always trying to, to bring them together. And, and I think it’s important to, I think it helps people who maybe aren’t as spiritually inclined to then, then they can have that science backed part of it and say, okay, this is why I need to do stuff. So we’re going to get, I think I want to get into the, you know, the nuts and bolts of that. But, but I really love you to maybe go a little bit deeper and really share with our audience, you know, what, what did your life look like? I mean, you said that you’re incredibly successful. But, but what was it? What, what, what were some of the examples maybe of, of things you were going through that, that maybe now with in hindsight, you can look back and go, yeah, I think this is why eventually I came to this point and said, yeah, something’s not working here.
What Chronic Stress and Exhaustion Actually Look Like
Deborah: Absolutely. And I’m sure people can relate because when we’re not in balance and we’re not taking care of ourselves, our emotions are out of whack. And that’s one of the big things. I was getting angry just because I, I was exhausted. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I, I didn’t take that pause that I now do.
Deborah: I just reacted. I didn’t respond, I didn’t pause thinking, think about it and get back to a little bit more positive energy as opposed to just being negative and just saying whatever I thought because that doesn’t make you feel good. And then I found I have to apologize later. So rather than doing that, that was one of the reasons I really knew I had to change. The other thing was I just wasn’t happy.
Deborah: I was going through the motions every day. I was getting my work done. We can all keep going and going and on that hamster wheel if we want to. But there had to be a way to have personal success, work success, be in balance, enjoy your life and be in the present moment rather than in my head so that I could be there for the people that I really cared about. I think think that was what was bothering me most.
Deborah: I wasn’t emotionally available for the people that I really cared about because I was just running, running, running. And I really want to share that because unless we stop ourselves, we reflect and we’re aware we can’t start the process of change. And that’s what I really wanted to do. And I started reading about, like I mentioned, the science behind what I did and how I can make these changes to feel better. And it takes time.
Deborah: There’s no magic wand. Life is messy. Nothing will ever be perfect. But as I mentioned before, we can control our thoughts, our emotions, and our actions. We can’t control other people, but we can if we want to. The choice, the decision rests with us.
“You’re Gonna Die if You Keep Up This Pace”: The Wake-Up Call From Loved Ones
Gloria: You know, I’m glad that you mentioned the personal side of that, because that was one thing that, as you were when you first started talking, I started thinking about and wondering if the people in your life, other than your work colleagues were probably, except for the occasional outbursts that maybe that you were having, were for the most part, happy because you were, you know, meeting your quotas and all of that good stuff. But what about, you know, maybe your friends and family? Were they noticing and. And did they say anything to you? Curious?
Deborah: Absolutely. My husband said to me, you’re gonna die if you keep up this pace. And it was really. That was one of the things that actually jarred me back into reality because I don’t want to die. That was definitely not my focus. But living in. In the state that I was in wasn’t fun either. So I had to do something. And I’m the type of problem solver that takes things into my own hands and just figures out how to get there.
Deborah: Is it easy? No. But I keep saying it can be done because you can’t discredit the strategy until you try it. That’s one of the things I say to myself all the time when I read something and I say, well, could I do that? Yeah, I can. But I need to actually pay attention and work on it, work towards it. It’s like manifesting. You can say, I wish, I wish, I wish all day long, but you need to put the attention to it, the work, the focus. It’s all about putting effort into whatever we want. And I always believe, okay, if something doesn’t happen one way, then maybe it wasn’t meant to be, it’ll happen another way.
Deborah: Maybe that way will be better. And I found that all through my life, once I focus on something, I can make it happen. And it’s not just me, it’s other people too. It’s where you put your intention and your focus. And that’s just a really big thing that I’ve learned. And I practice it every day because it’s not easy. Easy. I don’t want to say, oh, yeah, we can all do it. We have to focus on it.
Gloria: Sure, yeah, you’re right, because it’s definitely not easy. And I’d say even some days are easier than others. You know, sometimes, some days you can just, you know, wake up in the morning and just. And, and I do believe in. You’re right about setting that intention and, and say, you know, because when you can create the idea in your mind, you know, create the. What you want to have happen and at least set that intention, at least it gives you some focus.
Gloria: Because, yeah, what you focus on grows. So if you want to focus on something good happening, then you’re going to be much more likely to experience it. And then even when something that curveball inevitably happens, because they do, but then maybe you can catch it and throw it back instead. So I know that your, your book is built around six steps. And we’re not going to give everything away, folks.
Inside the Book: The First Steps to Fewer Days That Suck
Gloria: You got to get the book in order to read it, in order to know all six steps, but maybe share, you know, one, one or two that are really maybe somewhere that we could start, you know, someone listening to this today says, okay, yeah, I want to start. I want to start having that. Have one day this week that’s not going to suck. What can I do? What would be their first thing?
Deborah: Well, one of the first things we can all do is be kind to ourselves, not keep saying these negative things, these hurtful things to ourselves. We are worthy. We are enough. You hear this all the time, but it’s one thing to hear it, it’s another thing to believe it. And yes, this doesn’t happen overnight, but building confidence, building resilience, accomplishing these little things over time, small wins.
Deborah: It boosts those happy hormones like dopamine, and it pushes us forward, it gives us more confidence, it gives us the resilience to bounce back. So I start with the decision, because change begins the moment we choose it. And as you know, Gloria, my book is not a chapter book. It’s double pages of all the things we struggle with. And so I break it down into the decision into ditch unhealthy habits.
Deborah: Because with ditch unhealthy habits, until we clear the physical, mental and emotional clutter, we can stay stuck in our minds. And I always say, as you know, sunshine can’t get in if the windows are dirty. So these are just some of the things that I uncovered. And like I said, it’s double pages. I give a quote, the title of the page, like walk away from negativity.
Deborah: A quote, make a commitment. Then I ask questions and prompts, give strategies and solutions, little things, the science behind it, but really simple. Because I’m a simple person and I was. I did this originally, this book for myself. It was my guidebook.
Deborah: And when people saw my change, they urged me to put it out into the world. And one thing, the science, I want to share because this relates the first two steps. It relates to all the steps. But our brains crave and work well with patterns. So when we create, we can create positive or negative patterns.
Small Wins, Big Neuroscience: How Micro-Habits Rewire the Brain
Deborah: Habits. When we create these more positive patterns, that’s what sticks. That’s why I say, don’t try to do everything all at once, because we overwhelm ourselves. Nothing’s accomplished. That’s why many times New Year’s resolutions don’t work.
Deborah: You can’t do it all in a day. So these small micro steps are what pushes us forward and as I mentioned, builds confidence, resilience, and it motivates us forward. Doing things that boost our endorphins, whether it’s the dopamine or the serotonin, it, it just really helps. It helps trigger the reward center in the brain. It makes us feel better.
Deborah: So the more we do this, the better we feel. And over time, it becomes more of a daily practice. You’re not struggling as much, life is easier. But again, stuff will happen. It’s how we manage what we do and how we manage the stress, the anxiety.
Managing Emotions, Sleep, and Self-Kindness in Midlife
Deborah: We’re not going to get rid of it, but we’re going to manage it better and we’re going to regulate our emotions better. That’s where I was stuck. My emotions, they were all over the place. And that’s why it. It’s hard some people to sleep, I get it.
Deborah: But sleeping and eating well, they’re better foods for us to feel better. There are happy foods too that actually do boost endorphins. Their studies have been done. So it’s really being conscious of the little we do and adding self kindness. It’s not selfish.
Deborah: Put the oxygen mask on yourself first. We can all relate to that, definitely.
Gloria: Absolutely. And, and I’m glad that you brought up, like, the neuroplasticity and knowing that we can make the change. Because I think the thing that. Or at least what I. What I’ve read is that, you know, a lot of the thoughts. Number one, I think that most of the thoughts that we think are the same ones that we think all the time. But we are also sort of wired with this negativity bias.
Walking Away from Negativity and the People Who Drain You
Gloria: So, so if, if someone out there is listening to this and maybe they’re like, well, that’s definitely not me, but maybe others in their circle think it is. What advice would you have for someone who, who just is like, you know, they see, they see the glasses half empty rather than half full. And how, how can you persuade them perhaps to, to, you know, be open, more open minded about the possibilities that they could actually make a change and have their, have a day that doesn’t suck instead of looking for it to suck, you know, and, and I, I totally relate because I was there.
Deborah: That’s why I’m so empathetic. And I understand. I just want to help people get unstuck because yes, it’s, that’s why one of, one of my double pages is walk away from negativity. Because as I said, we could be positive or negative, both are easy to spread, whichever you want to embrace. But what I say is who wouldn’t want to enjoy their lives more? I say fewer days that suck. I don’t say every day because I’m a realist also. But why wouldn’t you want to feel better more often?
Deborah: And if you really look inside and say, okay, I’m gonna give it a try, I’m gonna try little things I can do. And that’s what my book is. It’s not massive overhauls. It’s little things we can do to feel better personally. Because once we feel better inside, we’re better for the people around us.
Deborah: We’re better in our work. Life becomes simpler when we learn to balance. So yes, I can’t say, oh, you have to do this. This, this is going to be the greatest thing you could do for yourself. Yes, it is going to be the best thing you could do for yourself to feel better.
Deborah: But I say the question is, why wouldn’t you want to feel better? And you can do it. Because again, neuroplasticity. Let’s go into the science. We can rewire the neural pathways. It’s been proven. It’s not Deborah saying this or Gloria saying this. Look at the science. So why wouldn’t you want to be happier? Well, just try doing little things to make you happy, feel better.
Simple Daily Practices to Feel Better Right Now
Deborah: Simple. A few examples. Put something on your calendar a week away or a few months away, like a vacation. Maybe you never take it, but something to look forward to. Meeting a friend after work or after a busy day, taking a. A walk. That, too, helps release those endorphins and make you feel. Feel better. It’s been proven. It can reduce stress and pain.
Deborah: All these things I say. And that’s why I wanted to understand for myself the science behind how I can do this. Because we really can read stories. That’s what I did. I have little ones in my book. Stories about people that actually accomplish the things that you’re struggling with.
Gloria: Right.
Deborah: But instead fired. Look at the positive rather than the negative. Small steps. And before you know it, I. I promise, you start to feel a little better. Perfect. There’s no such thing as perfect. I. I attest to that. But I ask again, why do you want to feel not the best you can possibly be and be there for those people that you care about?
Deborah: Find the joy in the moments. It’s not this joy. We talk about happiness and joy. Not this euphoric thing. It’s little things that make you smile in the moment, that make you feel good, that you put in your memory bank so you can look at them again, remember them.
Deborah: It’s like on the iPhone. Those pictures that come up, your happy memories. I love them. Just looking at that makes you smile. Takes the focus off the negative. That’s what we want to do. We want to focus more on the positive. Perfect. No. But doable. Yes, absolutely.
Rewiring the Negativity Bias with Neuroplasticity
Gloria: And. And I’m glad that you brought up, like, the neuroplasticity and knowing that we can make the change. Because I think the thing that. Or at least what I. What I’ve read is that, you know, a lot of the thoughts. Number one, I think that most of the thoughts that we think are the same ones that we think all the time. But we are also sort of wired with this negativity bias. Yes. So we do have to think more consciously and be intentional about switching that, because it can be switched.
Deborah: It absolutely can be changed. So it just takes having a strong why. And if it’s not for yourself, maybe it is for the people around you. Maybe, you know, you’re getting tired of hearing your husband or your significant other or your kids, you know, complain, you know, why are you always grumpy? You know, so do it for them.
Deborah: If not for yourself, but there it, it can be done. And I think, I think that’s so important to know that you, you, we all have the power to change. And it just takes that deciding. And I think that’s, I think I had heard on a, it was once on a audiobook I was listening to. And I think that they talked about that the word like decide, like the, the etymology of it comes from like to cut off.
Gloria: So when you make a decision, it’s like, okay, you, you’ve, you’ve cut off whatever it was you were thinking about. It’s like, now I’m going forward and doing this. So decide to bring a little sunshine, to bring a ray of sunshine into your life like you, you have there. You know, for those of you who are listening, you can’t see that Deborah has. Next to her name. We’re recording this on the video, it says a ray of sunshine. And she, she definitely is.
Gloria: I want to go back to you a little bit and, and talk about your experience. So what, what changed for you when you, when you decided to, you know, start taking action and, and change your life a little bit? What did you find changed first? Was it your, your thoughts, your, Your habits or your energy? What, what happened there?
From Emotions to Energy: What Changed First for Deborah
Deborah: Slowly, over time, it all sort of came together. The thoughts stopped being negative. I stopped worrying. I think I told you. I, I read a Penn State study that the study participants, what they found is that 91% of what they worried about never happened. And I said, you know what? I’m not worrying because it’s not serving me. I do what serves you.
Deborah: And then my energy got better because one, I started to sleep better, I ate better, I took care of myself. I mean, why shouldn’t we take care of ourselves? So many times we think it’s selfish or we’re just doing for other people, but we can’t be our best for other people if we’re not at our best for ourselves. And just everything just became a little bit easier.
Deborah: And what I want to hit upon also is that what you said, negativity bias. Because once I read about that as well. Because I think this is really important, dating back to early humans. So we’re sort of, we’re predisposed to this. We focus more on the negative information or events that happened than we do on the positive.
Deborah: We feel the sting of the negative more than the positive. So that gets us caught in our minds. We circular think and we get, we worry about things that are never going to happen and we just get stuck, even more stuck that we can’t make the change. But once we reverse that and we realize we can make a change, we can become more positive. We talked about the neurological, the neuroplasticity that life just becomes easier for us. And I’m all about whatever we do.
Deborah: That’s why my book is so simple. I want easy. I don’t want complicated. I want quick things I can do to make changes. And I think everybody wants that as well. Sometimes you just need to hear it. You need that kick in the butt to do it. However. And we’re here to say, you know, you can do it. Think about Henry Ford’s quote. It is my. One of my favorites. I mentioned it in my book, too.
Deborah: Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. So keep thinking you can’t. And that’s what happens. Think you can. Well, that’s what you’re going to focus on, and that’s what’s going to happen. You open yourself up to a whole new world. Believe me or not, you don’t have to. But if you just give it a try. Because this isn’t for me. I did my work.
Deborah: I want to help everybody be able to achieve this. Because being negative, being stuck, letting your emotions take over is no fun. It just doesn’t serve us. And I keep saying that. Give yourselves grace. Be kind to yourself. Do things that serve you. Get rid of the toxic. Yeah, we can’t get rid of all those people in our lives. Maybe family or work colleagues or whatever.
Deborah: But we could limit it. We could limit how much it affects us, because that’s really what it’s about. As Gloria said, it’s so true. We control our thoughts and how we want to think and why. Let it be negative. Think about what’s going to serve you. Say, is this working for me? Well, if it isn’t time to let it go. And we can. Absolutely.
It’s Never Too Late: Reinventing Yourself in Midlife and Beyond
Gloria: And, and, and what? The other point I want to make, too, is that. I know, because again, sometimes we think that, well, as we get older, we might get.
Gloria: Okay, we’re. We’re back. We had a little audio challenge, but we. We are back in business again. So I. One thing I wanted to ask you. A couple things I want to ask you. Deborah. I don’t know why I almost said Barbara. That was weird.
Deborah: Oh, my gosh. Everybody calls me Barbara. You know what? Not that I look like her, but people think. They think of Barbara Streisand. I don’t think I look like her at all. But people were laughing once, and they, they, they go. They were pulled up a picture of Barbara Streisand, and they. So everybody always calls me Barbara. So there you go, you know, worse people to be compared to or called. I think I. It’s a. It’s a compliment. So, so take it.
Gloria: Yeah, but I. So one of the things that I wanted to ask you about is that for. [pause] So one of the things is that I know as we get. As we get older, you know, sometimes we think that we’re set in our ways and that we can’t change. But I will tell you, all you wonderful, amazing women out there, and maybe there’s a few men listening as well, that, that it’s never too late to make a change. It’s never too late to start taking care of yourself.
Gloria: I, I made a change in my marriage a couple of years ago, and because I finally got to the point where I just. I couldn’t live that. That way anymore. And, and we get along better now that we’re not living under the same roof. And, and, and what was so funny is that people thought I was so brave for doing that. And I was like, well, I was taking care of myself. And, And I guess, you know, maybe it seemed brave, but at the. At the same time, I knew I couldn’t just keep going the way you’re going because life is short, and we never know when our time is going to be up.
Gloria: And members of my family, except for my grandmother, who lived to be 95, they all. They all died too soon. And so I. I intend to emulate more of my grandmother and live and live to my 90s, or maybe even hit 100 would be nice as well. So what do you think about that? You know, do you think that. Are there any maybe specific challenges, let’s say, even for women in this, you know, once they get past midlife and, And. And maybe even, you know, beyond midlife now, you know, we’re maybe in a starting, like a third act, possibly. Is there any challenge that you’ve seen, maybe, that women can, I guess, to give them some hope and advice on being able to, you know, say, yeah, you know, you can still. You can still change.
Deborah: Absolutely. I think the biggest barrier is ourselves. The stories we tell to ourselves that we can’t. That we’re not enough and that’s why I talked about earlier confidence and building resilience. And the more we do and we accomplish little tasks, little things in our lives, it gives us the confidence, the motivation to move forward.
Deborah: It gives us that dopamine rush. It makes us feel better. I think this part of life is actually could be a lot easier because one, you finished raising your family, you hopefully everybody’s doing well and, and you’re feeling good and now you maybe have a little more time for yourself. Whether you’re working still or decide to like me, change my whole way and start something else. We, it can be actually a wonderful time for us because I always think, and I mentioned in my book, look at Grandma Moses, 77 years old.
Deborah: I think she was when she always loved art. She picked up a paintbrush for the first time and now she has a museum. I’m not saying that’s going to be us, but what I’m saying is we can, can do it. If we so choose to reinvent ourselves or do things our purpose, our passion, why not? So as much as I think the it might be difficult, I think it also on the other hand might be easier because we don’t have the focus of raising children and all the other things that come into play and make it more difficult to actually give ourselves space to do these things for ourselves.
Deborah: So I actually am welcoming this time of my life to be able to do that and I encourage everybody. The things that you wanted to do, like Grandma Moses do it, you might, it might lead to something glorious for yourself. So that’s how I feel. I feel we tell us, we tell ourselves these stories and that limits us. We self sabotage. You hear it all the time. Well, it’s really true. We’re, it’s again positive or negative how you want to see things. So let’s take this time for ourselves and be positive that we can do something to make ourselves feel good.
Gloria: Perfect. Absolutely. Yeah. Because we can. You can always try something and then if you don’t like it, then you don’t do it anymore and then you go find something else to do. But it’s. Yeah, you’re right. I, you know, I love that example of Grandma Moses. I mean there’s so many. If you go on to Google folks and just search for like successful, you know, women or you know, after age 50 or after age 60 even, and you’re going to find a ton of examples of people who are doing amazing things.
Gloria: And I think it is because we, as you said that you know, sometimes now you don’t have some of the responsibilities that you had. And I also think one of, one of the blessings I found is, and I tell this to younger people, is that I found that every decade, like from the 40s now through the 50s and now I’m into my 60s, every decade has gotten better, especially because I don’t care as much about what people think. Have you found that? Because you know, as you do when you’re younger and you really care, like, oh, you know, you want to fit in, but I think there’s some freedom there. How about you?
Letting Go of Judgment and Valuing Your Uniqueness
Deborah: Oh, 100%. It’s all about no judgment, stop judging other people, it doesn’t serve you. And, and stop judging yourself. And if you think people are judging you or thinking about you non stop, they’re too busy with their own lives, their own problems, and they’re into them, don’t worry about it. Because anyhow, whatever people might think, it’s more important what you think about yourself and having. I keep going back to confidence, the confidence to know you’re just fine the way you are.
Deborah: Yes. We could always tweak things. Well, that’s the beauty of tomorrow, is making little changes to improve and that’s growth. You keep hearing about this growing, not in the comfort zone. Well, it’s really true because that comfort zone isn’t so comfortable. It’s not comfortable at all. It’s being stuck in the same place and we can do these things and make these changes. Why not?
Gloria: Absolutely. And, and you know, this, this is, this is so good because it’s right in my wheelhouse of the things that I teach when I’m working with women because I teach something called the L.O.V.E. Method. So, so the L is about letting go, you know, so letting go of these, these limiting beliefs that you’re not worthy and that you’re not enough and that you can’t make changes because you can. And, and the V is valuing your uniqueness, you know, value who you are and the amazing qualities that you have.
Gloria: And, and, and maybe think about when you are trying to think about, okay, what brings me joy, maybe start going back to what brought you joy as a child because maybe there’s a version of that that you can do now as a grown up. So, yeah, I just want to, just wanted to throw that out there for, for folks who are thinking about that.
Gloria: It’s, it’s, you’ve shared so many wonderful things here and I think it’s so great if you wanted to leave just like one key point with our audience one, one nugget of wisdom that they could take home with them today. What. What would that be?
The Accomplishment Box and Morning Routine That Change Everything
Deborah: I like to do this. I don’t know if anyone’s seen it, but you can imagine it. I like to have an accomplishment box. You could just take a cardboard box if you want. You don’t have to decorate it or whatever.
Deborah: And I like to write down the things that I’ve accomplished. Little things. I’m not talking about big things because again with the negativity bias. We see the. We. We see the things that we don’t do as well. We think about that. Well, think about all the things that you do well. Write them down, put them in a box.
Deborah: And then when you’re feeling, or even when you feel good, whatever it is, feeling good, feeling bad, read a few, keep adding them, because at the end of the year, I promise you, you’re going to see that box pretty filled up. And that too will motivate you forward. And then after you read them, after you’ve written one, give yourself a hug, because it’s been proven even 20 seconds of this hug reduces stress and it boosts oxytocin, one of those feel good hormones.
Deborah: So if I could say that, that’s one thing that I would like to share and having a positive morning routine to help, because I think this is really important. If we have a minute to talk about this, the cortisol awakening response in the morning, nothing to do with us, it’s just naturally occurring. We have 30 to 45 minutes after awakening.
Deborah: We have this cortisol spike. It’s meant to keep us and to make us alert so we’re awake for the day. But if we’re on edge, if we’re feeling stressed, if we’re feeling sort of at odds with ourselves, it. It becomes. It feels more heightened. And with that, it makes you feel more stressed, more anxious. So what I like to do is have a morning routine which you could switch up to saying something positive to yourself.
Deborah: Positive words, affirmations, but acting on them, bringing them with you, like today, I bring the positive energy and bring that with you the rest of the day. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Smiling boosts endorphins. Even a make a fake smile does that as well. Doing little things, eating a healthy breakfast, these little things to help ourselves regulate our emotions and feel better.
Deborah: And those are the things I want to leave you with because we really can make changes to make ourselves feel better. And that’s what I wanted to share and why I was so excited to be on your podcast, Gloria, because we can design our life our way. And I thank you so much for this time.
Closing Reflections: Gratitude Journaling and Finding Your Own Sunshine
Gloria: Oh, well, I appreciate you. And I’m just going to piggyback on a couple of those things that you said, because the gratitude stuff is absolutely. I’m. I’m glad you mentioned that, because I did actually. I think it was last year, I actually had a jar instead of a box, and I. And I was keeping writing down things, you know, every day, you know, something. Something good that had happened that day and putting it in there.
Gloria: And then I did look at it later. I unfortunately sloughed off on the habit after a while because, you know, you’ve. You. It. It happens. But the one thing I do am really good about doing is before I go to bed at night, I have a. I have a journal, and I’ll write down, like, at least three things that I’m grateful for that happened that day. Like, I found a penny in the street. You know, Yay, I found a penny.
Gloria: You know, I know they’re getting rid of them, but they’re. It’s still money. I’m sorry. It’s still money. And I had a coach who would say any. Any coin you found, you would just say, thank you. Thank you, thank you. One million bucks. Five million if it’s a nickel.
Gloria: So I think that’s so important because it does. Especially before you go to bed at night, and maybe you add it into your box. Then you go to bed feeling happier, and then you have a better chance of waking up in the morning not all stressed, but instead where you can follow your instructions about having that routine. Because I think, yeah, I agree with you. That’s so good.
Gloria: Oh, my gosh. Yeah, we. We. If you haven’t noticed, we have a lot in common, folks who are listening or watching this today, Deborah and I, and we’re. We’re. We’re on the same wavelength here. But I know that there are still some people who will resonate more with you than resonate with me, and that’s perfectly fine. And there’s also probably people who want to find out the rest of those steps and get your book. So where can people connect with you? Where’s the best way?
Connect with Deborah Mallow and Final Thoughts
Deborah: Oh, that’s awesome. I would love that. The Daily Decisions — Decisions with an S — dot com. And if you go to thedailydecisions.com/inspire, you can join my positive energy club. It’s free. Get monthly newsletters. Just how to sort of get rid of the grumpy little things. Science backed that we can do little things and little activities to feel better.
Deborah: And my book can be found on Amazon, Six Steps to Fewer Days that Suck. Because we all want to connect with our inner sunshine. I know we do. It’s just, how can we do it? And little changes make a big difference over time, so.
Gloria: Oh, thank you. And absolutely, absolutely does. And what is that? I think there’s a quote from Lao Tzu. I think it’s the. The journey begins with a single step, so you can. You can start right today. Listening to this podcast today, I know you have gotten tons of, tons of. Even more than the six steps.
Gloria: I, frankly, I think that you have to be able to start, at least start. So pick one of, one of the things that Deborah talked about today and, and start designing your life, your way. Yes. All right. Well, I do want to thank you, Deborah, officially, for being here.
Gloria: And I am going to thank all of you, my wonderful audience, for listening to me today and listening to our wonderful guest. And I want to encourage you, if you’re not already subscribed to, please do that. And, and I know those of you who are listening to the audio, you’re going to hear, you’re going to hear more about that. So until next time.
Gloria: Yeah. Just go out and make. Make today. Set the intention today that you are going to have a wonderful life and you’re going to have a wonderful day today. And. Yeah. So I think that’s going to do it. So we’ll see you next time.
