Introduction: What Does Independence Mean for Women in 2026?
Namaste. We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Well, if you are an American, you should probably be very familiar with these words because they are from the Declaration of Independence. And with America celebrating its 250th birthday on July 4th, which is tomorrow, as I’m recording this, I wanted to dive into what those words mean for women, especially in 2026.
The Equal Rights Amendment & the Women’s History We Weren’t Taught
I’ve lived long enough to be someone who has experienced. I grew up in a time of the women’s liberation in the 60s and 70s and the effort to get the Equal Rights Amendment passed. Because that Declaration of Independence does not say all people are created equal, it only says men, it doesn’t say women. And that’s what the Equal Rights Amendment was attempting to do, was to write that. And after.
I don’t know if you, if you’ve seen the Broadway play, in fact, I might include a link to this in the show notes because PBS actually shared they broadcast a the Suffs. It’s a musical about the American suffrage movement. And I learned a lot from watching that stuff that I didn’t learn in school.
And that’s a problem too, that women’s history is not taught more to children because growing up and in fact I even know that I even remember that my mom had bought me a bunch of different children’s books and I had one on John F. Kennedy, I think I had one on Martin Luther King, I’m not sure, but I probably had one on like the Founding Fathers. I don’t recall having a book about women. I think one of the first biographies I ever remember reading as a kid was Helen Keller’s. And I think that was because I saw the movie A Miracle Worker on TV and learned about Ann Sullivan and Helen Keller. So my point here is that women, and especially as women over 50, you probably remember some of these things now that you know the rights that women had to fight for.
You know, back in the early 70s, a woman in America couldn’t get a loan, I think, without being, without having it co signed. You couldn’t even open up your own bank account, I think, unless you had it co-signed with a man. I, I’m, I may be getting some of these details wrong, but I know there was a lot of restrictions and that it seems like in the year 2026, there are certain factions in this country that are trying to bring back some of those old ways of being. And I gotta tell you, it’s not pleasing to me because I, you know, I was fortunate. I grew up again.
I grew up at a time when it was important for women to start exercising our rights, to be able to say that we are worthy, we are just as important as men. And because we are all people, you know, in the eyes of God. And.
I lost my train of thought there. So let me, let me, let me, let me rethink where I was going with there. Yeah, it’s. Even though I know where I wanted to go with this is that even though it seems like in this, right now, in the 21st century, yes, we are in the 21st century, that we still have to fight for these rights. And we can claim these words in the declaration as our own just because they were written 300 years ago or 250 years ago.
Sorry, 250 years ago.
As a human being, we are endowed by the Creator to live our lives the way we want. We can design our life the way we want it to be and live it the way we want to be. And we can pursue happiness in a manner that is. That serves us. So I was thinking this morning before I started recording this that, you know, again I’m having, thinking back to, to the time when I was growing up and, and I know where I was going to go before.
Okay, I’ll come back to that. I’m going to put a pin in it and I will come back to it. I wanted to talk about my mom, but what I wanted to say is I remember when the song I Am Woman by Helen Reddy was popular on the radio and I, there was such an, such an anthem, you know, but you know, I am woman, hear me roar. You know, numbers too big to ignore.
My Mom: A Complicated Model of Strength
And what I wanted to say before was that I, I had a good role model in my mom. My mom was a very strong woman. She worked full time and, and I think a couple of the reasons why she did that was because we were a middle class family and we needed two incomes to be able to send my sister to college, for one thing, because I knew, I think she did get a scholarship, but I don’t think it paid a lot of the way for her to go to, to go to college. My mom paid for my dance lessons. In fact, I remember she actually quit smoking specifically to pay for my dance lessons, God bless her, which was something I enjoyed.
And you know, in order to provide for us and to have us have vacations and be able to travel and to have things like for me to join the Girl Scouts to have music lessons. I played, I learned how to play the organ because we had an organ in our house, a lovely Hammond organ, and that my siblings had played. And so I wanted to learn how to play it as well. So my mom paid for organ lessons for me and so organ lessons, dance lessons. We, you know, would she, she worked full time in order to help pay for that because, you know, my dad worked too.
But I think she also wasn’t sure sometimes because he, he was an alcoholic and then he started having health problems problems because he smoked as well. And so he started, you know, he’s, he was going into the hospital for different procedures from time to time. And so I think she probably decided that she needed to work outside the home to be able to have a backup, you know, in case there was an issue with my dad. So, you know, I grew up with that, that as a model for someone who stood up for herself. And I wish she had stood up more and decided to not stay married as long as she did, you know, but she did the best she could.
She. With the situation. She thought it would be better to, you know, stay married to my dad. And, you know, he wasn’t, he wasn’t, he didn’t drink all the time. When I was growing up.
It would, you know, if, if you’re familiar with anyone who has substance use issues, you know, there are times when they’re fine and then there are times where something happens and it kind of sets them off again. So, so thankfully, you know, this wasn’t 24/7 every single day of my entire life growing up. Thank you for that. There were, there were just different times. But my point is, is that.
Reclaiming Your Right to Be Seen: Boundaries & Invisibility
We can, like I said, we can, we can declare our independence. And, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re saying that we don’t need to, that we’re declaring our independence from, you know, a person. It could be more of declaring your independence from certain limiting beliefs. And, and I know we’ve talked about this on the show before, you know, there’s things like declaring your independence from being a people pleaser. That, that, that’s certainly one that I’ve had to, to do and say that I’m not going to do that anymore.
It’s about learning, you know, setting boundaries is a way for you to be more independent. By saying that I’m not going to, I’m, I’m not going to allow this person, let’s say, to walk all over me. I’m not going to just continually Say yes. When inside I want to say no, it’s okay to say no.
Do it graciously. You don’t want to be mean about it. But if it’s something that either you don’t want to do or you don’t have time to do, you don’t have to be a doormat and just say yes all the time. You can stand up for yourself and be an independent woman and say no. It’s okay to do that.
Women over 50 and definitely even women over 60 as well as we get. In fact, as we continue to live longer, this becomes more and more of a problem is that people start treating you as if you’re invisible. I, I have some good friends who are actually, I think they’re in their 70s who have experienced this and.
Don’t put up with that. If that’s happened to you, I don’t want you to put up with that. Because you are entitled to respect just as much as a younger person is. You are entitled to be served. You know, if you are out somewhere and you’re wanting to get help with something or you know you’re trying to purchase something, you, you deserve to be respected, you deserve to be seen.
And if someone isn’t paying attention to you, then it’s your right to get their attention. And if it means going above their head to a manager, then go above their heads to a manager. You don’t have to put up with being a second class citizen is what is what is coming to mind or to be to. You don’t have to put up with being ignored. You don’t have to be invisible.
That’s what independence is. It’s about claiming your power, standing in your power and saying, now I’m thinking of this old movie from the 70s. It was called Network where the anchor encouraged all the viewers to go out their windows and yell, I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore. You don’t have to go to that extreme necessarily, but you could certainly say that internally and say, yeah, I’m not going to take it anymore. I am going to claim my sovereignty and pursue happiness.
You know, claim life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as your unalienable right. Because it is. Even if you live elsewhere and you’re listening to this podcast and you live in a different country, I hope you still will take these words to heart.
Let’s see, what else could we declare independence from? Let me see what other limiting beliefs I think those are. Those are two. Two of the. Two of the big Ones I think that affect women over 50.
You Are Worthy: Releasing the Belief You Need to Settle
But again, I also want you to know that it’s about. Sorry, I got distracted. My cat is making noise.
Maybe it’s.
Yeah. Which I’ve sort of hinted at already, this, this belief that you’re not worthy, that you’re not worthy to. To have the life that you want to live. If you’re breathing, you’re worthy.
So know that. Again, claim that and really tell yourself that if you need to. If you need to have some support doing that, write some affirmations out and, you know, post it notes saying I am worthy and put them everywhere you see. Look yourself. And I know I’ve talked about this on the podcast too.
You know, do the mirror work that the late Louise Hay used to talk about. You know, look at yourself in the mirror and, and say, you know, say your name and say, I love you. You are worthy. You deserve to be happy. And if you’re in a situation right now that is not making you happy, whether that’s a relationship, whether that’s a job, whether it’s a business, whether whatever it is, then find a way to either get out of that or enroll somebody else to help you to make it better because you don’t have to settle.
Oh, that’s a big one. That’s what I want you to. That’s a one to also declare your independence from. Which sort of goes into. When I was talking about boundaries, but to stop settling.
Don’t settle for less.
Just because. Oh. I know why. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Getting emotional because I’m thinking about my mom and also me for a while too.
But I know that my mom got remarried after she divorced my dad and. And he was a, you know, lovely gentleman, and they were. They were happy for a while. But after a while, this marriage was not what my mom, I think, expected or signed up for. And she didn’t really, I think, learn, do enough personal work on herself to.
And then wound up in a marriage with somebody who, even though he wasn’t an alcoholic, I think it was still just not. Not the type of relationship she wanted to have. And so she would call me on the phone and complain, God bless her, complain, complain, complain about. About this person and.
But she didn’t leave him. She didn’t leave him. She would just complain about him and stay married to him and, you know, and stayed with him until the day she died.
She settled. She settled for less than. Because she was afraid. She was afraid that she couldn’t survive on her own, that she didn’t have enough Money, I think financially is really what the issue was because she was, you know, now in her 70s and she didn’t really want to work part time anymore. She did.
When she initially moved to Florida from Michigan after I had moved to Florida, she did work part time for a while and that was when she wound up meeting this gentleman. So I know she was in her 60s then, let’s see. Because this would have been ’86, so. Yeah, yeah, so she was, yeah, she was, she was in her early 60s, so wasn’t quite ready to retire yet. So she did work for a couple of years and then, but then when she got married, she didn’t work anymore.
And so she also had a lot of health issues too, which I, I think was also part of why she settled. She settled for a relationship because she was living in a nice house, living in a nice neighborhood. I think she figured she could just vent to me and, and you know, she had somebody that, you know, she, they were happy for a while and then, and then I think towards the end of her life was when she started getting more cranky about him and was complaining about him.
But I want you to know that if you’re in a relationship like that and if you are concerned about finances, then get counseling. You know, get counseling for the two of you because you shouldn’t have to just settle for being miserable because of financial worries, let’s say. And because I know it’s a big one. So that’s why you need to get help and enroll your partner in, in this so that you can be on the same page and you can find a way to work together. And then if you can’t, then, you know, if you’re still young enough and are in good shape and can go get another job to supplement your income, then, then you could do that or start a business.
But to, you know, be, be you can be independent and in a relationship at the same time. You can, Because the other person likely is. And now I, and I, now I’m a heterosexual, so I don’t know about homosexual relationships, how that works, so I can’t speak to that. But I, you know, I think for me, in, as a woman and then with men are. Seem to be much more comfortable generalizing here.
But let’s just say most men, or many men, again I don’t want to generalize, are comfortable in standing up for themselves and, and being able to ask for what they want and to not be apologetic about it. So we need to follow that a little bit more but not neglect our feminine side, so we do have to find a balance. Because I will say again, I think my mom wound up being too masculine in. In some of the way she. She was.
And then I took that as a model. And so I, you know, went on to be this strong, independent person, which is good, but also there’s a feminine side. To be able to be open to receive is important as much as being able to be strong and. And ask for what you want.
A Light Language Transmission for Release
We’re going to talk some more about the. The striving for independence and, and what. What you can do, who you can ask or. Or what you can.
How you can. What the importance of support is what I want to talk about in a minute, but I think before I do that, I want to share with you some light language because I feel that if you are someone who is in dealing with, still holding on to some of these limiting beliefs where you’re feeling like you’re not worthy and you’re engaging in activities like people pleasing or settling or, or you’re struggling with being invisible at this stage of life. I want to offer some sound healing. So that’s essentially what light language is. It’s a form of sound healing to help you release whatever is holding you back so that you can be a strong, independent woman over 50 and assert your independence and claim your rights.
So encourage you to, if it’s safe for you right now, that you might want to close your eyes and just allow what comes through this, what I’m going to share right now, to open. Open your heart to receive it. Don’t worry about needing to understand it, but just allow. Allow the sound, the vibration, to really touch your soul and, and set an intention that what you’re going to hear will help you to release whatever doesn’t serve you, and that the message ultimately is for your soul’s highest good and the highest good of all. And that’s the intention I’m setting as I do whenever I get ready to share a message.
[Light Language Transmission — audio only]
I hope you received that. There was a lot of love coming out at the end there. So I hope you felt that in your heart. And yeah, so let me talk a little bit more about this independence and how we can claim our own independence to be an independent woman over 50 in midlife. Because when the United States, before they were the United States, when they were the colonies, when they declared their independence, they were.
Asking for Support Isn’t Weakness
That was just the beginning because then we had to fight a war for that. Because Great Britain wasn’t just going to say, sure, you can be independent. No, no, no, no. They didn’t want to do that. So we had to ask for help.
Colonies needed help from countries like France and Spain and the Dutch Republic. So in our quest to be independent, it’s still noteworthy to think about who you can rely on for support, who you can ask for support, who you can enroll to help you. And I know I talked about this in a previous episode when I did talk about boundaries that I had. I had a coach who encouraged me to enroll my family into an experiment to. Well, this, this was about taking ownership of my life and being able to ask for things, because that was something else that I had trouble doing, you know, as being an independent woman.
Sometimes you can carry that too far where you’re not asking for help. You’re. You’re wanting to just be. Do everything on your own. And as a business owner, that’s a problem because you, you can only do things yourself for so long.
If you want to be able to grow, you have to get help. And so, so I, I did this where I was going to be like, queen for a day. And so I had to. I couldn’t do anything for myself, so I had to enroll my, my family, my husband and my daughter. Not sure where my son was at the time, but I do remember my, my daughter playing along with this and that.
You know, if I was sitting on the couch watching TV and I was thirsty, instead of just going up and getting a glass of water for myself, I would have to ask somebody to do it for me and say, hey, you know, would you mind go. Going to get me a glass of water, please?
It was good practice. It really was good practice asking. And so support is important.
Finding Community in Midlife
And I know, I hope that you have a community of women that you can rely on, because it’s wonderful to have friends. It’s wonderful to have a community of people.
And, And I know that sometimes, you know, as we get older and we start, maybe we move away from retirement or just friends pass away. I mean, I’ve. I know I’ve. I’ve. I’ve lost people that I was friends with in my twenties especially that, that, that have already passed and they’re like, too young.
You know, I’m only in my early 60s right now, and they passed when they were, you know, either in their early 60s or even younger possibly. And, and that’s so sad. So thankfully, I’ve. I’ve started to develop other friendships. And so I encourage you to, to cultivate friendships.
You know, I moved to a new community that and so I had to start finding ways that I could connect with people. Now, thankfully, I knew. I knew one woman because I’d met her through a business organization. And so we were, you know, casual friends. And so now I’ve gotten to know her even more because I’m living here and I’ve actually been to her house and spent time with her.
We’ve gone out to lunch a few times. Times. And. And now she. She’s a singer.
And she invited me to join a choir at the unity church that she’s been singing. She sings at. And so I went to my first choir rehearsal last night, and it was a lot of fun. And so I’m going to be singing on Sunday. And.
And it felt so good to be in a community of women. And. And that’s one of the reasons why I started my own community as well, because I, I had. I was. Did belong to a networking group and they.
They now meet only online and they don’t meet in person anymore. And so I wound up starting the Soulful Women’s Network because I wanted to be able to have people to meet with in person. And so we’ve been doing this for the last couple of years. And, and it’s. And it’s lovely.
I love being able to get together with them. And we always have a topic for that. That month to talk about. And, and it’s. And it’s for women like myself who are over 50, and, and we get to talk about some of the issues that are plaguing us and, and, and things that we.
The challenges that come up for women at this age. And we get to talk about it and brainstorm. Either I, I come with resources or maybe somebody else has some ideas. And we brainstorm and it’s. And it’s great.
So if, if you want to get invol some online meetings as well. So if you’re not in the Central Florida area, but if you are, look me up and, but you can join. We have a free Facebook group that you can join right now. And I’ll have the link for that in the. In the show notes.
So I hope you will encr. Consider doing that because. Or, or find your own group. It doesn’t have to be mine. I mean, I would love for you to join my group, of course, but.
But there’s other groups out there. You can find them on Facebook, you. Them on Meetup, you.
There’s. There’s resources. Google it. Okay. Because there are places you don’t have to be alone.
You can connect with other people if maybe you have a particular hobby and, and so maybe find people who also enjoy that hobby. But it’s so good to cultivate relationships and, and I know sometimes it’s hard to, to make new friends at this as we get older, but it’s not impossible. Put, if it’s, if it’s valuable to you, put forth the effort. And sometimes it might mean that you do have to put forth the effort.
But again, don’t get into people pleasing. Okay? You still need to stand your ground and still have bound.
Write Your Own Declaration of Independence
So I think ultimately what I want to bring this back to is that, you know, if you’re, if you’re like me, you’ve probably spent decades holding everything together. So the greatest declaration of independence for you and for me right now could be just laying that down and saying, no more. You know, you, you can stop caring what was never yours to carry and.
Embrace what makes you happy and find ways to achieve that. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a big grandiose thing. Maybe it’s simply. You like to garden. You know, I, in fact, I have, I have a friend who, who, and, and again, she’s, I think she’s over 70.
She went and got her master gardener’s license, something she, she became, she went back to, she took classes to become a master gardener because she likes gardening. So continue to continue to grow and yourself personally and professionally and treat this time as, as an opportunity for you to try something new or ex. Maybe become a master at whatever it is that you’re doing now. Maybe take it to the next level or just relax and have fun. Maybe that’s what independence is for you.
Maybe that’s your pursuit of happiness. It’s taking a break and just doing something for fun.
You are endowed by your creator with certain unalienable rights, Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Wherever you are in the world that you’re listening to this or watching this, forget about, you know, whatever country you belong to and whatever rights that you have, you have those human rights. You are a human being and you were created. And I believe, now this is my belief. I believe we were created to be an extension of God in the world and to enjoy life and to experience all of it.
Now, I didn’t even talk about, you know, the, some of the things that aren’t so good, but those are the things that go wrong or the trials that we go through. Those are opportunities for growth. Look for the lessons in those things that you don’t enjoy because we all have them. You know, you know, the one constant in life is that things change, and not always for the better.
You, though, always have the choice of how to react to it. You have the choice of whether to be depressed about it or angry about it, or to just say, okay, this happened. What can I do about it? How can I handle it for me? And then maybe, maybe you’re called to do something for other people, to be active, to be someone who stands up for the rights of others.
That’s really awesome, too. Not everybody will do that, but if that’s you, awesome. Because we need people like you in the world to stand up for others. So I encourage you today, if you have gotten value out of this podcast today, to maybe go out and write your own declaration of independence and think about what, what you are declaring independence from. Is it limiting beliefs?
Maybe it is someone in your life that you, you know, you love them, but you don’t want to be around them anymore. You know, if that is something that you can do, then, you know, make that choice. But know that you are. You are worthy to be a happy, healthy, amazing person. And yeah, so declare that today.
And then go out and live boldly and on purpose and I will see you next time.
