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Tough Love or Trauma Trigger? A New Approach to Addiction Recovery

Have you ever felt utterly helpless watching a loved one’s life unravel from substance abuse? The shame, guilt, and fear can leave you paralyzed, uncertain of how to approach the situation without making it worse. If you’ve grappled with these heavy emotions, you’re not alone.

In this raw, transformative interview, Dr. Andrea Arlington courageously shares her family’s brutal journey through her daughter’s heroin addiction. With unflinching honesty, she exposes how tough love can be a trauma trigger that hinders addiction recovery, and offers a new approach for family healing focused on compassion and understanding. 

Show Notes | Transcript

“Tough love is often a type of communication where the person speaking is coming from an authoritative tone of voice. This approach can trigger shame, which drives the same areas of the brain as trauma does. When a person feels traumatized, they will want to pursue their escape.” – Dr. Andrea Arlington

Dr. Andrea Arlington is an expert in family system healing and addiction recovery, applying lessons learned from her own daughter’s heroin addiction. Arlington’s tender vulnerability intertwined with clinical mastery sheds light on the often-misunderstood struggle with substance use disorder. You’ll emerge with a deeper grasp of addiction’s insidious grip, renewed hope for guiding your loved one towards healing, and perhaps most importantly – the self-compassion to forgive yourself along the way.

You’ll walk away from this compelling conversation with:

  • A profound understanding of why “tough love” dangerously backfires (and the compassionate alternatives that actually work)
  • Practical, word-for-word scripts to communicate from the heart when your loved one is under the influence
  • Eye-opening insights into generational patterns that can unknowingly perpetuate substance use disorders
  • Powerful emotion regulation techniques to stay centered and present as you support your loved one’s recovery
  • A game-changing book recommendation packed with actionable steps tailored for families impacted by addiction

If you or someone you care about is battling substance abuse, this conversation could be the lifeline you’ve been searching for.

Resources:

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) offers a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Related Podcast Episode: Dangers of High Potency Marijuana with Laura Stack (Pub. 1/17/22)

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Connect with Andrea Arlington:

Website: andreaarlington.com

Phone: (818) 532-8636

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Live. Love. Engage. Podcast: Inspiration | Spiritual Awakening | Happiness | Success | Life

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00 – 00:00:09] One hit off of even weed can be laced with fentanyl. It could be the end of our child’s life.

[00:00:11 – 00:00:44] I am Gloria Grace Rand, founder of the Love Method and author of the number one Amazon bestseller Live Love Engage. How to stop doubting yourself and start being yourself. In this podcast, we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to live fully, love deeply, and engage authentically so you can create a life and business with more impact, influence and income. Welcome to live love engage.

[00:00:45 – 00:01:54] Namaste. You may not realize this, but tough love is actually more harmful than, you know, than not having tough love. And that’s particularly when it is applied to children with substance abuse disorder. And today’s guest learned that lesson the hard way from her own experience with her daughter’s addiction. But before I bring her on to talk about that and what else to do instead of applying tough love, I want to welcome those of you who may be new to live love, engage. I am Gloria Grace, and I help female entrepreneurs attract more clients with calm, clarity and confidence by releasing negative thought patterns like self doubt and poor self worth. And joining us today is doctor Andrea Arlington, and she is an expert in family system healing and addiction recovery. And she empowers families with effective recovery techniques. So without further ado, I’m going to bring her on here and welcome you, Andrea, to live love, engage.

[00:01:55 – 00:01:57] Thank you, Gloria. It’s great to be here.

[00:01:57 – 00:03:02] I, you know, this subject is, I wouldn’t say near and dear to my heart, but it’s something that I, I’ve got family history of alcoholism, thankfully not hard drugs, although my brother also did indulge in pot as well. But I know that you’ve unfortunately had some experiences with your daughter with much harder substances. But I thought, you know, and I know we’ll kind of get into that, but I’d love for you to start off talking about this tough love perception that this is the way that we’re supposed to handle, you know, people who are, I know in particular people who are in alcohol with alcoholism, you know, because I’ve been in Al Anon programs and things like that where, you know, they say, you know, you need to just let them be. So why is tough love harmful when you’re dealing with children in your family who have substance use of disorder?

[00:03:02 – 00:05:40] Well, thank you. Tough love is often a type of communication where the person who is speaking is coming from an authoritative tone of voice. Some of the language they’re using is, you should. How could you? Why don’t you, don’t you know better? And it is delivered without a sense of power, with its power over. And when a person is spoken to like that, I don’t know about you, but I know from my own experience, being in, in a family of origin where I was spoken to like that, you know, the, it triggers a sense of shame. And shame and guilt are a little different. And what I mean by shame is shame is you are bad, whereas guilt is you’ve done something that has been harmful and we can change it sort of mentality. Like, I’ve done something that’s been harmful and I can change that. I feel guilty for my choice, but I’m not ashamed of who I am. And when shame is triggered in the brain, and it is triggered every time somebody is speaking over us with that authoritarian, you should type of attitude, shame drives the same areas of the brain as trauma does. When a person feels traumatized, they will want to pursue their escape. So that’s one really good reason to be aware of this tough love, sort of, I’m going to let go, let you hit bottom in this day and age. For one thing, we’re losing 312 people a day to overdose, and we can’t afford to use that kind of tough love where we way where we say, well, we’re just going to let them hit bottom and let go. Because one hit off of even weed can be laced with fentanyl. It could be the end of our child’s life, you know? And so there’s a big difference between what, what Al Anon used to be sort of focused on when it was originally sort of just not discovered. What’s the word? I’m looking for it.

[00:05:40 – 00:05:42] It’s first set up, maybe when it.

[00:05:42 – 00:06:51] Was first set up. Yeah, kind of, right. It was established in response to the men who drank in bars and, you know, their wives were get coming together and saying, we’re not going to put up with this anymore. We’re just going to let them hit bottom. This is unacceptable. I’m detaching. That was back in the early 1930s, and we can’t ignore the fact that life has changed. And what’s really sad, Gloria, is that the medical profession is not real well educated on other alternatives for helping our loved ones, not just our children, but our loved ones, to overcome substance use disorder. The first thing you’ll hear is attend Al Anon program. And I know there’s great things about Al Anon in terms of self care, but the approach to helping our loved ones is dangerous. Letting them go and letting them hit bottom is dangerous.

[00:06:51 – 00:07:03] So what should we be doing instead of that. So instead of tough love, how can we help those we love to be able to be able to eventually get off?

[00:07:06 – 00:14:51] Yeah, thank you for asking that. But honestly, what we want to do is we want to, first of all, understand that there’s a reason that they’re using substances, and it’s not what we would automatically go to, which is, oh, it’s, you know, pleasurable or they’re just rebellious and they don’t care about us. If they really loved me, these are my thoughts. When I was a mom of. I was also the wife of and the sister of my brother. I lost my brother to iv drug use and alcohol, and I lost, you know, and I had multiple relationships and a husband who was struggling with substance use disorder. And then I had my daughter and my foster daughter, who were IV heroin addicts. Okay. So now they’re both eleven and 13 years sober. And it wasn’t until my second daughter was getting. Was still using. My first daughter was already in recovery almost two years when my foster daughter was still out on the street, literally. And my daughter said to me, mom, you can’t. Because I thought, you know what? I know a friend who actually is a Navy SEAL. I’m going to hire these Navy seals to go in and extract her from downtown LA and put her in a treatment program. Well, we had already put her in treatment several times, and that was not effective. So I don’t know why I thought that would be effective. But my daughter and her husband, who were both in recovery, said, absolutely not, mom, that’s not going to work. And her husband, who owned a treatment center, said to me, look, the most effective way to help her get well is to go and meet with her next time she calls. Yeah, do it. We had to wait till she called because she didn’t have a phone. And the first thing you’re going to say is, and this is not easy to say when somebody’s using heroin. I’m so sorry for ever wanting to take away the one thing that actually might be the only thing that’s preventing you from wanting to kill yourself, you know, because that substance was compensating for her trauma in her childhood. And not everybody has trauma, Gloria, and you know that. But. And there’s different types of trauma. There’s low, there’s small t trauma, and there’s big trauma. Most of us experience small multi trauma in the form of emotional neglect, physical or sexual abuse, then that’s not small t trauma, but emotional neglect doesn’t. Nobody identifies that as big t trauma. But over time, it has a huge impact on our self worth and our feelings of being able to be successful in relationships to other people, our family of origin. And I’m talking generations back. Most of our families originally came to the United States from other countries, obviously. And when they first arrived here, they struggled financially. They often didn’t have family of their own here to house them. So there was a lot of original trauma that took place three generations back in most of our families that we don’t identify actually gets passed down to the next generation in the form of beliefs of scarcity, beliefs of, I have to control everybody around me in order for me to feel safe. I mean, all of that started three generations back, where people were developing habits, mental habits and emotional habits that impacted their offspring. And then those people grew up with emotional trauma or emotional neglect because it was very hard for people who had come over to our country and didn’t have educations, and, you know, they were just striving to survive, and then they had children. And so these. These unhealed experiences infect our offspring. And my father grew up during the depression, and his whole philosophy was just get educated and. And, you know, or find a rich man, one or the other, but, you know, but it was more about getting educated. And so. But my dad worked seven days a week as a professor, and he did research on his. On the weekends to rise up in the academic world. But he neglected his wife and his children. Three of us, and, you know, two of us really struggled with substance use disorder and mental health issues. And I left home when I was 14, and I. I struggled as a 14 year old girl on my own. And eventually, when I got to be 27 years old, I met a man who was, I thought, a good man, a good partner, and would be a good father. But it turned out he was struggling with substance use disorder. And I couldn’t identify that because that wasn’t something I understood, you know, with the consciousness of a 14 year old who lived in a 28 year old body. Right then. I had children with him. And his own mental health issues and addiction issues became clear over time. I went to Al Anon for five years and really tried to apply those things, but I think it really drove a wedge between me and my husband instead of being helpful, because I heard a lot of people in those rooms that were very angry and self righteous. And it wasn’t self righteousness that was driven from a place of real sincere, like, I want to be more. I want to be. I’m, like, the best. And you’re not. It was kind of like a compensatory, if that’s the right word, a sense of I have to protect myself with ferocious intent. And there was polarizing between relationships in those rooms. It was very clear. And then. So when my daughters were struggling because my former spouse left me for another woman and then became homeless, and so my daughters had a lot of trauma. I was emotionally neglectful because I didn’t know how to be safe with my own emotions. I felt lost and scared all of my life because nobody said, don’t leave home, stay home. We’ll work through this. I care about your sense of well being more than I need to prove to the world that I’m a successful professor and provider and all of those things. So he was trying to compensate for. For his family of origins, emotional unwellness. And then it transferred into my life and into my kids lives. So that was a long explanation.

[00:14:51 – 00:16:01] Yeah. And I appreciate you kind of explaining, going into detail about the generational effects, because it does play a part in who we are looking back at and then how we raise our children. And I do feel that, you know, most of the times we do want to do better. I think maybe that would then the way that we were raised, you know, but of course, you know, we’re human, and we may not always do that, you know? So I want to get back to, though, a little bit more about, you know, really, because you talked a little, you know, you talked about the, you know, about the harm that. That shame can cause, but then talking about how do we really help? Maybe not even families that are dealing with substance use issues, but maybe just in general, just to maybe prevent that from happening. So what would be some. How can we foster a really good nurturing environment where there’s good communication?

[00:16:01 – 00:21:37] Okay, well, yeah. So having a sense of our own emotional needs and being compassionate, you know, but it’s hard to be compassionate when we have a critical parent voice inside of our head, and so many of us do. So we. We want to be able to. There’s three different primary ego states that we have. We have the parent state, the adult state, and the child state. And these are developed by the time we are seven years old, for the most part. So we want to practice communication without strong emotion. So to be able to self regulate emotionally is a big issue for all. For so many of us, we’re stressed out. We have double income earning families these days. There’s not a lot of time for self care. There’s not a lot of time for listening deeply to another person. And there’s different levels of listening. When we’re distracted with our phone or our computer or our fear around finances or so many different things. It’s hard to be present in the now moment with our loved ones and our children, but that’s critical. And we want to be able to communicate in a way that is very gentle and respectful. We want to listen to our children with respect for their experience, because the amount of stress that we have, it definitely impacts the way they feel inside, too. The home environment. We want to do as much as we can to keep the home environment, an environment of calm. And so what does that mean? It means maybe playing soft music in the background in your home. Aromatherapy is helpful for creating a space of calm, learning to use nonviolent communication. And there’s a book on that by Marshall Rosenberg. And it talks about how to take out words in our vocabulary, like should, right, wrong, instead of using judgmental, critical words. Even good is a judgment, according to Marshall Rosenberg. But we want to start communicating instead of saying something is bad, to talk about our feelings when that happens. When you came home at 11:00 at night and you stumbled through the front door and you knocked over my favorite coffee mug off the coffee table, because you appear to be under the influence, I feel scared. I felt so scared. And I am wondering, you know, how can we. How can I support you? And what do you think needs to happen so that you’re safe at night out in the world? I mean, that’s pretty broad. But what I’m getting at is that instead of. How could you do that? You just broke my favorite coffee mug. You’re obviously drunk. What’s wrong with you? Instead, if we come from a place of curiosity and wonder, and we. We describe the facts with a tone of voice that, you know, back in the fifties, anyway, news, news reporters spoke very factually. Just the facts, right? And without emotion and without dagger shooting out of our eyes and finger pointing and loud voices, we want to keep the level of emotional conflict low. And the way we do that is through tone of voice, eye contact, body language. We practice speaking how we feel in front of the mirror, even so that we can see. What do I look like? My daughters today. And I have two daughters that are in their thirties today. They’ll call me out when my eyes are angry eyes. And don’t look at me like that. Because the truth is, is that that’s not necessary. Yes, I can feel anger, but then I need to. I need to step aside, go into the bathroom take, you know, do some square breathing. Breathe in for a count of four. Hold for a count of four. Exhale for a count of four. And hold empty for a count of four. Our Navy Seals are taught to do that to keep them calm in stressful situations. It’s on. It’s our responsibility to be able to emotionally regulate ourselves so that when I communicate, I can tell you I’m upset about things. Without ripping your head off.

[00:21:37 – 00:21:37] Yeah.

[00:21:37 – 00:21:41] But I wasn’t good at that as a mom. I wasn’t.

[00:21:41 – 00:22:02] Yeah, it’s not easy. And I think you mentioned one key word there that I felt was so good. Gotta practice. And especially practice when you are feeling calm because I think that is going to help you. So that then when those situations come, if you have practiced it, you can, like you said, you know, take a breath a little bit, you know, before.

[00:22:02 – 00:23:37] You speak, which is so true. You’re right. To have a practice that, for instance, I get up in the morning and I often reflect on the woman I want to be in the day in my journal. And I’ll write things down in advance. Like today, you know, I appreciate and I’m grateful for. And then I’ll write about the relationships that I have that I’m going to be with the people that I’m going to be interacting with today. And I sort of design my life every morning from what I know is about to happen. And then I. And I write about how I handle situations so that I’m conscious as I enter my day. Because if I just fly by the seat of my pants, I’m not able to always be the best version of myself. But I do meditate every morning, I do pray every morning, and I do breathe. And it’s like going to the gym, right? If you go to the gym every day or five days a week or three days a week, you’re going to be able to feel strong in your body. But if you’re feeling weak in your body and you just try to compensate by going to the gym for 5 hours or whatever, it’s not effective. We need to have a practice. And you’re right. When you have a practice, a breath practice, especially, and you know how it changes the way you feel inside, you’ll notice. It becomes a path, a practice. It becomes a habit, if you will.

[00:23:37 – 00:24:42] Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And I think the thing to remember, too, and, and I know I’ve had relationships in the past where I wasn’t being allowed to feel my feelings. It’s like just I’ll put a smile on your face. Get over it. It’s like, no, I’m feeling upset in this moment. And I think that’s what we need to do, starting with ourselves, is to certainly honor our own feelings, but then also honor the feelings of the other person, to be able to find out what it is that they’re feeling. We all want to be seen. We all want to be heard. And so if we want people to do that for us, then we need to do that for other people. And I know I still sometimes am not as good at that as I would like to be. And I forgive myself, and I just try to do better the next time. And I think that’s important, too, is to have a lot of self forgiveness so that then you can show that to other people. What do you think?

[00:24:43 – 00:32:11 ]Yeah, practicing compassion is really important, for sure. And also being willing to say, I regret the way I spoke to you earlier. It’s not okay for me to raise my voice because it’s really not okay to raise our voice at other people unless it’s imminent danger in the moment. Right. And to make amends as quickly as we can, because our children, especially, they’re told no a lot. And we tend to have low patience levels because we are stressed out. And again, that’s something that we need to be really self aware about, is, what is my level of stress? How can I take care of myself? Because it’s like putting on, you know, the face mask, you know, if the airplane is going down, you got to put your own on first so that you can help the other person. But I can’t help my child if I’m at full capacity in terms of my stress level. I need to bring my stress level down. My. A friend of mine showed me a Coke can one time, and he was like, your. Your capacity? You have none, basically, is what he was saying. Your can is full, and, you know, it’s your responsibility to find a way to lower the stress level so that your capacity goes down, because life will provide us with lots of opportunities to feel stressed out. And if our. If we’re at capacity, we’re going to unload and be inappropriate with other people, you know, and also speaking of emotions in our children and listening deeply to their emotions, a lot of times, they don’t even know what they’re feeling. They are operating from the amygdala area of the brain. We really don’t have access to the adult cognitive prefrontal cortex fully until we’re in our late twenties. So we expect our kids to be. They look like adults, right? They look like they’re grown enough to understand, but honestly, they’re living a lot from their own amygdala and feeling stressed out, which, by the way, is where we all are when we’re in stress. We’re living in that fight flight freeze state, and we want to be able to say to our child, when we see their body language like this, frowns or whatever, and I love this script that I tell parents and spouses, I sense by the fact that you’re frowning or your tone of voice sounds angry right now that you’re really feeling some deep emotions right now. Is that true? I sense by the fact that your arms are crossed right now and you’re not talking to me or you’re frowning or whatever it is that I’m seeing that you’re feeling shut down right now. You know, is that true? And then if they say, yeah, that’s true, then say, is there something that I have done that I could do better moving forward so that you don’t feel shut down with me? Or, you know, what was it that just happened, you know, right before you started feeling this way, that I could support you with? But if we can use I sense by the fact and then follow it with a word that you know, that you’re feeling even when they’re under the influence. No, not while they’re under the influence. But when we notice that they were under the influence and we don’t want to address them in the moment, we want to be able to say later, you know, last night when you walked in the front door and you were stumbling across the floor and your eyes were red and they were rolling in the back of your head, and I couldn’t understand what you were trying to say to me. I sensed by the fact that all of those things were happening that you were really, really high last night. Is that true? And they can say, no, that’s not true. And in that case, we would say something along the lines of, I know you want me to believe that, and you probably want to believe that yourself, but I’m going to believe what my eyes saw and what my ears heard, and I’m going to believe what I felt in my gut, and I’m afraid for your well being. And I want to know what you think needs to happen so that you don’t turn toward drugs and alcohol in a way that leaves you vulnerable and possibly prone to accident, injury, whatever. And, you know, if they’re dealing. If you sense that they’re dealing with fentanyl, obviously there needs to be an intervention as quickly as possible. And that’s another subject. But basically, we want to use that script. I sense by the fact that I saw, heard, you know, witnessed, whatever that ux. Is that true? Instead of, you were so messed up last night and that sort of a thing. Because that causes polarization and a breakdown in the relationship. And what’s most important when our loved one is struggling with substance use disorder. Is that you’re a safe person for them to come home to communicate with. And if that means that you have to go process with a therapist or a coach or your minister or whoever it is to decompress, then that’s what you need to do. You have to be responsible for your part in the relationship dynamics. And the most important thing is for you to have compassion. Because nobody is going and getting that screwed up. Who doesn’t have either a physical addiction. Because fentanyl. My daughter told me that when she was dead, detoxing in jail. That when she just blinked her eye because she was coming off of the opiates. It felt like somebody was slamming a brick in the side of her head. Because our opiate receptor sites in our brain stop producing opiates. When we have an external source of opiates. And, you know, nobody tells you this, but after the first time you’ve used fentanyl or heroin. You go through severe pain in your withdrawal process. And people call getting another dose of the drug medicine to feel well again. So that opiate has really taken over the physical body. And created a lot of dependency from an external source of opiates. Just to feel okay. Just to feel somewhat normal. And it’s hard to understand that when you haven’t ever had the experience. But that that detoxing process is really, really painful.

[00:32:13 – 00:32:58] I was just remembering. I was like, wait. I just saw something on television. And just reminded me now. It was an episode of the Good Doctor. Where one of the characters was trying to help a young woman. Who was having that exact problem. Is that she did need to have something to kind of to ease her. Because it was so painful, just what you were describing. So I think that the main thing is, as you say, if someone is dealing with that type of thing. It’s like so high level that you really do need to get some support. Don’t think that you can handle this all by yourself. Or at least that’s what I’m hearing you say. It sounds like really true.

[00:32:58 – 00:34:03] And what’s really interesting is I was at a conference the other day. And there was a man who was talking about psychosis related to marijuana use. And it’s crazy how the amount of THC in marijuana today is causing psychosis in young people. It’s triggering mental health issues that are genealogical that might not have ever been triggered had they not been smoking the weed. And the longer period of time that the child is using, like, it jumps in six months at a time, even that first six months, the longer period of time that that child is experiencing mild psychosis, and then it goes into the next level of psychosis, the less likely they’ll ever, ever be able to fully recover, which I never would have thought in a million years that marijuana could cause that. But it is doing that.

[00:34:03 – 00:34:44]It is, yeah. In fact, I had a previous guest on the podcast, which I will put the link to that in the show notes she was on a couple years ago, and her son tragically committed suicide because. Because of that. Because he had just gotten so, you know, out of his head with it. And I don’t think, you know, and I think he was, you know, ingesting these gummies or something that they. They were doing. So, I mean, it’s. It’s. Yeah, it was. It was really scary. So, yeah, be careful. It’s. It’s. Yeah. Cuz because her main point was that the pot of today is not like the pot that was around in the seventies. It’s way different. So it’s not. It’s way more dangerous. So.

[00:34:44 – 00:35:35] Well, I’m working with a family right now whose father has been smoking weed ever since the kids were born. And now the son is indulging in weed, and he’s showing all sorts of signs of being in mild psychosis. And the father’s in such denial about how the weed is responsible for it. And he thinks it’s like, you know, the reason he’s up all night and he’s isolated and detached from the family is because of his game, game playing, you know, which I’m sure contributes. But he’s smoking weed the whole time he’s playing those games. And. Yeah, so the parents are in denial about the fact that it’s not that. It’s not just the games, it’s the weed. And unfortunately, he’s 21 years old and he’s been doing this for a couple of years. It’s getting worse, not better.

[00:35:36 – 00:35:56] Well, before we end today, I’d like to leave our listeners and viewers with maybe a little hope. So what can you share with our audience that will help them out here and give them a little hope on how they can help their families out. What one last thing would you like to share?

[00:35:56 – 00:38:07] Well, I would just like to share that there’s a great book. It’s called Beyond Addiction, and it talks about using humor and specific communication skills. And it has scripts in it to help you communicate your concerns. And it has workbook type of questions that help you understand your child more effectively in the process of their addiction. And it is a wonderful education on how to love somebody who’s struggling with addiction and help them move toward recovery. And it’s based on something called community reinforcement and family training, because the studies show that when the family gets educated, the child or the loved one has a much better chance of choosing and sustaining recovery. So there’s a lot parents can do and a lot of spouses can do. And it begins with education, learning how to communicate with a compassionate tone of voice. And there’s all sorts of activities and practices in that book. It’s by Doctor Jeffrey Foote, and it’s called beyond addiction. And I highly recommend that families get that and don’t just rely on the book, but really get. Get a therapist that, or a coach that has had personal experience with family addiction and recovery, not just like a general practitioner. Because if you had oncology, I mean, if you had cancer, you would go to an oncologist, not a general practitioner, and you wouldn’t go to a layman, meaning, like somebody in Al Anon and a sponsor, and ask them how to help your loved one who had cancer. You need to go to a professional who’s been trained to support families and help and has, you know, a history of being able to help them get their child into recovery. So, yeah, I decided I tried to do this alone.

[00:38:07 – 00:38:20] Right. I was gonna say, that’s a perfect segue. So you are one of those people. I know. So if folks want to be able to maybe contact you, since I know that is something that you help folks with, what’s the best place for folks to do?

[00:38:21 – 00:38:40] Okay, so you can go to my website and schedule a consultation with me. And you can also reach me at my phone number, which is 818-532-8636 and yeah, love support anybody who’s looking for that support.

[00:38:40 – 00:39:23] All right, excellent. So the website is andreaarlington.com. i will have that in the show notes as well, for those of you who are listening. And I so appreciate you taking some time on your day today to talk about this subject, because it is something that I don’t think we all necessarily do talk about. But it’s so important. I think the more that we can let folks know that there are ways to help. You don’t have to feel totally hopeless because there is hope, but you do need to do some things and there were a lot. You shared some wonderful strategies today, so I really appreciate it. So thank you so much.

[00:39:24 – 00:39:55] You’re very welcome. And let me just add one more thing, because the craft model of family recovery has been around for 40 years, and the studies show that when a family gets involved with a craft therapist or coach, that about 80% of the time their loved one enters treatment within seven weeks. So that’s really great statistic. So there’s your hope, right? Five to seven weeks is really what it shows. So please, please know that there is hope.

[00:39:55 – 00:40:37]Very good. All right, well, thank you so much again. And I do want to thank all of you for listening and for watching today. I hope you did receive some value from this. And if you did, you know, please let us know. And yeah, if you’re hopefully you are subscribed to the podcast, and if not, so please do that on your favorite podcast platform. You can also subscribe to our YouTube channel where we put the videos of the podcastloriagracerand. And until next time, I think that’s going to do it for us. So I hope and encourage you to go out and live fully, love deeply and engage authentically.

[00:40:39 – 00:41:14] Did you know that a majority of entrepreneurs customers tend to discount the importance of their work and a good number feel their success is simply due to luck? I know from personal experience that self doubt can keep you from having the kind of life and business you desire. That’s why I’ve created a free guide called uniquely you. How to move from self doubt to self love in four simple steps. To claim your free guide, go to liveloveengage gift. That’s liveloveengage. G I F T.

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About the Author
An online marketer, SEO copywriter, and speaker for 15+ years, Gloria Grace Rand has helped over 150 companies including AAA and Scholastic Book Fairs attract and convert leads into sales.

Losing her older sister to cancer propelled Gloria on a journey of spiritual awakening that resulted in the publication of her international best-selling book, "Live. Love. Engage. – How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Start Being Yourself."

Known as “The Light Messenger” for her ability to intuitively transmit healing messages of love and light, Gloria combines a unique blend of energy healing techniques, intuition, and marketing expertise to create transformational results for her clients.

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