How to Know When It’s Time to Pivot After 50

It’s not unusual for a moment to arrive after 50 when the life you’ve built stops fitting who you’ve become. This edition of Design Your Life, Your Way is all about learning to trust that inner knowing to pivot, even when it asks everything of you.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Pandora | iHeartRadio | Podchaser | Email | RSS


There often comes a time in midlife when the life you’ve been living no longer feels like your own. Maybe it’s the marriage that drifted, a career that lost its meaning, or simply the growing ache of wanting something more aligned with who you are now. As you’ll learn in this conversation, I reached a pivot point in my marriage that came about after years of inner work and courage-building. I also share the slower, sacred pivot in my professional life from SEO copywriter to midlife empowerment guide and light language channel.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

  • Why the pivot point often arrives not as a crisis, but as a quiet, undeniable knowing — and how to honor it.
  • How years of inner work (meditation, journaling, coaching, retreats) can lay the foundation for courageous life changes.
  • The role clarity plays in knowing not just when to change course, but which direction to move.
  • How Gloria finally found the courage to leave a 30-year marriage — and how that decision helped both of them.
  • Why your professional pivot may be a divine download waiting for you to catch up to it.
  • A live light language transmission to help you release what no longer serves you and invite clarity in.

Read the Transcript

Whether you’re standing at the edge of a major change or just beginning to hear the whisper that something needs to shift, this episode will help you recognize the signs, trust your inner wisdom, and take the first step toward designing your life your way.

Resources & links mentioned:

*FYI – I will receive compensation if you sign up for Tiffany’s workshop.

Design Your Life, Your Way – next steps:

TRANSCRIPT – How to Know When It’s Time to Pivot After 50

Namaste. How do you know when it’s time to change course in your life or your business? We’re going to be talking about that today. We’re going to talk about this pivot point and how you can, I guess, prime yourself for recognizing it or just be. Yeah. Yeah. How to prime yourself for recognizing it. Yeah. That’s what I’m going to say. That’s, that’s my plan. And that’s what I’m sticking to it today. Oh, goodness. Yeah.

well, I tell you, it’s this is an interesting thing I want to share. I’ll share a story from my life because it’s been, at least for my personal life. And then we’ll talk about, we’ll talk about the business side of it as well. for me, it’s been a little stranger, shall we say? About. Well, no, actually. Okay, you know what? Yeah, I’ve got lots of examples. I’m just. I’m realizing it today. I mean, I know I always come prepared with some notes about where I want to go today, but, but I’m just thinking now that. Yeah. How do you know when it’s time to change course?

A Marriage of 30+ Years and the Moment Everything Shifted

Well, for me, in my personal life, I mean, one of the big one of the big changes that I made a course correction, I guess, if you will, or definitely a maybe not a course correction, but a definite, definite pivot point for me came about when I knew I was four years ago. Four years ago. No, I guess even five years ago now. Yeah. It was. That’s right. It was five years ago. It was five years ago. And it was January of twenty twenty one, as a matter of fact. Yeah. That’s right. So it was five years ago. And, something happened and and I’m not going to go into it, but there was just something was happening in the world, let’s just say. And the way that my, my, my significant other, my husband reacted to what was going on. Shook me to the core. And I realized at that moment that our values just weren’t in alignment anymore.

I had put up with a lot of a lot of things. And of course, he puts up, he had, you know, we’ve been married at that point, you know, well over thirty years. And, you know, we each have our faults, you know, nobody’s perfect. And I put up with a lot from him and he put up with a lot from me. But I’d also been unhappy for a long time, seriously unhappy in my marriage. I there were there were things about it, you know, you know, we got two kids and, and of course, when they were younger, I. And even I think probably when they were younger, I was fine. But it was like, as the years go by, there are certain times and certain things that, you know, I realized that I was putting up with a lot of stuff for a long time.

When You Realize You Married Your Mother

And I also had realized that my husband, shared a lot of the same characteristics of my mother, God rest her soul, not necessarily the good characteristics. you know, and I wanted to say, you know, a a lot of times we, you know, girls marry their father. Well, I’m I’m married. My mother, frankly. and I should have known because, I mean, their birthdays are one day apart. you know, just decades apart, but one day apart the same month of the year. So the same astrological sign and that, that that was the clue right there. But you know, when you’re young and you’re in love, you overlook these things.

And so we, you know, we raised two kids together. And, and for the most part, things were, were going okay. But as the kids got older, you know, got to middle middle school and high school and, and I had also started my business, around this time as well back in. Well, yeah. And so I started a business and didn’t get a lot of support from him at the beginning. And so like I said, there were things that just kind of kept piling on.

The Fantasy That Kept Her Going — Until It Couldn’t

And I and I used to, daydream of, frankly, leaving him and moving in with my sister. And even though that would necessitate moving to Arizona and I lived in Florida and I liked being closer to the ocean, so I wasn’t sure I really wanted to live in the desert. And then in the end of twenty sixteen, my sister passed from cancer. So. I didn’t have that fantasy, you know, that fantasy was over now. And it’s like, okay, so what am I going to do? Am I going to continue making the best of it and stay in this marriage because I really, I really did want to I, that was has had been my intention because everyone else in my family has gotten divorced.

My parents got divorced eventually. My brother, well, he. He did get married, but then he wound up getting his marriage annulled. and then my sister got divorced. So not very good role models there. Now, frankly, my in-laws, they stayed married. they, you know, until until my mother in law passed. So they, they had a long marriage. In fact, they, they were married over forty years, as I recall. Yeah. We went to a forty. They, his, their daughter, my, my sister in law had thrown them a fortieth anniversary party. So I guess I did have and then I did have some other good friends that were another good, wonderful couple, that actually were godparents for my kids and, you know, they were a good role model for me.

The Inner Work That Made the Pivot Possible

But so as I said, my intention was to stay married, but I started really just feeling like I was putting up with a lot. And, and, and part of what was going on in my life at this time was that I was, I was doing some work on myself. So starting in two thousand and nine, I started my meditation practice and spending a lot of time getting to know myself again, getting to know and to trust my feelings. And then, around the time when my sister had, was diagnosed with, with cancer. And then after she passed, I was, I started really doing a lot of personal development work. I was in a mastermind that offered different personal development courses. And so it was really, I was really growing as a person. But that other person in my marriage wasn’t and, and didn’t really show any desire to want to do anything.

And so that was really and, and I know that this is sort of a trope, you know, it’s, it’s the age old thing, you know, one person is growing, you know, and the other, you know, the, oh, we’re, we’re drifting apart type of thing. Well, yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s, it happens. And it really was happening for me because I was. I was doing a lot of work on myself and learning about myself and starting to really get to know who I am at my core. And, and even just remembering who I, frankly, who I was before I got involved in this relationship.

Recognizing You’ve Been Dimming Your Own Light

And I didn’t like some of the things that I was doing. I didn’t I didn’t really like who I had become in the marriage, because I was this person who was making a lot of compromises and not speaking up and just letting him make decisions. And, and I had, I realized that, and I think I’ve even might have talked about this before on the podcast, but I realized that I had, I was becoming like my dad and that when my parents, how I remember their relationship growing up was that he was very quiet. And my mom was very, very much, in a way more of the man in the family. You know, she was a very masculine energy. She was very, very straightforward, very, very loud at times. Now, my dad could sometimes, but again, he was seemed to have more of a passive energy, let’s say not necessarily feminine, but very passive. And I think that’s how he figured it was probably better to just kind of let her take the lead on stuff. And because he didn’t want to pick a fight with her. And, and I realized that I had was doing the same type of thing. And I didn’t like that because I am a strong personality. You know, I think we all are. And, and I just realized that I was hiding my light. I wasn’t shining my light.

How Do You Know When It’s Time? A Wise Coach’s Answer

So one of the things that I, I started doing was I not only doing personal development work, but I was also working with different coaches and at different times. And I remember as this was starting to come to a head and it was probably around the time maybe twenty nineteen or so that I was working with this one. One lovely coach. She unfortunately has since passed, but her name is Marty. And I said, you know, how do you how do you know when is the right time? Because I was like feeling like I, I might want to, you know, ask for a divorce, but I was, I was scared and I wasn’t sure what, you know, how that was going to change my life. And, and I was also again, had been this person who was very conflict avoidant because I had grown up in a home where there was a lot of family drama and yelling and, stuff. So I didn’t like that. And so again, that was part of what, these habits of I, you know, became this people pleaser, and didn’t want to make waves.

But yeah, so, so she gave me a wonderful piece of advice, which I’m going to pass along to you on. How do you know when it’s time to change course? She says, you’ll know there will come a time when you just will know. And she was right. And, and like I said, it happened for me in twenty twenty one.

Getting Your Ducks in a Row: The Year Before the Conversation

Now I didn’t it took me a whole nother year to actually have the conversation with my husband because I wanted to get all my ducks in a row. And so I worked with a divorce coach. because I wanted to, I wanted to make this an amicable divorce. I’ve heard so many horror stories of couples who, you know, really get into these horrible divorces where, you know, they’re they’re just really yelling and, and, and it’s very vindictive and, you know, working with attorneys and just, I didn’t want that because I wasn’t in an abusive, you know, physically abusive relationship. He did have a temper sometimes, but he didn’t he never, you know, took it out on me physically, thank goodness. Or I probably would have left a lot sooner. Somehow I would have found the way I know I feel in my core that I would have. But it was more of. Psychological. And again, not. Not as to the degree.

Recently I had Laurie Jacobson on the, on the program and, you may have seen, seen that episode or heard that episode yet. but if not, look out for it. But she, she was in a really, I think emotionally, emotionally, emotionally abusive relationship with her, with her spouse before she decided to leave. So mine had some of that. But, you know, mostly he was, you know, and I, I do, I, I, you know, I get along with him. I don’t, I still know now that I don’t want to ever live with him again. He’s a good guy, but I don’t want to live with him.

But I, I knew that I wanted to, I wanted this to be as easy as possible. And that’s why it took me a year to kind of get things in line before I actually asked him. But it was really interesting. It was that when this, this event happened and and. how he responded to it. And it was also thinking back of how he had some other things, too, that I realized it was like, you know, that’s it. Yeah, I just, I can’t do it anymore.

Designing Life on Your Own Terms — and What That Looks Like Now

And, and that’s when I just started to look at how I could design my life my way. And you know, what’s led me to where I am today? You know, living on my own, living in an apartment. We, we are still connected. And, and it’s okay because my leaving helped him to start taking more responsibility and doing things that I was doing for him a lot. and I think it’s much better this way. And, and I’m proud of myself for finally honoring who I am and realizing that I deserve to be happy in a way that makes me happy. Right? And so you do too. You deserve to have a life that serves you. And if you are not having that right now, then it’s time for you to start thinking about what will it take to change that.

The Foundation That Makes a Pivot Possible: Doing the Inner Work

And, and the other point I want to make here is that. All along the way, before I finally came to that pivot point and, and where I was like, okay, yeah, this is it. You know, I’m done. I was taking action. I was attending courses, you know, or, or workshops I was working with different coaches. I was spending a lot of time in inner work. I was meditating, I was journaling, and so doing that is what laid the foundation for me to finally come to the decision, because I was getting to know myself, and I was really starting to pay attention and figure out what do I want? What do I want from this life? What would make me happy? And it finally came to the point where it was like, okay, yeah, what I want is for things to change. I don’t want to be in this relationship the same way anymore.

The Retreat That Gave Her the Courage to Let Go

And I will tell you one. One of the. Shortly before I finally got up the courage to talk to him, I was at a. I went to a retreat again. Retreats are wonderful to get away for a few days, and I was on. I went to this retreat in Florida and with a wonderful group of women and, you know, I was talking about what was going on with my life and how I was really, you know, not happy in my marriage. And seriously looking at I think I’m going to be asking him for a divorce. And, you know, I’ve been working on working on doing that. And there’s, it’s, I’m getting ready to do that. And so they asked me, you know, why? Why are you wearing a wedding ring then? And I was like, oh, that’s interesting.

And so I took my wedding ring off that weekend and haven’t worn it since even before we separated. Now he. He still wears his. But to me, it really was that symbol of letting go. You know, I talk about letting go and letting God as part of the the love method. So yeah, I had, I, I let that ring go. It’s put away safely with my other jewelry, but I had to let that let that part of my life go. And I think that was also what started again, giving me that courage to finally say, yeah, this is, this is what I want for my life now.

Midlife Career Pivots: When Your Professional Life Needs to Change Too

Now I wanted to talk about also in business, because I know a lot of you out there are entrepreneurs or, or maybe you’re working, maybe you’re a professional and you are working for an organization and, and again, you know, in when we get to be definitely over fifty, I think for sure. And we, you know, we hit midlife that we do start asking these questions, you know, is this all there is? You know, do I still want to not only my personal life do the same things, but maybe in my professional life, I want to do something different. And, and you start kind of thinking about what is it I want to do?

And, and sometimes what happens to precipitate this is maybe it is your kids finally moving out of the house and starting their own lives. And now you’re an empty nester and you’re, you know, even though you’ve been maybe happily employed or maybe you haven’t been employed, but maybe you’ve been a stay at home mom and you now you want to do something or you have been working, whether it is whether you are working a nine to five job or whether you’ve had your business, and maybe that has served you for a long time. But you know, now you’re like, well. Is this the time for me to make a change? How do I know when it’s time? What? What can I do?

When Loss Becomes the Catalyst for Professional Reinvention

And I think sometimes it is going to be it could be having having something happen in your life. So it could be perhaps, maybe, maybe a relationship change prompts you to make the business change, you know, or the professional change. Because maybe, maybe it’s not you who decided in the marriage, maybe your spouse did. And so now you are taking a look at all areas of your life. So that could be something that happens. It could be that perhaps you lose a loved one. Maybe it is your spouse. Maybe now you have become a widow. Or maybe it’s a close family member. Like for me, when my sister passed, that was a big shock to me because she was the last person of, of my, you know, immediate family that I had grown up with. And, and even though I had been happily growing my SEO copywriting business. I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep doing that. And I was really considering what did I want to do differently? So. Or if you know, if I wanted to continue even doing it at all.

And so for me, that journey in a way has been ongoing, because it’s now been it’s been almost ten. No. Yeah. It’s been. Almost ten years since my sister passed. It’ll be ten years in about six months or so, eight months, eight months. And it’s really only been, I, I’ve been slowly pivoting out of doing the copywriting and into doing coaching, which was what I was really feeling drawn to do.

A Divine Download: When the Universe Taps You on the Shoulder

But. Even more than that, though, I think the. When is it time to change course? Mm. Sometimes. How do you know is when you get tapped on the shoulder by the universe. Mm-hm. Because I’m thinking now what is coming to mind is that what really changed my course and changed my direction will be ten years this October, when I was meditating and I heard this voice in my head say, you need to write a book about love. And. I looked around my. I opened my eyes, looked around my room, and went. Why would I write a book about love? What the heck do I know? Why do I know about love? Why I’m a copywriter? Why. Why would I write a book about love?

Well, as it turned out, that that idea that really was the impetus for changing the course of my business, even though it took it took a while for that to, to formulate because I didn’t finish. I didn’t really seriously finish writing the book until twenty twenty, even though I started it. But, you know, I had to go through the grieving process, losing my sister. And, and so I was working on it here and there, but I finally, yeah, I really did take, I think I might have started know I started in twenty nineteen. Yeah, I started in twenty nineteen. Seriously writing it and then then finished it in twenty twenty. So.

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone to Discover What Lights You Up

And I’m trying to think, how did I know when was the time for me to change course? Yeah, I think. Oh yes. Okay. So for me, for the business side of it, it was working with a coach and stepping out of my comfort zone. Because for me, even as I was writing this book, it still I was still doing copywriting. I was still working with small business owners, helping them, doing, doing content for their websites, helping them with emails, things like that. I was still doing that type of work, even though I, and I was giving like, you know, presentations about LinkedIn, I think I was doing LinkedIn course, all types of marketing stuff. You know, I was doing marketing stuff, even though I was. Being drawn to the coaching world and wanting to do more personal development, really work with, with people, with women in particular. And now, of course, I know for sure it’s women in midlife, women over fifty like I am to to work with them.

But how did I know when it was time? It was when I stepped out of my comfort zone and talked. I gave a presentation on the Love Method. That’s what I write about in my book, where love is an acronym. And I had intended to do a presentation about LinkedIn for this or this women’s group, but they never publicized the topic. And so in working with my coach, my coach was encouraging me to talk about it because he felt it would help me to write the book if I started talking about it more. And he was right. It did help. So I asked the organizer if it was okay if I did this presentation and I talked about, you know, the love method. And so she said, yes. And so I did. And I, it was positively received. That’s, that’s what I’ll say. It was positively received by, by the women there. And that gave me the confidence to keep going, to really dive into what was the love method and to start writing the book.

And, and then to start even doing. I know after that, I started doing Facebook lives where I was reading the Daily Word from Unity every day. I did this for like over a month where I was, I would go live every single day. And the first day again, I was nervous about doing it because people were used to hearing me talk about marketing, online marketing, not to talk about spirituality and God and and all of this. And so I was nervous, but I liked doing it. It lit me up inside to share the daily word. And eventually I started channeling light language too, which eventually I also started sharing.

How to Start Knowing: The Tools That Help You Find Your Way

So how do you know when it’s time to change course? Sometimes it’s getting that signal, getting some kind of a. Whether it is like a divine download, which is what I call my my idea to write a book about love or it is working with people and doing the work on yourself so that you start to. Know what you want because the only way to do that is to get to know yourself and. And then I recommend doing that. All the things I’ve talked about today is, is going to workshops. Go to retreats, work with coaches, work with counselors, do the inner work like practicing mindfulness or meditation journal, do breathwork, whatever, whatever you find that you can do to help yourself, start to know who you are because that is the only way that you are then going to be able to design your life your way. You got to learn who you are, what you believe, what do you value? And, and then you can start putting that into action.

Your Values Are Your Compass for Changing Course

And I want to read this to you. This was some some work that I did last year when I was working with my branding coach, Tiffany Neuman, was coming up with what are my values? And I actually, my, my website has been redesigned now thanks to my wonderful daughter, Ali Rand and we put these values on, on the website. But, but I had their slightly written a little bit different than how I have them, but this was my initial way of putting them together. And this was these are my values and. Maybe they’ll inspire you by sharing them today to come up with your own values and figure out what. Yeah, what’s important to you because that will help you in. Then. Changing course. It’ll give you the help to give you the direction of not only knowing now knowing once you know when it’s time to change course, this will help you know that you’re moving in the right direction.

So for me, my values are authenticity and it comes from being true to yourself always and in all ways. Acceptance of your divine nature leads to freedom. Joy is your birthright. Live it. Love is what you’re made of. Embrace it. Be of service to others, however, and whenever you can. Spirituality. It’s the thread that connects us to one another, and our higher power and community is how we thrive.

And I love I have them, I was reading them because I have them saved on a little piece of paper and I. I like putting them, keeping them on my desktop to as a reminder to me that of what’s, what’s really important.

Keep Moving, Keep Growing: A Summary for Your Own Pivot

And yeah, so. I think I’ve covered the main points. Yeah, I of how, how to know when it’s time to change course because it’s, I think mostly it’s about keep moving, you know, keep, keep moving, keep growing. And, and also then yeah, determining, start formulating a picture of what you want. Because once you do get clear on what you want, then as you are doing this work, eventually there will come a time. Maybe someone will come into your life. You’ll. Or you’ll, you’ll get some sort of a sign that like, okay, yeah, now is the time. It’s time to move forward. I’ve done the prep work, but now it’s time to just really dive in and, and change course and, and make, make that change. And whether it’s in your personal life or your professional life, you can do it.

Light Language Transmission: Releasing What Doesn’t Serve You

So what I want to share with you right now, before we end today’s show, is something I mentioned briefly, something that I also started to do, which has, which has also been a tool that I have used to help me in releasing what doesn’t serve me and helping me to gain more clarity about taking different actions in my life. And so what I want to share with you right now is something that I call light language. And it is a form of communication that I speak and I sing, sometimes both not at the same time. That would be a good trick, but, but I do, you know, depending sometimes it’s only spoken, sometimes it’s only sung or sometimes I go back and forth. But what it is, is it’s something that, it’s a, it’s a language that may sound familiar to you, but you can’t quite place it. And that’s okay because it’s really a language that is meant for your heart. It is, it’s almost, it’s a type of sound healing really, because it’s everything that we, we speak is, is a vibration and it’s a frequency. And when I am sharing this, it really is a love frequency. And so it’s a very, I feel very healing. Spiritual healing could be even be physically healing, but definitely emotionally and spiritually healing type of message.

So what I will invite you to do today is if you’re listening to this, while you’re driving your car to pause and come back to this later when you can be, sitting somewhere comfortably, ideally even to just close your eyes and just allow whatever comes through to wash over you and, and set an intention that whatever you do here today, maybe it will be, maybe you are looking at trying to know when it’s time to change course and ask for guidance. Ask for a sign that you know that will allow you to know it’s time. So set that intention. But regardless, whatever that the message you hear is going to be for your soul’s highest good and the highest good of all. So that’s, that’s the intention I am setting that what I share will be for your soul’s highest good. So just relax, breathe, close your eyes if you like. I’m going to close my eyes because I like to. I like to close my eyes when I do this too. Okay.

[Audio transmission only]

Closing: Every Decade Better Than the One Before

Hope you enjoyed that today. And, I would like to encourage you or invite maybe not encourage, let’s say invite invite you to,. Get if you’d like to know more about yeah, if you’d like to know more about light language, maybe you’d like to work with me. and, actually. Get a, get a, a private session with me. I do, I do a intro, an intro introductory session, that you can schedule. It’s like a fifteen minute one, so you’ll have it. So it’ll be a little bit longer than what I just shared with you now. And we’ll be able to work on something that is unique to you, what, what you’re particularly going through. So I will have the link to that in the show notes, today. So, and of course, if you’re watching this, you, you’ll, you’ll see the link right on the screen. So you can, you can go there and schedule a complimentary fifteen minute session with me and then, you know, see how, see if you like it, because I do also offer longer sessions that you can, that you can purchase as well.

So, yeah, I really, I’m, I’m so glad to be with you. I’d love to, I love, I love talking about how to, how to make midlife your best time of your life. And because I was, I was talking with someone the other day. I was saying that, you know, every decade I’ve, I’ve, I’ve been in now has been better than the one before. You know, my forties were good. even though I had some losses during that time. But then my fifties were good. And again, even though I had some losses in those times, but overall, it was still good because I was growing and I was learning. And now my sixties also and a phenomenal time. And I am looking forward to, well, first getting through the rest of this decade. But, you know, we’ll see what the seventies hold for me because I’ll probably still be here doing, maybe doing this podcast or maybe doing something else. Who knows? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Who knows? Who knows where we’ll be. But for now, I want to thank you for being here today, and I hope that you’ve learned something to help you to live life boldly and on purpose.

Spread the love

Leave a Comment

Related Posts

free quiz

What's Your Personal Power Archetype?

Take this quiz now to discover your natural strengths as a midlife entrepreneur, and learn exactly what needs attention so you can live your life, your way.

take the quiz