Have you ever considered that the act of hospitality could be the key to personal and business growth? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with Annie McCune, author of “Practicing Hospitality, the Joy and Grace of Loving Strangers,” to explore how welcoming strangers into your life can revolutionize our lives and businesses.
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Show Notes | Transcript“A simple smile in making eye contact is just huge for the image that your business portrays. And so it ends up really helping your bottom line, because people like your business, because you have been hospitable.” – Annie McCune
Annie shares her journey of opening her doors to hundreds of people from around the world, challenging our preconceptions about hospitality and connection. We delve into the transformative power of embracing strangers and how it can combat the growing epidemic of loneliness in our society.
Discover how true hospitality can:
- Enrich your personal life and create lasting memories
- Foster deeper connections in your community and beyond
- Enhance your business practices and improve customer relations
Key insights include:
- The misconceptions about hospitality that hold us back
- Practical steps to overcome fear and embrace openness
- How hospitality principles can be applied in various industries
- The importance of creating a welcoming environment in the workplace
Whether you’re an entrepreneur looking to improve your business relationships or simply seeking to add more depth to your personal life, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on the power of connection. Prepare to be inspired to open your heart and your doors to new possibilities!
Resources:
Join the Soulful Women’s Network
Listen to interview with Philip Blackett – “Dissent with Grace: Fostering Healthy Debate”
Connect with Annie McCune:
Website: anniebooks.com
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TRANSCRIPT
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Namaste. Have you ever thought inviting strangers into your home could make your life richer and your business stronger? Well, stick around as my guest challenges everything you might think about hospitality and connection. In today’s world, this conversation might just change how you view strangers and success. But before I bring her on, I’d like to welcome those of you who may be new to Live. Love. Engage. I am Grace Rand, and I help female entrepreneurs attract clients through my definition of SEO, which is to Spiritually Engage Others. And joining us today is Annie McCune. She is a connector, a lover of people, and author of “Practicing Hospitality, the joy and grace of loving Strangers.” And Annie has opened her doors to hundreds of people from all over the world, and I can’t wait to hear what she has to say about this subject. So, without further ado, I’m going to bring her on, and let’s see if we can add her to the stage. There she is. So welcome, Annie to live. Love. Engage.
Annie McCune
Hello, Gloria Grace.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Well, I want to dive right in and talk about how genuine hospitality can really transform our lives and businesses because I’m very, very intrigued by this. So I’m going to give you the stage here.
Annie McCune
Okay, well, thank you. Well, we have just been a household of who has always opened our doors. And so it helps when you come from a family like that. I grew up next to my grandmother, cousins on the other side. The doors were always open. Lots of people in and out, friends in and out. My dad would go to the international institute in Buffalo and say, does anyone need a meal? And he’d bring people home for dinner. And not all the time, but, you know, my mother would like, okay. And, you know, so that was part of my journey when I married my husband. We also just began opening our doors. And if we had an extra room and somebody needed one, we’d invite them in. And it’s. I know that brings up fear in a whole lot of people. Who are you letting in the door? And then as we went on, people would call us and say, hey, we know you take in people. We don’t. What would you open your door? We have somebody from Kyrgyzstan. We have somebody from Afghanistan. We have the Polish boys choir. We’ve got the Scottish soccer team. We’ve got the Lithuanian group. And we ended up just having a lifetime of memories, of fun, of growth for us, for our kids by opening up our doors. But I don’t want to scare people saying, you have to do that. But as you know, we live in an age where now that we’re through the COVID pandemic. We are facing an epidemic of loneliness and isolation. And the CDC says one in three are suffering from that. The Surgeon General just wrote, like a 90 page missive on how he suffered from it and how we’ve got to do something about this. And people had always told me, oh, you should write a book. So we ended up moving to Atlanta. I had some time. I wrote the book, but in the middle of writing the book, I thought, I wonder if I really am practicing hospitality. What does hospitality really mean? Because I am the farthest thing from Martha Stewart, and I love Martha Stewart, and she is an inspiration to millions. And she did tell me that it’s okay not to have matching placemats, which is really helpful. But I find if I look at those things, then I get scared and I don’t open my door. And so when I looked at the definition of hospitality, it actually comes from a root word, philoxenia, which means loving strangers as family. And I was shocked and relieved. It’s kind of what we’ve been doing as a family. But I also realized that the false definition as being having to entertain really well or having to have the bandwidth if somebody invites me over there, I’m going to have to invite them over. You know, the reciprocal, having to keep raising the bar is absolutely what frightens most people from opening their door in the first place. And so I really got excited about sharing just that word. Philoxenia. Let’s love strangers as family. Let’s get over those fears. Let’s just try it. Because I have found there is so much grace, there is so much joy. It’s not about the food you cook. It’s not about the decor. We are made for connection, and people just want to know you care about them enough to let them in and see your vulnerable self, which in my house is also, you know, it’s the messy death. It’s. It’s the things that look. Oh, no, I wasn’t expecting it. But I’m so glad you’re here. It’s that kind of loving faith, you know, family, if you’re. I know you’ve had siblings. I know some of them have passed. But, you know, if. If one of them had showed up at your door, you wouldn’t say, oh, sorry, go away. You’d let them in because. Because you just showed them some love and you wanted to be with them. And that’s what we’re kind of missing.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Well, lots of stuff is going through my head at the moment with that. I mean, starting off number one, just from when you were first talking about inviting all these people in is, I did remember that. Well, number one, when I was a kid, we hosted exchange students from Norway, which was lovely. And then when my kids were younger, we actually had an opportunity to welcome a couple young women who were from France, I believe. And so my kids got to meet other people from another culture. I like to think that planting seeds and that they have both traveled to Europe now, my kids, and have been able to meet other people. So when you were also then talking about the Martha Stewart thing and being afraid, I think also sometimes I think people get maybe stressed out, and it kind of comes to that point of, my house is a mess, or how can I invite people over or things like that. So what do you have to say with regards to that? How do you advise people who maybe, maybe who are not the best housekeepers, let’s say, but they would like to entertain, but, you know, they feel, you know, kind of uncomfortable. It’s not quite the word I’m looking for, but maybe, maybe embarrassed even. What would you say?
Annie McCune
Well, a couple things. One is that we do have to examine, why am I afraid? And, you know, is there some standard that I have artificially set in my head of the way it should be? And so many of those are just. They’re just lies, you know, and you have to just say, that’s not a reality. The reality is there’s somebody I want to get to know, or there’s somebody that needs to get to know me. And. And so we think about the people, not about us. You know, we have to get our mind off of us and know that there’s just power in opening the door and connecting with people. It’s the presence. It’s looking them in the eye. It’s saying, hey, I would love to know your story. And giving them space, giving them room, letting them see the vulnerable you. The thing is, in this day and age, there are so many good takeouts. There’s people that can do the cooking, but there’s not the people to sit down and break bread with, because that’s what we’ve closed our doors to. And that is where the power and the grace and the real change, and it just comes in, and that’s what we’re missing. That’s what we need. That’s what’s so beautiful.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Well, let’s get down to some practical things here, because what are some ways that we actually can start connecting deeply with people? And especially I also want to be able to get into, well, you know what? I’m going to do that after. Let’s just start first with that, because sometimes I overwhelm my guests. I ask two questions at the same time, so I’m going to limit myself today. How can we start to connect deeply with people?
Annie McCune
Well, if we remember the word philoxenia, okay, loving strangers. We know a word, and we use a word a lot that comes from a similar root, xenophobia, fear of strangers. And we have to overcome that because that’s just a fear of. That’s really a vain imagination. We don’t know if those are scary people or not. You know, we just don’t know them. But we become hostile instead of hospitable. And so a lot of it is just looking. Who do I need to know? We had the officer, kind of the safety officer in our town, come over and talk to our HOA. I’ve never been part of an HOA before. That’s a new experience. It can be scary for a lot of people and wonderful. But our officer’s name, his name is actually Louis DeFense. Louis DeFense. Major DeFense, which I just love the name, but he said, you know, you can put up neighborhood watch signs, but what you’re doing here? We happened to invite a number of neighbors to our house that day, and he was giving a presentation, and he said, is getting to know your neighbors. The safest way to live in your neighborhood is to know your neighbors and to have connections with them and to, you don’t have to be best friends, but. But know who they are. Know who is usually in your neighborhood. And if you know who’s usually in your neighborhood and you know them well enough, then you’ll know, oh, this so and so is having their brother in for a couple of days. You don’t need to know everybody’s business that way. But to go, these are the people that we have a lot in common. We have chosen to live on this street or in this building or whatever we have that. Just get to know them. Don’t be afraid of them. To make those kind of just basic connections will really enrich your life. And don’t make the pre-judgments on the people you don’t know yet.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
I love that. And it’s so funny. As you’re talking, the song, an old song is popping in my head. These are the people in your neighborhood. Any Sesame Street fan out there remembers that song. And yeah, you’re right. It is about getting to know people. And I know for when we first moved into a neighborhood that we didn’t know people. We didn’t even know our next door neighbors for the longest time until finally it might have taken a storm or something or other that we finally got to meet. But it’s so much richer when you can get to know people and then you can look out for each other. And that’s what it comes down to. We’re going to take a quick break, and then when I get back, I want to talk to you a little bit more about actually how this applies to business for our audience. So we’ll be right back. And I just want to do a quick little message here.
So if you have been enjoying the podcast, I just wanted to invite you to show your support by voting for live love engage. We’ve actually been nominated for a women in podcasting award in the mindset category, and voting is open until October 1, 2024. So you still have a little time left. And what you can do is you can go to womeninpodcasting.net forward slash awards and just look for the mindset category. Look for live love engage, and you can give us your vote. And of course, I will have that in the show notes as well. And, you know, we’re talking about getting to know your neighbors, and that is really about getting to know people in your community. But also, there’s a way to be able to foster community sometimes online, because we don’t always live close to the people that we want to be able to connect with, people who are maybe of a similar mindset. And that’s why I launched the Soulful Women’s Network. And so if you are interested in connecting with a group of fun, creative, powerful women who support each other in business and life, I invite you to check out our free community. Just go to bit.ly forward slash soulnetwork. And with bit.ly, you know, you have to make sure about the characters. So it’s all lowercase for soul network. And of course, I will have that in the show notes as well. So let’s go back, and we’re going to go ahead and bring back our lovely guest here today. And we are going to continue our discussion because I would like to know, because we do have a lot of entrepreneurs, female entrepreneurs who are watching the show. So how do you, how do we apply this hospitality to our business?
Annie McCune
Well, it’s very similar. And what was interesting is I started doing a little deeper dive. I looked into the hospitality industry, which is going to be, it’s like a 9 billion, 900,000 billion, I mean, trillion, it’s a trillion dollar industry. Because people like to be greeted, people like to be treated well. And so if you look up rules of hospitality, things like that, it all is industry driven, actually. And one of the rules is if you see, it’s a 5, 10,15 rule. If somebody’s 15 feet out, you make yourself aware of their presence. If they’re 10 feet out, you kind of glance up. Maybe you break contact with other colleagues, and if they’re within 5 feet, you address them, you make eye contact. That’s for the actual hospitality industry. But they have found that in many industries, in the healthcare industry, a simple smile in making eye contact is just huge for the image that your business portrays. And so it ends up really helping your bottom line, because people like your business, because you have been hospitable, you’ve smiled. They know that there’s kindness and friendship and a welcome to that business, and it’s amazing. So if you’ve been stuck in your business, try smiling. And industries really work at trying to get their employees to smile, to use a kind voice, to be curious about the people they’re engaging with, not just concerned about themselves and the work. And again, you don’t want to be busy. Bodies are working, you don’t want to distract from the work at hand, but to incorporate a spirit of hospitality, of loving the strangers around you, both your colleagues, but then also the people that you’re dealing with, your clients. And there’s been a lot of studies about hospitable leaders, in particular, those who treat their employees in a family-like way. Again, there’s boundaries, there’s wisdom in all of that. But to retain employees this day, so many of our young people just want to be, know that, know that they’re important, they want to know that. And so a lot of workplaces are going to a family meal on Fridays, something like that. You know, just literally sitting around a table and engaging in a community that cares. Loving strangers as family. The philoxenia. It works.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Absolutely.
Annie McCune
Yeah.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
You know, and it’s interesting, I’m actually reading a book right now about the West Wing tv show. And that was something that they, they did make sure that they did that. They had, they had lunches with not just the actors, but the whole crew, and they made a point of doing that, that we all sit down and break bread together because they were all working on the same project and they wanted to create an atmosphere where they could, you know, be able to do the best job that they possibly could. So I love that. I love that you mentioned that.
Annie McCune
Yeah.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Why? I’m having an echo all of a sudden, but hopefully it will stop doing that. What is a commonly held belief about hospitality that you may passionately disagree with?
Annie McCune
Well, I think it is that sense of, I have to have a big house. I have to have new furniture or things like that. And one of my favorite stories is that true hospitality was shown to me on a park bench in France when I was a college student. And I was lost and I had no money, and it was a crazy set of things that got me there. Circumstances. But I’m sitting alone in this park, and. And there are bad people out there. This kind of creepy guy was creeping up on me, and I had nowhere to go. And I see this old woman. She’s a peasant, sitting on a bench across from me. And I get up to go over, and as I approach her, she stands up, and I don’t know if it was my facial expression, which I am not a good poker player, but it was like, please don’t leave. And she didn’t. She threw her arms around me, sat down, gave me a place on her bench, and we chatted for the next hour. And Gloria, it was the most transforming experience by the end of the time. She looked at me, she goes, oh, well, you told me your story. You don’t have any money. Are you hungry? Do you need something? And she pulled out a loaf of bread. She broke bread with me, literally. And it was just transformative. She didn’t know I was coming. She didn’t have a house. She didn’t have gourmet food. She offered hospitality to a stranger who was me at the time. Indeed. And. And I think if we would understand, there are people all around us, you know, they might be the person in the grocery line ahead of us that just need to know it’s okay to back up into your space. You know, we have these force fields around us. Our homes have these garage doors that come down and the locks on the door and, you know, but we put that around ourselves, too. And if we would get in the habit of, like, goddess, make me general of your peace or whatever, but make me someone who allows the time and space and love for someone who might meet me today and just need to know they’re loved, practice that hospitality. Love a stranger like family. And I just know it’s life changing, and I know it gets. It’s contagious if we can encourage people to do it. You come up with the most amazing stories that are true, that other people then begin to do it, because the stories we hear are, like, stranger danger. Yes. That’s the one that makes the news. But there’s a million people out there that are just lonely, that just so need someone. And they have amazing stories, you know, the whole. The immigrant people. And we have. We’ve got more afghans and curious people in our lives. And people go, whoa, aren’t you afraid? No. They are people. They are talented, wonderful people with hard stories that. That I grow and learn from. The more I listen to and.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I appreciate you sharing that. What would be one thing that somebody could do to, you know, maybe like a little baby step that someone could start doing to be able to start leaning into this practice of being more hospitable? What do you recommend?
Annie McCune
Yeah, well, first of all, I’d really like them to sit down and just. Why am I afraid? Second thing, you have to get over the fact things are going to get broken or stained or whatever. Just get over it. That is stuff. Stuff gets replaced. Stuff we love. We really. I mean, we might care about. We don’t really care about it. People need to be cared about. And so is there somebody in my peripheral vision, maybe somebody even my own house that I have not been hospitable to in a while? Is there somebody that I can break bread with this week? Make some kind of a commitment to just sit down and have a meal where you look people in the eye and you share a meal together. And I just challenge all the people in your audience to do that again. It might be, you might want to start in your own home. You might want to start. Start with one of your own relatives, but start and then work up your courage to then reach out. Get to know a neighbor, not all of them, but start with one. And it doesn’t have to be the one. Start with the one that you don’t think. You might think like, get to know somebody who doesn’t think like you. This is a great time to do it in an election year. It’s really important to know why people think like they think. And you might not change anyone’s mind, but you’ll see the humanity in them and you will understand they have a reason and that’s what makes our lives thrive.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Yeah, absolutely. And I had a lovely interview with a gentleman a few weeks back about that, about having these conversations and really having difficult conversations sometimes, but being open, it is about listening. It’s about being curious, asking questions, and then just be curious and listen. And also know that sometimes you do have to take care of yourself. And if the situation is getting heated, you don’t have to stay in that conversation. You can say, you know what, thank you. Let’s agree to disagree for now and maybe come back later, you know, because you still have to take care of yourself no matter what.
Annie McCune
Yeah.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Let’s see. What else did I want to ask you about? Oh, gosh. That went out of my head.
Annie McCune
Okay, well, quick trip. Quick, quick, you know? Yeah. Things to think about.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Yes.
Annie McCune
Keep a box of brownies, Ghirardelli brownies in the pantry. I asked my daughter in law, what have you learned about hospitality from us? She goes, you always have a box of brownies ready to go. It’s great. Everybody loves a brownie if they can’t, they still love the smell of them. And just don’t worry about the stuff. Think about blessing not impressing. I have another friend who said, think about the connection, not the perfection. And don’t be afraid. Just throw a blanket over the stuff. Pile it in a corner. Throw a blanket over the stuff. And these are things I’ve done. Put them in a laundry basket. Just don’t forget where you put it because, yeah, I’ve done that before, too. But just be real. Allow yourself to be real and get to know the real people around you.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Yes, definitely. I love that. I love that. Well, I’m going to throw a curveball at you because I like to do this to my guests once in a while. So I’m going to ask you, what are you curious about right now?
Annie McCune
Oh, my gosh, I am so curious right now. I’m curious about these super moons, which sounds kind of crazy, but just, you know, you just somehow to get out of your own little space and just go, oh, yeah, there’s moons going around us. We’re going around the sun. It’s a great big, amazing world that God created. And. And so those things, those things delight me and get me out of my little box. So I think that’s my curious for the day.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
I love it. I love it. And see, and that’s why I love asking this question, because I get all sorts of different answers. So I appreciate that. Is there anything else that I should have asked you about that I didn’t? Any other last point? I know you’ve emphasized quite a few things. Anything else?
Annie McCune
Yeah. I know a lot of your listeners and then you yourself, you know that there’s a spiritual aspect to everything. And I think to, you know, to pray, to ask God to fill you with wisdom and courage to get rid of any hatred, any preconceived prejudices. We have to get over those and just be curious about the people around you in the healthy way and in the spirit of God way, and know that, you know, it’s a good planet we’re on. It’s a good neighborhood you’re in. And there’s joy to be found.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
I love it. Awesome. Well, if someone wants to learn more about your book and or to learn more about you, where’s the best place for people to find out?
Annie McCune
Well, I do have a website, anniebooks.com, and you can always go from there. I do. I’m on LinkedIn. I have a very untended Facebook page, but I’m learning those things. I’ve heard I can learn some from you. So, yeah, those are good. And I’d be glad to. I’d love to hear from people. I want to know what their fears are. I want to know their stories, the good stories, too.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
All right. Excellent. And Annie books, for those of you listening. I will have it in the show notes, but it’s a n n i e b o o k s dot com. So just want to be sure and let you know that. So thank you so much for joining us today and enlightening us on the practice of hospitality. And you’re right, it really is about, yeah. Just getting to know people, treating them as family, because we are all, we are all one part of one big human family. So that’s why not get to know each other, right?
Annie McCune
Right. No time like the present. I know it.
Gloria “Grace” Rand
Absolutely. All right. Well, thank you again. And I also want to thank those of you who are, have been watching today. Thank you so much. And thank you for listening. If you’re listening on your favorite podcast channel, if you’re not subscribed, I hope you will make sure that you do that and leave us a comment or review. And also, same for on YouTube as well. Make sure that you hit that, like button and subscribe. And until next time, I encourage you to go out and live fully, love deeply and engage authentically.
