Imagine if you were to experience true liberation from living behind a mask, so that you were finally able to speak your truth and fully embrace who you are. How would you feel?
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Show Notes | Transcript“The armor in which you continue to place on your own being becomes that much more stifling to the true essence that we were brought into this earth of perfection in our imperfection.” – Michelle Bishop
In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with Michelle Bishop, a certified life coach and author of “Choose You First,” to explore the transformative power of self-love and authenticity. Michelle shares her inspiring journey from silent struggles to empowering others, reminding us that our stories – even the messy parts – can be exactly what someone else needs to hear.
Discover how to:
- How to break free from self-doubt and reclaim your life after adversity
- The importance of embracing your authentic self and shedding limiting beliefs
- Why choosing yourself first is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships
- Practical strategies for building inner resilience and creating a life filled with joy and purpose
Key insights include:
- The impact of childhood experiences on our ability to speak up and express ourselves
- How vulnerability and authenticity can lead to deeper, more fulfilling relationships
- The difference between self-care and true self-love
- Why small, attainable goals are essential for lasting personal transformation
Michelle also shares her personal story of overcoming grief, rediscovering her identity, and achieving remarkable physical and emotional healing. Her journey serves as a powerful reminder that it’s never too late to choose yourself and create the life you desire.
Whether you’re struggling with self-doubt, seeking to build stronger relationships, or simply looking to live more authentically, this conversation offers valuable insights and practical strategies to help you embrace your true self and thrive. Tune in to start your journey towards self-love and personal empowerment!
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Website: Bishoplife.com
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TRANSCRIPT
Gloria Grace Rand
Namaste. Are you ready to meet someone who transformed her silent struggles into a powerful mission of inspiring others? Well, I hope so, because I am about to dive into a heart to heart conversation about breaking free from self doubt and finding the courage to share your truth. And I believe it’s a journey that’s going to remind you that your story, even the messy parts, could be exactly what someone else needs to hear. But first, I do want to welcome you to live Love Engage. Especially if this is your first time finding us and listening or watching, if you happen to be watching on YouTube. I am Gloria Grace, the founder of Align to Shine Academy and I work with spiritually minded women entrepreneurs to break free from self doubt and step into their highest potential. And that’s why I really love our guests today because we are so aligned. Her name is Michelle Bishop and she is a certified life coach and author of the book choose you first. And she helps women reclaim their lives after adversity by embracing self love and building inner resilience. Again, two of my favorite subjects. And through coaching, workshops and speaking, Michelle empowers clients to shed limiting beliefs, strengthen self worth and create lives filled with joy and purpose. And I swear we must have the same website. I, I swear it, it is cracking me up so much because we’re just like simpatico here. So I want to welcome you officially, Michelle, to Live Love Engage.
Michelle Bishop
Thank you, Grace, I really appreciate it.
Gloria Grace Rand
Oh well, I, I, I just love that you are on this mission to help women love themselves. And I, I know why it’s important to me. But I’d love for you to share with our audience what, why is it important to you?
Michelle Bishop
What I have finally come to the understanding is that no one can feel your love but yourself. And people ask me, you know, why now? And I was like, well, it took almost 59 years to get here and a lot of life experience and through adversities, recognizing that no one can truly complete you unless you’re complete yourself within.
Gloria Grace Rand
I can relate to that so much through personal experience as well. So, so tell us a little bit about your journey because I know part of it was, was you, you are not able, you weren’t able to like speak up. I think for yourself as part, part of that. And so, so how did you wind up sort of reclaiming your life?
Michelle Bishop
When you say unable to speak up, that’s accurate. The title of my book is choose you first. As adults, we have the opportunity to choose the decisions and our actions throughout life. But as a child, you have truly no choice. And so when you live in adversity abuse, you learn that as being your normal as opposed to when you might be wanting to speak out, then you’re actually pushed down even further into that traps of emotional, possibly mental as well as physical abuse. And, and so you always lean towards taking the least path of resistance so you stay quiet in it. And it becomes a life pattern in so much that you do. And it often creates continued layers of mask that occur throughout the stages of, you know, infancy to even toddler to young, child to child to teenage to young adults, and then, you know, raising children, business. And as those masks continue and you do not speak up, you’re thinking everybody, you’re, you’re doing for everyone else. But in turn the armor in which you continue to place on your own being becomes that much more stifling to the true essence that we were brought into this earth of perfection in our imperfection.
Gloria Grace Rand
Oh yeah, yeah, I, I definitely, like I said I could, I can relate to that as well because for me growing up it, I really kind of quickly learned it was better to just, you know, try to be not exactly invisible, but to just, you know, kind of like, okay, I want to make sure that I don’t provoke, you know, my mom in particular and, and so let me just kind of, you know, try to be quiet and, and that, and not speak up. And yet I do know, and I might ask you, ask you about this if you found this, is that when I was away from my family, I was able to be much more of myself and could. And even in school I found myself in opportunities where I did speak up. Not all the time because I also got bullied in middle school, as I think a lot of people do, but I think especially in high school as I’m getting older. So did you find that, could you find it a little bit easier maybe outside of the family dynamic sometime to be able to speak up a little bit more?
Michelle Bishop
That’s a great question. And I was I guess born very, very filled with love and with a sweet soul and kind. And so in that I really chose not to make a lot of waves. So if that was, I went to a very small private school went which was a great experience because it was a safe environment. But those days are very different back then than they are now. So even back then, if there was any type of questioning, it didn’t occur because you didn’t speak about it. But I really internalized my own self being by creating my own world of wonderment. I, I enjoyed times that were Quiet that I was in nature, or I would see a flower even. I don’t know if you remember those. I think they call them dandelions. Like, you blow those. Yeah, you blow them as a child and just see all this, like, so, you know, it was more of a. Those were more my safe havens because I always felt like I was on the stage or had to act a certain way. My parents, well, my mother actually worked at the school as well, so that made it a lot more difficult.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah, that’s true. I could. I could definitely see that. And yeah, I, I, I think my refuge was books. I was always reading. So that way, you know, wherever, you know, in school, at home, what have you.
Michelle Bishop
So isn’t that interesting how we find our own little outlets?
Gloria Grace Rand
Absolutely. So what made the difference? What, what shifted for you? You finally decide to actually choose you, you yourself, first?
Michelle Bishop
Like I said, that is a long time coming. Actually, the deciding factor was ultimately when I was vulnerable, authentic and real. It was with the love of my life. I had met my husband, actually, in 1995, and we. He was in a marriage. I was getting ready to be married, and then was married and had two beautiful children. So we kind of drifted away. And then back in 2003, amazingly enough, when my mother had passed away, who was my abuser, I had run into him on one of the busiest days in our area, because it was fall and it’s beautiful in the Smoky Mountains. And had. He thought I’d moved back to Florida. And we reconnected and ended up getting married. And I. Before we started our relationship, I’d said, do you want to know me? The real me, not the business person, not the. The mother, not the friend, not all these little channels I put myself in, but all of me. And he’s like, absolutely. And so I was completely honest, completely vulnerable, and truly had first experienced love in its full entirety in our relationship. And then in 2019, he had a tragic accident and died. He was in a drowning accident, fell off of a yacht that. On. Off a business trip that I happened to not be with him, and drowned. And that was completely unexpected. And I had put everything into him. So when he passed away, it really took me to my core, to the point that I couldn’t breathe.
Gloria Grace Rand
Oh, yeah.
Michelle Bishop
I couldn’t. No breath. I, I just didn’t. I mean, even talking about it to this day, as people that lose people that they love so much, I mean, it really. I actually use breathing as a technique in my own life. It’s been very, very useful as A practice. And there’s a lot of wonderful benefits that occur from that. But after struggling over the last five years, I recognize that that’s not what God wanted for us. And I’m not that. That’s my belief. I am respectful and welcoming of everyone’s belief of spirituality, no matter what it is. But for me, I knew that I needed to be whole and I needed to choose me first. I had to fix all the brokenness that had come with that path and not expect someone else to just fix me because I had to choose me first. So that’s how it came about.
Gloria Grace Rand
Wow. Well, first, I’m so sorry for your loss and. And that. Yeah, I can. I can only imagine. I. I mean, I have. I’ve not lost a spouse, but, you know, I have lost a sister, but it’s still different and. And especially from, you know, because this was a much more intimate relationship that you had. And. But I guess it’s, you know, more life lessons we have to learn. Right.
Michelle Bishop
Isn’t that true, though? And shape who I am today. And I recognize I would not have had the opportunity to share and be vulnerable and authentic as the real me with everyone else. And it’s so freeing. And if. If I can coach and lead and speak and shine a light of hope to people around the world, of that it’s a moment. You will get through it. You just have to believe in yourself and also rely on the resources that you have available to you.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah.
Michelle Bishop
And a lot of people are not aware of that. So as much as I can speak the message, I want to.
Gloria Grace Rand
Very good. Well, I love that. So you. You. One of the things that I. I mentioned in. In your bio is that you. You do help. I think I mentioned this, that you help. You help your clients, you know, to shed limiting beliefs. So what’s. What’s one belief that you had to overcome yourself and that maybe now you are also helping your clients with.
Michelle Bishop
That. I was never enough. I hear that so often. And it’s such. It truly is such a sadness because I know with all of my being that we are all enough, even in our imperfections, knowing that you have to believe that in yourself. So what are those things that are holding you back? What are those rackets in the story that you’ve told yourself for all these many years? And how can we free those anchors so that you can fly the way that you should and know that you are absolutely 100% enough? And then more.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah. Yeah, I. I second that. Absolutely. Because we are. And again, this now this is my belief is that, you know, we are created in, in God’s image and certainly. And we’re really even part of it. Not, not even just created, but we’re like part of God. So if you believe, you know, whatever your beliefs are, but if you believe that God is, you know, omnipotent and, you know, and omniscient and all this, well, then we’ve got some of that too. And we are powerful creators and we can create the life we want. And, and it is about recognizing that, yeah, we’re not just enough or more than enough, frankly. So, so what would you say to someone? How, how, how would you like, give them maybe like one, one, one strategy or one tip to be able to start to something that they could do, to start reframing that and to really be able to start leaning into. Well.
Michelle Bishop
That’s, I think that it’s important to make very small pivots. Don’t jump in to like the deep end and expect. I, I really dislike when people will say, I can fix that and you’re gonna be okay. And I, I have the exact formula. We are all unique individuals. And so anybody that promises that they’ve got the answer, I would question that because the only one that has the answer is you. So when you make a small pivot by even taking a moment, whether or not you are an audio, a visual writing, do one thing, let’s just start out a week. Do something, recognize something that you did well and appreciate that within yourself. I often like to put things down in writing where, there. And I will do it in the morning where I wake up in the morning for something that I’m grateful for. I’m very goal oriented and what I’d like to achieve. And then at the end of the day, I kind of like to go back and recap and say, oh, wasn’t this great about today? And then it’s interesting because as children, often the first thing you hear about is diary. You know, you put all your little secrets in your diary. And it used to, when I was born, they used to have a little lock and yes, all the secrets up. I say keep it unlocked, be joyful in it and you know, just make a, make a move, make one move. Don’t try to say, I’m going to do this every single day. Make a attainable goal of difference and your goal is different than my goal and, and be respectful of that for yourself. Give yourself that grace.
Gloria Grace Rand
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I 100% agree with that. And especially about the baby steps and I love. And I love that, you know, point that you made, too, about if someone says that, you know, they’ve got the solution, it’s like, well, maybe. But that doesn’t necessarily still mean it’s going to be right for you because as you said, we are all different and we all react in different ways and we all have. We all come with our own stuff. And so we’re going to have to unpack that a little bit.
Michelle Bishop
Grace, isn’t that wonderful, though, in our own uniqueness? Just. Just recognizing that.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah.
Michelle Bishop
There is not a. Now, I’m not saying that people don’t offer great resources and.
Gloria Grace Rand
Oh, yeah.
Michelle Bishop
But as you said, to unpack what works for someone may not work for another. And so to be engaged with others of like mine in a safe environment is always important. And sometimes that safe environment is just within yourself.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah, that’s true.
Michelle Bishop
And that’s just one step, you know, just one step and then take that chance.
Gloria Grace Rand
Right.
Michelle Bishop
This may not happen. You know, you might meet a person, you might meet a friend, you might go to a coach, a therapist, just make a choice for you that works for you with no judgment, right?
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah, absolutely. Because you may have to try different things and you may have to work with different people. And. And the other point is that you might find success with one person and. And you are able to do stuff, and then life happens and then you realize that, oh, darn, I thought I have this handled, and I don’t. And then you might have to go find somebody else and pivot to some. Somebody else. And we are constantly on a journey, a growth journey, and we’re always unpacking things. And so that’s why you do have to. And one other thing you mentioned, I loved about writing down. Writing down things important. And I know we have a lot of entrepreneurs, I think, who watch the show. And so that’s why I always encourage my clients, if you’re a business owner, to keep track of those testimonials and maybe put them in not only maybe on your website or wherever, but also maybe keep them in a journal so that when you have. Have those days, because we all have them where we do feel a little, you know, down in the dumps or we’re doubting ourselves a little bit, then you can go back and read and go, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that’s right. I did help them with that. Oh, yeah, they. They were really happy with that. Oh, cool. Well, I am all right, aren’t I?
Michelle Bishop
I know, Seriously. And it’s funny that you say that. Because we are all flawed as well. And, and that’s, that’s, that’s great as well. I mean it’s so in that in those moments of doubt to have affirmations that are from others, it is really a positive thing in encouraging you to just make that next step and journey of being the best you can be. And that’s what I say. Live your best you.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah, absolutely. Because it is different from everybody else’s. So I want to ask you about this because I know I’ve run into this and there’s even like articles about this thing. So how do you help your clients distinguish between self love and what a lot of times societies just deem self care.
Michelle Bishop
Very interesting about that. Sometimes in self love you can do all the care outside that you want to do and it could be healthy things for you, it could be good things for you, but that is just not anything like self love. When you take the moments inside yourself and take a breath in, in. And take that energy in and recognize the good in what you’re doing for yourself, for others, in the moment, for the earth, whatever that may be. Those are things nurturing your self love. Because all the self care is important because without our health, mental and physical, we have nothing. So those things of self care are very important, but they’re only what I would consider basically conduits to really what is important, which I think is in the heart and within the soul of energy of self love.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah, yeah. It’s. It’s like self care is something you do, but. But self love is. It is still something you do, but it’s almost more of a state of being. It’s being exactly recognized. Yeah, yeah. So cool talking, talking about self love. But is there a maybe a commonly held belief about self love that you disagree with?
Michelle Bishop
Oh yes, there is.
Gloria Grace Rand
Do tell.
Michelle Bishop
It’s kind of like the. The name of my book is choose you first and that that thought process of self love, it’s interesting because it often can be considered selfish and people really have to recognize that that selfishness is once again part of a being, not self love. They are two different things and one is very different from the other. And I find that people feel as if they’re taking time out to choosing them first to living their best. You that it can be misconstrued right off the bat because of our society and preconceived thought processes often driven by media or other individuals that have nothing to do with you as a person. That it is selfish and it is far from Selfish. Because if you don’t take care of you in that self love, then it makes it impossible to give all of what you can to the people that you love most. And that is your family, your friends, your children, your spouse, the world. And so, so those are things that I really disagree with. And, and I hear often how, well that’s selfish. And I’m like, is it. Let’s, let’s unpack that.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah, exactly. And, and I still trying to remember where I heard this first. It might have been from Esther Hicks and Abraham that I, I think when they talked about how when someone accuses you of self of being selfish, it’s because you’re not doing what they want you to do, which really means that they’re the ones being selfish, aren’t they? True.
Michelle Bishop
I love that. Well, and, and there’s. It is even more than being potentially selfish themselves, it. It can lead itself to a lot of other negative patterns of manipulation as well as controlling and narcissistic behaviors and bad codependent relationships. So there’s a string of things that go along with that. But again, it’s so important that we work on ourselves and are solid within that, that we can nurture and recognize those red flags. Because I lived a lifetime with the red flags flowing at me.
Gloria Grace Rand
Oh, I know.
Michelle Bishop
I mean, it came at me always. So I mean, it just, it’s. I’m a very different person and I’m truly who I was meant to be, as our creator did in the very, very beginning at this time in my life. And I’m so grateful. I mean, beyond grateful or for the people that I get to engage with. I learn every day from, from other people. And so just by sharing and being open and taking the light out of the closet and say, why aren’t we talking about this? How is that fixing that problem? We’re all human. We all have issues. They’re different issues. I may have been through a few more than others. Gives me more of a forum to talk about.
Gloria Grace Rand
Oh yeah, absolutely. What would you say has been. Or maybe, maybe even what was sort of the first. We’ll do it this way. How about what was like the first benefit that you really recognized once you were able to start truly loving yourself and choosing yourself first?
Michelle Bishop
If you remember, the first benefit truly was to not feel lost. I. I mean, it’s just amazing living a life lost and to have found myself. That was the first benefit and how easy it was that and that. And it’s a huge benefit in a very small period of time. I Mean, it’s like, oh, wow, how easy is this? It’s like, this is who I am.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah, well, you know, I’m. I’m thinking, though, someone is. Might be listening to this going, well, how do I know I’m lost, though? You know, it’s like, what. What does that look like? Because I. Because I’m just thinking, I know, I know, and I can relate to it. But. But maybe for someone out there who may not even realize yet that they’re experiencing that.
Michelle Bishop
That’s a great question. I think that a lot of people don’t recognize that they’re lost because our lives are so busy and they’re packed and we fill them with activity and doing for others. It happens all the time. But I think you’ll recognize being lost in feelings of anxiousness, having anxiety, feeling anger, feeling sadness, feeling overwhelmed, doubt, questioning, continually questioning in the moment, just where you’re at, you know, oh, my gosh, you know, I’ve got to get John to soccer practice, and Lisa has to go to ballet practice. And I’m one person. How can I be. So the plate is overflowing, but if one is not lost, they’re able to manage that a lot better in making the plate not quite overflow as much, but actually make the plate bigger. So that’s. That’s how I would describe a great way of recognizing that you’re lost. But I will also say that in those feelings, they can actually manifest themselves into illness.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah.
Michelle Bishop
And so there’s. There’s a lot of things that we ignore all the time. And if we just take a moment and listen, we get to choose.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Our body is really great at communicating to us. When, When. When the inside, like. And I do, and I mean, like, the soul and the emotions are not happy, then it will start to manifest in. In the body as well. And I think, and I’ll just share this from my experience, I think the other way sometimes being lost manifest is feeling, like, stuck. You know, you’re not sure. It’s like you. You want to go this way, but maybe, but. But something is wanting you to go that way, and then you wind up confused, which is, I think is another one is. Is like, you know, I. I don’t know which way to go, and it’s. And, yeah, it’s. And. And that kind of is the definition of lost, isn’t it? Sometimes, you know, when you don’t know where to go.
Michelle Bishop
Yeah, absolutely. That’s a great point. And. And in that lost journey, often we will befriend the wrong group of people and, and that just drives us further down the rabbit hole. And so I, I think your point is very well taken.
Gloria Grace Rand
I appreciate that. And I’m gonna, I’m gonna shift gears here because we’re starting to wind down a little bit. But I’d love to be able to ask our, our guests this question and see what they have to say about it. So what are you curious about right now?
Michelle Bishop
It’s interesting that you asked that question because I’m curious about where the journey will take me in my next steps. I am so excited to having and to get the opportunity to help others, to. To see in that journey, because a journey is not a destination. I am, I’m curious about how this journey is going to lead, and I am doing it very organically. I am doing it with no, no expectations. I am doing it just as it’s supposed to be and letting it. Let it happen. And it leaves me curious all the time and, and very excited.
Gloria Grace Rand
Well, yeah, I like that. And it is interesting. We. We live in interesting times, and it is sometimes more challenging than others. But I think if we can keep an open mind and an open heart and just be curious, I think it’s a. It’s a great way to be. Is there anything else that I should have asked you, but I didn’t. Any other last point you want to leave our audience with today?
Michelle Bishop
We didn’t really get an opportunity to talk about the physical manifestations that it can occur from not choosing.
Gloria Grace Rand
That’s true. Okay. Yeah.
Michelle Bishop
Yeah. I’d love to share with. With everyone that over this, this journey over the last five years and maybe over. More importantly, maybe over the last two or three two years, I’m five foot tall, so I’m a little person. And I was at a top weight of 212 pounds, and I have lost over 100 pounds. And everybody asked me how. How that happened. And you know, it also was a journey, but I really see it as it unmasking itself through all of the past and being free to be able to be essentially who I am in my best health. And I am a breast cancer survivor. I’m also, I was on like, the highest level of blood pressure medicine. So all of those things through my lifetime did manifest itself physically and without, again, your physical and mental health, you have nothing. And it wasn’t that it was this difficult, like I said, small pivots of movement and being grateful in those moments and proud of yourself and reinforcing yourself to say, hey, you’ve Got this. Because others are there to support you, too, that I want them to know, all of the listeners, that it’s all bundled in as our own selves. And so this is the true, authentic me. And as a small child, I was a very small child, and I had gained all that weight through all the trials and tribulations of life. And I’m truly happy that I have gotten this opportunity in life to be able to be freed from those. Those chains and that armor. And it is possible, and anything is possible if you do make that choice, to choose you first.
Gloria Grace Rand
My goodness. So, yes. First off, though, I want to congratulate you on thriving past breast cancer. And isn’t it interesting, though, that that was the cancer, because I was. I think I was talking with someone else recently that again, you know, that’s kind of, you know, if you have that before you started really embracing your own self and loving yourself and. See, and that’s where cancer manifests, right near the heart. And so it’s good that you’ve learned how to do that. And the weight issue, Well, I can relate to that as well because. Yeah, I mean, one. One of the things that I had noted down in my diary was, like, how much I weighed, and it was, like, really kind of heavy for the age that I was. And. And weight has been something that I have been dealing with all my life. I do think finally now I have actually figured out how to eat. And. And I’m still on my. I’m still on my journey. I have a little ways to go yet, but I feel so much better than did last fall when I was much heavier. And so it’s. Yeah, like I said, we’re like. We’re like sisters from another mother or something. And it is.
Michelle Bishop
It’s. It’s a journey and it’s a lifestyle. I mean, it is all. It’s all linked. It’s all linked. And heck, you know, I might waver a little bit up, too. We don’t know. I have. I don’t have a crystal ball, but I just want to be the best me I can be. And I want everyone else to live their best them. And so I want to be a conduit to bringing all the resources together so that people get that choice and they’re informed and they know that the end of the opportunity to have the journey isn’t the destination, it’s the joy in the journey.
Gloria Grace Rand
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Oh, this is so good. And I know that there are people listening to this or are. Have resonated with you and want to be able to connect with you. So where is the best place that people can do that?
Michelle Bishop
I have a website and it is BishopLife.com and it’s probably the best way to connect because it has all my social media and I have blogs and when I do summits and do podcasts, like this wonderful one with Gloria, I’ll have it posted on there as well so we can build a community together as one.
Gloria Grace Rand
All right, excellent. Well, I will be sure and have that in the show notes for folks who are listening to this on their favorite podcast platform. So thank you so much for being with us today and being with me today.
Michelle Bishop
Honor. I’ve so enjoyed all of it. Thank you.
Gloria Grace Rand
Oh, me too. And I want hope everyone out there does take advantage and contacts you, gets in touch with you. And I do want to go this way. And there we go. Hit the wrong button, but that’s okay.
Michelle Bishop
Don’t forget about my book, too.
Gloria Grace Rand
That’s right. Yeah, absolutely. There we go.
Michelle Bishop
It’s a good start.
Gloria Grace Rand
Yes, yes. In fact, I’ll do it. There we go. I’m just. Okay, I’m, I’m playing today. So there we go. We’re being, we’re, we’re just experimenting with Streamyard. And anyway, so thank you all for listening and for watching today. And I think, yeah, I think make sure that you’re subscribed on YouTube, podcast, Apple, Spotify, where have you. And until next time, as always, I encourage you to go out and live fully, love deeply and engage authentically.