Welcome: Celebrating Freedom for Women in Midlife
Gloria: Namaste. Last week on the podcast, I talked about declaring independence from what’s holding women over 50 back from leading a fulfilling life. Things like people pleasing or settling or being treated as if you’re invisible. Well, today we’re going to focus on what you are free to create instead. And the inspiration for this week’s episode came from Unity’s July 4 Daily Word, which was freedom. And the affirmation is, I celebrate my freedom to create my life.
When I read that, I just thought, well, yeah, of course, that is the perfect topic for design your life your way, this podcast. So I want to share with you the message, the actual full reading from it, because I think we’re. Then we’re going to unpack it because there’s a lot of good stuff in here that is really applicable for women in midlife as we are. So it says, in God, I am free as a bird soaring in a wide open sky full of possibility. In that sacred expanse, I find an invitation to express my most authentic self, fully human and fully divine. The spirit of God within releases me from my burdens and fears. Made in God’s image and likeness. I have the power to create my life’s experience and the freedom to choose the how I think, feel and act. I can let go of limiting beliefs and lean into the truth of who I am. I affirm I am divine.
As I take those words deep in my heart, I feel an opening within me. Lightness replaces heaviness as faith loosens my shackles of fear and hesitancy. I am free to live, love and create my life anew or design. Haha. As I would like to say, so.
Yeah, isn’t that lovely? I just thought that was just the most wonderful, wonderful message for Independence Day, which we were celebrating here in the United States last week. So let’s start with. I want to focus on a few of these different phrases and really dive into how we can apply that in our own life right now. So let’s start with.
What “Free as a Bird” Really Means in Midlife
Gloria: It says, you know, in God, I’m as free as a bird soaring in a wide open sky full of possibility. So what does that mean? Well, it’s. The promise of this podcast is that you are in charge of deciding what you want your life to look like at this stage. Do you want to continue in whatever professional capacity you’re in, or personal capacity for that matter?
Do you want to, you know, stay in the relationship you’re in? Do you want to stay in the job or the business you’re in? Do you want to do Something different. Do you want to shake things up? Do you want to start creating something?
Do you want to go back and revisit perhaps an old dream that you had when you were younger, maybe not Even in your 20s, maybe some childhood dream that you had? Do you want to take this time as an opportunity to start doing, to giving back? You know, really, I know a lot of people start really thinking about what is the legacy that I want to leave behind. And so maybe it’s writing that book or maybe it’s volunteering for a cause that is near and dear to your heart. And if you have more time right now, you know, let’s say that now you are an empty nester.
Letting Go of Empty Nest Guilt and Family Expectations
Gloria: So you’re not having to spend as much time worrying about the kids. Although, you know, as they’re adults, if you’re a parent out there, you know, like me, we still worry about our kids no matter how old they are. I know my mom used to do that for me, you know, and she used to say that, you know, no matter how old you are, you’re still my baby, Gloria, you know, and I, and I was the, I was the caboose. I was the third child in our family. So you’re going to care about your kids no matter how old they are.
And at this stage of life, you don’t have to be quite as involved in their lives. And I’m sure they really don’t want you to be necessarily quite involved in, in their lives because they’re trying to get their life going. And if you.
I read sometimes I, I participate in different groups for women over 50 on Facebook. And I’ll see, you know, women complaining that, you know, their kids aren’t spending as much time with them. And we have to remember to think back when you were in your 20s, did you really want to spend a lot of time with your parents necessarily? I mean, sometimes, you know, sometimes it’s great, but sometimes it’s like you’re busy with your own friends, you’re busy with your own life, and you don’t always have time to, to pick up the phone and text mom. I know, it’s not really calling anymore, right?
In my day it was calling. Now it’s just texting. But anyway, I’m getting off track here. You get my point. It’s like you have, you have the time, you have the ability to choose what you want your life to look like right now.
A Preview: Embracing Your Divinity in the L.O.V.E. Method
Gloria: And, and the other part of this reading, which I thought was cool, was that they also reminded us about the fact that we are fully human and fully divine. And I’m going to go into more detail about this in two weeks because I’m going to be finishing up this, basically a four month dive into the love method, which is something that we was downloaded to me and, and the E in love, because love is an acronym. The E stands for express your divinity. Embrace your divinity. Ah, that’s interesting that I said express. Hmm, Freudian slip. It is. Embrace your divinity.
That’s interesting. Well, maybe we’ll talk about embracing and then expressing it, but in, in two weeks, so tune in for that because I’m going to go into more detail. But it’s. For now, consider the fact that you don’t have to choose between being spiritual and being strong or capable. You can be both because you are both.
You are you, you are. This is my belief. And again, you know, all of these things take it with a grain of salt, you know, take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. But I, like a lot of people, believe that we are spiritual beings having a human existence.
So we are both fully human and fully divine. And that’s pretty cool. So it really gives you a lot of power to create your life, to design your life your way. Excuse me, take a quick sip of water here.
How Fear Keeps Women Over 50 Stuck
Gloria: The other part of this it talked about where it says lightness replaces heaviness as faith loosens my shackles of fear and hesitancy.
Fear, Ah, false evidence appearing real, as they say. Well, fear is a big reason why many of us perhaps are hesitant to design our life where we engage in the behaviors I talked about last week about people pleasing or settling because we’re afraid to step out on our own. We’re afraid to speak our truth. We’re afraid to get out of a relationship because we’re not quite sure how we can manage on our own for a variety of reasons. Maybe it is financially, maybe it’s just emotionally.
My Mother’s Story: Staying Too Long Out of Fear
Gloria: I talked about last week. I shared the story about my mom who really, well, she stayed in. She stayed married to my father for too long. I mean, he’s, he was an alcoholic. But one way she found to cope with that was she.
She did go out into the workplace. So she found some fulfillment there by, you know, having her own career. But then she eventually did divorce my dad and then she wound up getting married again. And unfortunately, she didn’t really learn enough lessons about how to love herself enough. Really?
Yeah, yeah, she didn’t really learn how to love herself because if she had, she wouldn’t have stayed married to this other gentleman. You know, he was, he was a nice, nice man, but they weren’t right for each other. And she wound up staying married to him longer than she should have. Well, she stayed married to him basically until she passed because she was afraid she couldn’t support herself, that she didn’t have enough money to live on her own. And she, you know, he provided a nice comfortable house to live in and not sure what their financial relationship was, you know, how much he paid for things and what she paid for, but for whatever reason, she felt more comfortable staying there.
And, and, you know, that’s, that’s, that’s kind of what happens sometimes is that we’re, you know, we get afraid of change and, and so we settle for things that might be making us a bit uncomfortable because it’s more comfortable than the being uncomfortable with something different and taking action.
Choosing Faith Over Fear in Midlife
Gloria: So that’s where faith comes in, though. You know, it does, it says faith. Faith loosens my shackles of fear. So.
Half having faith not only in yourself, but putting your faith in a higher power and, and giving it up to God and saying, okay, I don’t know how this situation is going to resolve itself, but I’m going to start taking steps to resolve it. And I am going to put my faith in Source, Creator, universe, God, whatever word you want to use, my higher self. You know, if you’re completely agnostic, I think is the right term.
I’m going to put my faith that the ideas will come to me, solutions will come to me, people may come to me that will help me in my desire to achieve the life I want. So I’m going to trust that. I’m going to see about letting go of those fears in order to do that.
Finding the Root of Your Fear: A Midlife Self-Discovery Practice
Gloria: Now, I want to go a little deeper here, though, because sometimes, sometimes fears are obvious.
And a lot of times, though, they’re not. I would say because we might have a superficial fear, but it’s not necessarily the real core fear.
So in order to face it, you’ve got to identify it. So one way is to look at the situations or tasks that you’re avoiding. Those are going to give you a clue right there. So, for instance, if you frequently procrastinate, or let’s say you avoid certain social gatherings, you’re not going to start asking yourself why? Because thinking that, oh, I’m just an introvert, that’s why I don’t do that, it might be masking deeper fears of rejection, failure, or inadequacy.
So it helps to start really doing some introspection on yourself to really help you to get clear. So, for instance, let’s say that you, you have a scenario that really starts bringing up some fear, some nervousness, some anxiety, some stress, frankly.
Once you have that in mind, now ask yourself, what are you really, really afraid of in that moment?
And once you, once you have that, ask yourself, okay, well, if that happens, what is the worst possible outcome?
And so you come up with something and then say, okay, well, if that happens, then what’s the worst thing that could happen with that? And just keep asking, what’s the worst, what’s the worst, what’s the worst? Until you get to the core emotional root. So it could be your real fear is being alone, or maybe it’s that you’re not going to be loved or that you, you just are feeling powerless in whatever situation you’re in.
Getting to the root is really what’s going to help you to then be able to address it and move forward.
So before I talk about what to do next, I thought this might be a good time for me to help you out with a modality to perhaps help you to, to when you’re doing this work. Because sometimes it still can be. You can say like, oh, yeah, what’s the worst? And then you’re like, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. Because again, part of that is sometimes the, the, your ego gets in the way because it’s trying to protect you.
And so it doesn’t want to bring up the fear. It doesn’t want you to face that fear because it’s trying to protect you. Not knowing that.
Facing the fear is how you can get to the other side of it. It’s how you can learn to then make friends with it, embrace it, and, and, and, and calm that inner child within you and say, you know what, I’ve got you, but I’m getting ahead of myself. What I want to do is share my, my wonderful modality that I’d love to share. That’s called light language. And it’s a type of sound healing modality that’s, that comes through my voice that I will share.
A Light Language Healing Transmission for Releasing Fear
Gloria: And it’s something that you’re not going to necessarily be able to translate it. Don’t worry about that. It’s not for your head, your logical left brain to understand. It’s more for the right brain. It’s a right brain modality and it speaks to the heart and the soul.
And so if it’s, if it’s safe for you to listen to this right now without being disturbed and, and you’re not driving or anything like that. I invite you to close your eyes and set an intention that what you are going to receive today through my voice will allow you to gain some clarity on whatever is, might possibly be causing you some fear that might be keeping you from designing your life your way. And that is, you know, possibly keeping you stuck and stressed and anxious or just to, frankly, if you know what it is, to help you to start releasing that fear.
So I’m going to take a drink of water and then I’m going to set that intention as well for you as well as for myself and essentially know that whatever comes through, if, let’s say you’re not dealing with any fear right now for whatever else you need for it, that the message you receive will be for your soul’s highest good and the highest good of all concerns. So that’s, that’s what I’m going to be asking for.
[Audio transmission only]
Gloria: Ah. I hope you hope you receive that with the love that was intended for you. And if you’d ever like to have a personal session with me, I do offer a complimentary 15 minute session where we can work specifically on whatever issues you have because these are. I, I love sharing this with the podcast, my audience out there, all of you out there, and it’s really powerful when we can work one on one over zoom. And I can really address your specific issue.
So I encourage you to take advantage of that. I’ll have the link in the show notes and if you’re watching this on YouTube or New Reality TV, you’ll see the link there as well. So. Yeah, check it out. Hey, it’s.
It’s free. You know, I don’t know about you, but I love free things. So I hope you will take advantage of that. Okay, I’m gonna take one more drink of water. I’m very thirsty today.
I don’t know why.
Okay, so. Okay, so now that we’ve.
My intention with the light language is to. Not necessarily today, but maybe in the days to come you’ll, you’ll gain some clarity or when you do this exercise, maybe looking at perhaps what might be keeping you from designing your life your way, that now I want you to remember that line in the reading where it said, made in God’s image and likeness. I have the power to create my life’s experience and the freedom to choose how to think, to feel and act.
Practical Steps: What to Do With Your Core Fear
Gloria: So does this look like in practical terms? Well, let’s say your core emotional fear is Being alone.
So now you can take some time, maybe just on your own first, or maybe enlist a good friend to brainstorm ways to address that. So maybe it is making plans to call a friend and, you know, make a date to meet for coffee or go to the movies or, you know, do something fun together. Maybe it’s reaching out to a family member, maybe someone you haven’t talked to in a while, which is making me think of something. I haven’t, haven’t heard from my cousin in a long time. Maybe I should reach out to him this weekend and see how he’s doing.
Maybe it’s joining a group, you know, some. A group that’s related to maybe a hobby that you’re in or just a cause, you know, we talked about earlier this episode about maybe some type of cause that you’re interested in. Maybe it’s the environment, maybe it’s your neighborhood, city, you know, attending city council meetings, what, what have you. But the point is, you get to decide.
You don’t have to be alone if you don’t want to be. And if you do want to be alone, there’s nothing wrong with that either you can still have a fulfilling life. Whether you are living with someone or you’re not living with someone, it’s okay.
Why You Are More Resilient Than You Think
Gloria: And even when you’re faced with challenges, like, say, a relationship ending, perhaps, or losing a loved one, or we’re becoming an empty nester, you also get to decide how you want to handle these things, how to handle these challenges, because you are resilient. I know sometimes we may not necessarily think of ourselves as being resilient. That might not be the top characteristic or trait that you think of when you describe yourself, but I guarantee you you are.
Because if you’re alive, you face difficult circumstances your whole life. Even kids face difficult circumstances when they’re a kid. You know, when you, when you’re a child, it was maybe your parents telling you no when you wanted something. In fact, I was at. I was at the store the other day, and a father and his little girl were leaving the grocery store, and she was not happy because daddy didn’t get her what she wanted and she was complaining about it.
So that was a challenge for her, you know, to have to deal with. But we’ve all had challenges our whole lives. And somehow if you’re still breathing and you’re listening to this podcast today, you know what you’ve survived. You are resilient. You made it through.
Oh, wow. I just thought of it. Oh, my goodness. I know. I’m Showing my age here today, but I just remembered a Barry Manilow song.
When I was in high school, I was a Barry Manilow fan, okay? He had a bunch of his albums. And there was this one line, it was like, you made it through the rain. So, yes, you did. You made it through the rain.
Doesn’t necessarily mean it was an easy way to get through it. You might have gotten through it kicking and screaming and crying and yelling. And you know what?
You still did it. You got through. Somehow. We always seem to manage to find a way. And I think that’s the wonderful thing about being human, is that no matter how many curveballs life throws at us, and life likes to throw them at us.
I don’t know anybody in this life who has led a perfect life. Even if you had a really great childhood, I still bet you you still went through some type of challenge. Whether you were bullied or whether you had a teacher who didn’t like you for whatever reason or. Or you had a crush on somebody and they didn’t respond to your crush. Heartbreaking.
You know, when you’re. When you’re a pre teen or a teenager, but you still got through. And frankly, this is the thing I want, you know, talked about. Sometimes you do it kicking and screaming to get through.
I find that those challenges are the ones that when you do get through them, Doesn’t it feel good? It’s all the sweeter when you get through the other side and you’re like, oh, my God, that was horrendous. But I got through. Wasn’t fun. It was torture.
But I got through it.
Because they really are. I think those are those challenges that are the real big ones. They’re what build character. They’re what strengthen your resilience muscle so that the next time something else comes along that threatens to really knock you off your game, you’re going to be like, how am I going to get through this? How am I going to get through this?
Turning Survival Into a Resilience Journal
Gloria: And what’s occurring to me right now, oh, I think this is a great idea. In fact, I might do this for myself as well. I know I’ve talked in the past about keeping track of, like, testimonials of your own business, you know, or to remind yourself that you have value. I would say make a journal about all the challenges that you faced and, and what happened after.
Because when the next challenge comes your way, you’re going to be like, how am I ever going to get through this? And then you can pick up this book and say, oh, God, this happened. To me, and I survived that. Oh, gosh, that happened me. And I did this, or I got.
I asked for help and they gave me help, and I was able to get through it. So. Yeah, write down what you did to get through the challenges.
Yeah. And. And keep that somewhere where you can pull it out, because, yeah, life is going to kick you again.
You Are Not Alone: Faith, Support, and Getting Through Hard Seasons
Gloria: I. I know other people have talked about this, and. And I think sometimes that this is why we came here, is that think of it as earth, as school, and that you come here to learn lessons. And so that’s why crappy things happen sometimes to teach us lessons. And it can be really annoying going through them in the middle of it. I don’t deny that.
But coming through the other side, knowing that you can survive it and knowing that you did survive all these other things in the past, I think should give you some confidence that you can’t face it. You know, people go through horrendous things in their life and. And I gotta say, all of the challenges I’ve done, I’ve gotten through pale in comparison to other people that I’ve heard other stories, you know. You know, someone who, like, lost their house in a fire, someone whose child died. You know, like my own mom, you know, she lost her.
Her oldest son. You know, parents are supposed to die before their children, and I saw what that did to her, even though he was an adult. The parents who lose children when they’re little, I. I can’t even imagine the heartbreak that brings you. And yet they go on.
God is with you. I. I believe this spe. You know, sometimes they say God doesn’t give you a challenge, you know, that you’re not up to, you know, handle. And, you know, it’s kind of a trite saying, but there is some truth to that, because when you can have that faith again in. In a higher power, or just find that p. Faith within yourself to know that you can do it, you can survive, you can get through this.
Sometimes it just takes just getting through one. One day or maybe just one hour or just one minute, and just take it one step at a time. And also know that if you’re going through something really, really, really challenging, please ask for help. Don’t think you have to go through it alone. Yes, yes.
You have your higher self to help you. And God gave us other resources. There are other. There are organizations, there are people. They represent ways that God can work through our life.
So we’re not just sitting in our house by ourselves trying to figure out a way to do this? No, it’s reaching out to other people, knowing that there are resources out there so that you don’t have to go through it alone.
Okay. Huh. I think I, I’ll step off my soapbox now. If you’re younger than 50, Google it. Okay.
It’s an old term. Predates me. I know. It’s like, I mean, we’re talking, I think this is a term from the 19th century that carries through. Oh my gosh, we’re in the 21st century.
I know, we’re, we’re already a quarter of the way through the 20s. 20, you know, up to 2100, but. Oh, God, it’s mind boggling. Anyway. Okay.
Freedom Is a Gift: Choosing How You Show Up Each Day
Gloria: I hope you realize what a gift freedom is for you no matter where you live. And, and I know I’m, I’m blessed to know that there are people listening to this podcast in many countries around the world.
And I’m not talking about, you know, freedom, you know, that a political system has over you. We still have individual freedom. You have sovereignty over yourself. And that means that you have the freedom to decide how you want you live, to live your life in every moment of every day. I mean, that is a gift.
That is a gift that you have this wonderful brain, you have this wonderful heart, you have this amazing soul. So love them, appreciate them. And as I said, we’re going to talk about this some more in two weeks, but next week you can still join. I hope you will come in and back and listen to the podcast because I’ve got a delightful guest on the, on the podcast. Her name is Deborah Mallow and she is the author of Six Steps to Fewer Days that Suck.
Next Week on Design Your Life, Your Way: Guest Deborah Mallow
Gloria: I love that title. So her story is that she was experiencing burnout as a top ranked biotech sales rep and she saw the writing on the wall and it was not good. And so she came up with some practical tools to help herself and now to help others build more resilience like we talked about today, to have, create more self kindness for yourself and joy in everyday life. And so I hope that you, if you’re not subscribed already, that you will subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you’re listening or watching to this so that you don’t miss this interview because it was a delight. She, she is, she just lights up the screen and I, I really, I just enjoyed it so much.
So please come back next week for that. And until then, I, I hope you will go out today and every day and live boldly and on purpose. It.
