Completing Cycles of Action with Carol Pilkington

In this episode, we’re joined by Carol Pilkington to talk about the importance of being intentional—especially when it comes to completing tasks or managing relationships. Carol is a spiritual teacher and minister with over 30 years of metaphysical practice and training experience.

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On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:

• Why Carol says she came into the world with a calling.
• The experience Carol had as a child that shaped her future.
• How communication is actually a creative process.
• The type of astrology Carol specializes in and what it helps you discover.
• What motivated Carol to pursue becoming a minister.
• What is at the core of every esoteric teaching.
• Why completing cycles of action is important (and what happens when you don’t).
• How being intentional in your relationships helps you feel complete.
• Why it’s important to be aware of how a person is receiving you.
• What happens when you trust the flow of a conversation.
• Why Carol had to instruct someone to reduce their use of exclamations.
• The type of clients Carol truly enjoys attracting.
• What Carol loves about the work she does.
• How the majority of people feel they don’t matter, and why they actually do.
• How what we put out into the world is mirrored back to us.
• Why Carol used to be afraid of the unknown and how she overcame this.

Website: https://carolpilkington.com/
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Creating Joyful Relationships Course:

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TRANSCRIPT

You’re listening to the lived love engage podcast on today’s show the importance of being intentional when it comes to completing projects, tasks, or managing relationships. Stay tuned. I am Gloria Grace Rand, founder of the love method and author of the number one, Amazon Best seller live. Love. Engage. how to stop doubting yourself and start being yourself.

In this podcast, we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to live fully love, deeply and engage authentically. So you can create a life and business with more. Influence and income. Welcome to live love engage.

Namaste and welcome to another addition of live love. Engage. One of my favorite Types of episodes is when I get to interview people. And I have a lovely guest on the program who, I know her through a, a networking group that we both belong to, the women’s prosperity network, and I am delighted to welcome this lovely woman to live love engage today. Her name is Carol Pilkington.

So welcome to the show, Carol. Thank you so much. It’s a pleasure to be here, Gloria. I appreciate you and the opportunity. Wow. Yeah, I’m intrigued. When, when you, how the, the process goes for getting on the show. For those of you who may wonder, I ha I have a form to fill out and, and a topic that Carol put down there really intrigued me.

So, but we’re gonna get to that in a minute, but first I need to explain to you, those of you who were listening and those of you watching on YouTube, just who Carol is. So she is a spiritual teacher and minister with over 30 years of metaphysical practice and training experience. And she takes her students on a path to a deeper understanding and self-awareness of who they really are, regardless of one’s faith, religion, or spiritual background, and helps them discover answers through a combination of contemplation and inquiry and allows them to live life on their own terms as their own authority.

And that fits in with our theme of our show because yeah, I’m all about helping people to live fully. That’s where the live in live love engage comes from. So I, I love that you’re doing that. And I like to start the show usually by asking our guests a little bit about their journey. So how did you get to where you are today?

What, what, prompted you to become interested in, I guess, in, in metaphysics and spirituality and to become a minister of all things as well. You know, I, I think it’s something that I came into the world as, you know, I had a, I felt like I had a calling from a very young age. I had a, an experience when I was around eight or nine, maybe 10 about having or being more than just this body and this personality called Carol.

And that I was connected to something bigger than what we know in the physical realm and that the physical and the non-physical are interconnected. They’re netted. and they are not really separate. I felt deeply, I had a, an experience of that at a very core level that I was part of the, a larger, whole, if you will.

Because I, I feel and have experience that there are wholes within wholes and we as individuals are whole. Unto ourselves and that we are each whole, a whole. H… I’m W H O L E. Yeah. I was gonna say, yeah, we should probably make sure that people are thinking, wait a minute, I don’t wanna be thinking of myself as like a hole on the ground.

Right? So thank you for clarifying. Absolutely. I, I had that intuitive message coming through that. I needed to clarify which hole I meant. English language. Oh, I tell you I know our language is very functional, you know, and we have to be sometimes very precise, but also be metaphorical as well.

So it’s, it’s a kind of, creative process to be able to communicate with one another so that we understand one another and that we’re received the way we want to be received, right? Yes. Yes. So that’s been my part of my journey. So, you know, life took over, I went the usual corporate route and I was not especially happy because I felt that there was something deeper within me that I needed to.

Be able to express, but still didn’t know how to. And so I was in the corporate world for 30 years and by the time I was ready to leave, I went on my own deeper journey of discovering who I am and raising my own consciousness. To a place where I felt that I needed to give back what I had learned and experienced.

And so that’s what led me to where I am today. I started out doing, astrology. I’m still an astrology transpersonal astrologer. And what that means is that I come from, a human level. That using astrology helps one to discover that they are more than just the body, that they are more than just, you know, here to, exist, simply exist, but there’s more to us than that.

I like that. Yeah. And then it took me off until all these other realms of spirituality and helping people on their own transformational… So what prompted you to become a minister? It, it was something that I felt at the time was important for people to understand that spirituality was not just, a cornerstone of religion, of organized religion.

And so I wanted to be able to offer people a way to tap into their spirituality. That didn’t necessarily just resonate with the organized religion of spirituality, but that there was more to spirituality than, than that. If that’s something that did not speak to them. Right. And so. I did minister to my, to my calling because I wanted to let people know that there were all kinds of ministerings out there.

Gotcha. Gotcha. When you, you talk a about spirituality and, and, and religion, what do you feel is the maybe biggest… I don’t know if I wanna say necessarily biggest difference, but, but how, how are they, how are they, how are they different? Let’s just say that. Or, or, or are they, yeah, let’s just go there.

Well, it’s interesting because I, I actually had a conversation with, someone from a nondenominational church or actually, no, it wasn’t, it was a Christian Church and it kind of put him back on his heels when I described my sense of Christian of spirituality. And I said, spirituality is, is the nature of who we are.

And we are here to discover or rediscover if you will what and who we are as spiritual beings, spiritual entities, because that ours, our, that is our foundation for being in this human form. To my experience it’s about being here to learn lessons and discover our true nature, which is love. And at the core of every esoteric teaching, whether it’s from esoteric Christianity or any other religion, the core of our, of its teachings or disciplines is that we are love.

And that there are other ways to access that and that understanding and that knowing that isn’t from necessarily a religious place. Right. and when I said that to him, he was taken aback because he, because tr quite honestly, he recognized the arrogance. That he was carrying around being a religious entity and feeling like the religious community or structure.

Had the cornerstone on spirituality and it was a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful conversation. And we are really, we have such wonderful conversations to this day sometimes, and he’s very loving, very giving, and I was able to be that honest with him about it, and he really appreciated it. That’s awesome. I love that.

It’s yeah, it. It’s it’s interesting. I, for me, I, I think religion comes down to structure, I suppose, and, and there’s, you know, different ways to study or different ways to learn and different ways to behave in a, in a sense. And whereas as you say, spirituality is more really about how are we showing up?

How are we being? And, and to be able to get to know that true nature, cuz yeah, as you say, I agree with you. We are all spiritual beings. We are, we’re not our body because there is something inside of us that is aware of our body. So we can’t be the body. And so it has to be something bigger and yeah.

I wanna, I wanna go and explore some other stuff in a minute, but first I wanna focus in on as I, as I teased a little bit at the beginning that your topic you, you talked about or you submitted on your form intrigued me when, because it was talking about. It was saying completing cycles of action is something that you like to talk about.

And I’m like, what the heck is a cycle of action. So I’m asking you, could you please explain what, what is that and why is it important that we need to complete them I guess? Thank you for asking that. It’s something that changed my life completely. So a cycle has a beginning, middle, and end. Everything has a beginning, middle, and end.

And when we begin something we’re in the, then we start the process of it and then there’s something that happens to end it and it’s complete hopefully. And when cycles are not complete, then they are then they’re open-ended things that keep running through the mind of like, like they’re untethered. And they haven’t been severed and cut in order for something else to begin.

So completed cyclist is something that, for instance, we’re having a conversation. We started this conversation back in January and there was a period of time where we lost communication. We got back in touch and here we are, we’re having a conversation, a live conversation. And when this conversation is ended by ending the zoom call, right, right.

The conversation will be done. It will be completed. Hopefully both you and I at the end of the conversation will feel complete so that we can. Have open space to move on to something else. And we will not have to think about this again, as something that’s unfinished, right? Yeah. And that’s cuz that’s, that’s what I was starting to think about is that it’s that, What’s going on, you know, it, it becomes stressful because it’s like, okay, we were doing something and then we lost track and it’s like, did cuz then you start making up stories.

Don’t you about like, you know, what’s going on with the person or is this something I said or something they said or, or what, what the heck happened is, is, and, and that’s, that’s sort of the conflict, I guess that would come from right. When you, when you don’t get to complete it. That’s exactly right.

And this is part of what happens in a lot in a lot of our relationships is that we might have, say a difficult or a sensitive conversation with another, and we are left feeling unsatisfied or hurt, but we don’t address it. We just kind of let it slide. Right. Right. So that leaves the, the whole experience open, still open ended.

Yeah. And not complete. And that happens numerous times throughout our lives. And it becomes an accumulated thing. and when that happens, we, we have this crew that never rests. The mind never rests. Right. All the shouldas, couldas, and wish I had, wish I hadn’t, all those conversations are going on in the mind constantly.

And if it’s like a weight that follows us around, so when we can be intentional in our relationships or any other thing that we’re attempting to do in life, about making sure that we feel complete in every single moment with whatever it is, the person that we’re with, having a conversation that we feel heard and that they feel heard and that we feel received and vice versa and not taking anything that we say or do for granted that the other, you know, that the other person should, or we think, you know, should know or understand even.

Never taking anything like that for granted. Absolutely. Or not doing like my mother always told me, never assume because because it just, you know, it makes an ass outta you and me, and that’s part of that, it’s it? Yeah. You can’t assume that either they heard you correctly or that they didn’t. And, and I know even.

Well, a lot of people who are watching the show are, are women entrepreneurs. And I know that’s one of the things that when I first got into business, one of the things they, I learned somewhere along the way was to restate back and say, okay, so as I understand it, this is what you want me to do X, Y, Z. And just to be able to confirm that because.

Our brains. We don’t always, sometimes we don’t, we’re not totally listening. We’re not necessarily, or we’re hearing, but we’re not really listening, I think. Is that, is that how it goes? Sometimes we can hear the sound, but we’re focusing our, our brain is focusing on the next question. And that was one thing I had to learn when I was doing podcasting was to.

be more present with the guests who I wasn’t always just focused on, what am I gonna ask next? What am I gonna ask next? But to really hear you, to hear your answer so that then I could say, oh, okay, this, this makes me think of that. Are there other, which is making me think of, are there any other tips that you have, when you’re maybe explaining this concept to people of what they can do, to be able to make sure that cycle is complete?

Yeah, be let one of the things that, one of the things that I actually did mention was be intentional about what you’re saying. Don’t use jargon. If you’re in a particular industry. Don’t use acronyms that you think people should understand and know there people use acronyms in there when acronym can be mean multiple things.

Right. That’s true. I’ve found that I’ve Googled that before and went, oh no, that’s not the one I’m looking for. Yeah. So be clear, be intentional and be clear about what you were saying and when you, and be cognitive of what, how a person is receiving you. So if a person looks like their eyes are glazing over, stop, stop and say, I, I doesn’t look like I’m being clear.

What, what can I say? Or how can I say differently to help you be clear in what I’m saying? Because if your intention is to have another understand what you’re saying, then you, you might have to ask the question or might have to restate something in a way that they hear it. Right. Yeah. And a lot of times on the receiving end people like you, you were saying, sometimes people listen.

For a way, not listening per se, but listening so that they can get their word in the listening for how can I get what I need to say in and interrupt and jump in which totally disrupts the flow. So if you’re going to have a conversation with someone. Be aware of your inclination to interrupt, to jump in because that’s not listening.

That’s not being present as you were saying before with the person. So listen, intently receive intently, and then the flow of the conversation will go a lot easier and smoother. And the connection. Is much more alive. You know, I’m, I’m thinking my own life and, and I, I definitely am guilty of this.

And, and I’m saying I am guilty of it because I do find there are certain situations, conversations I’m in where I do wanna just like, I wanna get in there. It’s like, oh, oh, she said something good. I wanna respond. I wanna get to it. And I’m thinking, and I, I would love your opinion on this is, is it because we don’t trust ourselves?

Good question. I think that’s a very valid point that we don’t trust ourselves to remember what we want to say, but. If we just trust the flow of the conversation, what we wanted to say might not have been as important as what is gonna happen next. There are so many things that happen in a conversation where we want to get our point across.

That we wanna be heard. We just wanna be heard, just hear me, just hear me. Right. And there’s anxiety around it, right? Yeah, exactly. Just go with the flow and if it’s supposed to be said, it will, there’ll be a time for it, right? Yeah, exactly. That’s how I have learned to have conversations with people. Yeah.

I agree with you. There have been times when I have wanted to just say, oh my gosh, I totally resonate with what you’re saying. I wanna, I wanna say this. Yeah. In relation to that. Yeah. I’ve had to hold on and allow the person to finish so that they don’t lose their train of thought so that they don’t, the, the flow doesn’t get interrupted.

And that’s so much more important to me now than being than interrupting and, you know, getting my point across. Thank you for that. Because it, it really is driving home for me that well, and, and, and even, even realizing that when we can trust to, to, as you say, you know, go with the flow, let the other person fully answer. And then even if we do either lose what we were gonna say, But still have the faith that if it’s really, really important, it’ll come back up again and we’ll have another chance to say it.

And so, so for instance, in this conversation, I had a thought earlier and I just let it go, so trusting that, okay. It it’ll come back. This is one of the challenges I think, with texting and, and email, because, you know, when you mentioned earlier about, you know, seeing someone’s eyes glaze over, well, we can’t see that in a text very well, so.

That’s where I, I would think. And then, correct me if I’m wrong, that we really have to be super careful about the words, whether we’re in all caps or not. Some people take that the wrong way as shouting and things like that. What’s been your experience with that? And this day and age that we live in now, so it’s.

Not so much face to face, except for thankfully when we have zoom that’s so true. It’s so true. I had to instruct someone not too long ago when they, they were working for someone else, they were representing someone else. And I said to them that you’re putting an exclamation at the end of something.

And, you know, the punctuation and the caps, they all speak shouting or pointing the finger out, whatever the case may be. However, the, the sentence or what was said, the context of it was, you know, and they didn’t realize, and I said it in a very gentle way, because I knew that they probably didn’t mean it the way it was possibly coming across.
Right. And they really appreciated it. And it just made her more aware how we relate to one another in written form, whether it’s an email or text. We just have to be very, very careful be can’t because we can’t see a person’s facial expressions or body language on how they’re receiving anything.

So, yeah, it’s just one of those things that we, we have to be careful of. Absolutely. What is your favorite thing about working with clients? What, what really lights you up about that, the work you do? Oh, my, their sense of urgency. The perfect client is one who feels the sense of urgency to learn the lessons that they’re here to learn, whatever that may be.

You know, some people believe in reincarnation and they feel that they don’t want to come back and repeat the same things over and over again, but they wanna be done with this lesson, whatever this lesson might be. Right. And so that’s, that’s so wonderful for me because that means that they’re really ready to go through the process.

They might not know how it’s gonna turn out. They might not know, or even be scared about how it’s going to progress, but they, they feel determined. They feel that sense of urgency and immediacy that I have to do this. I have to do it now because I don’t ever wanna repeat it again.

And I don’t wanna keep repeating it in the life that I’m still living now, right? Yeah. That’s for sure. I, I can relate to that. Yeah. I don’t don’t wanna keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Right? Absolutely. Yyou just mentioned something that triggered me. So what is, what is a commonly held belief that you passionately disagree with?

Mm boy, that’s a good one. That we don’t matter that, you know, there’s so many people out there that feel like they don’t either do enough, aren’t enough. And don’t matter whatever they say or do isn’t gonna matter. But as I was saying before, we are all wholes within wholes, within wholes and within wholes and a bigger whole.

And each one of us is here for a purpose, whether it’s for another to see something. For another to learn a lesson from whatever we are saying or doing good, bad, and different. we’re serving a purpose we matter. And it’s really important to, to recognize that. Hmm. And when we recognize the fact that we matter, life takes on a whole new meaning, and we can approach life in a different way.

There’s a lot of nihilism out there right now. And people generally are feeling lost. There’s doesn’t feel, seem to be a lot of love being generated. But we are that, and we don’t, we can’t receive love if we don’t come from love, because what we put out there we are going to get in return is going to mirror back at, at us.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. And so I think that’s the most important thing for me to have people understand is that they matter. What do you. When you’re working with a client and let’s say they come to you, and that is, as you are talking to them, you’re realizing that that’s really kind of the core of what, what is showing up in their life, because that ultimately is what happens, how do you start or, helping them to see that they do matter?

What, what, like, and especially, let’s just say, if someone were listening to this podcast right now and was going, you know, yeah. I, I don’t know why I’m here. How would you help them to start figuring out why they’re here? Well, first of all, it’s a matter of having a conversation about their, that underlying belief system, about what, what makes them feel like they don’t matter.

There are a lot of things that have happened in a life where a person. Has come to that conclusion about themselves. And so it’s about under uncovering the nature of that belief system. And when we can uncover the nature of that belief system, that’s a starting point and we can go up from there. It’s all about asking the right questions in the right way.

Because it’s putting the responsibility back on the client to understand the nature of where that belief system came from and what it is. And then, you know, I let them know that you, you matter simply because you exist. It’s just a fact, it’s a biological fact. Yeah, exactly. and that’s another place I start.

So, and then we go from there because we are the meaning makers. It’s not about life giving us meaning it’s about us giving life, meaning it’s a big difference. Yeah. Yeah. It is. It is interesting. That is what makes us human beings so different from the rest of the world, natural world out there? I, I, I think I was reading something somewhere or maybe it was on a workshop I was on recently where, Talked about how birds don’t care about, you know, feelings, whatever.

They just, they just go, they go where they’re supposed to go. They, they find food. They, they fly and, and, and whatnot, but they’re not so obsessed about their meaning. They just know that they are part of part of the world and then, and they do their thing. And. We need to do our thing too, and not be so necessarily so obsessed sometimes about some of these things that we, either can’t control or, oh, I’m not sure what point I’m trying to make anymore.

Oh, well, anyway, I’m gonna let that go for now. If, if you could learn the answer to one question. What would the question be? Hmm, That’s a good question. you know, I, I live in present time most of the time. And, I think for me, the, the larger question that I’m looking to delve into the inquiry. I call it more of an inquiry. And not necessary looking for an answer per se. So my questions these days more about, what is next?

What, what more. Is there for me to learn? What more can I learn that I don’t already know because I’m always open. I wanna always be open to what I don’t know. I don’t know. Right. And I’m really, really happy and secure in the mystery of life. I love, I used to be so deathly afraid of the unknown.

Getting on a plane, worrying about my luggage, worrying about whether the plane’s gonna fall sky, whether you know, things I could not control as you were saying. Right. And when I finally got through my own inner fears of just being, being in the world, I was able to rest in the unknown. And it’s a beautiful feeling because I don’t know what’s gonna happen from one moment to the next.

And I’m really okay with that. Makes life exciting and, and definitely, oh, I think it helps you to be able to then handle the changes that come along. Cuz as we’ve certainly had a lot of changes over the last couple of years. So yeah. When you can be not overly concerned about it and just be curious about, yeah.

I wonder what’s gonna happen next. It takes a lot of pressure off doesn’t it? It certainly does. Yeah, it really does. And it, and the, our ability to create is enormous in that state. Yeah, that’s true. Because we all creative beings. and there’s a lot of power in that. Yeah. This has been a really good conversation.

I’ve been enjoying it. Is there anything that I haven’t asked that I should have? Any other or, or else, any other point that you really wanna drive home and make sure people hear today? You know, someone asked me what advice I would give my 22-year-old self. And I really thought about that and I felt that I would say, don’t take yourself so seriously.

Oh yes. Now don’t take yourself so seriously. And there is no right or wrong answer. we grow up with having to learn material and we have to have the right answer to everything. We have to know everything. Well, no, we don’t. You get out into the real world. You’re not gonna, there’s no way in hell that you’re gonna know everything.

You can’t know it. So be okay with not knowing. That if I would say the biggest thing for me was be okay with not knowing. It’s like a total flip on one’s butt, if you will from what we were grow, what we were told we needed to do when we were growing up, you have to know this and you have to know that.

No, I don’t. Not yet. Not right now. Exactly. Yeah. And, and then that gets you into that place of being, I wonder what’s gonna happen next. You’re, you’re much more open to it. So they, they do go along very well together. So that’s excellent. If someone is listening to this conversation today or watching it and would like to know more about you and the work you do I assume you, you.

I know we said that you’re a teacher and you, you probably do, you know, have like sessions. I don’t know if you work one on one or group or however you work, but how can people get in touch with you and find out more information about you? Well, they can. Reach out to me through my website, Carol pilkington.com.

And I’m also doing a, creating joyful relationships course. That’s starting this Thursday. I don’t know if there’s a link or anything that I can provide people, but, it’s gonna be a six month course once a month. And then we’re gonna meet in between for support and Q and A. All right. Is this something that you will probably do again?

Because actually as the time we’re recording this, it’s, it’s gonna come out after you’ve already started the course. So when people are gonna be hearing this, you’ll probably be in the middle of the course. But well, people can also, I, like to offer people a free gift. It’s a free, soul filled living quiz.com.

Okay. So they can take that self-assessment and there’ll be a free gift for that. So it’s kind of nice to know where you are on your journey and where you’re going or where you feel that you need to learn some lessons. Absolutely. All right. Well, I will be sure. Sorry, go, no, go ahead. Say it again.

Called www.com dot soul filled living quiz dot com. Okay. And as I was just gonna say, though, is in case you’re somewhere listening to this and you don’t have a pen handy. If you’re driving, it will be in the show notes. So you go to live love engage podcast.com and get it at Carol’s episode. You’ll see all that information there.

And, uh, yeah. So this was a lovely interview I’m or at least I had a good time. I hope you did too. And I know I’ve learned a lot. Yeah. So thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it and wish you all the luck and success in your future endeavors and seeing what happens next. Wonderful. Thank you so much, Gloria.

I really appreciate it. It was lovely. And I wanna also thank all of you for listening and watching, and I really appreciate you because you’re what helps keep me going every day. And, if you got some value out of today’s episode, I hope you’ll share it with a friend and ask them to subscribe if they’re not subscribed already.

And until next time as always, I encourage you to go out and live fully love, deeply and engage authentically.

Did you know that a majority of entrepreneurs tend to discount the importance of their work and a good number? Feel their success is simply due to luck. I know from personal experience, that self doubt can keep you from having the kind of life and business you desire. That’s why I’ve created a free guide called uniquely you how to move. Self doubt to self love in four simple steps to claim your free guide. Go to live love, engage.gift that’s live love, engage dot Gift.