How do you know when it’s time to change course in your life or your business? That’s the big question that so many of us wrestle with, especially during midlife or when we’re faced with big decisions. Eventually, many women over 50 reach a pivot point—when you feel something needs to change, but aren’t sure if the time is right to jump in, or how you can move forward. Read on to learn how you can prime yourself for change, including what type of inner work you can do to gain clarity on what you really want.
Finding Your Pivot Point
“How do you know when it’s time to change course? You’ll know. There comes a time when you just… know.”
That quote was honest advice given to me by a coach, and she was right. Sometimes the signs are slow-building, subtle; other times, it’s a single moment where something inside clicks. My hope is that by sharing my story, you’ll learn how to spot and prepare for your own pivot point.
My Personal Journey: Recognizing It’s Time
Looking back, there were plenty of signs that my marriage wasn’t working. After more than 30 years, something changed in 2021. The way my husband responded to world events made it crystal clear to me: our values were no longer aligned.
- I’d put up with a lot.
- He’d put up with a lot.
- No one’s perfect, of course.
But I’d been “seriously unhappy” for a long time, especially as our kids got older and more independent.
Patterns and Role Models
Isn’t it funny (or sad) how we sometimes marry someone like a parent? In my case, my husband had many of the less pleasant qualities of my mother. I should have seen it coming: their birthdays were a day apart, for goodness’ sake!
While my in-laws were married for over 40 years, everyone in my family eventually got divorced. It created a kind of tension in me: I wanted to break the “family curse” and make it work.
Losing Fantasies and Facing Reality
For ages, I’d daydream about leaving and moving in with my sister in Arizona. But when she died in 2016, that escape hatch closed. I was forced to confront reality and ask myself, what now? Do I keep making the best of it? Or do I summon the courage to end the marriage?
Learning, Growing, and Self-Discovery
A lot of change starts with inner work. For me, it began in 2009 with a daily meditation practice: a way of tuning back into myself. I also joined a mastermind, took courses, and did deep personal growth work after my sister passed away from cancer.
The more I changed on the inside, the more it highlighted how little my husband wanted to grow with me. You’ve heard that old story: one person grows, the other doesn’t, and you drift apart. Well… I was living it.
What changed for me:
- I started to remember who I was before this relationship.
- I realized I’d become quiet, deferential, and a people-pleaser.
- I was becoming like my father: quiet in the shadow of a strong partner.
I didn’t like that.
“I was hiding my light. I wasn’t shining my light.”
Eventually, I worked with different coaches, including the wonderful Marty Ward (who I interviewed for my Live. Love. Engage. podcast). One day, I finally asked her, “How will I know when it’s the right time?” Her answer stuck with me forever: You’ll know. And she was right.
Courageous Conversations
In January 2021, I finally knew. But it took me a year to act. I wanted things to be as amicable as possible, so I worked with a divorce coach, got my ducks in a row, and made sure I was ready. Then, one afternoon, I took a deep breath, summoned my courage and told him what I wanted.
Was the journey easy? No. But it felt right.
- The event that tipped it all over lined up with years of feeling and knowing deep down.
- I designed my exit thoughtfully and took responsibility for my happiness.
Turns out, my leaving gave my ex space to grow, too. And, yes, separation can work out better for both people.
How to Prime Yourself for Change
Changing direction in your life or business is not always easy. But it is a process you can prepare for.
Tools and Steps I Used:
- Courses & Workshops – I kept learning and growing.
- Coaching – Direct support from people who could walk with me.
- Inner Work – Meditation, journaling, and self-reflection.
- Retreats – Fun fact: I stopped wearing my wedding ring after a retreat, even before officially separating. Symbols and rituals matter.
- Community – Surround yourself with supportive people.
Why do these things matter? Because clarity comes through action. All the tiny moves you make stack up until you’re ready for the big leap.
“If you’re not having the life that serves you, it’s time to think about what it will take to change that.”
Career & Business: Pivot Points Aren’t Just Personal
Change isn’t only about relationships. Maybe it’s your career or business that’s outgrown you, or the other way around.
Triggers for Career Change
- Kids leaving home
- Divorce or death of a partner
- You or a family member facing a serious illness
- Just feeling, “Is this all there is?”
When my sister died (the last close family member I had grown up with), I started rethinking everything, including my business.
Up until then, I was happily running my SEO copywriting business. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure if it still fit. I started slowly pivoting because my heart was pulling me elsewhere: coaching and supporting women in midlife.
My Own Business Pivot
Sometimes, your pivot is prompted by:
- An outside event (“tap on the shoulder from the universe”)
- An idea that won’t leave you alone
A huge moment came while meditating when out of the blue, I heard, “You need to write a book about love.” I stared up at the ceiling thinking, What do I know about love? But that nudge changed my path.
The book took years to write and publish, including long periods of grief and uncertainty. But that download was the signpost for my career pivot.
Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone
Moving from copywriter and marketing expert to coach was scary. But the biggest pushes came when I took uncomfortable steps:
- Gave a presentation about “The L.O.V.E. Method” instead of the LinkedIn talk everyone expected
- Started doing Facebook Lives about spiritual topics, not just marketing
The support and feedback fueled even more change. These pivots came through action and connection with others.
Inner Work: The Foundation for Change
If you want a big change on the outside, you need to do the groundwork on the inside.
Personal Development Tools
Here’s what helped me:
- Workshops and Retreats – immersive, healing, inspiring
- Working with Coaches and Counselors – for accountability and new perspectives
- Journaling – to process feelings and track growth
- Mindfulness & Meditation – to connect with your own inner voice
- Breathwork, Energy Work, Light Language – more on this in a minute!
The process is about becoming an expert on YOU—your desires, your values, your strengths, and your dreams.
Knowing Yourself and Your Values
Want to know when and where to pivot? Get clear about your values.
When I worked with my branding coach Tiffany Neuman, we focused on identifying mine.
My Personal Values:
- Authenticity – Be true to yourself always and in all ways.
- Acceptance – Accept your divine nature for real freedom.
- Joy – Your birthright. Live it.
- Love – It’s what you’re made of. Embrace it.
- Service – Help others however, whenever you can.
- Spirituality – The thread that connects us all.
- Community – How we thrive, together.
I keep these values visible every day. They remind me of what’s truly important and help guide my decisions as life changes.
Your list will be different, but naming your values gives you a north star during turbulent times.
Letting Go & Healing: The Role of Ritual and Light Language
Change sometimes needs a ritual—a symbol of letting go. For me, it was taking off my wedding ring at that women’s retreat. Such a small thing, but a huge shift inside.
I also lean on light language—a form of sound and spiritual healing that you might find new, strange, or fascinating.
What Is Light Language?
It’s a form of communication that sounds familiar-but-not. It bypasses the thinking mind and speaks straight to the heart and soul—a kind of healing via vibration and frequency.
- You listen, instead of thinking
- It’s about emotion more than meaning
- It’s not about understanding with your head, but with your heart
During transitions, I use light language to release the old and receive guidance. If you’re facing your own pivot point, a practice like this can help you tune into your own intuition and healing.
Pro Tip: If you want to try it, set an intention before listening: “Help me see when it’s time to change. Show me the next right step.”
Wrapping Up: Living Life Boldly and on Purpose
Pivot points aren’t easy. Sometimes, you’ll wonder if it’s really time to make a move. My best advice?
- Keep moving, keep learning, keep growing.
- Start to sketch out what you REALLY want.
- Do the prep work, get support, do the inner work.
- When the moment comes, act. You’ll know.
“Whether it’s in your personal life or your professional life, you can do it.”
Midlife (or any time of change) can truly be your best decade. Every step you take, no matter how small, is preparing you for what’s next.
Resources: How to Connect and Get Support
If “pivot point” is more than just a buzzword for you now—if you feel that itch, nudge, or ache for something MORE—you don’t have to walk it alone.
Try a Light Language Session
Curious about the healing and clarity that can come from sound? I offer complimentary 15-minute intro sessions (virtual, easy). No pressure. We can focus on whatever you’re going through.
Join a Supportive Community
Looking to connect with like-minded women over 50 who want to connect, grow, and thrive? Check out the Soulful Women’s Network.
Other Ways to Connect
- Online Courses: Transformation starts with learning. Check out workshops and online events.
- Coaching/Masterminds: Join a group of like-minded folks, or work one-on-one.
- Journaling Prompts: Start with, “What do I really want? What am I afraid to let go of?”
- Read My Book: Live. Love. Engage. – How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Start Being Yourself.
Final Thoughts
I’ve been through hard pivots in my 30s, 40s, 50s, and now 60s. Each decade has gotten better, even as life brings its share of challenges and loss.
Your pivot point might feel scary, but also exhilarating. It’s a chance to live more boldly and on purpose.
Thank you for being here. I hope something in my story or these tools supports you on your own path.
Live life boldly and on purpose. Your best years are waiting.
Standout Quotes
“Sometimes the universe taps you on the shoulder… but you have to be paying attention.”
“Learning who you are is the only way to design a life your way.”
“You deserve to be happy in a way that makes you happy.”
For more resources, updates, and inspiration, stay tuned to the blog or get in touch.
