Meredith Alexander is in the business of helping people become even more alive, and she specializes in helping people identify their next big step and what’s been holding them back.
Years ago, Meredith had been on her own journey of searching for answers and feeling stuck. At the moment when she thought life couldn’t get crazier, she got a phone call out of the blue telling her that daughter had been seriously injured. This experience would forever transform how Meredith would approach difficulty and live her life, as we hear in this episode.
On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:
- What Meredith’s TED Talk is about and why her message is meaningful.
- The phone call that set Meredith’s life on a new course.
- Why Meredith now respects the magic of life.
- How to give your own boulders meaning.
- How her daughter’s accomplishments changed the way she viewed her own life.
- The mental steps Meredith went through to overcome tragedy.
- How Meredith was able to arrive for her daughter as a force to be reckoned with.
- What happened when she launched the supportive Facebook page for her daughter.
- How her daughter’s journey unfolded and where she is now.
- Why it’s important to celebrate life’s little victories.
- The role that language plays in reaching success.
- What to do if you are facing a boulder right now.
- Where most people struggle when overcoming challenges.
- How focusing on lack influences people energetically.
- The role that gratitude plays in overcoming life’s biggest obstacles.
- How she allowed the most epic part of her life to come through.
- The takeaway Meredith wants to leave listeners with.
Connect with Meredith
- Join the Live. Love. Engage. Community
- Intuitive Business Coaching
- The Live. Love. Engage. Book
- Support the Podcast with BuyMeACoffee.com
Enjoying what you’re hearing on Live. Love. Engage.? Subscribe on Goodpods or your favorite podcast platform, and leave us a review on Podchaser or Apple. You can also watch the conversation on YouTube.
You’re listening to the Live Love Engage podcast on today’s show, we’re going to be talking about how to use life’s boulders to unleash your most epic life. Stay tuned.
I am Gloria Grace Rand, founder of the Love Method and author of the number one Amazon Best Seller, Live Love Engage – How to Stop Doubting Yourself and start being yourself. In this podcast, we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to live fully. Love deeply and engage authentically so you can create a life and business with more impact, influence and income. Welcome to live love.
Engage Namaste and welcome back to another edition of Live Love Engage. I am delighted to be with you as always, and I am delighted to welcome a guest with us today who I’ll tell you about where we connected in a moment. But first, I want to just welcome Meredith Alexander to live love engage.
I am so happy to be here. Thank you so much for having me.
Well, I am delighted to have you, and I’m going to. I’m going to tell you a little bit for those of you listening and watching who this person is and then why I knew that she’d be a good guest for us today. So Meredith is in the business of helping people come even more alive. And she specializes in helping people to identify what’s that next big thing for them and what’s been holding them back from getting that because we do sometimes hold ourselves back from things, don’t we just a little bit right?
A little bit. Just a little bit.
Yeah. Well, Meredith and I connected earlier this year in a coaching program how to do a TEDx talk and and she’s I think this was actually your second time through this program, wasn’t it? Yes. Yes. So yeah, she’s she was a pro at it. And and but it’s always it’s always important to or maybe not always important, but it’s good sometimes to go through programs again because you can get open up another level of training. But what she talked about, her number one, I want to tell you, if you ever get to hear her talk, which is about using life’s boulders to unleash your most epic life, you will love it. I will just tell you because and I’m sure it’s even better now than when it was back when she was doing it. For us, it’s spectacular, and she’s got a spectacular story. So I thought we would start off today with you sharing with our audience, both our listeners and viewers on YouTube. Sort of give us a little context about what that TED talk was about and and why why it’s so important to you to get that message out.
Sure. Sure. Well, just a few years ago, my life was definitely anything but epic. I think I was like a lot of people. I was chasing what felt like my dream at that point, which tended to go in about 10 zillion directions. I was a single mom. I was an entrepreneur with my own little business that I was trying desperately, and I do emphasize desperately to grow. And I was just looking for the answer in a million different directions, and I felt that the harder I pushed myself, the more I seem to fail at everything. And it wasn’t necessarily a crash and burn always, although sometimes it felt like it was. But it was just this steady hamster wheel of frustration, to be perfectly honest, and just feeling stuck and feeling like no matter what I tried, I was nowhere close to where I thought I would be at that point in my life. And I was nowhere close to the type of person that I had hoped that I would be, and I definitely didn’t feel the way that I hoped that I would feel at that point in my life. And so just when I thought things could not get any crazier on the middle of a Friday afternoon in the middle of my company’s busy season, the phone rang out of the blue and it was a young woman on the other line telling me that my youngest daughter had been randomly crushed by a boulder while they were traveling in South America, and that I had to drop everything, race down to Colombia, and that doctors were doing everything they would could possibly do in the midst of formidable.
Obstacles to hopefully keep her alive in time for me to get there. So needless to say, this is not something that I think any of us are prepared for, certainly not trained for. And all of those big problems in my life, all of a sudden seemed very trite and very trivial. However, I have always been someone who really had taken an immense interest in what I now call the inner game. And I and specifically because I had encountered so many boulders in my own life, it had drawn me to really take a close look at how had some people face these incredible boulders and actually emerge as bigger, bolder versions of themselves pun very much intended. And and so I had had led me to study everything from energy to the Japanese martial art of aikido to neuroscience to the lore of what I like to call attracting the right action.
To me, the word attraction is more like a contraction for attracting the right action. So the law of attraction and specifically the work of Esther Hicks, Abraham Hicks. Had been super powerful for me. And so as I flew over the ocean, most likely to be bringing back the body of my youngest child, I really had the opportunity to ask myself some powerful questions. And the first one really was What was I going to make this mean? And how much power was I willing to give that boulder? And what? Unfolded from there was life changing, not because of what happened, necessarily physically, although that ended up being miraculous, but the way that it changed my life and my daughter’s life to really help us understand how every single one of us has the potential to unleash the most epic version of ourselves, regardless of the circumstances. And sometimes it’s these biggest boulders that are the key to obliterating the things that have been standing between us, the ordinary and that epic life that we spend sometimes our entire life dreaming of. Does that make sense?
Oh, it does. Yeah. I can relate to that so much because I know for me, my big boulder was my sister getting cancer and then losing her to that disease. Because that changed my whole life led to me writing a book, which I know your experience also led to you and your daughter, I guess together writing a book now. So yeah, I can relate, but I want to get back to you. Tell me a little bit more about so because I’m just, you know, envisioning as a parent myself, you know, that’s like, you’re your worst nightmare is to get a phone call like that. So what did you do? I mean, I mean, really, it’s I know you mentioned you’ve had like a lot of this training, is that help. But really, what was it that got you to be able to, you know, be able to probably even just walk into a hospital, you know, and be able to be that fall apart while you’re there?
So, you know, really, I have come to have a great respect for what I call the magic of life. And this really. Became evidence of this for me. So part of it was actually having to be on that plane because had this accident occurred in Tampa, Florida, where I live and I raced into a car and raced down to the hospital. I wouldn’t have had that time at thirty thousand feet to ask myself what became the most powerful questions. And that and it helped me really get to a place where I realize that there are three powerful questions that when we’re in a crisis that we really do need to ask ourselves and to have pause to ask ourselves these questions. And one really is what can I control and what is can my mind believe? Hmm. And the third is, what am I assuming that may not necessarily be true? And so for me, the first question became what can I control, and therefore I realized that I could not control the outer game, but I sure as heck could play a mean inner game. So for example, when I looked at the question, how much power was I willing to give this boulder? And what was I going to make this mean in the context of both of our lives? It led me to really reflect on Schuy’s life because my daughter at that time was just twenty-two years old, and yet she had been to five out of the seven continents. She had taught English in Nepal.
She had taught English in Tanzania. She had been a camp counselor in Croatia. She had built a school in Peru. She’d been on stages in London. I mean, she had done more things in her twenty-two years than most of us do in 80. Yeah. And so the real question became, was I going to let the boulder erase all that? Was I going to process all of this to mean simply that I was going to finish my life, defining myself as the mother of a child who was killed at an early age by a boulder or was I going to take back my power, take back her power from circumstance and define myself instead as the mother of a young woman who in just twenty-two years had powerfully impacted the world? And so that became step number one for me. And then it was what could my mind believe because again, the most of so. Setting the scene here a little bit, I mean, this boulder… Schuy had been on a rafting trip and she’d gone through the dangerous part, and they with this group of tourists had pulled into a grotto and been climbing their way up to a jumping ledge.
When one of the boulders broke loose, cracked open her skull and knocked her onto the rocks below which crushed her lungs, fractured her spine, fractured both scapula, snapped her right thigh and pulverized her left ankle. So I found out later that four of the of the injuries that she sustained are typically so fatal that the patient never makes it to a hospital much less the hour that it took them to find an ICU in Colombia. And so they. So the miracle miracles had already started. The magic of life had already started. And so my number one priority on that plane was figuring out a way that I can help my daughter because the powerlessness was by far the worst of all the terrible emotions I was feeling. And so I knew now that I wasn’t willing to become the second victim to this boulder. So now my mind was the only thing I had that inner game. These laws were either real or they were not. And I was going to play this game like I had never played in. And it wasn’t even as if my life depended on it. It was my daughter’s life who depended on it. The stakes didn’t get any higher. So. What could my mind believe? How could I get to a better place where I felt like I had more power and it began again with asking myself different questions? And that first question was has anyone ever achieved something that everyone else said was impossible? And that’s where life seemed to have a sense of humor because clearly I was flying on one of these impossibilities, right? I was in this airplane that until relatively recently in human history, that had been totally nuts, Lloyd, to believe that that could be possible, right? Absolutely.
So that kind of got me on my way to really finding thoughts that could feel just a little bit better. And and then it was what might I be assuming that may not be true? Hmm. And that is that this is destined to be fatal, that miracles are rare and few and far between. It became why not? Why not us? And how could we get there? And I realized that looking back and everything I’d learned from the law of attraction energy, et cetera, that really my focus was key. And and and so. Rather than trying to look on the bright side, I had to somehow find the place where there was no bright side because clearly when we’re focusing on our bright side, what we’re actually focusing on is that big looming dark side, and we’re just trying very hard not to look at it, right?
Oh yeah, definitely. So. And I think what do I want to ask her? Well, when a couple of things are coming to mind, but. That that process certainly, you know, obviously, was able to then help you and being to help her. Were you? You know what happened like once? Because it definitely, you know, clearly she was definitely, as you say, experiencing miracles already or she’d already experienced, you know, injuries that on a normal quote, normal situation, you know, might, might have taken her. But I believe clearly that she a universe God, whatever you believe was clearly not done with her yet. And and probably you as well, and that you’re going to, you know, live to tell the tale. So what? What happened? What happened after that, I mean, were there any? So this still happened, you know, because it’s like, you know, yes, it’s it’s awesome that you were able to do this, but there’s still reality comes into play sometimes, and it might be challenging. So.
Oh yeah. So I love that you actually brought, you know, bring this up because, you know, I don’t know if this was my own variation of mama bear instinct, right? I mean, because, you know, like a mama bear, there’s nothing that is going to get to her cub if she can help it. Right? So. This is where I get so emphatic in my life now about the. I just can’t stress enough how important it is that we begin learning how to play the inner game to win. Now this is not something that you pick up when you get that phone call and hope to to will your way through it again, it’s better willing your way is better than nothing, right? And I’m certainly not saying that, that it’s hopeless. However, for me, a lot of setting the stage for this had been done before I ever got on that plane. Yeah, and it was the belief that I and it was getting myself to that place by finding one thought that my mind could believe that felt a little bit better. And that helped me inch from total despair because I was absolutely I mean, I will not kid you there when when I first got that call, I collapsed on the kitchen floor thinking, Oh my God, I am not. This cannot be happening. I am not up to this. I am just a normal mom. I don’t have enough money to help my daughter for this level of an injury I have. I don’t know anything about Colombia. All I knew was Hollywood and drug lords and all that kind of stuff.
I don’t speak the language. I’m not worthy, you know, I’m just not good enough for this, right? You deserve someone else who can give it. I mean, all of those kind of thoughts came deluging into my mind. And so it took all of my determination to be of service, to be of value, to help my daughter, to find that power that got me out of that blizzard of panic and anxiety and terror and. Everything that came with it, right? Yeah. And yet, thankfully, I had had enough. Traumatic experiences already in my life that those traumatic experiences had led me to quest for different kinds of answers. So when I got on that plane, I believed, I mean, some people again, some people might call this faith right. But I knew, and the way I describe it is that I was able to get my thoughts from that place of total despair inch my way up to a little bit of hope. And that hope started building some momentum that eventually took me to believing, but even believing has a thread of doubt in it. So I had to keep going until I felt that click. I felt that resistance disappear. I felt that voice saying, You’ve got to fight this disappear to a place of knowing. That everything would be fine. Whatever the new fine might be, even if my daughter physically did not survive this. And when I got to that place where my expectation was one of. Kind of divine purpose. Then it felt as if life had to conform to my vision, regardless of what medical precedent said.
And it began to act that out. So from that moment. With only a few little flickers along the way. I was able to arrive at the hospital literally as a force to be reckoned with. I was not the second victim. I was there to be the leader. That didn’t mean I was going to roll up my sleeves and operate on my daughter. But it meant that energy wise, focus wise, my daughter’s team. I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that everyone arrived there for her, expecting only the best outcome and delivering absolutely the best of their potential. And that showed up actually. Once we were three days later, we were actually able to have her airlifted from Columbia to Miami. And my first encounter with the neurosurgery team that was going to be tackling Schuyler’s injury was really profound because they walked into this tiny room that she’s in. She’s on this like floating bed because of her spinal injury. And and these were like the Olympian athletes of doctors, right? And they were very, very focused. And yet nobody would make eye contact with me. They were kind of like pale because they were trying to as gracefully as possible, explain to me what they later shared that if Sky’s injuries were not the most complicated that they had ever dealt with, it was in the top three. I mean, because literally her skull, as they described it, later looked like corn flakes.
Oh my gosh.
I mean, it had been a direct hit right between her eyes. They were positive she was going to be blind, which, by the way, she is not. And so they were really captured in feelings of self-doubt like this. I don’t know. I don’t know that we’re going to be able to. This is going to be another one that’s not going to have a happy ending. And they could already see it. And so I was able to stop them and say to them really calmly. And really, I mean, this sounds like a really weird word, but happily, my daughter is going to be fine. You are the best of the best. This is the most prestigious hospital in the world for trauma. You have the best equipment here. I know that my daughter is going to be fine. Whatever the new fine might be, we just have to get her there. And it was amazing, Gloria. You could just see that stress. Their eyes came up. They made eye contact with me. Their shoulders went back. They started breathing again. And it was almost as if tangibly you could see these waves of stress roll off. And that’s similar to what became kind of my mission when so many people were reaching out from all around the world about Sky, and I knew that I couldn’t keep them all updated. So that’s when I launched. The Facebook page called Sky is the limit, but spelled like her name. Why? Thinking that it would be for one hundred people and it was. It was no hospital photos of her. It was photos of her after her strongest, her boldest, her best. And it was things like if you want to help Skyler, if you want to cheer for our family, then you go out and you be the most epic version of yourself. You smile at strangers, you live your dreams, you let nothing stop you. And so before we knew it, we had thousands of people. Many people who didn’t know me didn’t know Schuyler. And those posts actually are what became the book. The Schuy is the limit that hit that hot new release spot on Amazon. Wow.
That’s amazing story, and what I’m also now wondering about and from what you started off by sharing of all of the amazing things that your child has done, just blows my mind all these different things. So when she finally came to a point where she, you know, obviously, you know, got through some of these surgeries and started to really probably be a more active participant in her own recovery, how was her mental state was? She is determined as you to just, you know, get back? Or did she go through any kind of, you know, I would say, unsurprising, you know, doubts and things about what had happened?
Well, I mean, I would love to say that, you know, it had such a miraculous conclusion that she’s back out there in the world. She’s not. She was released from the hospital four months later. Much of that time was spent in a coma, et cetera. But when she was released, she couldn’t sit up. She couldn’t raise her arms, she couldn’t swallow, she couldn’t talk. And so where we are now, almost six years later, is she is tenacious like you would not believe we have given our first talk together. That was a real talk, not just her joining me on stage doing Q&A. But the boulder has made a longer impact on her balance, which means that she’s still twenty four seven dependent on someone to help her with even the most basic transfers and moving herself around. So I’m still her primary twenty four seven caregiver, and yet she is determined that at some point she is going to find that independence and move forward, and for her, it’s really all about. Learning to celebrate the little victories in life, that life is not a series of massive destinations. It really is a dance with many, many different steps along the way. And so she has been incredibly resilient. Her joyous spirit? Stay strong. And she really has her eye on the future and hopefully being able to go out there herself independently and continue making that big, powerful impact on people around the world.
Well, I think if she’s anything like her mother that she will be able to do that for sure because you’re going to be cheering her on, I’m quite sure. And eventually she’s already proved that miracles happen. So why not more? For sure.
For sure. Definitely.
Yeah. For someone listening to this and you know, we’re watching and maybe they’re going through their own boulder right now, what would you tell them about, you know, I mean, you probably you’ve probably hinted at it a little bit. But what? Maybe it was like maybe a first action that they could take to start to shift that boulder a little bit.
So it’s it’s interesting. You know, now I have trained hundreds of people and how to play the inner game to win and how to shift things and. You know, there are several foundational things that we could go into. And I think probably the first thing is if you’re. Facing your own if you’re facing your own big boulders, aside from the physiological. Value of the basics of breathing deeply, I mean, when we’re facing what we are labeling fear. Studies of so that that’s identical to exhilaration. We’re simply not breathing. Right. So there are certain. So getting it seems counterintuitive when we’re feeling like we’re hit by a boulder, we tend to want to isolate. We tend to want to curl up, hide under the covers. That’s kind of the opposite of what you want to do, but really one of the most. Powerful things is to learn how to. Start becoming aware of your inner narrative, and that because that’s our language and to understand that our language is either our power or our poison, right? So when we, for example, virtually everybody comes to me saying, well, my biggest challenge is figuring out what to do next in my life and then understanding how to do that right, for example. And my biggest challenge is, well, there are many, many impactful words in that sentence. Challenge, of course, comes with all these invisible stories of, Oh, it’s impossible.
I’ve tried this many, many times. Nothing works. Everybody else figured it out. I haven’t figured that out. What the heck is wrong here? Then you take biggest right? You can’t have big EST if it’s your only challenge. So guess what? You’ve now identified yourself as having multiple challenges, and this is just the big one. Right? So the heaviness continues, and then you don’t even stop there. Instead of saying the biggest challenge, we have a tendency to say my biggest challenge. So now it is part of our identity, along with our two eyes, our nose or mouth. So when anything intersects with us, it’s intersecting with us being with two eyes, nose, mouth and this big challenge, right? So we’re going to respond emotionally, which is going to impact our actions, which is going to impact our results, right? But the biggest, most impactful word in that entire sentence is that word is because that’s our present tense. So that becomes truth with all capital letters, which we are not programmed to question. That becomes the programming code for our subconscious and everything that we expect going forward. So really, really, really important is not to feel like. The challenge isn’t real. It is real, but it’s one perspective of reality. The answer for most people is not going in front of a mirror and saying, You know, you know, I am a money magnet when your mind is going, have you checked your bank account recently, right? It’s finding, again, what can my mind believe? And it’s going and finding that you can say, rather than my biggest challenge is, well, my biggest focus right now is.
Or even better, my big commitment right now is figuring out what my next step is and how to follow that right. That is authentic. That is true. So if you are facing a boulder right now, it is really, really, really important that you understand that you need to be your biggest ally, not your own worst enemy. And to learn how to use your language, how to become sovereign of your own mind. 90. I think statistically, 90 percent of what we think every day is what we just automatically thought the day before, and ninety five percent of our thoughts are completely subconscious. We don’t realize what we’re we’re not paying any attention to them. So if you’re facing a boulder, whatever that is, it is the time to really identify where you are. Identify who you are right now, where you want to go, why you want to go there, what’s working in your favor and what’s not and then start moving those boulders, those inner momentum killers out of the way. So you really can. Mm-hmm. Be moving yourself in the direction of that epic outcome that you’re looking for.
Hmm. That was awesome. I love that there’s it’s really great advice for someone to because I know for me that some of the language patterns that I have had have just they are just habitual patterns. And it’s one of the reasons that I recommend if you’re not working with a coach to work with one, because they often just that’s pretty much what you’re paying them to do sometimes is to really listen to your words and then pare it back and say, Do you know that you said this because we don’t hear it, we don’t hear it coming out of our mind because I think half the times we’re already thinking about the next thought, even as we’re speaking something. And so we’re not conscious. You have to really start training yourself to really listen to the words you say. And and it’s a work in progress. I think it definitely takes time. I’m still practicing it, and I will catch myself and go, Oh, no, I don’t mean that cancel cancel is my mother used to say. So it’s important that we do this. But I want to ask you, let’s go back way back to when you were first sort of starting on this journey where you were like exploring, you know, and listening to Abraham, who I love as well, because it sounds like a lot of what you’re talking about is when they talk about, you know, upstream versus downstream and finding those things that are a little bit. What what was your did or if you’re willing to share, you know, maybe something that that sort of tripped you up on that path that you had to maybe say, Oh, oh, you know, this is harder than I thought? Or was there anything like that?
Oh, for sure. Constantly, constantly. What actually drove me to them was that I was in the midst actually of an abusive marriage at the time, and my anxiety and panic attack level had gotten so high that I really could not drive on the highway. I didn’t have that much adrenaline left, and the only kind of respite that I had were by reading these little dragon books, everything from Lord of the Rings to some of the other ones that that are wonderful books that are out there. And so I was making my little trip to the bookstore, sneaking away, and I was in the fantasy section looking for something new when all of a sudden this book falls off the shelf, wham onto the floor in front of me and it’s asking it is given a totally does not belong in the fantasy section. It’s Esther Hicks, Abraham, Jerry Hicks. And it was fascinating to me. It it called to me. I picked it up and I started in the middle and began reading some of the ideas and some of the philosophies and some of the techniques. And so I became hooked and I started listening to. At that point, they had tapes and I would listen to their tapes of some of their seminars. And ultimately, I ended up in the hot seat five times with Esther, which was amazing. And yet I found that. Until I got it, and it was the Boulder, thank you very much that helped me get this, that it was the things that I yearned for. The most yearned for that were absolutely the hardest for me to execute because one of the places where I see most people trip up is that concept of focusing and what we focus on expands, right? The problem is, is that most of us believe that we’re focusing on one thing when we’re focusing on exactly the opposite.
We’re focusing on the lack of the present. So even, for example, if we do stand in front of the mirror and say I’m a money magnet, right? One of the reasons why that won’t work for most people is because where we’re focusing on is the lack of the presence of what we want, i.e. the money. And that’s why we’re doing it. We’re doing it because nothing else is working. I have to frickin try this as stupid as it feels, standing in front of the mirror. Right. So we’re energetically. That’s what that’s what is is being harvested is not our words, but energetically and where our and our focus is what drives that energy into form. Right. And so for me, it was it was the topic that I was yearning for du jour. Sometimes it was more financial freedom and stability. Sometimes it was, you know, having, you know, finding the the love of my life or whatever it was. But that always seemed the most elusive until I realized energetically how to stop focusing on the checklist of things that were missing and really how to let go and just bathe in like a dress rehearsal of what I will feel like when it’s around me, when it exists. No. God, I need this now. I’m so ready for
This right question in a way,
Right? I’ve done everything. I’m so ready. Everybody else has it. I’m so ready. This is so not fair. Right. When I could get rid of that and just say, You know what, I’m just going to play and I’m going to do everything that I was told not to do in kindergarten. Don’t daydream. You know, get your head out of the clouds. You know, clouds. Here I come. Right. So and and I explain to a lot of my clients that the difference is, you know, two people sitting in a coffee shop and one person saying to the other, Where do you want to be a year from now? Your normal average person is going to say something like, Oh my god, a year from now, a year from now, I won’t be making. I want to be making six figures. I’m going to be living in a house that is a heck of a lot more storage than this one does right now. High ceilings, a pool, great neighborhood, great neighbors. I want to be making it to the gym five days a week. And while we’re at it, I want to lose 20 pounds. Right? I mean, even though we’re talking about it, it’s actually the focus is completely on that checklist of what’s missing. Right. So we’re actually feeding the exact opposite of what we want as opposed to being able to say something like Gloria. A year from now, I am going to be waking up in this home that I have dreamed about for years and years and years. I can even smell the lavender candle that’s going to be on this amazing granite top countertop as I stare out of this beautiful pool with waterfall coming down the fire pits and I am going to feel elated and on fire, right? It’s that whole different energy, and it’s almost that feeling of when you actually get there and experience, it’s almost a feeling of deja vu and a little bit almost even kind of a letdown because it’s like. Well, this isn’t so new. I’ve been experiencing this looking awesome, but it’s not new, you know?
Absolutely. I love that. And yeah, it makes all the difference in the world because we can. I think part of this also gratitude comes into play as well to be grateful for what you’ve got now. And because that also helps you to be able to then get into that vibration of like, Oh yes, I’m living this wonderful, amazing life. And and it’s already starting now.
Yeah. You know, it’s interesting that you would bring me bring that up on the tail end of the other question, because now that you mention that. Gratitude. Was easy on some topics and on others, it was like, excuse me, how can I be? How can I be grateful for having been in an abusive relationship? I mean, so intellectually, I knew that I had to get there, right? But emotionally and even spiritually. It was like, I’m sorry, I I don’t get it. I mean, I don’t get it. I don’t know how. I can feel grateful for that. I can stretch and try to forgive. But even that’s hard. But gratitude. No, I just can’t. And what’s interesting for me is that where I really got it? And lived it was in the chapel in Miami, and I was sitting there just because it was a quiet space guy, was in the middle of one of many procedures and I was sitting there staring at that stained glass and all of a sudden it was that feeling that maybe you have gotten when you’re walking along a path in the morning to all around and you take a step and there’s this perfect majestic spider web that one step early you could not see just because the angle of the light right, you take one more step and it’s gone again. So for me, all of a sudden I realized that those years of being in that abusive relationship. Another experience that I had in business where I felt like I’ve been betrayed that had cost me a hundred thousand dollars that had been painful, painful, painful and hard to feel grateful for.
I realized that they had driven me. To quest for different things, to ask different questions, I mean, I literally had found the Abraham book thanks to the emotional pain, right, that I was in at the time if I had no. Asks there would have been no desire to pick up that book, but because I was so entrenched in yearning asking that book. Literally was a godsend for me. And so I realized that if I had emotionally reacted one speck differently than I actually had and had, I not had any of those experiences that I would be a different person. And I would not be the mother that Skyler needed right in there. And so I realized that if there’s kind of a profound majesty in all of that, then who am I to judge? The pattern, the bigger picture that’s going on behind this very moment for us right here right now, and I’ve carried that with me ever since, and in that moment I was able to feel grateful for everything and I was even able to forgive that boulder. Hmm. As who was I to say that this boulder wasn’t part of the big ask part of the big plan? And then the moment that I went with it was the moment that the real that real epic part of life could really come through. Hmm. Wow.
Wow. I don’t know about the rest of you all listening or watching today, but I have just gotten so much value out of our time together and is there anything else that maybe I should have asked you that I didn’t that you’d like to share today?
Yeah, I mean. I think I don’t know that I would frame this in the question, but I think what I would really love to leave you who’s listening to this right here right now is the reminder. Is to ask yourself every single day, one of the first questions you ask yourself is who do I choose to define myself as today and who does that mean? I intend to show up as? Right, because all too often we get in this routine of defining ourselves, for example, as someone who faces a lifetime of struggle. That’s been me. I’ve been the master of struggle and we feel that if I give up that identity, that definition of myself, I don’t know who I am. Well, what if? Starting this moment right here right now, you could deliberately choose to define yourself as anything that your heart can imagine as epic as you can be. What would that feel like? What is the potential there? And who would you show up today looking like? Hmm, if that was who you could be.
That’s an epic question right there. Wow. Yeah. And and I think sometimes it’s not an easy question to answer to ask and or answer because I know there have been, I think, times in my life where I would struggle to come up with that answer. But thankfully, I’ve done a lot of work since then. But but I think their lesson would be is to just keep asking it every single day. Yeah, yeah. And don’t worry, the answer will come. Yeah.
And don’t assume that the answer is going to be the same every single day.
Yeah, that’s true.
Right? And to get that sense that. You have so much more control and say. Your life, then you can possibly imagine, and that really comes down to the fact that our inner dialogue. Hugely defines how we experience our life. And so when we can become the sovereign of that dialogue rather than just leaving it to random repetition. Our life and and from that are our results in our life changed dramatically.
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, it’s that’s the thing is that we we get to choose who to be, do or have. And just living by default or living according to what other people say, how we should be. Ultimately, we are the ones living in this body. It’s this is and we have that control. And it is. It is up to us individual to take that control back. Don’t, don’t leave it to anybody else. You deserve all the joy and happiness you can possibly have, and you don’t have to own those challenges. There are things you’re you’re working on or right or you put it that you put it better. You’re playing with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So, yeah,
There are lessons or things that we can try to figure out and work out.
And and and and you know, for me, one of the most important things has been that. That Abraham statement of go easy with it. Have fun with it, yeah, play with it. You can’t get it wrong, right? And you can’t miss the boat because you are the boat. Right. And and so have fun with this. This all the all of creating the most epic version of yourself is really supposed to be fun. It’s an extension of that exuberance and exhilaration that we’re intended to have from the moment that we’re put here on this planet as a child and all the data that we collect isn’t meant to depress and hold us down. It’s meant to accumulate more wisdom that than when we can superimpose that. On top of that enthusiasm and imagination that we have as a child, then we truly do live a life without limits.
Yeah, absolutely. This has been epic, I think epic interviews. I appreciate you being here. But before I let you go, if someone listening to you is, you know, wants to know more about you, maybe they really resonate. Want to connect with you? What’s what’s the best place? How can people get a hold of you?
Sure. Well, I’m definitely on social media. You can find me on Facebook, Meredith Alexander or of course, reach out on the sky is the limit book. I mean, book yes, on available on Amazon, but Schuy is the limit page S-c-h-u-y. So Schuy is the limit page. And then, of course, if you are someone who is finding yourself right now feeling stuck, feeling like you’re on that hamster wheel, or that your life doesn’t quite look like what you thought it would look like when you were in your twenties, thirties or whatever. As a special gift for listening to this podcast with Gloria and me, I want to invite you to go to my coaching website, which is grit mindset academy dot com. And there you will see the opportunity to actually have a 20 minute complimentary strategy session with me. You can also find that link on bit Dot Ly forward slash go epic now. that’s bit dot ly forward slash go epic now, and I would love to hear what’s going on in your life, what you’re bumping up against and and share how possibly we can start to move you beyond that. So super important to start really believing in yourself, not leaving that to anyone else and take start taking that those action steps yesterday, today, now and really commit to owning that most epic version of your life going forward.
Absolutely. Well, I will have all of that information in the show notes. So if you’re somewhere where you’re not having a pen or pencil to write that down, don’t worry about it. Go to Live Love Engage podcast dot com for sure, and you’ll be able to get all that information there under Meredith’s episode, and thank you again for being here today. This was awesome. I’m so glad we had a chance to to chat, and I’ve actually learned even though we were connected for a while, I’ve learned more about your story today, so I appreciate you so much, Meredith.
It has been such a joy being here and thank you all for listening.
Yes, I agree with that. I second that thank you all for listening, for watching, for subscribing, for leaving awesome reviews. And I know there was something else I wanted to say about that today, but it’s just gone out of my mind. But it’s OK. We’ll catch it on the next episode. I know it was an invitation for you to do something rather, but oh well, it’s all good, so until next time. As always, I encourage you to go out and live fully. Love deeply and engage authentically.
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