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Stop Tweaking, Start Thriving: How to Overcome Perfection Paralysis

Are you struggling to overcome perfection that shows up as constantly tweaking your website, second-guessing your program prices, or obsessing over every email before hitting send? In this eye-opening episode, we explore how perfectionism isn’t just a personality quirk – it’s an old achievement wound that’s blocking your business flow.

Show Notes | Transcript

“Perfectionism isn’t just a personality quirk or a trait of Virgos like myself. It’s actually an old achievement wound that is blocking your business flow.” – Gloria “Grace” Rand 

As a fellow Virgo and recovering perfectionist, I share my personal journey of overcoming self-doubt and the circumstances that led me to strive for perfection. We’ll examine how childhood experiences, societal pressures, and other factors contribute to this achievement wound, and how it manifests in our businesses.

Discover how to:

  • Recognize the signs of perfectionism in your business practices
  • Understand the difference between striving for excellence and perfectionism
  • Implement practical tools to heal your achievement wound
  • Embrace imperfection as a pathway to growth and authenticity

Key insights include:

  • How perfectionism stifles divine guidance and impacts various aspects of your business
  • The importance of self-compassion in overcoming perfectionist tendencies
  • Why letting go of perfection can actually inspire and embolden others
  • Practical strategies for setting realistic standards and managing your time effectively

I also share a personal invitation to join our podcast community, where you can connect with like-minded entrepreneurs and share your experiences in overcoming perfectionism.

Whether you’re a seasoned business owner or just starting out, this episode offers valuable insights and practical tools to help you break free from the perfectionism trap and create a more authentic, thriving business. Tune in to start your journey towards embracing imperfection and living fully, loving deeply, and engaging authentically!

Resources:

Overcome self-doubt and embrace your brilliance at Align to Shine Academy: aligntoshineacademy.net

Join the Live. Love. Engage. Podcast Community: LiveLoveEngage.com

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with Live Love Engage:
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LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand
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Live. Love. Engage. Podcast: Inspiration | Spiritual Awakening | Happiness | Success | Life

TRANSCRIPT

Stop it. Stop trying to be perfect. Do the best you can. Get out there and shine your light in the world. There are people out there that need you. They need what you have to offer.

I am Gloria Grace Rand, founder of the L.O.V.E. Method and author of the number one amazon best seller Live. Love. Engage. – how to stop doubting yourself and start being yourself. In this podcast, we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to live fully, love deeply, and engage authentically so you can create a life and business with more impact, influence and income. Welcome to Live. Love. Engage.

Namaste. If you are tired of spending hours tweaking your website, second guessing your program prices, or maybe obsessing over every email before hitting that send button, well, today’s episode is for you because we’re going to be diving into how perfectionism isn’t just a personality quirk or a trait of Virgos like myself. It’s actually an old achievement wound that is blocking your business flow. And if you stick around, you’re going to get some practical tools to be able to heal that.
But first, I want to welcome you to Live Love Engage, especially if this is your first time. I am Gloria Grace, the founder of Align to Shine Academy, and I work with spiritually minded women entrepreneurs, helping them break free from self doubt and really step into their highest potential. And I am quite familiar with self doubt. This is, this is definitely something that I’ve had to overcome in my life. And one reason is because it does fuel perfectionism, which I’m already naturally inclined to be one, you know, to be a perfectionist, because I, I am a Virgo. I was born in September and I also had other circumstances that caused me to want to strive to be the best, be perfect in different areas. And part of it is because of my upbringing. I did grow up in a, you know, a household that, you know, God bless both my parents, God rest their souls. My dad was a, was an alcoholic and my mom could be verbally abusive from time to time. And so there was a lot of stress and in my house growing up and so having older, having an older brother or sister and seeing how they navigated well, or let’s say, the tension and fights, frankly, that they would get into with my mom. I decided that my best course of action to survive in the Johnson household, my maiden name is Johnson, would be to be a good girl, you know, do my best not to screw up and, you know, get good grades and just be an overachiever and you know, that, that. Well, it’s definitely, it helped a bit. Pretty much got through my, my childhood pretty well. And, but of course then it carries on into adulthood and then, you know, in my business and then that didn’t always work out, which we’re going to talk about in a little bit about how that manifests itself certainly for me and how it manifests itself for lots and lots of other amazing entrepreneurs out there.

So I want to also make you aware. Trauma is certainly one cause of what’s called perfectionism is really, it’s a symptom of an achievement wound really. And so there, there are other things that can cause this. I mean, one is just society’s pressure to succeed. Especially, you know, I think even women in particular, we get caught up in this because frankly, it’s still a man’s world. And so we’re, you know, trying to be able to compete in a man’s world. And so sometimes we, we feel this really pressure to overachieve because of that, you know, trying to break through the glass ceiling. Certainly if you’re in the corporate world, it’s, it’s, it’s tough and, you know, women have made some strides, but it’s, it’s not, not coming very easily. And it’s, it seems like we’re just all, we’re sliding backwards, frankly, the next few years. It’s, it’s going to be interesting to see how things play out. Economic pressures as well, because again, you know, to help you want to be able to succeed. A lot of, you know, families out there with, with kids that both parents have wound up having, needing to work in order to support their families.

Other things that can happen now, again, my mom was, I don’t know if she was exactly a perfectionist parent. She was just, she was under stress, so let’s say that. But I know there are these perfectionist parents, especially, I know, in some particular cultures where you, you know, they put a lot of pressure on their kids to succeed and, you know, to get all A’s. I mean, an A minus isn’t even acceptable. So there’s a lot of that sometimes comparing, you know, comparing one child to another child or comparing it to peers. I mean, sometimes that happens in school. You know, it’s like teachers might compare you to, maybe even to a, to a sibling that they had, they taught before or just to other, other people in the classroom. So that’s kind of some of the causes of it. And, you know, there’s, there’s definitely others, but I wanted to, I think those are some of the more common ones that show up. And so let’s show up. Let’s get my tongue to work.

Let’s talk about how that shows up in business. How does that, how does that show up? Well, as I mentioned at the beginning, it’s, it’s things like endless tweaking. You know, whether it’s tweaking your website before you officially have it go online. I’ve, I’ve known other business owners who, who just keep, you know, working on it and working on it and working on it instead of just saying, okay, it’s. It’s good enough. For now, I can fix it later because that’s the thing. You, you can always go back in and update things, but just get it out there. I mean, right now, here’s a perfect example of me. So I’m getting ready to run my align to Shine Academy again in a few weeks and I ran it a couple of months ago and so I had a landing page all set up for that. And then after the first group of women went through it, they gave me some feedback. And so I’ve been going in and making changes to that landing page and I still made some changes to it today because, you know, there were things I wanted to tweak. But it’s out there. You know, somebody can go out there and look at it right now. You can go to aligntoshineacademy.net and see it. Right now it’s available. In fact, you know, if you would like to overcome self doubt and want to sign up an early bird special going on right now so you could do that. But the point is, is that I didn’t just wait to even launch the program until it was perfect. I made it clear to the people who signed up for it that this is a work in progress. I need your feedback to help me make it better. And so I did the best I could and they gave me some great feedback and now I know that this next iteration is going to be a lot better.

Okay, so that’s, that’s, that’s one, one way that it shows up. There’s lots of other things. Difficulty celebrating wins, you know, you know, you don’t give yourself enough credit for having, having something good happen in your business or you’re over complicating simple systems or, or yeah, now this is one for me. Resistance to delegating. Now I know especially when you, if you are a solopreneur and when you start your business, sure you want to do everything yourself. Your business is your baby. I get it. I felt that way too. And at a certain point, if you really want to keep growing and serving more people, you have to start learning how to delegate. You’ve got to start hiring team members. I mean, I did that. You know, I was doing that with my, with this podcast for a while. I hired an, I hired an editor. I’m not working with someone at the moment, but I plan to later this year get back to it. So here’s, here’s an another example of how I have overcome perfectionism in that the fact that I have actually I had to edit two parts of this podcast Together, because I thought, well, it’s a little bit of perfectionism, but I wanted to, but I want to, to have it be okay. So I, I had to cough and I, I, I panicked because I didn’t hit the mute button when I coughed. And then I, so then I thought, I, anyway, whatever. I decided that to stop the recording and then I saw that I was okay. But so we’re picking it up and, and here’s the thing. What happens is if you can let go of this need to be perfect. Perfect, perfect. I love that. See, there. There you go. Let go. The need to be perfect. Perfect. You can laugh at yourself, number one.

And you don’t have stress because that’s what happens when you are striving for perfection is it can really stress you out because you’re wanting everything to be just right. But guess what? We’re human. We make mistakes. We, we don’t hit the mute button when we think we do. And then we cough. And so now we have to edit that out. But it’s okay. So you’ll never know. Maybe I’ll leave it in. No, I won’t. I’m. You won’t hear the cough. Trust me, I am taking it out. But. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, so that’s the thing. This is, this is what happens. You’ve got to be able to, to let go of it. But. Oh, oh, and the other part I wanted to talk about too is so the other reason, the other reason that too, that you need to. Well, yeah, yeah, no, I’m gonna say it. You need to. It’s for your own good. It’s for your own sanity. It’s for your own physical health and emotional health and mental health and spiritual. Because when you are in this perfectionist mode, it actually tends to stifle your divine guidance and then that cascades into other areas of your business. Then you’re not able to attract those wonderful clients that you want to work with and money isn’t flowing to you very well, and you’re not being as inspired creatively and you’re, you’re fighting off your intuition about what, what you need to do in your business.

So there’s a difference, though, between striving for excellence and striving for perfection. Of course we want to be excellent. We want to do the best that we possibly can in all areas of our life, not even just our business. Of course we want to be. Strive to be excellent and as I mentioned before, more human. We’re going to make mistakes. We’re not perfect. We’re not even though. And I think I talked about this in the, the last episode I did. Maybe. Or was it in a LinkedIn newsletter I posted recently? It might have been that. Follow me on LinkedIn if you’re not already. You know, I send out a newsletter every week that relates to some of the. These podcast episodes and gives you a little bit more, A little more context, a little more detail. And where was I going with this now? I don’t know. Oh, well, it’s okay. You know what? Yeah, so. Oh, excellence and perfectionism. That’s right. So, so yes, you want to strive for excellence, but know that we’re not perfect. We. We are not perfect even though we are created. I believe this is my belief in God’s image and that we are essentially the arms and legs of God walking around on this planet Earth. And we were also given free will and this ability to make choices. And sometimes the choices we make maybe aren’t exactly in alignment with what our higher self would want for us. And that’s how we learn, and that’s how we grow from making mistakes. And you know what? That’s the other big reason. Whoa. Yeah, see there that is. That is divine guidance right there. One of the really, really good reasons, reasons why it’s much better to strive for excellence than perfectionism is be. Oh, come back. Come back. What was it? It was because. Oh, fudge, I had it and now I just slipped away. Oh, darn. Okay, well, it’ll come back. I’m gonna trust that, that whatever that, that wonderful insight I had that floated away on me too quickly. I should have just spit it out. Okay, all right. It’s okay.

That’s what we have to do. We have to pause, we have to relax. We have to. And know that with that guidance will come. Sometimes it does slip away a little bit. And if it’s really meant to be, trust in divine timing and divine wisdom and that it will come back. So whatever it was, I know it was going to be great, but I don’t know, maybe God decided go a different way. So I am going to go a different way. Let’s talk about healing. Let’s talk about healing. This perfectionist streak, it’s a little bit annoying. My ego. My ego is kind of going like. But it’s okay. So if you’ve been following me for any length of time, you hopefully know that I talk about something called the love method and it’s something I wrote about in my best selling book, Live Love Engage. But if you’re new, you don’t know that. So L.O.V.E. is an acronym, and the L in love stands for let go and let God. So let go of this need to be perfect. You don’t need to have it. You can strive to be the best you can be. And that’s all anybody really expects from us. And when this wasn’t the point, but this is another point is that when you do, you embolden others. Like, let’s say if you’re doing. Maybe you’re doing a podcast and you’re making lots of mistakes in your podcast. Guess what? Maybe someone out there wants to do a podcast, but they’re scared and they’ve been procrastinating. Or maybe they’re working on it, but they’re like, they want it to be perfect. And so they haven’t released any episodes yet because they’re. They keep recording, recording them over and over again to make sure it’s perfect. Well, one of the. One of the benefits of not, or. Or let’s, let me say being okay with being not perfect is that that person will hear it and say, well, gosh, if they’re okay doing it, well, what am I waiting for? Why don’t I go out and start getting my message out there? Because you owe it to the people who are going to be. Who are going to resonate with you to get your message out there. And if you are hiding your light by striving to be perfect, then you are depriving them of the wisdom and knowledge that you have and that they can benefit from. Well, that just got me all emotional there. Yeah. Stop it. Stop trying to be perfect. Do the best you can. Get out there and shine your light in the world. There are people out there that need you. They need what you have to offer. And so you are doing them a disservice by waiting to make everything just right. Oh. Oh, and that’s. There’s a great quote, and I think it’s Napoleon Hill. Yeah, I think Napoleon Hill, who wrote the book Think and Grow Rich, said the time will never be just right. It won’t. So just do it. As Nike says, Great slogan for a shoe. But. But it’s true. How about just in life, just do it. Get out there and do it.

Okay, so let go. Let God help you set. Set realistic standards for yourself. You can limit time on tasks. So you’re not. Yeah. And in fact, this. This is one I do. I am, like, really striving to use my phone, and I set the timer for 30 minutes, and then I get up and I take A break and I go on to something else. You can use something like a planner. I’m using, I’m using a planner now. Every day where I set, I have like 4 musts that I have to do. And so I make sure that I get those things done and then I have time to do other things if I have time. And then if I don’t, I don’t. And you know, you can use like smart goals, you know, specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time boundaries and practice. This is a big one. Practice self compassion, okay? Treat yourself with kindness. If things don’t go as planned, laugh about it if you can. Like I was doing today, you know, I could have just stopped this. You know, I could have just said, screw it, I’m gonna record tomorrow because this isn’t working. But I want, I think, I think God orchestrated this actually on purpose so that I could really demonstrate to you the beauty of not being perfect. You know, I am striving for excellence. So I am going to edit the things out that, that don’t need to be in there. I will tidy it up a bit. But I’m not going to spend hours on it, I can tell you that for, for certain. I’m not going to spend hours editing. I can get it done in less than, and less than that. One other thing too. You know, I mentioned this earlier. You know, my ego was kind of being a little. And we have that. We have sometimes these self critical thoughts that come up from time to time. So pay attention to them. Maybe write them down and look at them and say, is this something I really want to believe? Is this really coming from my higher self? Or is this, you know, that monkey mind ego? And then replace it with a positive affirmation. Something like, hey, it’s okay that I’m not perfect. I’m on a journey of growth and learning. Let me say that again so in case you want to write it down. I’m okay that I’m not perfect. I am on a journey of growth and learning. I strive for excellence. I strive for excellence every day. And that’s perfect. There’s something you could laugh about. Oh, and cultivate gratitude, you know, for everything that you get done that day. Even if you don’t get everything done that day. Be grateful for what you did. And that’s it, you know, that’s good enough. And I again realized that I’m forgetting to do some other things on the show today. But it’s okay. It’s. It’s fine.

What I would like to invite you to do, though, is commit to doing some sort of practice where you can be good enough this week instead of perfectionism. If this is something that you have trouble with from time to time, it’s okay. And what I would encourage you to do, I’m, I, I started a podcast community a couple years ago and then I kind of let it slide. So I’m endeavoring to rejuvenate it and, and get it going again. So if you, this would be a great way for you to reach out to me, to be able to share your feedback, share what you’re doing today, to be good enough and not perfect. So you, it’s really easy to do. You can go to live loveengage.com that’s it, liveloveengage.com and join the community. It’s, it’s a, it’s a free community. It’s on Facebook. Not sure how long it’ll be on Facebook, but you know, if you’re, if you’re active on social media, you know, things are a little weird lately and that’s okay. But yeah, I would love for you, yeah, because I’d love to connect with you. I, I feel I, I know you’re out there. I know you’re listening. I know you’re watching on YouTube and I love it so much. And I love when I get new reviews on Apple podcasts, for instance, and it’s amazing and I thank you all for when you do that, but I would really love to be in closer contact with you. I’d love to know, are these episodes really resonating with you? Do you have any ideas for some other topics that I can talk about? So, yeah, join, Connect with us. Connect with me. Let me know what’s going on with you. And that’s going to do it for this edition of Live Love Engage. So I encourage you today to go out and put perfectionism on the doorstep. And instead, I want you to go instead and live fully, love deeply and engage authentically.

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About the Author
An online marketer, SEO copywriter, and speaker for 15+ years, Gloria Grace Rand has helped over 150 companies including AAA and Scholastic Book Fairs attract and convert leads into sales.

Losing her older sister to cancer propelled Gloria on a journey of spiritual awakening that resulted in the publication of her international best-selling book, "Live. Love. Engage. – How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Start Being Yourself."

Known as “The Light Messenger” for her ability to intuitively transmit healing messages of love and light, Gloria combines a unique blend of energy healing techniques, intuition, and marketing expertise to create transformational results for her clients.

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