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Self-Pleasure: Dr Fanny’s Path to Empowered Success and Healing

Embark on a transformative journey with the Sassy French Physician, Dr Fanny Leboulanger, who is a fervent advocate of self-pleasure for emotional, mental, and professional development. This episode takes a bold stance on pleasure as an inherent right, challenging the guilt and shame woven into our societal fabric. Tune in for a journey that promises to stir the soul, challenge preconceptions, and encourage a life rich with pleasure.

Show Notes | Transcript

“Pleasure literally helps you get rid of the layers that are in the middle of you and the business that you want to have.” – Dr Fanny Leboulanger

After many years of practicing gynecology daily, Dr Fanny Leboulanger noticed something was missing. She decided to use her skills to help people fall in love again with themselves, step out of sexual numbness & boredom, life on auto-pilot, and self-hate (and yes, they work together ). With a coaching methodology combining ancient wisdom and up-to-date scientific tools, a bilingual podcast called Your Sexyfied Life, and a French sense of humor, Dr Fanny dedicates her life to helping people build their own Sexyfied life. To reclaim the Lifegasm they deserve. With Thriving Sex as a bonus.

In this episode, you will learn:

  • How Dr Fanny’s epilepsy diagnosis shaped her life
  • Integrating body and pleasure in self-evolution
  • Self-Pleasure as a fundamental human right
  • The connection Between pleasure and trauma healing
  • The concept of ‘sex magic’ and its influence on business success
  • What ‘lifegasm’ has to do with living a full life
  • Pleasure as a way to process emotions and manifest desires


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Podcast: Your Sexyfied Life
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Live. Love. Engage. Podcast: Inspiration | Spiritual Awakening | Happiness | Success | Life


Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
Namaste. I am so excited for today’s show because we’ve got an expert, who is going to be coming on shortly, who believes self-pleasure is the hack you need to reach your next level in business and in life. So I know that if you are intrigued by that, you’re going to want to stick around. And if this is your first time joining us, I am Gloria Grace, the light messenger, and I help female entrepreneurs release negative thought patterns like self-doubt, so you can grow a business that aligns with your soul’s purpose. And, as I mentioned, our guest today is this expert and her name is Dr Fanny Leboulanger, and she is known as the Sassy French Physician, and she is really on a mission to help people rediscover pleasure and stop their inner war and come home to themselves. And I am excited to find out what her story is, how she got to be known, frankly, as a sassy French physician, what that all means. So I’m going to bring her on to the stage right now. So welcome, dr Fanny.

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
Hello, Thank you for having me. I’m excited.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
Wow me too. So, yeah, I love asking our guests to kind of give a little background on themselves and tell us about you know this journey, because I know that you’ve been on an interesting journey, I think of how you got to be where you are today, so I wonder if you would share that with our audience.

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
Of course, I love that question. I have a pretty basic story of life knocking at the door and me being like I’m not listening, and life knocking again and me I’m not listening, until things crashed. So what happened is I am a French physician and during med school I had a diagnosis of epilepsy. Age 26, out of the blue, you are allowed to have one seizure in your life. When you have a second one, that’s called epilepsy, and so you need treatment. So I had to start looking and do some self-inquiry.
What happened at that moment is how I noticed how I was proud of submitting my body Like my body is a tool that is a service of my mind. My mind was so proud I am the one in charge and you were following what I decide. Until, literally, my body switched my brain off. So I had to do some digging. Then I started to dive deep into the self-development work. I love that, and I also spent a lot of hours, months, years and also a lot of money in things that would not make me feel that great.

I have a loved one I thank her for that who said to me, “with all the work that you’re doing with yourself, how come you’re still miserable?” ouch, but true. And so I started to want to dig deeper a little bit. And then there was this life combination moment. The universe has the secret of with a few things arriving at the same time. I had many patients. I work in gynecology on a daily basis. I don’t have a title of a gynecologist, but I do the gyno work, apart from delivery and birth. But like everything else, I can do that, Pap smears, birth control, IUDs, like that and so I had many, many people that were coming to me with issues I had no answer to, and the exams I was prescribing had no answer. People having pain and me being like, okay, I guess you’re gonna need to go see a sexologist. Until the point it was like three patients out of four and I was like there’s something wrong. If I need to send 75% of my patients to a sexologist, there has to be something else. I also remember this woman being 34 and whispering like doctor, I think I’m broken because I’m 34 and I never had an orgasm. And I was considering myself lucky because I had orgasms before and I was starting to feel a little bit weird about getting them only from my partner, as if suddenly like, yeah, I don’t know what’s happening here.

So I started digging. I discovered the teacher that I studied under. Her name is lila martin. She’s amazing and um. So I started bringing this modified tantric wisdom with my medical knowledge and, thanks to that, I have a zero bullshit tolerance. That’s where I think my sassy French physician title that I give myself comes from, because I truly believe we wouldn’t change our lives if we do the real work, and I also truly believe that we can bypass and lose so much time, so much energy and so many, or at least so much, inner wisdom and lifeness in doing, yeah, some that at least are not as efficient or, as I’m not going to say interesting, because it’s always interesting there are definitely ways to act or fast track your self-evolution if you do the real work, and in my totally biased opinion you’re gonna say me, you’re gonna hear me say that a lot it’s how, when things start to change, when you bring your body with you and bring your body with you, and the best way to do that is to do it with pleasure.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
Okay, tell me a little bit more about this, though. So you especially when you mentioned that you’re having to discovering that all these people seem to be having this issue. So how does I guess discovering or learning to maybe even find pleasure for yourself, how does that translate into or maybe I shouldn’t say you know, what are the benefits of it beyond the strictly physical about it?

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
First there is the whole chemicals and things that help your system feel good and, on a really basic and simple level, pleasure is your birthright. If you have a female at birth body and if you have a clitoris, you have a dedicated organ designed for pleasure, with no other purpose than pleasure, and I truly believe again, totally biased opinion, that honoring that is a way to honor your birthright. And when you honor your birthright, suddenly things start to change, sometimes for the best, because you’re realigned to your core and true you truly are. You understand how you feel, what you want. And also sometimes it brings a lot of shit too, like all of the things that you have put lovingly under the rug for years, or things that you haven’t looked at, or things that you have consciously or unconsciously avoided, and all of that creates change. You will get that right back into your face and since you are changing, there are also many people who will be like what the f*ck is happening to you. So that’s really reclaiming the beauty of all and that’s pleasure, at least for me, is the only way I found to get a little bit closer or further on that journey.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
Now, and as you’re talking though, I’m thinking there’s… I don’t know if it’s still as much today, but I know for me, certainly, growing up there’s a lot of stigma against it. And a lot of, you know, and again, I grew up Catholic, and you’re going to go to hell, frankly, if you’re going to do something like that. Because sex is for procreation, that’s it , you know.You’re supposed to be, I think pleasure is a byproduct, except that I’ve also done reading and talking to other people that you know. Frankly, it’s especially between two people. It can really be almost a when you connect with someone, well, that it can be this really holy connection. So, but if… so, what would be well, I guess maybe the question I’m going to ask you is what would you say to someone who’s like you know, who still kind of feels that you know this is something that they might feel guilty about or feel shame about? How do you handle that?

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
The sentence that I say the most, I think, is you’re not broken, there is nothing wrong with you. It’s the system that we are living in that is twisted and that is making us feel guilty or afraid or all of these byproducts from the society we’re living in. So there’s nothing wrong with experiencing that. Second, it’s really important to allow yourself to feel them. I think so many of us, myself included, have tried to reject how we feel, reject what we think, because we should know better, because we have worked on ourselves, because, because, because, because and it’s really interesting.

What I love about the work with the embodiment and the pleasure is that you’re getting the tools to help you digest all of that. Literally, eating shame for breakfast, meeting your shame, meeting your guilt, meeting all of that with pleasure helps you connect to how these emotions are just fuel and sensations, given meaning by your brain, and so when you come back to that, when you bring your body to that, you reclaim the energetic part of them and then you can alchemize them or not, you choose, and sometimes you think you have alchemize them, and sometimes they come back and okay, the beauty of all doing all of that is that, even if you are at the beginning of the journey, there is no way you can do it wrong, especially because pleasure is your birthright. There is no way you can harm yourself when you reclaim the pleasure journey, and I think that really is something that needs to be said over and over, especially because of this guilt, shame and everything that is going on.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
Yeah, thank you for that. I appreciate that. Now you mentioned that pleasure might be able to actually transmute trauma, so can you talk a little bit about that? Because I know there’s a lot of people who have undergone trauma and it’d be nice to know that there would be a way that they can help themselves. I know some trauma you really do need to get some expert support with, but maybe for a little more minor trauma. So how does that work?

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
Again with trauma, first seek help with a licensed person who know what they’re doing, because there is a really big possibility of messing up with your system. And so I treat, I talk about trauma and I treat. I don’t treat, not trauma, I’m not a trauma therapist. But when I talk about trauma, I do that with so much reverence and care because this is about our humanity condition and how, yeah, you can truly mess up with people if you don’t do it correctly. That being said, trauma is in the body. The trauma has nothing to do with the event itself. Some people get traumatized after a weird nightmare that will create PTSD for 20 years and others… I read some things about people being in the 9/11, 9/11, sorry, who were actually not traumatized because they were able to run down the towers and things like that. So it’s really it doesn’t. What we think about the event has very little, if not at all, correlation to the trauma in the body, and the trauma in the body is the fight-flight-freeze reaction. So maybe the restriction of the mobility of this muscle or this articulation, or this feeling of constriction that you can feel in your body-mind, or a lot of things that can go with that. And how pleasure can help you there is because it creates safety in the nervous system, because you’re allowing your body to function the way it’s supposed to do, because you have an orgasm dedicated to pleasure, whose only purpose is pleasure. So when you honor that, you allow your system to come back to a state of peace, or at least a little bit more peace, and when you do that, you are allowed to experience these sensations and do what we call complete the stress cycle, these types I’m sure you already experienced that once or twice, when you are in a state maybe it’s a state of pleasure, or maybe you’re doing totally something else and suddenly you have this urge to scream, to run, to kick, to do anything like that. This is a trauma pattern or a trauma reaction stored into your body that wants to be released and that needs to be honored In a self-pleasure practice or in a pleasure practice. If you have an urge like that, we need to honor it so that the movement needed, for example, gets released.

I love this example from Emily and Amelia Nagoski’s book Burnout. It’s an amazing book, by the way. They talk about being chased by a lion and how, when we were walking in the savannah, if you were chased by a lion, you had options. Either you could run and hide or run to the village and people will help. Or you will kill the lion and then you will have a banquet after that. Or you know you would freeze or you would get killed.

Or if the lion is killed by someone else with a gunshot, you, the, the threat is gone, the lion is gone, but the, your system hasn’t processed it. Your system is still in the EEK feeling, crunch, crunching all of your muscle and crunching your breath and things like that. And for your system to go back to this safety, you need the movement to relax the muscle, you need the breath, you need the connection to your people, you need the banquet, for example, or the feeling of safety that can come from the interaction with people and from the movement and from the laugh and from all of these amazing tools that again, in my totally biased opinion, pleasure helps get another layer, deeper layer, for the healing.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
Okay, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I can actually understand that. But I want to go back to what I talked about at the very beginning and see about really, how we can apply this in a practical manner for our lives and for our business. Because I do this podcast is aimed to help women entrepreneurs, so when you were submitting the form you know to get out of the show, you said that it’s a hack to help you reach the next level in business. So how does that work? How does self pleasure help there?

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
That’s called sex magic. Because pleasure helps you digest your traumas, because pleasure helps you digest the shame, because pleasure helps you digest the guilt. It literally helps you get rid of the layers that are in the middle of you and the business that you want to have. So it helps really when you reconnect to your pleasure and reconnect to your senses first, because so many of us sensual pleasure is before talking about sexual pleasure. Sensual pleasure is also really not really I don’t want to say unaccessible, but really challenging for people to find at first because we are so numb and functioning into our heads. So there’s all of that. And when you reclaim your senses, when you allow your body to work in the way it’s supposed to do so, there’s all this part. And what I also love about sex magic is how it’s literally. Pleasure is helping your manifestation by 100%. Like you can double your manifestation power with pleasure, because you’re bringing your body with you. It’s not only with your mind and visualizing and feeling good. You’re feeling good and visualizing with your mind, but your body is feeling good too. So in terms of signal you’re sending over there like hell, yes, and I think the last thing that I like to address as well is how, when you are committing to a pleasure practice, whatever it is, on a regular basis, you can understand and feel how each emotion is their own source of energy and how you can play with that.

I love this book from Carolyn Elliot. It’s called Existential Kink how you can literally get off with things that your mind wouldn’t consider something interesting or something get off with. Whereas when you amplify your capacity to pleasure, suddenly you can experience angergasm, you can experience sadgasm, you can experience disgustgasm, and so all of what can happen to you in your business, like people having reactions that are not really helping you or not really, that are challenging you suddenly you have this tool with pleasure to help you bring your body back to safety instead of continuing moving forward in this pattern that might help you and might hurt you in the long run. And also, if you want, you can get off with that, like okay, here’s the mean comment. You know what, let me play with that.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
I love that, I love that, oh, and I guess that’s that’s really the key, isn’t it to for, you know, being successful in business, to be able to manifest what you want, because you mentioned, you know, the how, I know how important emotions are. You know, like you, you know people say, oh, you just need to do affirmations, but affirmations don’t work unless you really feeling it. But you just mentioned something there about play. So how, yeah, what is? How does, yeah, how does, how does play kind of fit into all of this what we’re talking about?

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
On a general topic. I truly believe our world is way too serious and we’re taking ourselves way too seriously than things really are. Depending on your spiritual beliefs and things that you resonate with. Some people consider we’re souls having a human experience and how our big part of the play is acknowledging that you are not your thoughts, you’re not your ego, and there is this whole distinction to make between your essence and who the ego thinks. When the ego thinks you are, sorry. When the ego thinks, it is the essence. And so when you acknowledge pleasure when and since pleasure is your birthright and your essence; when you acknowledge pleasure, there is this oh God, I lost my train of thought. Oh my, I was so confused.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
That’s okay. Well, we were talking about fun and you know how does playfulness kind of play into this? Pardon the pun.

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
Yes, thank you for reminding me. And so when you do that, when you reconnect to the essence, suddenly the heaviness around has less impact because you know you’re here to experience it all.

So experience the peaks and the valleys, experiencing the pure ecstatic bliss and also the shit that is inherent to a human experience. And don’t get me wrong, knowing that doesn’t prevent you to, doesn’t erase any hard events that will come to your life, but knowing that helps soothe the mind a little bit. At least it works for me and the person I, I call the, the coaches I work with. So allowing you to get to that place of understanding that suddenly, yeah, we’re taking ourselves way less seriously then, at least that’s the case for me. Like you’re noticing, when you use pleasure and you build your inner safety, suddenly you don’t feel the outside circumstances have so much power on you. In a sense they always have. Like, if I have a car accident, you’re bothered, it definitely will have an impact on me, but some outside circumstances that I tended to give a lot of power to, especially others, opinions and things like that or things going on in business, like how to do my marketing that when I reclaim the pleasure and when I connect to this essence, suddenly I’m noticing this is just a superficial layer and it’s basically killing my fun.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
Yeah, absolutely. That makes so much sense. I wanted to ask you, so if someone listening to this or watching it today, maybe they’re not really indulging in self-pleasure, but they are resonating with what you’re saying and they want to get started, but maybe they’re a little timid or a little afraid. What do you recommend to someone in that situation?

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
I love that because I love the beginner mindset and because when you are in this beginning state, that’s where you’re going to notice the biggest shifts and changes. And we’ve all been there. I’ve definitely been there, being numb, in an emotional numbness and feeling everything gray for so long that I was feeling half alive. So, I really, my mission is to help people step out of that and you get thriving sex as a bonus. But in my opinion, what is important there is reconnecting to your senses in a broad way. Because before talking about sexual pleasure, if you don’t know what feels good in your life, if you don’t know what types of, what activates your turn on, what activates your senses, there is no way, if you’re living in 52 shades of gray and not 61, there’s no way if you have that that you can get a turn on that will help you skyrocket and get amazing orgasms and shoot out your manifestation to the universe. So the idea here is to start slow and allow yourself to reconnect to your senses in a broad part. So maybe first have a five minutes experience with a piece of chocolate. I have that in the ebook. I’m sure we’ll have it in the show notes. It’s called Essence. Like this guided exercises with a piece of chocolate that you can first look at for one minute, one minute and a half, and see, while you’re holding it, how it melts and how it feels under your skin. Bring it to your ears and move your fingers, see, or listen sorry to the sound it makes, and if the sound changes depending on the pressure you’re applying, then smell it, and smell it for maybe five to ten breaths and notice how it’s changing. Then bring it to your mouth and hear how it cracks and feel it melting.

This simple exercise, you can spend five minutes with a piece of chocolate. So that’s one part. That’s one part, and the second part is to reconnect to your body in a very simple and yet so potent exercise, because you cannot again, in my totally biased opinion, you need to build safety back into your body, and many of our issues, if not all of them, are related to how unsafe we feel. And so reclaiming the power of our touch, the safety of touching yourself, even not in a sexual way at the beginning, just allowing yourself to give you a foot massage or a shoulder rubbing or a neck rubbing, and so allowing yourself to just experience that, allow yourself to make yourself feel good. Give yourself permission to be in charge of feeling good instead of looking for outside providers and I say that with the kindest and most compassionate heart, because that’s what society invites us to do all the time and also spend a ton of money in doing that, in finding outside sources of comfort.

But it’s really yeah, it’s reclaiming the senses. The touch in what I love when to start the journey is breast massage, because usually our breasts can be first so numb and then, when we bring them back, they are one of the easiest gateways to connect the sensual and sexual ideas without having so much charge than, for example, touching your vulva or something. It’s really witnessing and building the sensations in the breasts. So basically retraining your system to be okay with that, and then, when you feel okay with experiencing pleasure, then you want more because it feels good.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
Absolutely and it’s really, it’s taking, you know I talk about in with my clients and things that the importance of self-love and that it’s, you know, it’s not selfish to feel that. And this is just that next deeper way, I guess, or just another aspect of that of being able to really show yourself love by allowing yourself to feel pleasure. And I love that example that you gave of the chocolate. I think that was just… because it’s like oh yeah, I mean I was just like imagining it just while you were describing it and just to feel how much of a sensuous experience that could really be. Hopefully my nagging cat is not being picked up on the microphone. He’s like right beside me goingm, mom, it’s time for you to pay attention to me, and it’s like I’m sorry we’re not done yet. So chill out, kiddo, I love you, but chill out. So, yeah, this has been so amazing. I wanted to ask you kind of two more things here before we wrap up today. Number one is, what are you curious about?

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
Expanding the depth of how I can feel things, because usually people say you end up teaching what you need the most, and personally I end up teaching people and sharing with them the journey how to step out of self-hate and numbness, emotional numbness, sexual boredom and things like that. And so I’m really curious, first, about acknowledging and understanding why the fuck I am still hijacked by my mind again and again, even if I have done a shit amount of work on myself, and I think it’s

Gloria Grace Rand (Host)
oh please, I’ve been there too.

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
Yeah, I’m trying to make peace with the fact that it might be here all my life and that there’s the deck of cards that I’ve been given and I’ll do better in the next one. So I think it’s always.
I’m definitely a student at heart, so you’re really, all of these ancient philosophies that hold so much wisdom like, basically, the method I studied is a modified tantric approach and I know that I want to study tantra, like I am also a 500 yoga teacher and I’m like I want to take an Ayurveda course as well. So I think, overall, what excites me and what I am curious about is how are the different ways that we can heal ourselves on a holistic way in a sense, or, if not heal, at least be more in charge of our health and be more in charge of our existence and doing the work, because that’s why and then that’s how, in my opinion, you get the lifegasm because you have the tools, because you have the pleasure, because you have the capacity to experience it all.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
Yeah, that’s wonderful. Is there anything else that I haven’t asked you about, that I should have, or any one last little bit of advice you want to leave our audience today?

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
I think what I love sharing at the end of an interview is how, no matter how broken you think you are, you are not, and I always say we’re smart beings. We don’t do anything stupid. Usually, when something stupid happens is that a part of us hasn’t gotten the memo that it doesn’t need to hold our strength so hard, it doesn’t need to protect us that strong, because now we have grown up, we have overcome a lot of things, and these parts also are allowed to rest. And suddenly, when you allow these parts that have been clinging to their protective roles and doing that in a really efficient way, when you allow them to rest, suddenly you complete the stress cycle with them too, so you reclaim your energy and so you come closer to this wholeness that you truly are and that you already know you are.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
That’s wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing that, and I know that folks listening to this today or watching it would like to know more about you and maybe get some more support with helping to be able to really connect to, to connect with themselves fully and holistically, as you mentioned. So what is the best place for people to contact you?

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
So if you want to hear more about the work I do, you can go to your podcast platform and my own podcast is called Your Sexyfied Life. Keep the Y at sexy because I’m French. I misspelled it and I was like that’s better and I kept it. If you want to reach out on Instagram, you can go at withDoctorFanny. There I am way more of a text girl and like an audiogram from the podcast. I’m not or I am fully checking and trying to have my love-hate relationship with the social media evolve. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. You can send me a message.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
All right, excellent. Well, I will be sure and have that information in the show notes, so not to worry about that. And you are such a delight and I’m so glad that I was able to have you on the show today. And yeah, it’s not something that we typically talk about on the show, but maybe that’s one of the things that I’m glad you have a whole podcast about that, because I think we do need to talk about these things more often so that we can really reclaim all of ourselves and to be able to appreciate that again.
You know, I’ll kind of bring it back to where I started at the beginning, this idea, you know I think religion puts this shame and guilt on us, but at the same time, I think if God gave us this, or our creator, whatever you believe, gave us this ability to be able to feel wonderful sensations, then why is it wrong to feel them? It doesn’t make any sense. There’s a disconnect there. So thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it and I wish you much success with your work and with your podcast. And, yeah, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your evening, right, because I believe you’re coming to us from France?

Dr Fanny Leboulanger (Guest)
Thank you so much for having me.

Gloria “Grace” Rand (Host)
Oh, thank you, and I also want to thank all of you as well for watching and for listening to our show today. And I really am so grateful for all of you and for those who have left us reviews on the podcast platforms like Apple and Spotify and things like that. And if you are not already subscribed to the podcast or our YouTube channel, I hope you will make sure that you do that, and if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend. And I think that’s going to do it for today, so until next time, I love to encourage you to go out and live fully, love deeply and engage authentically.

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About the Author
An online marketer, SEO copywriter, and speaker for 15+ years, Gloria Grace Rand has helped over 150 companies including AAA and Scholastic Book Fairs attract and convert leads into sales.

Losing her older sister to cancer propelled Gloria on a journey of spiritual awakening that resulted in the publication of her international best-selling book, "Live. Love. Engage. – How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Start Being Yourself."

Known as “The Light Messenger” for her ability to intuitively transmit healing messages of love and light, Gloria combines a unique blend of energy healing techniques, intuition, and marketing expertise to create transformational results for her clients.

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