Star Hayward joins us today, a spiritual business and leadership coach who specializes in guiding visionary professionals and entrepreneurs to become confident, fulfilled leaders in their heart-centered work and life. This happens through radical self-love, emotional mastery, and magnetic leadership strategy. She has over 20 years of combined experience as a healing practitioner, spiritual mentor, entrepreneur, and business coach.
Feminine leadership and the difference between masculine power and feminine power are just a few of the topics we get into. Women in the modern era are under a lot of internal and external pressure, but by learning to balance the masculine and feminine energies, women can learn to fully express themselves and live up to their fullest potential.
On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:
- How Star discovered spirituality.
- The road that led her to become a spiritual business and leadership coach.
- The natural evolution that is happening in business right now.
- The truth about life that people are waking up to.
- The difference between masculine and feminine leadership.
- What women are experiencing in the modern era.
- How finding balance can help you authentically and fully express yourself.
- The definition of a higher power.
- Why masculine energy is important to manifestation.
- How and where true leadership begins.
- The way in which our experiences shape our behavior and identity.
- What is “unattractive” for women in the workplace.
- Why Star asks her clients to set a daily intention.
- How to release lower-vibrational emotions.
- How you can let go of resistance, fear, and allow your life to flow.
- Where Star found the confidence to put herself out there.
- Why you’ve got to be up for the journey as a heart-centered entrepreneur.
Connect with Star
Email: star (at) starhayward.com
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Live Love Engage – Star Hayward.mp3
[00:00:00] You’re listening to the Live Love Engage podcast on today’s show, we’re going to be talking about feminine leadership and the difference between feminine power and masculine power. Stay tuned.
[00:00:14] I am Gloria Grace Rand, founder of the Love Method and author of the number one Amazon Best Seller, Live Love Engage How to Stop Doubting Yourself and start being yourself. In this podcast, we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to live fully. Love deeply and engage authentically so you can create a life and business with more impact, influence and income. Welcome to live love. Engage,
[00:00:50] Namaste. Welcome to another edition of Live Love Engage and I am delighted as always, especially on Fridays in particular to have a guest with us and I want to first off, welcome to live love engage Star Hayward.
[00:01:09] Thank you so much, Gloria. It’s wonderful to be here with you today.
[00:01:13] Well, I’m delighted to have you here, and I’m going to share now with all of our listeners and viewers on YouTube. Just who this wonderful woman is and why I thought she would make an excellent guest for our show today. So Star is a spiritual business and leadership coach, public speaker and writer, and she specializes in guiding visionary women to become confident, fulfilled feminine leaders and their heart centered business through radical self-love, emotional mastery and magnetic business strategy. Like that, she’s got over 20 years of combined experience as a healing practitioner, spiritual mentor, entrepreneur and a women’s business coach, and she combines all of these things into a way to create deep transformations for her clients by helping them to release the past while bringing their inner feminine and masculine energies into balance so they can really step into that new depth of leadership, expansion and impact. And so I think that’s a really cool thing to do. I love how you incorporate all of these things together. So one of the things I always like to ask people, you know, I guess when we have guests on the show is, you know what? What is your story? How did you how did you get here from do all these things? What what kind of brought you? What was that catalyst that actually sparked your your journey?
[00:02:47] Thank you so much. Yes, it’s it’s been a multifaceted journey, I will say. And you know, when you asked me what sparked it, the first thing that comes to my mind is that I’ll never forget when I was younger and I was branching out on my own, having graduated high school and kind of sorting through what I wanted to do with my life from there. And I I attempted college a couple of times. It wasn’t the right fit for me at the time, and I’ll never forget my mother saying, Just follow your heart, follow your heart and you cannot go wrong. And, you know, years and years and years later to this day, you know, those those words just ring in my ear because I really do feel that her saying that gave me the permission to really find out who I was, what I wanted out of life and what really sparked me, what really lit me up and what felt in alignment. So I will say that I’ve I’ve had the luxury since my young adult life to really explore what I was passionate about and explore what my purpose is and really find that out. And along the way, in my early 20s, I discovered spirituality by way of asking the bigger questions like, Why are we here? What is all this? Why does this exist for really? What is the purpose of being? And I aligned with spiritual mentors.
[00:04:34] And I had a tight community of close friends that, you know, we kind of came together and we’re asking those questions really exploring at a young age together. And and that’s why I really discovered my passion for personal growth, development, the human design, human potential. And I found myself just really gravitating towards thought leaders and spiritual mentors, reading lots of books and going to seminars and all of that alongside. That I was an athlete and I became a professional athlete in my mid-20s, which took me down to living in Lake Tahoe, California. And I, after a few years of that, I realized that it was time I just had this kind of light bulb moment and a calling inside. It was like an inner knowing in an intuitive hit that it was time to get get a move on with figuring out what was going to be a purposeful expression for me. And that’s where I discovered body working and enrolled in massage therapy school. And so having been an avid athlete throughout my life, I was really excited about that because that’s on a physical level, what opened me up to really dive into learning more about the human potential and human design. So I would say I started out in the physical arena and and I took that to Breckenridge, Colorado, and I opened up a wellness center where I could merge my passion for the mountains and and being on the slopes with with healing and working with high performance athletes.
[00:06:40] And then I started to open up into more of the spiritual arena and I became over the course of a few years, of course, I became a certified reiki master and teacher. So here I just started to kind of slowly but surely throughout the course of my professional career start to peel back the physical, the spiritual. And then what that brought me into was a lot of the mental mindset work. I was a success and mindset coach for for some time as well. And then I found from that experience, working one on one with many, many primarily women entrepreneurs, that the emotional arena of the self is the health of that and the balance and of the emotional arena has so much to do with achieving success and fulfillment in life that it’s not just about putting putting our bodies in forward motion and using our mental and intellect to drive our passions and our dreams that in order to achieve true success, that I discovered that the emotional piece was largely important so that I hope that answers your question kind of gives the viewers here an overview of how I kind of found my way into emotional and mindset mastery and how that how I integrate that into working with entrepreneurs and in becoming leaders in their life.
[00:08:21] I love that and you know, it is. It’s an interesting journey that we go through and you know, and some people start early, some people come to it late. It seems like you’re everything is happening for a reason. You know you, you are, you know, becoming an athlete and then, you know, then starting to do massage. And I can see how they all they were all sort of building blocks, one upon the other and giving you that different experience and knowledge and skills that you’re able to then use today, with all of that behind you to really be able to help your clients now. So that’s very cool. You know, one of the things that I know that you are, I guess, probably passionate about really is leadership. And I know you talk in particular about feminine leadership. So how how do you describe feminine leadership versus just plain old ordinary leadership?
[00:09:22] It’s such a good question, Gloria. And a lot of people are asking that question these days because the landscape of of leadership really is changing and it’s changing rapidly by way of women asking for more and people of minority asking for more equality. We are really leaning into more of the feminine characteristics of being right now. The pendulum is swinging from the patriarch into the matriarch and and it’s a it’s a natural evolution that I, I feel and see and observe that is that is happening. And and also again, driven by the. The desire for a more equitable world, a more harmonious world, I think that right now people are really waking up and have been waking up for some time to the truth that life driven in the masculine has us limping along a little bit. It’s like having four wheels and only two of them on the ground because without the feminine brain being brought into the fold, we are leaving out a humongous opportunity for really, truly even more progress and enriching growth, not just the material acquisitions that the the masculine is so driven by. So the traditional and I will say masculine oriented leadership tends to be very focused on. Again, it’s it’s very material, it’s in the physical and then the mental arenas, whereas feminine leadership really resides more in the emotional and in the spiritual arenas. So when when I describe feminine leadership, what that essentially means is looking into more feminine attributes, feminine qualities and the the female nature and bringing those into the fold, such as inclusion, connection, community intuition and really looking at direction and leadership and guiding a team through the lens of abundance and through the lens of of true empathy and support. So these these are some examples of what I see and have been experiencing people really craving and wanting to be brought more into their experience, whether it’s in running a business, being an employee for a corporation or being, you know, the the head of maybe a franchise, it is an entrepreneurial driven corporation, for example. So yeah, I guess we’ll we’ll start there.
[00:12:45] Well, I like that. And what was coming to me was that I I think another way to possibly look at it as well is that leadership is is more of the head. It’s the it’s the logical part where is feminine leadership is probably more heart driven. That is where that connection and intuition comes from. So when we do need one, you can’t have one without the other. You don’t have a very good working body. If you’ve only got a brain, if you only got at heart, you need them both working together. So to be able to put them back into balance, I think, is definitely the way we need to go going forward. What has been your experience in helping people to to see that, do you find our people get that concept like right away or do or does it take a little education? I would. I would say, what? What’s been your experience
[00:13:42] In my experience, working one on one with my private clients, for example, the my clients are, they’re so ready for it. They just it’s like they’re just soaking it up because it’s something that has just been so void or missing or just really suppressed within them as women making headway in the world. As you know, women take on so much, you know, we we we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, but we have a lot of pressure on our shoulders because it’s for women in the modern era. We are not just the mothers and nurtures, we are the mothers. The nurtures the career women in the business, women. And so we by nature will never leave out that caring, nurturing side of ourselves. We bring that into all of what we do in order to make headway in our career and to float the boat. And so what women are truly finding is that without bringing more of the feminine attributes into the fold of their work and their daily focuses that they’re finding themselves being very burnt out, feeling overwhelmed and feeling like they need to shrink to fit and really, truly not showing up as fully expressed and authentically who they are. Because in order to fit within the very masculine parameters of of driving, you know, success and revenues and achievement in the workforce and in business, you know, a woman will find herself leaving a big part of herself out in order to go, go, go and always be in that forward.
[00:15:39] Motion action and mentally solving problems through to solutions also can contribute to burnout because again, not tapping into that intuitive more, let’s let’s look at a solution. Let’s look for a solution that is going to be for the better of the whole, not just the self or the self being the company or the people at the top, for example, it’s more feminine is more of an all inclusive approach. So it’s, you know, women are craving this. They are ready. They’re wanting to be able to bring all of themselves into the work that they do. They don’t want to leave their femininity at home and show up as you know, just this, this hard, you know, strong woman that’s ready to put on her construction hat and, you know, drive drive the day. Women need spaciousness, they need nurture. They need to feel that there is space for their emotions to be a part of of the process, which ties into their big giving hearts. And so, so yes, I think women are really calling for this. And and I’m just really I’m so inspired by this work because I come from a long line of of leaders of women leaders in my family. And so I think it’s just kind of a natural given trait that I’m picking up and I’m I’m allowing to just channel through my work. I’ve been listening, leaning in and just really reading the evidence following the signs. And and that’s how I came to this, this work.
[00:17:39] Well, that’s awesome. And yeah, I I know certainly for how I have felt even in my business and how I felt at the beginning and and a lot of times, you know, even my husband would joke like, Oh, what are you going to retire me? And you know, and and I, you know, he said it half kiddingly, but at the same time, it was like I took on that added pressure of like, I’ve got to perform, I’ve got to perform instead of relaxing into, you know, focusing in on doing what I love and and then trusting that the money is going to come from that. But when I’m putting pressure on myself, then I tend to choke things off and then nobody’s happy.
[00:18:19] So absolutely, I couldn’t agree more and. And that it is very feminine to allow yourself the space to stay focused in your work and allow your intuition to guide you. And having that trust and that abundance perspective, that’s very feminine. And you know, guys, they they don’t they don’t always get it or they don’t get it as quickly as we do. Because again, being women, we tend to, you know, be very comfortable and all of the feminine qualities and and ways of being and, you know, men are just more comfortable. It’s in their comfort zone because the feminine and masculine channels have, you know, we have as women and men, we are largely conditioned, you know, with within the masculine or patriarchal expectations and ways of being and same for women. But it doesn’t mean that just because you’re a woman, you are going to be more feminine. And just because you’re a man, you’re going to be more masculine. There’s there’s actually a natural, feminine and masculine ratio that each individual has within them, and their gender doesn’t dictate which which how that ratio falls into place. I think it’s really interesting. I have a little quiz that I do with my clients to find out where is their natural, feminine masculine ratio? Because when we understand how that is playing through, then they can. Then there’s a there’s a certain level of self-acceptance that they find within that process of like, Oh yeah, OK, well, that’s why, you know, I really respond well to these more masculine approaches or these more or why I need the more more of the feminine. And so just because you’re a woman in business or you’re a woman, you know, in career doesn’t mean that you, you know you, you’re going to operate primarily out of the feminine, like there’s there’s masculine and feminine within each and every one of us. So it’s about really identifying what works for you and what needs to be brought into the fold so that you can be fully expressed and and to stand in your life and enjoy your work. You know, as authentically you.
[00:21:12] Thank you for that, I appreciate seeing that explanation, and it leads me to, I think you’ve kind of touched on it a little bit, but are there or I should say actually what are maybe some other key distinction say between feminine power and masculine power? But I know also a lot of people say it’s like divine feminine power and divine masculine power even. How do you define that? Is that different than just saying, you know, you’re acting masculine or feminine?
[00:21:49] So divine power, in my perspective and learning is your your connection to source energy or your higher power and and divinity essentially and power when we are talking about divine power. What that really is is an authentic power, which is an internal power, a power that is found within the self as opposed to an external, ego driven power. Mm-hmm. So divine power can again be translated as authentic power because it’s authentically who rooted and who you really are, which is an expression or extension of source energy or connected to your higher power. So definitely branches into the more spiritual perspectives here. When we start to lean in and talk about divine power and the definition of all of that and power just power in itself as we’ve we’ve come to learn what that is, is, is, is force and its strength and its driving. And it’s a generative quality, actually. And that’s why it is. You asked what what more specifically would a masculine or feminine attribute show up as the generative quality, which is that’s why the physical manifestation and material acquisition that’s very masculine. And in fact, we have to have the masculine. That’s all part, the masculine is all part of manifestation actually, right? When you think about the law of attraction, for example, right? It’s it’s essentially a big begins with an intent intention and then focusing your energy on ultimately attracting to you the like match of your focus.
[00:23:53] And so the that’s the feminine side and then the masculine side of manifestation is the the actual material physical form coming into being. So so that’s that’s a little bit about how the masculine shows up. And for women, I would say, let’s let’s use the example of. Our emotions, because emotions is, you know, the the feminine, the divine feminine houses, the emotional arena, whereas the divine masculine houses the intellect so. When we are talking about a woman who is balanced in leadership, she is connected to the pathway to her heart and she is she is connected to her emotions with a certain level of skill and emotional intelligence that allows her to not react but to respond. And and so where I find such purpose and importance in the work that I do with women is you read in my bio talking about healing and releasing the past, right? So when when we have emotional triggers as women being very emotional and having a lot of hormones going on and all of that, our ability to respond versus react is crucial when it comes to leading and not just leading in business, not just leading in the workplace, but leading in our in our home lives, leading in our relationships, leading as parents, leading as as partners.
[00:25:56] And that’s where it all begins. I always say leadership begins within and it begins with harnessing your emotional intelligence and learning how to manage your emotions by getting really connected to and really clear about where did your emotional triggers begin? Where did they start? And usually our emotional triggers are created by a reaction to who we believed we needed to be in order to get our core needs met. And if you if you follow the trail all the way back to your kind of your circumstances and the environment that you were raised within and who your parents were, who the primary role models in your in your life were, and the beliefs and the perspectives and values and their ways of being a behavior that were brought to those circumstances for you that helped curate who you are, who helped to develop your personality as in your life, then then we can start to unfold the responses to those circumstances, responses to the experiences that we had way back in our story that again fed into our learned behavior. And identity that we adopted by way of believing this is who we needed to be and how we needed to act in order to get our needs met.
[00:27:43] So if it’s rooted in fear and scarcity. Then a trigger response is going to be expressed through, say, a control, you know, a control mechanism, for example, and and it will be expressed through what will show up as an imbalance in your power. Right. And so for women in the workplace, this is very unattractive. It’s very unattractive for women to be control freaks and to be be bullies and muscle their way to getting what they want right? Or emotional manipulation being emotionally manipulative in order to get their way. So that’s how it shows up, if we are not, we are not resolved within with our old baggage. Right. So becoming a leader, becoming a really strong, healthy leader, an empowered, centered in your authentic power has a lot to do with peeling back the layers and doing that inner healing work in order to release what isn’t going to serve you and who you need to be and the identity that you so desire within yourself to create in your life here and now and moving forward so that you can fulfill your heart’s desires and your purpose inspired mission. Mm-hmm.
[00:29:16] Yeah. So much there, because it’s it really is. It’s these things that happen to us when we’re younger and we’ve just, you know, either, you know, we even made up a story about what that meant. And so when something similar happens, it’s like it’s this automatic response. So it’s a matter from what I’m understanding. You’re saying is that we’ve got to start no one becoming aware of those situations and try to be able to match it up and then say, OK, that’s how I reacted in the past. How can I choose a different way of responding, actually, instead of reacting, which I love that that you’re saying because it really is important because I know I’ve seen in my own life, even just personally where there were times when something happens, somebody said something and I reacted. And because a lot of times it just comes automatically and then it’s like, Oh crap, I didn’t really mean to say that that was not know now. Now that was definitely an automatic thing. And and through work I’ve done, it’s like, OK, I have to like, remember to kind of stop and think, take a breath, maybe. And and I don’t know if that’s some of, you know, how do you what’s maybe like one key thing that you do and working with clients to kind of help people to be able to start responding rather than reacting?
[00:30:47] Well, first, allow me to say that yes, I’ve been there millions and millions of times as well. Gloria and I know that, you know, we all have and it is. It’s that like foot in your mouth kind of moment where you’re like, Oh, I did. That’s not who I wanted to be. Right? I. Who was that?
[00:31:10] You need to go take a time out because sit down on the sidelines, right? And and so and that’s why emotional mastery is so key and and why it’s so important and not just important but empowering. You know, it’s it’s when we can we can come to a place where we’re able to pause and take that breath before we respond and then we respond through a loving, more abundant perspective and energy, right? So. So your question how do we get there is everything starts with intention. So the way that I like to guide my clients is to set a daily intention for themselves. What is your intention today? Your intention could be my intention today is to be more loving today than I was yesterday. Right? My intention today is to respond with abundance. My intention today is to be in love, be in the space of love, because unconditional love is also how housed in the arena of the divine, feminine and unconditional love is our natural way of being. And so anything that isn’t love is actually fear. It’s not hate. A lot of people think that hate is the opposite of love, but the opposite of love is actually fear. Yeah, and and so. Unconditional love is one of the things that I love to teach is it’s it’s about coming into self-love and acceptance, and so back to the daily intention when you can get really clear about what your intentions are.
[00:32:59] And then you practice saying those words to yourself over and over and over again. You see, everything is vibration, everything is energy and even the words that we speak and the thoughts that we think so. And back to the law of attraction, we will attract to us the like match of the energy that we are sending out. So. So here we have it this. It’s about being becoming a self responsible. It’s about becoming radically responsible for who you’re being and what you’re creating in your life. So if you take inventory in your life, in any area and you’re not liking the results, then it’s not. To it’s not about waiting for circumstances to change, to dictate how we feel, it’s about taking control of our mental emotional. Capacity to create the reality that we want to be living to create and manifest the results that we want, and it starts within and it starts within those moments in between. Right. It’s it’s it’s in the details, it’s it’s in the details, it’s in those finite moments and and we have a choice in every single moment of our lives to choose what our intention is. So that’s where I begin with my clients is to get really clear about what their intentions are.
[00:34:32] Yeah, I love that and I love how you also said that we have a choice. We get to decide how we want to be, how we want to feel, how we want to think. And so often we act as if, you know, like, you know, life is just dictating this stuff, but we have the power to do this. We don’t have to just let circumstances define how we react. We don’t even have to let our old patterns of behavior. How we were, you know, brought up. I know for I don’t know, I was probably going back a few years, but I know it was sort of this big thing that, you know, people would like blame their parents for how they turned out. And I know God rest her soul. And I think my sister had a lot of blame for my mom and how she turned out, but it doesn’t serve you to do that. Instead, it’s like, OK, they did the best they could. Now, what can I do now if I don’t want to be like that? How can I move forward?
[00:35:32] Absolutely. I agree entirely and becoming self responsible releases that blame. You know, and it doesn’t only just release blame on others or for others, it also releases blame for yourself and shame and guilt. These are very oppressive emotions that we carry. You know, if we are carrying along with us along for the ride, you know where it’s like moving through peanut butter. So when we release these lower vibrational emotions in our lives by way of choosing a new perspective or choosing the meaning, that’s going to be more in alignment with our natural way of being, which is unconditionally loving right back to the love. Then we turn the taps on and life starts to flow because again, we we attract to us the energy that we’re sending out and where there’s fear, there’s resistance, where there is those where exist, those those lower vibratory emotions there, it will cause resistance because it is rooted in fear and and a scarcity perspective. So when you raise your vibration through higher vibratory emotions such as abundance and love and trust and harmony and honesty and all of those, then then we are releasing the resistance and we’re opening up and allowing life to flow, allowing life to flow much more.
[00:37:17] And the truth of it is, is that we learn by way of contrast. We wouldn’t know what scarcity was without abundance, or we wouldn’t know what fear felt like without love and vice versa. Right. And our challenges and our stories and our experiences, they help. They help us wake up to the truth of who we are because innately we do strive for a harmonious existence and because when you when we are in alignment with who we really are, which is again unconditional love, then unconditional love produces a feeling of harmony and produces feelings of happiness and joy. And again, innately, that’s what we strive towards. So when we’re not feeling that we know it, we have that emotional guidance system, right? That tells us that that that’s not what we’re feeling right now. And when you’re not feeling that, that is an opportunity to ask, why? Why am I not feeling this way right now? What can I do to shift out of that, you know, out of this? Likely it’s a thought process and a belief, which is a thought that is, you know, repetitive within you. So that’s a lot of the the emotional mindset work that I do as well.
[00:38:46] I tried. It just occurred to me because some of the stuff you’ve heard you’re saying, I’ve heard other folks say, who who do you listen to, like who are your inspirations and in your business and things like that, who are your mentors? And it doesn’t have to be someone that you talk to, but even someone that you follow?
[00:39:10] Yes. Two of my favorites are Esther Hicks, who is world renowned for the teachings and the law of Attraction, and as well as Gary Zukav, who wrote Seat of the Soul and his newest book, Universal Human.
[00:39:27] Oh, OK, that’s a name I have not heard of before, so I’m going to have to check him out.
[00:39:31] Yes, I highly recommend Gary Zukav teachings his books. He is an extraordinary thought leader that I feel is truly blessing humanity with his teachings and perspectives around authentic power and the work of know leaning into love.
[00:39:56] I like that one thing I sometimes like to ask my guests when I remember, too, is What do you wish you had known way back when you were starting this journey? And, you know, actually even just starting your business that yes, that you know, you wish you had known then that you you’ve discovered along the way.
[00:40:21] What I discovered along the way is that becoming an entrepreneur is truly stepping into Ascension School. And what what came to a very big surprise to me is the accelerated growth it would require in order to. Find the confidence within myself to really put myself out there, which has been a journey for me. It definitely has been a journey and and I find, you know, the more and more people that I work with, it’s it’s a shared journey. It’s a shared experience. You know it. It really does take a solid foundation within you, rooted in your self-esteem, how you feel about yourself, your self-confidence, and to really put your work out there in the world. And so, you know, I’ve always been open to and love personal growth and development. So it’s I’ve I’ve always been up for the journey, but. I I think that what has been a big surprise is. Is just the journey of entrepreneurship itself and how it’s not just like, let’s just peel the surface layers here, it’s going to bring you intimately close with all of what has, you know, what is calling to be healed. And so that so that you can truly come into your fullest expression of the most authentic you so that you can truly fulfill your mission as a heart centered, purpose led entrepreneur. You’ve got to be up for the journey. You’ve got to be ready for the growth and and to surrender to really surrender.
[00:42:37] Yeah. And like that, it’s like, and I’m thinking, Yeah, you’ve got to be ready for whether you’re ready or not. It’s going to. It’s going to come. And I know I had that as well. It was, and I write about it in my book. It was like all of these, like my money stuff came up in running the business and things that I hadn’t even really realized, but the beliefs limiting beliefs that it picked up from my mom. And you know, and I didn’t have the only entrepreneur in our family was my uncle, which was my mom’s brother, and she thought he was a crook. So, you know, it’s like, Oh, and now I want to be in business for myself, just like I have to. I had to unpack some of that stuff. So yeah, it’s it’s interesting. I think that people who get on this entrepreneurial journey don’t always realize what what’s going to unfold for them besides the just the regular stuff. I’m trying to build a business, but there’s a lot of mental personal growth that can come along with it and can be really beneficial. And I’m grateful for it.
[00:43:42] Yes, yes, I agree. I agree completely. And you know, money really is a perfect place for us to take a look at our scarcity versus abundance perspectives and beliefs. Absolutely. And you know, I grew up in a household where my parents believe that wealthy people were evil. And so there goes that that there’s right and a very classic one, too. And so I’ve had to really look into that as well and do a lot of work around what I believe I deserve to be, do and have. And and again, that’s that’s really. Been a cause for me to connect deeper with who I am as a spiritual, as a spirit, being in a human body, you know, being very well aware that I am a spirit incarnate in this human vehicle and I have my spirit and I have my personality. And you know, part of the what lights me up about human design and and accessing our human potential is that when we can combine the understanding of the two, then it’s like, Oh, now we’ve got, you know, we’ve got this powerful, beautiful source, you know, connected spirit with this amazing, fascinating human body, which is just has this intricate design. And when we when we can tap into the power of of the two combined, I really, truly believe that anything is possible. And you know, and I do want to share as well that, you know, I’ve been talking a lot about and we’ve been talking a lot about philosophy and, you know, perspectives and approaches to growth.
[00:45:50] And you know, I have my my own journey rooted in, you know, self self-discovery and discovering my love for myself and confidence started back when I was eight years old. I met my biological father for the first time and he was in my life for just a short amount of time, a couple of months. And then he disappeared. And long story short, I went, you know, years and years, another thirty five years in my life without really even knowing if he was still alive. And so I would say when you asked me what what came as a surprise along my journey is that, you know, there was a point in time when I realized that. Really, truly learning to love myself in a deeper way than I’d ever known before was going to be what it was going to take for me to continue to persevere and find the resilience and the courage within to continue to, you know, dedicate myself to my path and my purpose. Day after day after day and and not ever give up. And and that that path, that journey of finding that unconditional love for myself again was spurred when I was abandoned by my father when I was a young girl, and he never showed up to say goodbye.
[00:47:24] So he said he was going to say, Come by to say goodbye. You never showed. We never knew why. We never knew where he went. Wow. And I had a stepfather. So there wasn’t like this big scramble to figure out where my father went because, you know, I had a cohesive family. My my stepfather raised me since I was nine months old, so he was the father that I knew. And and, you know, I think my, you know, my mother just didn’t really want to bother with it, and we were busy living our lives and she was busy raising three kids. I have an older brother as well and a twin sister. And so fast forward to a year ago, I decided to take a DNA test. And again, long story short, I discovered that my father was alive and well and living in Maui. So we I reached out, we connected and we’ve been developing a relationship over the course of the past year. But I will say, Gloria, that I I wasn’t, you know, I asked myself, how can I never thought about that before? Like I could have taken a DNA test years ago, you know? I mean, there was. But I will say that, you know, like you were saying before, everything happens for a reason.
[00:48:47] There’s a purpose in everything. And my coming to that realization that that was an option to take a DNA test and and really just to solve that mystery solved. That question mark came by way of doing the work that I needed for myself in order to be ready for that experience. And and the reason why we’ve successfully, I believe one of the reasons that we’ve successfully formed a relationship over the past year is that I was able to enter into that experience through unconditional love and compassion. Yeah, that I’ve not even once since the very first phone call or my initial letter to him held him in a place of blame or shame. And I came with an open heart, a forgiving heart, and that really allowed for a truly amazing experience that, you know, has just blown me away and and we connected in a way that I, I didn’t expect that really surprised me, and that has been absolutely, very delightful. So the power of learning how to love yourself coming into that unconditional love and acceptance for yourself is is remarkable. And and how that can translate in your life, in your relationships, in the work that you do. It’s I really, truly believe that the key to a successful and fulfilling heart is fulfilling. Life is through the heart is through a whole heart.
[00:50:38] No, thank you for sharing that story, that is amazing, and I, you know. Blessings, I’m being able to reconnect like that, and I think you’re absolutely right that it it it happened now because you’ve done the work and that you were able to do that. And and so I wish you much love and, you know, good wishes for you to continue to nurture that relationship because you’re never too old to connect with your dad. And even if he wasn’t the dad who raised you, he is still your biological father, and there’s no reason why you can’t have a good relationship with him. So that’s so cool. Thank you. Yeah. Well, this conversation has taken a lovely, interesting turn, and I’m really glad that you decided to share that. That’s so very cool. One thing I wanted to ask you is if someone is listening to this and wants to know more about the work that you do and feminine leadership, and maybe they feel drawn to you and they’d like to learn more. What is the best way for someone to to connect with you?
[00:51:50] Oh, yes, absolutely. So my website is Star Hayward. It’s just my name with a dot com. And so please come and explore my website. Reach out to me there. My email address is star at star, so I’m very approachable and love to hear from people so they’re more than welcome to connect. And and I’ll also share a link with you that they can download my free workbook called Leading the Feminine Way without sacrificing your emotional sensitivities. So that’s a really great way to get in touch and downloading the workbook. Will will subscribe you to my email community and and then we will be connected there as well.
[00:52:42] Oh, very good. Yes, I will definitely have the link to that in the show notes. So that sounds fabulous. And so you definitely want to take advantage of that. Yeah, this has been really great talking with you, and I knew I knew it was going to be. I knew it was going to be an awesome interview. So thank you for being here and for sharing your wisdom and continue to do the good work in the world.
[00:53:07] Thank you as well, Gloria. Likewise, and this has been so lovely. Thank you so much for having me today.
[00:53:14] Well, thank you and thank all of you out there who have been listening and watching on YouTube. I appreciate all our subscribers, and if you want to connect with me, you can go to live Love Engage podcast. That’s where you can catch up on all the other episodes you may have missed, and we also love reviews. If you want to go to podcast forward slash live love engage. I would love to hear your comments and you know, let us know what you think and. Until next time, as always, I encourage you to go out and live fully. Love deeply and engage authentically.
[00:53:56] Did you know that a majority of entrepreneurs tend to discount the importance of their work and a good number feel their success is simply due to luck? I know from personal experience that self-doubt can keep you from having the kind of life and business you desire. That’s why I’ve created a free guide called Uniquely You How to Move From Self-doubt to Self-love in four simple steps to claim your free guide. Go to live love, engage dot gift. That’s live love. Engage dot G I F.T.