How to Open Your Heart and Receive in Midlife

You’ve spent decades giving, doing, and managing. But when was the last time you truly let yourself receive? Today, we’re exploring the surprising connection between what you can’t see and what you haven’t yet allowed in, and how choosing to open your heart might be the most powerful act of design you can undertake in midlife right now.

In this deeply personal solo episode, I take you into the second pillar of the L.O.V.E. Method by sharing the story of how a single workshop exercise unearthed a childhood memory that literally and figuratively restored my vision after 40+ years of wearing glasses and contact lenses.

This conversation is for the high-achieving, heart-centered woman who has been living through the lenses of past conditioning without realizing it, and is ready to stop over-correcting and start allowing. You’ll walk away with a light language transmission, a practical homework assignment, and a new understanding of what it really means to design your life, your way.

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In this episode, you’ll discover:

  • How the physical act of not wanting to see can become a metaphor and a literal pattern for blocking the gifts available to you in midlife.
  • Why women, especially high-achieving nurturers, are wired to give but struggle deeply to receive — and how this shows up in business, relationships, and even a simple compliment.
  • A light language transmission to help you dissolve old protective patterns and open to clarity, even if you’ve never experienced energy work before.
  • One simple piece of homework that will shift how you move through your week.
  • The journaling practice I use every morning to stay connected to my higher self and invite wisdom in, even on the days I don’t know what to write.

Resources & links mentioned:

  • Live. Love. Engage. by Gloria Grace Rand — available at gloriarand.com and on Amazon
  • Morning Pages practice — inspired by The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
  • Previous episode: “Letting Go to Live on Purpose After 50” (Pillar 1 of the L.O.V.E. Method)
  • NewRealityTV.com — available on the Roku and Amazon Fire apps

Design Your Life, Your Way – next steps:

TRANSCRIPT

Introduction: The L.O.V.E. Method for Midlife Women — Pillar 2 Overview

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

Namaste.

Have you noticed that it seems like most people over 50 are wearing glasses?

Well, I used to be one of those people until a workshop that I attended 10 years ago not only changed my vision, but it really changed my life. And this was actually months before I was given the L.O.V.E. Method that I now use in my coaching practice for midlife women.

And I wanted to — I thought today would be a good day to share this story of how my eyes were opened, and especially how it also relates to opening my heart, because I want to dive into the second pillar of the L.O.V.E. Method. Open your heart to receive. And I talked about the L in L.O.V.E. a couple of weeks ago, or, well actually last month. I guess it was — it was a few more, more than a few episodes ago. And I’ll have the link to that in the show notes, but I believe it was called Letting Go to Live on Purpose. So you can check that out if you missed that — man, you shouldn’t have missed it if you’re subscribed. Right? But anyway, let me get to it.

Nearsightedness After 50: When Your Glasses Were More Than a Vision Correction

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

So here’s the deal. I have been wearing glasses since I was 6 years old. I have a memory of myself in first grade having to sit at — I had actually like a — like almost at the teacher’s desk or something, but like sitting, sitting really near the front of the classroom because I couldn’t see. I couldn’t see the blackboard, the — you know — it was too fuzzy from where I guess my original seat was in the back of the class. And again, I don’t know why they didn’t just change desks, but whatever, that’s my memory anyway. And I do know that I did have to then go to the eye doctor. I was diagnosed with being nearsighted. And I had — and I wore glasses after that. And I — you know — and then switched to contact lenses when I got older.

But what I didn’t know then — I just thought this was a normal thing. You know, sometimes kids are nearsighted. But those lenses were actually a crutch that was really protecting me from the discomfort of my true vision.

And that’s what I discovered when I attended this workshop, appropriately enough called the Gift. Because during an exercise during that workshop, it opened my heart to receive the gift of — of sight that day. I mean, to restore my vision, truly.

Healing Childhood Trauma: The Workshop Exercise That Restored Her Sight

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

So how did all this come about? Well, the facilitator of the workshop invited us to participate in an exercise where we were encouraged to — I just remember, I remember standing up. I don’t know I remember exactly the full part of this, but basically it was to, you know, close our eyes and then remember. Try to remember a time in our life when something happened that we didn’t want to see.

And, you know, they probably played music while this was going on. And so I’m standing there. I do remember that. I remember — I can visualize the room that I was in.

I’m standing there and close my eyes. And a memory surfaced. I have no idea how old I was, obviously under six, most likely, so maybe four or five. But I remember going into our — like walking into our living room, I think, and seeing a strange woman lying on the couch sleeping.

And all I could surmise in this memory — or I think of putting myself back as a child envisioning — was that this wasn’t a relative, this was a stranger. And it freaked me out, obviously, because I didn’t think about that memory for a very, very, very, very, very long time. For decades. Until this exercise when that popped back into my head.

Wow, getting — I’m getting emotional. I get emotional. If you’ve been a subscriber of this show, you know, if you watch me enough, possibly on New Reality TV now, you know, I tend to get emotional. And so I’m getting emotional thinking about it.

Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs Rooted in Childhood: Gloria’s Story

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

But here’s the deal. My dad was an alcoholic. And as an adult in that situation now at that workshop, when this memory surfaced, what occurred to me was that I think why this freaked me out was because I think this woman was someone my dad brought home from a bar. And maybe she was too drunk to drive, I’m not sure, but I guess he couldn’t leave her there. I don’t know. Didn’t want her to drive home. So he was being a gentleman, I suppose, and had her sleep at home with, you know, my mom and me under the same roof.

And also in reflecting about this, to get ready for this episode today — because again, this didn’t occur to me even at the time during the workshop — is I know that my mom talked to a divorce attorney when I was little. And I think that this was the straw that broke the camel’s back for her. And I can, you know, putting myself in my mom’s shoes — yeah, I would be like, that’s it, buddy. I mean, this is ridiculous. You’re bringing your drunken cronies home to our house when we’ve got a young daughter living here, you know, an impressionable child. And you’re doing this.

She didn’t go through with the divorce then.

Oh, Mom. But yeah, I think that’s what caused it. So again, I’m suspecting that I was probably hearing my parents fighting, you know, talk of divorce. All of this stuff got into my brain that I then buried.

I then buried it because I certainly did not remember that she was filing for divorce. I didn’t find out about that until I was a teenager when it came up somehow in a conversation with my mom.

Vision Healing and Emotional Release: What Happens When You Finally See Clearly

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

So this trauma — all I can call it, I think — is what really prompted me to not want to see the world very clearly anymore. And I’m so grateful for the gift because when I had that realization at the workshop, it’s like I felt already that I could see even though I was wearing contact lenses at the time.

What I started to do, though, was take my lenses off and just practice seeing if I could see without them — see if I could read, or if I could see a sign, if I could read the fine print far away in the distance. And I could.

So I started leaving the lenses off for longer and longer periods, and eventually I left them off for a whole day. And I was shocked and amazed and so grateful that especially in bright light, when I’m outside in particular — but even inside, I mean inside if I’m in a darkened room, sometimes it’s still a little there, you know, I don’t see quite as clear. But outside, 100%. I can drive.

I can drive without glasses now. It’s pretty remarkable. I can see signs, I can read them. I can see fine print. I don’t need to wear bifocal lenses anymore or reading glasses.

So that was an amazing thing that happened to me. And again, thinking about this for the show today, it really made me think about how my eyes were opened and my heart was — oh, number one, I did open my heart, even though I hadn’t received that download about the L.O.V.E. Method yet. But I opened myself up. I opened my heart up to the possibility, you know, letting the facilitator lead us in this exercise, that I would come up with a memory that would help me explain why I couldn’t see well.

So if you’ve been wearing protective glasses, whether literally or metaphorically, perhaps your whole life — you know, it might feel a little intimidating right now to imagine that you could actually open your heart to receive a gift of sight, or to receive wisdom, guidance, love.

Light Language Healing Transmission: Clearing Energetic Blocks in Midlife

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

But before we do that — before I talk about how you can go about opening your heart so that you can design your life on your terms — I thought this would be a good time to help you clear that fog. I’m not going to necessarily — I don’t know the exact wording for the workshop that I took, but I have a tool now that I use that has helped me to release other blocks that I have because, you know, we all have stuff.

[Gloria takes a sip of water]

We all have stuff. So I want to share a light language transmission now to help you to dissolve whatever protective pattern you might be keeping. And it might be something that you’re not even aware of. Like, I wasn’t aware of that memory. It had been buried for decades in the recesses of my brain.

So I would invite you to set an intention that the message that you’re going to hear will clear away that fog and will allow you to see what you’re missing.

So I will encourage you, as always, if you are listening to this — especially if you’re watching it somewhere, although it’s possible you could be watching this at the gym, you know, maybe you’re on a treadmill. I don’t know. So if you’re watching this there — but if you are watching or listening to it while you are operating machinery, I would encourage you to pause this and come back to it when you can be sitting down somewhere in a quiet place and where you can just focus for a couple of minutes and allow — like I said, set an intention.

Set an intention for what you want to clear up to help you to gain some clarity in your life. And as always, just allow whatever comes through to wash over you. Don’t try to understand it. If you do, great. But if not — nine times, 99 times out of 100, I would say you’re not necessarily going to be able to understand it, and that’s okay.

It’s for your heart, it’s for your soul.

That’s what you want to understand.

So yeah, I would encourage you even to close your eyes. And then I’m setting the intention also for you that the message that you’re going to hear today will help you to see whatever needs to be seen that is for your highest good and the highest good of all.

[Light language transmission]

Okay, hope that felt good. Once you take a deep breath, let’s — let’s all breathe together for a second.

And if anything came up for you during that session — if a memory surfaced — go ahead and pause the recording right now and go journal about it while it’s fresh in your brain.

Because it is possible. And even if nothing did come up for you right now, hold the possibility that it may show up later today or it may show up tomorrow.

And you may be surprised that you might be doing the dishes and all of a sudden, bam, something comes up for you. And when it does, come back to this recording, because now we’re going to talk about how to use that clarity to design your life your way.

[Gloria takes a drink of water]

Designing Your Life Your Way Means Allowing, Not Just Doing

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

Okay. Now. When you hear someone say, okay, you got to design your life your way, you might think that that involves pushing or doing. I mean, design is an active verb after all, you know, and it means to like, do something. You know, you’re actively designing.

But in the context of what we’re talking about today, about opening your heart to receive — so let’s reframe it and let’s think about how designing your life your way could be handled by allowing. Allowing a memory to come up. Allowing yourself to receive help in designing your life.

Why Women Over 50 Struggle to Receive: The Nurturer Trap and Burnout

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

Perhaps — you know, women, high achieving women, and frankly, especially high achieving women — but I think women in general, we are especially in the culture we’ve been in for — well, I’m thinking my entire entire adult life now, and this is going back since the late 80s. Yes, I’m old folks. But it’s about trying to do it all.

You know, this idea of being a superwoman — you’ve got to have the career and have the family. And you know, there’s lots of debate about that, why men can have a career and have a family. But anyway, we’re not going to go there right now. My point is, is that oftentimes we feel that we’ve got to do everything ourselves and we don’t often ask for help because we are — we’re groomed — is coming to mind — that we’re groomed to be caretakers.

But it’s not necessarily that. I think it’s because we are women. We are born to be nurturers. We are endowed with an ability to bear life, whether you do so or not — because you can certainly be a fulfilled woman and not give birth to children, or maybe whether it’s your choice, where perhaps you’re unable to do so or for whatever reason. But you could still be taking care of nieces and nephews or pets or taking care of your friends.

Women are inherently nurturers, and sometimes that becomes a trap because we’re always wanting to take care of everybody else and putting ourselves last.

And that’s a recipe for burnout and stress and all sorts of stuff that is not pleasant. And it tends to then also lead us to be designing our life according to other people’s ideas of what our life should look like instead of what our soul really wants for us.

Releasing Control: Learning to Ask for Help as a Business Owner and Solopreneur

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

And I know one of the easy ways this shows up — a memory was coming to mind of when I was first married and when my husband occasionally did the dishes, I didn’t like the way he did it. Okay. It wasn’t my way. It wasn’t the way I was used to. And so that’s sort of an example of sometimes how we are. You know, we get to be where we’re controlling how we want things done.

And as a business owner, you know, your business is your baby, and so that’s what you’re taking care of. And especially if you’re a solopreneur and maybe you’re a service provider like I am — when you start your business, you’re doing everything. You’re the one putting on all the different hats. The customer service, the accounting, the client fulfillment, everything — marketing, sales, all of it yourself.

And eventually there gets to be a point where that’s not sustainable anymore and you need to ask for help. And that’s a thing. Because when you’re constantly doing everything, then it’s depleting your cup. And you can’t then run a business or design a life when you’re serving from an empty cup.

How to Receive Compliments Gracefully: Self-Worth and Receiving Love After 50

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

What else? Oh, there was another point. Oh yeah. Another point I wanted to make. And this was an example too of something I had to learn how to do as well. And I know a lot of other women — I’ve talked to some, I’ve met some, some have been friends, some of them clients — that have talked about how we’re quick to brush off compliments.

So like someone says, oh, you look really nice today. You’re like, oh, you know — or I really like that dress you’re wearing. It’s like, oh gosh, I’ve had that for like 20 years, you know, or something like that. Or oh, your hair looks really nice today. Oh really? I thought I needed to get it cut.

So it’s things like that that we push off instead of receiving. Instead of receiving that wonderful compliment with the grace in which it was endowed, with the love with which it was endowed.

So yeah, one thing I want to tell you is you don’t need permission to change how you’re designing your life. You just need the willingness to stop over-correcting, you know — those lenses we have. Right?

Because when I know that for me, when I learned to really open my heart to receive, I realized I had been blind. Not just with the vision, but blind to my own power. And I was busy managing life through the lenses of past conditioning that I couldn’t really see the grace or the opportunities or the divine blueprint waiting for me.

Opening Your Heart to Receive in Business: Lessons from Live Love Engage

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

And I want to talk some more about how this then shows up — I talked a little bit about how this shows up in say, our personal life, but in business, opening your heart to receive. And I talk about this and I wrote about this in my book Live Love Engage — I talked about it a little bit about how when you’re running your own business and it’s your baby, sometimes you’re reluctant to ask for help. And I know for me, when I finally got to a point where I had to hire a virtual assistant because I couldn’t manage everything myself and it got to be too much — that was an important lesson.

And I also share in the book a story — but I’ll encourage you to buy the book. You can find it on my website. As a matter of fact, if you go to gloriarand.com you’ll see a link to that. But it’s on Amazon and all those other fun places as well.

The $1,000 Gift: A Story About Worthiness and Receiving Abundance

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

But I tell the story about my sister Michaela, who was a massage therapist. And one year she called me around Christmas time, shortly before Christmas, and she said, Gloria, I need your advice about something. One of my clients wants to give me a thousand dollar Christmas bonus. And I feel awkward about accepting it. I don’t know that I should. It just — it’s too much.

Now, if someone wanted to give me a thousand dollar bonus, I’d like to think that I would have been like, thank you, thank you, thank you, and just say thank you, thank you, thank you, and receive it graciously.

And I know where my sister was coming from, though, because I could also see that there would have been a time in my life where I too would have been like, am I worthy to receive this? And so that’s what I talked to her about. I asked her, I was like, okay, well, let me ask you about this client a little bit. Has she been — have you helped her, you know, is she — has she gotten more mobility, or is not in as much pain as when you first started working with her? And she’s like, oh yeah. And in fact, she’s even referred clients to me as well.

So I’m like, Michaela, darling, I love you. Accept the gift, accept the gift. Because this is her way of showing you how much she appreciates the work you’ve done for her. And frankly, it’s a way that she shows how much she loves you.

So my sister’s like, okay, fine, yes, I’ll accept the money. But she didn’t spend it. She says, I’m not going to spend it, I’m just going to tuck it away. And that’s what she did. And years later, when unfortunately my sister was diagnosed with cancer and wasn’t able to work as a massage therapist anymore, we had to pull out that money and use it to help pay bills and things.

So in hindsight now, for me, it was a good idea for her to have kept that money and not spend it right away — to have tucked it away so it came in handy. And I know she appreciated that gift even more then.

Journaling for Clarity: Morning Pages Practice to Connect with Your Higher Self

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

So what is — let’s say the memory on the couch like I had — what is the fear or an old belief or a need to protect that might be clouding your vision right now? Especially as you want to move into this idea of, I want to have a different life for myself. I want to design my life my way.

So I encourage you this week to think about that. You know, do some journaling about it. I’ve talked about this on the podcast before, how the practice of morning pages — I’ve been journaling three pages every morning. Most of it is pretty much nonsense, but every once in a while an insight will come through because I just keep writing. I’m just writing, writing, writing. And if you’ve never done that before, sometimes what I have done is I will write: I don’t know what to write today. I really don’t know what to write today. But I’m going to keep my pen moving on the paper because I know it will help me to suddenly come up with an idea. As long as I just keep writing. So I’m just going to keep writing and then all of a sudden something will click in and I’ll have something to write about. In fact, I was doing that this morning, as a matter of fact.

I didn’t say I don’t want to write about, but I said, okay, higher self, what would you like me to know today? What would be beneficial for me? What should I write? And you know, I kind of did that for a little while and then eventually some information came through.

Midlife Homework: One Act of Receiving That Will Change How You Show Up

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

And then the other thing I would ask you to do today — or well, this week, let’s say until the next episode comes out — this is your homework, okay. Is to commit to one act of receiving this week, especially something that feels uncomfortable.

Maybe it is accepting a compliment and just saying thank you. That’s it. Or maybe it is asking for help. I’ll tell you one other exercise that I had a coach assign to me as I was working on this practice of asking for help — was to enroll my family in one evening of doing everything I asked.

So I got to be Queen Gloria for the afternoon and the evening. And so if I was sitting in front of the TV and I was thirsty, instead of getting up and going to the kitchen and getting myself a glass of water, I would say, hey, Ali, my daughter, can you go grab me a glass of water? Or, you know, I’d say, I’m cold, I need a sweater — can you ask my husband, can you go in the bedroom, go grab me a sweater? Things like that.

Because normally I would just get up and do that stuff myself. But I had to just restrain myself and just be queen for a day and let them take care of me. So maybe you could do that. And you know, even if it’s just for like an evening, you know, for a few hours — enroll your family or significant other or friends or something to do that for you and see how it feels to receive like that. See how it feels.

Or maybe it is asking for help. Maybe you’ve got a coach or an accountability buddy or somebody that you can — maybe you’ve got a question to ask that something is challenging you in your business. You can reach out to them and ask them. And if you want, you could even reach out to me as well if you’ve got — if you want to ask for help, if for some reason you don’t have anyone, I am always available. Okay. I’m not available 24/7, you know what I mean — I’m available by scheduling an appointment.

So if you go to engagewithgloria.com you’ll be taken to my calendar and you can find a time there and we could chat just for a few minutes, you know, 15, 20 minutes, and let’s chat about what’s going on. Where do you need some support in asking for help even. So yeah, I hope you’ll do that. I’ll have that link in the show notes as well.

Receiving as a Spiritual Practice: Opening to Love, Wisdom, and Divine Guidance

GLORIA GRACE RAND:

But yeah, I just want to close today with a reminder for you that for me, opening your heart to receive — you know, it can be about receiving money, it can be about receiving help, it can be about receiving wisdom and insight. And in my book I have lots of other exercises for you to use to be able to practice receiving.

And now I just lost my train of thought. Okay, so — oh, I knew where I was going with this. Yeah. A long time ago — not a long time ago, maybe last year — I talked about, or in the book I talk about, it’s all of these things: the money, the help, all of it — as I mentioned with my sister’s example — is that it’s really about receiving love. And it’s also about opening yourself up to your higher self to receive wisdom and guidance and love from your creator, our creator — whatever you call it: Source, God, or just your own higher self.

But to be able to open yourself up to receive that — because when you can do that, that is what helps to give you the clarity to see your next steps to start designing your life your way.

And that’s what we’re all about here. So thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. If you’re watching on newrealitytv.com, we’re available on the app — there’s a New Reality TV app on Roku and Amazon Fire. So check us out there.

You also will find this on YouTube as well. But go to newrealitytv.com because there are lots of amazing shows on that, not just mine. There’s all sorts of amazing, fascinating things. And I’m just starting to watch some of them myself because, well, you know, there’s only so many hours in the day to spend watching television, but there’s some good stuff on there to really help you, uplift you, and I think will complement you as you go about designing your life your way.

So, again, thanks for being with me today. I hope to see you again next week. And until then, go out and start living boldly and on purpose.

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