On this episode we’re joined by Kerri Hummingbird. Kerri is a soul guide and the host of the Soul Nectar Show. She is the author of “The Second Wave: Transcending the Human Drama,” an international best-seller. She also wrote the award-winning best-selling book “Awakening to Me: One Woman’s Journey to Self-Love,” which is about the early years of her spiritual awakening.
Kerri’s passion is to inspire others to live authentic lives filled with purpose, passion, and positivity. She promotes transformation through mind-shift and teaches people how to turn their challenges into gifts of wisdom. Today she shares her story of healing and how she uses what she’s learned to help others heal too.
On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:
- What the Mother Wound is and how it plays a role in your life.
- How the patriarchy of the now is a mirror.
- Where the Mother Wound comes from.
- What feminine energy is.
- How the patterns of our system ripple forward through mothers.
- Why healing the Mother Wound is actually healing with the earth.
- What Kerri means when she says that life is extremely fair.
- Kerri’s secret desire of all desires.
- How our relationship with our own mothers can shape our lives.
- How Kerri discovered her soul’s curriculum and what that resulted in.
- When Kerri decided to trust her inner voice.
- How finding the shamanic healing path helped Kerri move forward.
- The role that mentors played in Kerri’s healing.
- How Kerri applies what she’s learned to help other women.
- The programs that Kerri offers right now.
Connect with Kerri
Kerri’s Website: https://kerrihummingbird.com/
- Join the Live. Love. Engage. Community
- Intuitive Business Coaching
- The Live. Love. Engage. Book
- Support the Podcast with BuyMeACoffee.com
Enjoying what you’re hearing on Live Love Engage? Make sure you subscribe and leave a 5 STAR – Review at Apple Podcasts – Click here to review, or wherever you listen to your podcasts – such as Spotify, Pandora and iHeart Radio. You can also watch the conversation on YouTube.
[00:00:02] I am Gloria Grace Rand, founder of the Love Method and author of the number one Amazon best seller, Live Love Engage How to Stop Doubting Yourself and start being yourself. In this podcast, we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to live fully, love deeply and engage authentically so you can create a life and business with more impact, influence and income. Welcome to Live, Love, Engage.
[00:00:37] Now, let’s stay and welcome to Live, Love, Engage, I am your host, Gloria Grace Rand, and I am delighted to have an awesome woman on the show today whose pleasure was mine to actually appear on her podcast. So she is Kerri Hummingbird. And I’m going to tell you a little bit more about her in a second. But first off, I just want to welcome you, Kerri, to Live Love Engage.
[00:01:04] Thank you so much for having me here, Gloria. I’m excited to have this conversation.
[00:01:07] Yeah, me too. So so let me enlighten you. For those of you who may not have heard of Kerri before, she is known as a soul guide. And as I mentioned, she is the host of The Soul Nectar Show. She is also a number one international best selling author.
[00:01:26] The second one of her books
[00:01:28] Is The Second Wave Transcending the Human Drama. And she also has another book called Awakening To Me One Woman’s Journey to Self-love, which describes the early years of her spiritual awakening. And she and I are really aligned in this part because she believes, I guess, for one of her missions in life, I suppose, is to inspire people to lead their lives wide awake with authenticity, passion and purpose
[00:01:56] That positively
[00:01:57] Impacts others. And her newest book is already a number one international bestseller. And that’s what I really want to talk about today. It’s called Love is Fierce Healing the Mother Wound. And I’m just that’s all I’m going to say about it right now. So I’m really curious. When I saw that you had written that, I was like, oh, I’m intrigued. What the heck do you mean by the mother wound
[00:02:24] At such a good question? It’s provocative, isn’t it? There is something
[00:02:29] Deep. There’s some
[00:02:30] Recognition. Like there’s something there. It’s. It’s in everything. And it really has to do with.
[00:02:40] Our at the biggest sense, our connection with the divine.
[00:02:47] Whether we feel separate, alone,
[00:02:50] Scared or not cared
[00:02:51] For, not loved, unworthy, or whether we feel that we are part of all that
[00:02:57] Is that we are
[00:02:59] Intricately connected to everything that is in life. And this.
[00:03:07] Is a really a
[00:03:08] Divine feminine awakening, a remembrance of who we really are. And we’ve been living in the ego mind, we’ve been living
[00:03:19] In the the
[00:03:20] Masculine aspect of ourselves
[00:03:23] And we’ve been living in a patriarchy, you know,
[00:03:28] So because everything is like. It’s like fractals
[00:03:32] Of the same
[00:03:34] So, you know.
[00:03:37] The patriarchy that’s been going on on the planet in our cultures for the last thousands of years is a mirror of the patriarchy inside of ourselves, with our mind in control of everything and dominating our emotions and dominating our bodies and dominating, dominating, dominating.
[00:03:55] And sort of belittling the feminine and disempowering it and. Kind of talking, making it seem like it’s crazy or unwanted or unseen or and it’s also the taming
[00:04:11] Of the planet, right?
[00:04:12] It’s the taming of the wild and building concrete jungles. You can see how it’s like in everything, and it certainly is in your relationship with your own biological mother and the mother that you created inside your own consciousness that lives inside you, you know.
[00:04:31] Yeah, you know, it’s interesting, when you were talking, it sort of struck me that I think I I actually interpreted this more from an ego standpoint because I’m thinking healing. The mother wound a wound that mother inflicted upon me. But it sounds like it’s more like the mother has been wounded because of this patriarchal
[00:04:53] Thinking, am I right or not?
[00:04:55] And I think it’s more about, OK, see
[00:04:58] How we’re all connected.
[00:05:00] So if
[00:05:02] We know we can look back through history, probably even in your own ancestral line, you can look back and see examples of women being silenced or women being abused, even women being
[00:05:16] Molested or are raped or. Just could even earn money for herself.
[00:05:23] You know, like there’s so many or told, like, oh, be quiet or don’t be emotional, you’re too sensitive. There’s there’s a lot of ways
[00:05:29] This plays out of, like,
[00:05:31] Things that are feminine. Energy is actually the largest sense or feminine energies. Emotions are feminine energy, your body embodying as a feminine process. So there’s like these feminine principles that have been and women that have been disempowered and trodden upon. And now you’re going to take that disempowered woman.
[00:05:52] The one that’s been abused and told she’s
[00:05:54] Unworthy and she’s not good enough, and she’s like the reason why the whole
[00:05:57] Planet fell
[00:05:59] Out of grace and all this, right? According to the Bible. You can take that same woman and you’re going to put a baby inside her. Now, what how what
[00:06:07] Consciousness is
[00:06:08] The baby being formed in? The baby’s being formed in the mother’s consciousness. Yeah. So now all the patterns of this system are rippling forth through all the children of that mother because she doesn’t know any other way. Like that’s how she was trained. She is. That’s her experience. And so she’s passing that experience on to all of her children. By default. So what we’re doing right now is we’re recognizing that that’s how the system works, it actually
[00:06:39] Works that way.
[00:06:41] So a lot of us receive these patterns from our mothers and then we get angry because they’re like, well, that’s not loving, that’s not caring, ignoring me.
[00:06:51] It makes me feel bad.
[00:06:53] Stonewalling me makes me feel bad. I don’t like that I don’t feel loved and don’t feel seen or heard or wanted. You didn’t celebrate me, you know, or you criticized me endlessly. And that really hurt or what are the patterns are like. There’s so many ways you could express.
[00:07:09] And you didn’t get what you needed. So they were like, blame the mother. That actually is the black like for everybody who wants to awaken, like fully sovereign, fully embodied
[00:07:23] Awake into
[00:07:24] Your divinity, inside your body. The block is all the judgments
[00:07:30] That you have about your biological
[00:07:31] Mother and how she raised you.
[00:07:34] Oh, I can so see that. And it really is interesting. In fact, I was actually sort of dealing with this recently. I’m working on writing a TED talk, and I’m it was kind of focused in a way on some of the trauma that I experienced as a kid and then realizing finally I didn’t I don’t want to go there. But it is interesting that in just thinking back on the stories of my life and growing up and how, yeah, my mom was a bit abusive. She was a narcissist, I think. But I also know that she didn’t have a good relationship with her mother. And so and, you know, because of like she married an alcoholic, that, yes, she wanted attention. And I can certainly understand that now as a grown up, it’s like I totally get where she was coming from. She didn’t get the love and the care that she wanted. And probably her mother didn’t get it either. She had to come to America when she was only 17 from from Europe and had to learn a new language. And so she went through stuff. And and yet it is it’s like this what is what informs me. And I have an opportunity now to at least understand that and maybe choose a different path and be able to heal, heal that
[00:08:52] Feeling that motherhood is is actually. It’s a personal healing and it’s an ancestral healing and it’s a spiritual healing and it’s a healing with the planet because we’re all pieces of the planet Earth, right? So as we heal, we’re also healing. The relationship, humanity’s
[00:09:14] Relationship with the Earth.
[00:09:16] So, yeah, there’s a lot here and. Unwinding it and weaving it, it’s kind of like sometimes you might feel
[00:09:25] Like you have
[00:09:26] Like if you’ve opened your
[00:09:29] You might feel like. It’s not fair that I had a mother that couldn’t love me the way I, I know in my heart I,
[00:09:37] I can be loved
[00:09:39] And it’s you might feel like life’s not fair. And what I posit is that life is extremely fair. Life is so fair that it put you with the parent. As a team, right, to heal these patterns ancestrally, yeah,
[00:10:01] And when you really get that, it’s like there’s no more B.S., you know, it’s kind
[00:10:06] Of like, OK, that’s my school’s curriculum.
[00:10:08] I chose this,
[00:10:10] And now it’s time for me to heal it from the inside out and not to say that. You’re not going to feel those feelings like I definitely felt all my victim energy, all my it’s not fair. I shouldn’t have to love my mother
[00:10:24] More than she loves me. Dad, out of
[00:10:27] All the stories in my head
[00:10:30] What I really wanted ultimately. I wanted two things from this work, I wanted no one to love myself so fully and so completely that nothing outside of me could rattle my cage, that I would stay in my love and my compassion and my integrity and my desire to show up the way I want to show up, no matter what’s happening around me, no matter who’s doing it. That was like my number one. And then the number two was, of course, my secret desire of all desires is that I have this beautiful relationship with my mother. And my sons, you know, that I have
[00:11:02] A loving, open,
[00:11:04] Honoring relationship where I can
[00:11:07] See who she really is and she can see who I really am. And that was like the cream of the crop. Like, I would love that relationship. And because I did the
[00:11:16] I have that relationship now.
[00:11:19] And even as I’m saying that I also want to back up and like the do a little sweeping, a little clearing,
[00:11:26] I had to do it without any hope that she was going to come along. I had to do the work for myself. Right.
[00:11:31] Without any expectation that she would come
[00:11:34] Along and do the work. And a miracle happens,
[00:11:38] Of course, as I let
[00:11:39] Go of all my stories and my ideas about who she was and my resentments and grudges and all the stuff I held on to my whole life and even a very picture of her, I put in my head and I lived by like, this is who my mother is. The same stories told over and over. Yeah. As I said, OK, I’m letting that go. Maybe I don’t know who she is today.
[00:11:58] Maybe that was
[00:11:58] Just a story. Maybe I don’t even know my own story. Maybe I just need to look inside myself and do my school’s
[00:12:05] Curriculum and find out what
[00:12:06] That is. And as I did that work and I discovered myself and I looked at my gene keys and other tools to see like what’s my actual skills curriculum? I could see the divine design I could see. And I looked at my moms because I was curious and I could see the interplay. I could see my mom’s work and my work as a handshake as she taught me. Like, for example, she has the gene key of
[00:12:30] Struggle, the shadow
[00:12:31] Of struggle and the shadow of provocation. Well, I did not like that as a young, sensitive person.
[00:12:39] As an impact. I hated that. I didn’t want I don’t like conflict. I don’t want conflict. No conflict, no conflict. And I kept trying to avoid it and push it aside and be like mom and my mom kept trying to make me strong by giving me this, this, this these gifts of like being a warrior
[00:12:55] Like here, like stand up for
[00:12:56] Yourself. And and I wouldn’t do it. And now we can see it. I see her, I’m like, you’re a button person and she’s like, I am, and I was like,
[00:13:08] You taught
[00:13:08] Me. I had this conversation with my mom. I said, Momma, you you taught me. How to provoke. Awakening. You taught me that. Do you see the divine design? We did this as a team. It wasn’t me doing this alone.
[00:13:32] My mom played the
[00:13:33] Role I needed her to play so I could be the leader I’m going to be today.
[00:13:39] Oh, sorry. I got very emotional there because it was crap. That’s my story, too. I mean, that’s exactly it, because I, I, I’ve hated conflict, and yet I can absolutely see that. I mean, because even my sister used to complain that I was like, you know, this crybaby and stuff and, you know, and then I didn’t stick up for myself and people would pick on me and things. And I can see now that, yeah, I think my mom was definitely provoking me to help me to have that backbone. And then I know also that my daughter, since I didn’t get it from my mom, that lesson was that when I used to say she was three going on 13 for going on 14, because she was always pushing my buttons. Now, of course, we get along much better now that she’s all grown up. And I’ve also done a lot of work on myself in the process. But that that’s so powerful. So so tell me how to even where did this idea come from? I mean, how did you how did you come up with this?
[00:14:40] I I’ve been working on
[00:14:41] This my whole life, but I
[00:14:42] Didn’t know it. How it is
[00:14:45] Your skills curriculum is hidden from me, but you’re just taking the steps and you’re getting the circumstances and it’s all coming right to your doorstep. And so my whole life, I’ve dealt with that one in conflict. I’ve dealt with that feeling insecure. I was so enmeshed with my mom as an early child because I had we went through very traumatic things together between zero and five
[00:15:06] And that
[00:15:07] That enmeshed us. And so I couldn’t even find my own voice. Like I didn’t even know where my voice
[00:15:12] Was for a long time. And I was
[00:15:16] Find my way in the world. So I had moments of brilliance. I had moments of strength
[00:15:20] And all of that.
[00:15:21] But it wasn’t really until I collapsed, until I said, you know,
[00:15:25] This life that I built in order to to look good or to do it
[00:15:29] The right way or the way everyone says you’re supposed to
[00:15:31] Be happy. And it didn’t work for me.
[00:15:33] I had to walk away from it all. And I trusted that inner voice for the first time that said. That’s the end of the rope, kid, and I was like, how that’s the end of the rope. OK, I got to take a leap. And I took that leap and I started following it
[00:15:48] And I led
[00:15:49] Me to shamanic healing. I had a shamanic healing. And I was changed in one hour. And I thought.
[00:15:55] After two decades
[00:15:57] Of weekly psychotherapy sessions and then I’ve changed in one hour, I’m doing this. I don’t care what this is, a ruse worked. I felt a difference. I felt a change. And it didn’t go back
[00:16:08] Like like I. I owe my whole life, I, I got
[00:16:11] These diagnoses and all those kinds of things, and it just felt like I kept sliding further and further and further into the broken category.
[00:16:18] And then I
[00:16:19] Found a shamanic healing path. And I, I was never worse. I was always better. You know, it always moved forward.
[00:16:27] It was
[00:16:29] So I learned how to do that. And then I started doing the inner child healing work because I was trying to get my message out. I felt like many people listening might be feeling this, like I was such an important message inside of me. And I know it needs to
[00:16:42] Come to the world and I keep my
[00:16:44] Guides and my higher self. My ancestors keep telling me, like, go for it, kid. Go, go, go. Like, do it. Share your message, share your message. And I, I kept trying. I was forcing it in every way I
[00:16:54] Could and I
[00:16:55] Wasn’t getting seen, I wasn’t being heard the way I knew
[00:16:59] I should if I’m
[00:17:00] Going to be doing this. So I was like, OK, it’s not working. So I found some new mentors. And this is about three years ago. My dad passed away and my whole world just turned into a sloppy mess
[00:17:13] Of unresolved pain
[00:17:16] Between me and my mom. And that’s really when the journey began. And I luckily I found these mentors. They were to
[00:17:22] Help me with inner child
[00:17:24] Healing, which is a lot of the work I do with people that I’d already been doing
[00:17:27] That work. But I needed to be held like I needed
[00:17:30] Someone to hold me through inner child healing
[00:17:33] And to
[00:17:34] Reclaim and repair it myself. And the more I started doing that, even like eight months into working
[00:17:40] With them, I published the second wave book. It hit
[00:17:43] Number one. It’s been on the charts ever since. So my business started flourishing.
[00:17:48] And then as soon as I
[00:17:49] Published that book, I got the tap is like, OK, it’s time to write Healing the mother
[00:17:53] Wound. And I was like, oh, OK.
[00:17:57] I mean, I did make that deathbed promise to my dad that I would love my mother. I additionally there was that moment. So I knew it was coming. I do the work was coming. But yeah, that’s that was really the inspiration had been coming for a while. I knew that this was something that I wanted really desired.
[00:18:17] And I got to
[00:18:18] Stay on the other side of writing this book, which was two years of very deep
[00:18:23] Embodiment work.
[00:18:26] You know, the kind that moves through your bowels, you
[00:18:30] Know, I mean, like that
[00:18:33] Reality for her very
[00:18:36] Uncomfortable, deep spiritual work and the body at the other side of that. I’m having this relationship with my mom, that is exactly what I always wanted, and my mom is like, I always wanted this with you.
[00:18:53] So awesome. And here it is. Oh, that’s wonderful. That’s that’s really inspiring because I do know that I think and I guess it doesn’t really matter whether you are male or female, you know, your mother, your mother is one of the most important relationships that you have. And to be able to find a way to make that relationship work is so important because I know, like my sister held a lot of resentment for a long time with my mom, I think she finally came to a place where she was able to handle things better. But but it’s it’s so self-destructive to really to keep focusing in on all the things that are wrong with her. Relationships are wrong with things. And and but if we can find a way to heal those things that are so important, what is, I guess, trying to think, what do I want? Trying to think? What is the best way to go here? Because so many things I’m curious about with you. I know I’m going to go here. So we’re going to back up a little bit. What got you started on this journey?
[00:20:09] Well, you mean the journey of healing,
[00:20:11] Journey of healing, yeah, really what was an extremely telling the story, this type of work to
[00:20:18] Extremely low self-esteem and suicidal ideation. You know, I mean, after two decades of going a weekly psychotherapy, getting the diagnosis, I got a
[00:20:29] Diagnosis near the end
[00:20:31] Of that period that was really rocked my world. They told me I was borderline personality and I looked it up on Wikipedia at the time. And it was not a very favorable diagnosis. It was terrible. I was like, oh, this is awful. Like, this is like a death sentence.
[00:20:45] Like, this is awful.
[00:20:46] I’m not that kind of person. I was so upset and I just felt like like other people have told me since, like, I think they misdiagnosed you. But I was like, no, if you knew me at the time,
[00:20:56] They were doing they were saying some correct dates.
[00:20:59] I mean, I was
[00:21:00] Really I I was out of
[00:21:02] Myself like I didn’t know how to process my emotions. I didn’t know how I repressed so many of my feelings. And they they’d
[00:21:09] Squirt out, you know,
[00:21:10] Like I get angry or lash out or things would happen.
[00:21:13] I, I mean,
[00:21:15] That was a recurring problem in my life, that I was in therapy because I was trying
[00:21:19] To be more regulated.
[00:21:22] I was
[00:21:22] Trying to I just noticed
[00:21:24] That other people didn’t get quite so passionate about me and they didn’t get all upset like I was getting. And they didn’t cry as much as me or get angry as much as me or want to lash out like that. And I didn’t notice that in other people as much as myself. And I really wanted to heal that. So that’s why I was in therapy the whole time.
[00:21:42] But it was like
[00:21:43] Getting worse and worse and worse. It wasn’t getting better. And I would call that like the dark
[00:21:46] Night of the soul. Right.
[00:21:47] It’s like I was having nightmares of, like, this
[00:21:50] Really hateful
[00:21:51] Shrew in my dream, telling me she hated me and like, oh, it was just like
[00:21:56] It was dark, you know.
[00:21:58] So I had to do something. And I had little kids by now.
[00:22:01] So I have two sons.
[00:22:02] And I wasn’t going to commit suicide on that. I was not going to do that. So I had to find a way
[00:22:07] And I couldn’t find
[00:22:09] It through the happy pills and I couldn’t find it through
[00:22:11] Psychotherapy because this is not a man
[00:22:14] Question, a human kind question. This is a God
[00:22:17] Question like
[00:22:19] God source, creator, great spirit question. Right. Until I found that I was not OK. And I needed that connection, I needed that remembrance of myself, I needed my soul, I needed God’s love, whatever word you want to use. I needed that. And until I got that, I was not going to be OK. So the shamanic healing path reconnected me by connecting me to that which is bigger than me. So I got connected to the Earth, you know, I got connected back to my
[00:22:51] And in my body I can start to feel my feelings and I can start to heal all those years where I took pills instead of feeling my feelings. It took a while to heal that. So I want to say for anybody who’s taking those happy pills, like I get it, if you feel like you need it and like it’s really important to face your feelings because they don’t go anywhere, they stay in your body and they can cause disease. And that’s what started happening for me. So that’s really why I
[00:23:18] Got in the path is a deep desire to be around for my kids, to be a good mom and to repair
[00:23:25] My relationships, to really be the kind of person I knew inside of myself that I was the whole time. And I didn’t understand why I was acting the way I was acting. I couldn’t stop myself.
[00:23:38] So what do you do now? So you do this work now with others, you’re helping them with this process. Tell us a little bit about how you’re applying this and in your in your professional life, I guess.
[00:23:50] Yeah, so I do.
[00:23:52] I have a circle for healing the other one. So I help women who have had challenging relationships with their mothers who would like to heal that matrix inside their minds so that they can be in a better relationship with themselves and also with whatever partner they have in their life or their kids or their family, their moms or dads, because how you
[00:24:15] The patterns in our mind of
[00:24:17] Life that we created of our mother, they affect all of our relationships. And so if you heal that
[00:24:22] Relationship, all the other
[00:24:23] Relationships start to heal, including the one with yourself. And so so I help people to do that. And I also teach I teach a way
[00:24:34] To connect with the
[00:24:36] Earth to that which is bigger than us to the divine as expressed through
[00:24:40] The Mother Earth.
[00:24:41] I help people to connect to that through initiating them as a massive keeper. I may say career, which is a tradition from Peru.
[00:24:51] So that was my first big
[00:24:53] Lineage that I studied with. And it’s the foundation of my spirituality
[00:24:57] Is these wonderful
[00:24:59] People that live
[00:24:59] In the mountains
[00:25:00] Of Peru called the Carol. And they have little rainbow ponchos they wear and they have these stone friends and they talk to Mother Earth
[00:25:10] And they talk to the OP,
[00:25:12] Who’s the mountain spirits. And they they live with the Rainbow Light.
[00:25:16] And that’s that’s my path.
[00:25:18] So I,
[00:25:19] I bring other people
[00:25:21] With me on that path.
[00:25:23] Awesome. Well, if someone wants to learn more about this and whether it is the, you know, the the mother group or anything more about you, maybe learn more about your your podcast as well. How do people get in touch with you.
[00:25:39] So my website has links to everything about me and it’s Kerri Hummingbird dot com, our Kerri Hummingbird Dotcom and I offer free consultation or free discovery call if anybody’s interested in finding out more and where they fit into this. And there’s information about all the programs, the one year program, which is the Andean Shamanism Program and also the mother wound
[00:26:03] Work, is all up there to you and the books. So it’s all
[00:26:06] A carry heavy burtka.
[00:26:07] All right, awesome. Well, I really enjoyed learning about this today. I think it’s just that it’s been happening for me and hopefully it has been eye opening for our listeners. And those are reviewing on YouTube as well. Thank you so much for for being here today. I really appreciate all the work you have done personally and that you’re now able to help others with that as well.
[00:26:31] Thank you so much, Gloria, and so many blessings to everybody listening.
[00:26:35] Yeah. Yes. And thank you for those of you who are out there listening and I really appreciate you. And if you would love to leave a comment on iTunes, are you listening there or on YouTube? I do read them, so I’d love to hear from you. And until next time, I encourage you to go out and live fully, love deeply and engage authentically. Did you know that
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