Certified coach Christopher Jackson recently joined me for a LIVE interview on Facebook & LinkedIn to talk about how kind people who are risk adverse can get paid for their work. Chris is also the co-owner of Kinetic Life, a career and lifestyle design company, specializing in helping high-performers leave their unique stamp on the world through their professional work, while looking and feeling good doing it.
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On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. Podcast:
- How to have tough conversations
- What it means to be in the “business of being you”
- What Chris’ biggest challenge was in business
- What Chris wishes he’d known early on in life
- How Chris and his wife work together
Connect with Christopher
- Join the Live. Love. Engage. Community
- Intuitive Business Coaching
- The Live. Love. Engage. Book
- Support the Podcast with BuyMeACoffee.com
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00:00.000 –> 00:48.710
You’re listening to the Live Love Engage podcast on today’s show, how to Succeed in Business. If you don’t like conflict, stay tuned. I am Gloria Grace Rand, founder of The Love Method and author of the number one Amazon best seller, Live Love Engage. How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Start Being Yourself in this podcast, we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to live fully, love, deeply, and engage authentically so you can create a life and business with more impact, influence and income. Welcome to Live Love Engage.
00:48.710 –> 01:37.410
Namaste. And welcome to another edition of Live Love Engage. I am delighted to be with you today, and especially coming to you live on Facebook and LinkedIn and YouTube as well. So welcome those of you watching live. And also, I am delighted to welcome those of you who are listening to this podcast on, uh, your favorite podcast platform. So I’ve got a great guest who’s going to be with us in just 1 second. I’m going to bring him on here because we’re going to be having some great talks today about, um, you know what? Actually, I’ll tell you in a second. Let me just bring him on. First. I want to welcome Coach Christopher Jackson or Coach Chris.
01:37.410 –> 01:41.490
Hey, how are you doing?
01:41.490 –> 02:58.530
Glad to have you here today. And let me share with our listeners and viewers today just what you do and why. I knew that you’d be a good guess for us. So Chris is a certified professional coach and co owner of Kinetic Life, a career and lifestyle design company that specializes in helping high performers leave their unique stamp on the world through their professional work while looking and feeling good about it. And since 2018, he and his wife, Elena, who’s a dual licensed counselor, have also combined evidence based research with creative solutions and tools to disrupt success the way their clients knew it to be so that they could find more peace, presence and purpose. And isn’t that a wonderful thing to be able to have in your life? I think I would love to be able to continue to have more peace, presence and purpose. So I wanted to start off today because we’re going to get into talking a bit today about getting kind people paid, especially those who are conflict adverse like I am. Um, but I wanted to find out a little bit more about you and what got you onto this journey to be a coach.
02:58.530 –> 05:59.910
Yeah. So thank you for bringing me on the show. It’s a pleasure to be here. I really do appreciate you reaching out to me and to be able to share what I can with your audience and provide some value with the topic that we’re going to talk about today. So thank you very much, Gloria. Uh, so what got me all started? Okay, I’m going to make this longer story short. So in 2016, I got introduced to coaching through a client of mine at the time who I was taking through her weight loss journey. So in 2010, I came back to the States after playing ten years of professional football overseas. That’s American football, not soccer. I know that’s the question that you’re thinking, because that’s the question that we’re getting asked. But I came back in 2010, and I was like, So what am I going to do? A friend hooked me up with one of his friends that was creating a fitness studio. A boutique fitness studio that was tailor made for the type of client who does not want to go to those other gyms where they don’t feel as confident and you want to be with other people that are struggling with the things that they struggle with. So I go in there and I meet the person who introduced me to coaching. So I played in that space from 2000 to 2016 in that particular studio. And I helped this woman finally get her weight loss journey on the wraps. She’s struggling her entire life, and finally she found it. It’s not like I was doing different exercises with her. I was just connecting human to human. I knew how to speak her language, I knew how to meet her where she was, and it just worked. It just gelled. And she had called me up one day, she goes, Chris, I want to take you as a guest to this coaching school. And I was like, what is that? It’s like this life coaching school that I’m going to be a part of. And the reason why she wanted to take me, because she felt like I had the innate ability to be able to coach, and she wanted me to level up past being a trainer, which I wanted to do as well. I didn’t want to be a trainer all my life, so I was looking for next steps. So I went with her to the first module as a guest. The first module was 30 hours on a weekend. So I’m like, I thought it was just going to make a day, but the whole weekend. It blew my mind. I had zero clue you can make this a profession and a viable profession. And I was in a cohort with people from all around the world in New York City, in Times Square. It was amazing having Times Square lights just come and shooting into the classroom. I’m like, this is incredible. People from all different walks of life, people from corporate, people who want to be relationship coaches, executive coaches. It’s not in the third, and I fell in love with it. I was blown away by the concepts, and it was amazing. So that’s how I started.
05:59.910 –> 06:29.010
Well, that’s wonderful. I’m glad that you did that and that you found your calling. And I love that you’re able to now help people in a deeper way because it is important to be healthy, certainly. And I appreciate that you’re doing the training work, but to be able to, I think, to help people more in a holistic fashion so that they’re healthy mind, body and soul is really great.
06:29.010 –> 07:29.910
Yeah. That was the other piece of it. I really wanted to understand why people struggled with their physical health. And it all boils down to the mental and emotional side. And I live in Fairfield County, Connecticut. But at that time, I was living in Westchester County, New York. So these are pretty affluent counties in the Tri-state area on a whole, is hustle culture. Hustle. So imagine being in a work environment that doesn’t really match who you are and how you want to serve in the world. And you just get caught up in that whirlwind of stress and quotas and bottom lines and things like that. While trying to live in this affluent part of the country, it can get really tricky. And I think that’s what happened. People wanted to escape the stress, so they escaped with a Nightcap, through food, neglecting their health. Maybe they’ll skip breakfast entirely because they got so much work to do. Throw some kids on top of it. Throw a marriage on top of it.
07:29.910 –> 07:31.110
07:31.110 –> 07:32.038
There we go.
07:32.184 –> 07:37.486
Yeah. That’s the recipe, boy for not doing well. For sure.
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Now, I wanted to ask you about. So let’s talk a little bit about our topic today, because I love that you had suggested this, because I know for me as a business owner, especially, um, when I was first starting out, it was challenging to, number one, ask for the sale. And number two, to even…
08:04.630 –> 08:31.442
I guess really to be able to sometimes just raise my rates. And I did have even one time when I was first working as a copywriter where someone didn’t pay me, even though I had done the work for them. And I had to find out how to be able to sort of put a little bit of pressure on not go the whole attorney route. But it was like, Gee whiz, dude. And it wasn’t even that much money to begin with. It was like, can you just pay me?
08:31.576 –> 08:33.010
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What have you found in dealing with clients? Have you found also some of this struggle? And how do you help people with that?
08:41.896 –> 08:58.466
Yeah. Okay. So that’s great. And I understand that happens to a lot of people. I can just tell from you, the soft pinks and hey, gee whiz, and stuff like that. You’re super duper kind, right? I don’t want to prod and prune, but can you please recognize me on my worth, please?
08:58.528 –> 09:00.670
Right, right, exactly.
09:00.670 –> 11:10.766
And that’s where it starts, right? It starts rooting yourself in the self worth. So I like to throw a phrase around called the business of being you. All right. That works if you are an employee working in corporate, if you’re an entrepreneur, solopreneur, small business owner, whatever. Right. The business of being you is a full time gig. And if you think like the CEO of your life, you will start to show up with more posture, more presence, and more authority. But how can you do that if you’re conflict adverse? Right? You got to get back to the peace part. Peace, presence and purpose. So when I work with a client, I’m like, I want you to view me as the project manager in your life right now. I want to look at the vision that you want to create for yourself. We want to be able to hone in on that. We want to look at those energy drainers and gainers in your life, the things that are just robbing you of your energy, because that’s going to rob you of your business. The business’s purpose, outside of making money, is to answer a call. Those are the type of clients I attract, people who want to answer a call. Now, if you’re going to protect that calling, that means you feel like you’re built for something bigger than yourself. So all these little distractions, we need to look at them just like that. They are distractions. Just like in any business, they’re going to be things that are going to knock you for a loop. There’s going to be valleys, there’s going to be peaks. And that’s how business is. It literally mirrors life. So if you’re going to be the CEO of your business, then you look at the qualities of what a high level CEO looks like in your style. You understand what I’m saying? So if you’re kind, great. Let’s be kind. Use that as your weapon, because that’s how you flow. We don’t want you to transform into something different. But how can we expand that kindness and protect that kindness to keep you on mission and not swayed back and forth from all the other distractors in route of creating a lucrative business for yourself?
11:10.948 –> 12:06.170
Yeah, absolutely. And I know… part of this, I think that what happens is that sometimes it is challenging to have conversations, especially, like I said, tough conversations, whether you’re trying to collect money from people or even… Again, I’ll draw on my experience the first time I hired a virtual assistant. We didn’t click. And mostly it was my fault because I didn’t set the parameters of what I expected from her to do. And so if I had done that in the beginning, things probably would have worked a lot better. So how do you help people have those conversations? And that sometimes can be again, if you’re conflict adverse, you’re like, I don’t really do this, but I need to be the CEO of myself, as you just said. So how do you help people with that?
12:06.280 –> 12:26.666
Yes. All right, great question. So people who are conflict adverse, they’re worrying about themselves and how other people perceive them. Right. So if we can take ourselves out of that fight or flight, that survival mechanism because in all actuality, the VA wasn’t going to cut your head off, wipe out a member of the family.
12:26.728 –> 12:26.918
12:26.944 –> 13:47.874
These are just conversations, but I know it’s really, it can feel really scary. So it’s getting really clear on what type of fear we’re working with when we’re having these conversations. You might feel a little bit of tension in your chest or in your head or something because it’s attached to something way, way, way back there. Right. So to be able to speed up the process of having a tough conversation, it’s like, okay, I’m going to take the focus off of myself. I’m even going to take the focus off of them, and I’m going to level up into the vision on which I want to make an impact in; whatever your vision is in your calling is. Right. So you’re like, all right, I know this is the big thing I want to create. I’m going to need, to be able to create a team and give instructions and delegate to be able to fulfill this mission. So what I need to do is use my kindness. And I got this from Brene Brown on the podcast. I heard one time she said, Clear is kind, unclear is unkind. And I thought that was brilliant. I haven’t listened to a lot of Brene Brown, but I happened to listen to that podcast, and that was the one gem I got from it. And I was like, you know what? That’s right. Being clear is the kind thing to do to the mission. Being clear is the kind thing to do for them, because if they took up this role, I can imagine they want to perform it to their standards.
13:47.982 –> 13:48.578
13:48.724 –> 14:09.190
You might not even know what those standards are. So it might be great to understand where they’re coming from, how they want to create impact, or what they want to do in their lives, and why they ought to join you and your mission. So taking a focus off of you, put it into the higher calling, bringing people along for the ride, but put yourself in the picture because you’re the maestro of this vision.
14:09.190 –> 14:51.374
I love that. I think that is so powerful to be able to do it that way. And it is key, I believe, to take yourself out of it, because we can get too bogged down in the weeds of our own past, our own – however, we grew up with whatever we grew up with and things like that, but it doesn’t necessarily have to impact how we’re acting today in that particular circumstance. And when we can look at it from that high level, that makes so much sense to me, and especially then I think it also frees up our brain to be able to ask better questions. What do you think about that?
14:51.532 –> 15:49.150
Totally. Yeah. The power of curiosity is great. I like to tell my clients, hey, perform and think like a scientist or a researcher. They ask tons of questions, and they research and research. They take the emotions out of it. Right? It’s all like data. They test and review, test and review. So if you know that your intentions are good and you got this calling on your life and you really want to create something and you want to make a living from it as well, then learning on how to just adjust your emotional barometer and bring it to the conversations in the way that communicates understanding and clarity. You’re doing it because it’s one big research project, right? Like life is a game to be played, not won. Stay in the process. Don’t worry about the outcome. The process will take you to the promised land. That’s what I truly believe. Yeah.
15:49.150 –> 16:00.070
What is though… especially if maybe someone is just new getting started in their business and they haven’t found their voice yet. How do you help people in that way? What would you advise them?
16:00.070 –> 17:37.506
Well, they know themselves, right. So they’re just getting started in business. So that would probably be a more in depth conversation. But it all comes back to the reintroduction of who they are and who they need to become in order to pull off the thing that they want to pull off. Right. So who you are determines what you do and how you do it. So if they’re caught up in the how do I get this done, and what do I want? First? It’s like, well, who do you need to become in order to be able to pull this off? And why do you want to pull it off to begin with? How does that fit into your lifestyle design first, career track second. So really honing in on their vision, coming up with a strategy that makes sense for them, that’s going to put themselves in the picture and not be depleted at the end of the day, there will be some days where you do feel really tired, especially in the beginning of being an entrepreneur and building your business, no doubt. But coming up with a strategy of perform and recover, I mean, that has to be integrated into it. So I think in the first place to play is like, look who you are at the deep level. What are your core beliefs, your core values, and what are your innate strengths? And let’s look at the dark side of those strengths to see where you’re going to allow those dark sides or blind spots rob you of your joy as you build this thing out. That’s where I would start with vision. I would start with the reintroduction of self and create a framework and a defense mechanism around the energy drainers and energy gainers so you can accelerate that business growth.
17:37.638 –> 17:44.730
Yeah, that’s awesome. I appreciate you sharing that with us. So let’s talk a little bit more about your journey.
17:44.790 –> 19:31.050
So what’s the biggest challenge that you’ve ever had to overcome? The biggest challenge I had to overcome was actually niching down in my business that we’re talking about in my business? service oriented people want to help everybody, right? That’s what happens every single time. And it was like, well, who do I like serving? How do I want to help them? And what do I want to protect them from? And things like that. So for me, the way my personality type is, it’s go, go, go, shiny objects. What if it’s a new opportunity? I can play here. I can play there. I can play there. I got a solution for this. I got a solution for that. I need to just slow down so that I can speed up by getting super authentic with how I uniquely serve. And I know I’m doing it in a way that is authentic to me if it feels easy, if it feels in flow, right. It all starts with the confident delivery of your system. So create a system on how you help people, which I have. And I show other people how to create a simple system to their success in their life and align it with your values, and then come up with that billboard or that stake in the ground. Like, I want to protect this client from this so they never experience this ever again. And basically what that means is your dream client is looking right back at you in the mirror, hands down. So once I realized that, I was like, oh, I’m looking for myself.
19:31.050 –> 20:04.830
Yes, I know that. I’ve been on that journey as well, and that’s exactly who I have landed on to be able to help. As I realized that, it was like, yeah, I want to help people like me because I’ve learned how to achieve a certain success in certain areas. And if I can help people, maybe avoid some of the mistakes I’ve made along the way, that makes me happy. Which brings me to my totally. my next question for you is, what actually gets you most excited about the work that you’re doing?
20:04.830 –> 21:50.850
What gets me the most excited? So I know when I’m like, super locked in with a client. I get really excited when I get goosebumps on my skin. I’m, uh, like, oh, it’s happening again. It doesn’t happen all the time. But when it really happens, I’m like, this is why I do this work. And that goosebump feeling literally comes from, I feel like the chain is broken on the way that they’re thinking about something that really frees them up to expand their full capacity of love and joy, to be able to receive love, receive help, receive joy, and to let go of the heavy mental weight that’s been holding them down for so long. Because for our heart centered high performers, the people that I coach, they know they have it in them, but they’re like, what is the thing holding me back? I feel like I’m dragging this boulder up this cliff, and there’s no quit in me. So I am going to get to the top of this cliff. I don’t even know if it’s the…this is the right cliff or mountain I should be on, but I’m going to do it anyway because I’m so driven. And once I’m able to help them get out of their own way and the silence happens, it’s just like, that was the deep seated thing. I was like, okay, now we’re going to be able to create, right? So it’s really cool. So I love being able to help people get on their mission that’s uniquely designed for them and fulfill the calling God put on their life. Because to me, that’s the most truest thing. How you can cut through the distractions and the noise in the world as if you’re honoring your God given assignment.
21:50.850 –> 22:05.122
Yeah, I can appreciate that, too, because I definitely love when I can see people get those light bulb moments, I think, especially when they realize, oh, yeah. Okay. That’s a wonderful thing.
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What do you wish you had known when you started out on this adventure we call life? On the venture we call life? Yeah.
22:17.316 –> 23:17.250
Okay. It’s okay to get messy. Get messy a lot. It’s fine. No need to be perfect all of the time. Definitely no need to do it all by yourself. Have a bit of a lone Wolf syndrome. I’m an oldest sibling, and I don’t know, I just feel like I just take care of it myself. I get it done myself. I don’t really want to impose myself on anyone. Just pretty much just to understand, like, hey, we’re all spirits within a human experience, so we’re going to experience a lot of human things. And it’s okay. You can say sorry instead of preventing the sorry for ever happening, which will make you be perfect all the time when you’re definitely not. You actually know that. I think that’s the key. It’s okay to get messy.
23:17.250 –> 23:23.686
Now, I mentioned in your bio that you actually do work with your wife. So how does that dynamic work?
23:23.868 –> 24:57.533
Yeah. Okay, so she’s a licensed mental health counselor, and sometimes I would get a client that gets stuck in a loop. I’m like, you know what? We’ll be able to uncover this a lot quicker if I pass you off to the deep sea diver. That’s why I kind of, like, say, the difference between and the therapy. I was like, look, with the coaching, we’re in the boat. We’re fishing. We’re playing with stuff. We’re talking about ideas. We’re talking about dreams. We’re fishing for things. Bring the fish back in the boat. Going to keep it, going to eat it. I want to throw it back. But when they get caught in that loop, it’s like angler fish. Got it. Deep sea stuff. Weird creatures with big lights on, them. I was like, Elena, I need help on this, and she’s really gifted at it. And then when she works with someone and that’s how therapy works, you go from a place of dysfunction to function, right? In therapy, you need diagnosis and stuff like that. So she brings them from function to dysfunction in one area of their life, multiple areas, whatever. But they’re looking to create a strategy and move the actions forward week in, week out, with some accountability, and they’re ready to grab life by the horns. Like, let’s get after this. Then I take them from function to optimal. So that’s where I come in. We ping pong back and forth like that. She deals with a lot of people and executives in Google and Amazon, a lot of big tech. So they have a unique set of things you need to work on.
24:57.533 –> 25:22.590
Uh, yeah, I can imagine. Well, it’s fortunate that you have that type of relationship that you can be able to do that, and I imagine it makes for… Well, actually, I’m not even going to say I don’t even know what it would make for, but how do you then keep, I guess, work and your personal lives separate, then?
25:22.590 –> 25:42.958
How do we keep it separate? I don’t know. Just work and we just come together. I mean, she’s like an amazing wife, a great friend, a great roommate, a great coowner and colleague. I never really put thought on how do we do it? So it’s more organic and more in the flow. I guess that’s why it works, right?
25:43.044 –> 25:43.438
25:43.524 –> 26:18.847
You don’t have to put thought into it. We dropped my son off at daycare, so he’s 17 months. He’s in daycare. My older son, he’s 24. Big gap there. I lived a couple of years in my lifetime. The house is mainly quiet, and she knocks up six clients. Seven clients. Does her admin work. I do my thing. She’s introverted. She can stay in this house for, like, three years and be okay. Not three years, but she’s okay home. I’m like, well, I’m getting out of here, so then I’ll go do my thing. It’s cool.
26:18.847 –> 26:30.814
Well, I can imagine then the last couple of years might have been a little bit challenging for you, but she was probably okay. Then I’m guessing we’re in lockdown, craziness.
26:30.972 –> 26:37.346
I was okay because I am what they call the most extroverted introvert. Most introverted extrovert.
26:37.478 –> 26:38.970
26:38.970 –> 26:58.810
She’s the opposite of me. I like long extended periods of time where I can just learn and create. That’s how I need to be able to do that stuff. When I’m by myself, I like to work out and stuff like that. So you’re allowed to go outside and run and do things like that? It was okay. Yeah. That’s good.
26:58.980 –> 27:07.530
Well, we’re nearing the end of our time here, and I just want to double check with you. Is there anything that I should have asked but didn’t?
27:07.530 –> 27:17.310
I can’t think of anything off the top of my mind that you should have asked. I think you did an excellent job interviewing me. I love the questions. It’s really fun.
27:17.310 –> 27:32.650
Well, thank you. I appreciate that. So if someone out there has been listening and watching this and wants to explore working with you or just wants to learn more information about what you do in the world, what’s the best place for them to go?
27:32.760 –> 28:06.750
Right. So they can go ahead and go on my website. That’s www.kineticlifecoaching.com. Play around on the website. We had a fantastic copywriter and her and I co-created a pretty cool website that’s just not all information; take you on a journey. We try to make it really interactive, play around with it. Get to know me a little bit more on there. And if you do feel so inclined to reach out for a kinetic conversation, that’s what I call my discovery calls. Go ahead about the form on the contact page, and we’ll connect.
28:06.750 –> 28:24.082
All right. Excellent. Well, good. Well, I appreciate you spending a little bit of your morning with us today, and I appreciate, uh, learning more about you and all the great work that you’re doing in the world, and you shared a lot of useful, uh, information for our audience today, so I appreciate you so much.
28:24.216 –> 28:27.150
Thank you so much, Gloria. I appreciate it was fun.
28:27.150 –> 28:58.050
Thank you. And thank all of you. For those of you who have been out there watching today and listening, I’m very grateful. And if you got some value out of this, please share this episode wherever you found it Facebook, LinkedIn or on your favorite podcast platform like Apple and that would be great. And tell your friends about it until next time. As always, I encourage you to go out and live fully, love deeply, and engage authentically.
28:58.050 –> 29:38.000
Did you know that a majority of entrepreneurs tend to discount the importance of their work and a good number feel their success is simply due to luck. I know from personal experience that self doubt can keep you from having the kind of life and business you desire. That’s why I created a free guide called uniquely. You how to move from self doubt to self love in four simple steps to claim your free guide, go to liveloveengage.gift that’s live love engage dot g-i-f-t.