High performance living isn’t just about achieving goals. It’s about thriving through life’s toughest challenges. Joining me to share his formula for beating burnout is Christian Ray Flores, an entrepreneur, international recording artist, philanthropist, and high-performance coach who has lived an extraordinary life spanning multiple continents and cultures.
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Show Notes | Transcript“Everybody knows, okay, problems never go away. I don’t care how healthy you are, how pretty you are, how rich you are, you will always have problems. It’s just part of the human experience… if you’re not going to escape it, at least beat it.” – Christian Ray Flores
Christian shares his journey from child refugee to pop star and philanthropist, revealing how these experiences shaped his understanding of resilience and antifragility. We explore the concept of post-traumatic growth and how it can be applied to both personal and professional life.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
- How to cultivate antifragility and grow stronger through life’s challenges
- The power of curiosity in developing resilience and adaptability
- Why incorporating deep learning into daily life is crucial for entrepreneurial success
- How to leverage different cultural perspectives to strengthen your life and business
Key insights include:
- The importance of balancing consistency with exploration in your daily routine
- Why rest and recovery are essential components of high performance
- How faith and spirituality can provide a framework for personal growth
- The value of aiming higher in life and business, despite the challenges
Christian also shares his practical 80/20 formula for incorporating new learning and growth into your daily life, explaining how this approach can lead to transformational results in just 30 days.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur looking to build resilience in your business or simply seeking ways to thrive in an ever-changing world, this conversation offers valuable insights and actionable strategies. Tune in to discover how you can develop unshakable grit and turn life’s challenges into opportunities for growth!
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TRANSCRIPT
Namaste. Life always has a way of throwing us curveballs. Have you noticed that? Well, what if you could not only bounce back, but actually grow stronger through these challenges? Well, today’s guest is going to explain how we can build unshakable grit and antifragility in our life and businesses, even when the world seems to be changing faster than we can keep up. But before I get to him, so. So you have a hint already. It’s, it’s, it’s a gentleman. I want to welcome you to Live Love Engage, especially if this is your first time joining us. I am Gloria Grace, founder of align to Shine Academy. And I, I love empowering women over 50 to step into their highest potential with clarity and confidence. And in just a moment, I am going to bring on Christian Ray Flores. And I, I’m trusting that is how you pronounce his last name. I just realized I didn’t ask him, but I’m, I’m guessing, I’m pretty sure it is, but. He is an entrepreneur, international recording artist, philanthropist, and high performance coach who empowers business and non profit leaders to reach and stay at the top of their game. And this gentleman has led an extraordinary life, going from a child refugee in Chile to entertaining millions as a pop star in Europe and leading philanthropic projects around the world. And that’s just for starters. I mean, I could go on and on, but I can’t wait to have you meet him. So I am going to, without further ado, bring him onto our stage and welcome you, Christian, to Engage.
Hello. Thank you, Grace. Thanks for having me.
Oh, well, I am, yeah, I’m just, you know, when, and I don’t know even remember how we connected, probably your PR person or something, but it was like, you know, when I’m reading up on you, I’m going, oh my gosh, you’ve had this incredible, incredible life. So we’re talking today about, you know, really about like resilience and, and you know, and having that fortitude to be able to not only bounce back but also grow. So what, you know, throughout all of your journey that you’ve had, what were some of the maybe key moments that taught you the most about resilience that, you know, those watching and listening today can apply in their own lives.
Thanks for asking. I, I’ve had a very sort of early uncertainty as a child. You know, like when you’re a refugee at age 5, you know, you’re definitely in a very select group of people and, and then that kept sort of growing and changing. I basically Ended up moving to four countries by age seven. And, you know, but before I was 21, I had experienced a mil. A military coup in Chile, Latin America, a civil war in Africa, which was in Mozambique, where I lived and grew up from between 7 and 14 and the collapse of the Soviet Union, in Moscow, in Eastern Europe. So I mean, who does that, right? Who, who, who has that kind of experience on three different continents before you’re even 20? So that’s, that was sort of just a slice of, of that. And then of course, throw in some poverty, economic instability, even family drama, my parents got divorced. And so you have yourself a nice cocktail of challenges. Right. And I don’t think there’s like these sort of aha moments that are like, from one moment to another, you become enlightened. It’s really more of a process, I think, and I think that’s actually true of most people. It’s really more of an evolution, a process that has almost like these quantum leaps every once in a while. And I think for me, that was. That was sort of the. Between 0 and 21, 25, I was sort of exposed to enough stress and enough sort of stressors, so to say that either I become sort of this perpetual victim or I develop some anti fragility so that I can not only, not only survive, but thrive in life.
Now you mentioned anti fragility right there. And I had mentioned that in the bio, and I haven’t actually come across that particular word before, so I wonder if you could define that a little bit. Just, you know, maybe it’s just, just my, my ignorance, but I’d love to know what you mean by that and how can we really cultivate that?
Yeah, but, you know, we talk about fortitude quite a bit or resilience quite a bit. That’s sort of the, the main thing. Right. Antifragility was actually coined as a term by this guy, Nassim Taleb, who is a brilliant guy, He’s a financier and entrepreneur, that kind of thing. There’s actually a term in psychology that mirrors that, I think fairly closely. And the psychology term is post traumatic growth. And it’s basically, you know, everybody knows ptsd. Very few people know that there’s sort of this other side of trauma called post traumatic growth. And it’s really fascinating because most of our sort of psychology, the discipline of psychology, focused very heavily on PTSD and on trauma. And then with maybe the last 20 years or so. So it’s very recent, relatively speaking, the positive psychology movement, unearthed this other thing, right? This other capability that we have, which is post traumatic growth, but it’s basically the ability to not only withstand obstacles and problems and stressors, either internal or external, but actually grow not in spite of them, but because of them. And to me that’s one of the most amazing things that to, to dig into and to develop as a skill set, a human being. Because everybody knows, okay, problems never go away. I don’t care how healthy you are, how pretty you are, how rich you are, you will always have problems. It’s just that it’s just part of the human experience. So if that’s part of the human experience and you can’t escape it, developing the ability to process obstacles and trauma and stressors seems to be like, okay, well you, if you’re not going to beat it, if you’re not going to escape it, at least beat it. Right? So that’s basically the, the essence of it.
Yeah. And I have heard of the term post traumatic growth before and, and I feel like that’s definitely something that I’ve experienced in my own life because I, I mean certainly not same kind of childhood as yours, but I have, you know, I think everybody has their own, Everybody does stuff. Yeah, of course, of course, course that, that goes. But it is that you know, ability to, to then learn from it. Have you, have you found maybe in, in working with, with clients yourself? Is there, how should I phrase this? Is there a particular quality maybe that you see in someone that, where they, maybe they, they aren’t growing yet, but they do have that potential to grow. So.
Because I think, I mean, I think that quality is curiosity. That’s the, that’s the quality. It’s the curiosity. That’s all it is. Right. Like if you are at the very least open that your, you can interpret and navigate life different, differently from where what you have in the past. That’s the quality. It’s curiosity. Okay. You know, it’s. Everything seems unsurmountable or hard to imagine for yourself when you’re on this side of, of the question of, of the quest. Right. So yeah, be curious, ask questions, get guidance, read books, get coaching. Everybody can learn it. Everybody should learn it. As a matter of fact, I would say, yeah.
Because it. Otherwise you’re just stuck in that cycle of being wallowing in, in it and not getting anywhere. Yeah, that makes sense.
Most men live a life of quiet desperation, the famous quote says. Right. And it’s just true. Most men and women, I would say, live a life of quiet desperation. Do you want to stay there? That’s the question. Right. And. Okay, are you willing to do the work to not stay there?
Yeah, absolutely. So this leads me to my, My next question is how has. Because I know a faith is a big part of your journey as well. So how has that made a difference in maybe supporting you through some of the challenges you’ve gone through?
Well, to me, basically, I. I was, I grew up in a very faithless environment. Both my parents were Marxists, everybody knew were atheists, you know, and everybody, like every single person. I recently realized I haven’t, I didn’t meet anyone, like, didn’t have a relationship, didn’t know anyone personally who believed in a divine power until I was like in my early 20s, late teens maybe, you know, so I was. Faith came into my life relatively late for sort of the American experience. The American experience. Most people are exposed to some sort of faith, you know, at the very least, you know, people who believe. So for me, this was late. And basically the way it helped me is that it gave me a, you know, a framework that is outside of myself that basically told me that I am, that I have unsurpassed worth, that I am loved, that there’s a God who loves me and cares about me personally, and that I was relieved to find out that not all in life is about me, that I’m not the center of the universe. And therefore the solutions and the answers to the big questions in life don’t really, really shouldn’t reside in me in the first place. I can find them elsewhere and I can strive and grow. And then the other thing, I think that was important to me that I understood that there was a. That I was created, you know, to be aligned with a divine presence, to be aligned with God, and that he wants me to grow into it. Right. I was created, but I, but I chose, I choose something different all the time. And, and I can strive and expand, but that’s sort of my. It is my natural state to be a spiritual human being. And I think that’s a huge deal that was missing in my life. I did have a lot of resilience, antifragility by then already, but it almost like it really expanded me in ways that I. That antifragility alone can’t really give you. So, I mean, there’s a reason why, you know, the, the most thorough research in human development, the Harvard Research Project, that was like 80 plus years, spanning several generations, completely secular study shows that a transcendent practice is essential for human happiness and flourishing. Essential people are healthier, wealthier, live longer who have a spiritual practice. So this, and this is completely not a, like a religious study. So this is just objectively true. And I find that to be like a core pillar thing for, for people to discover, to, to nurture.
Right, Yeah, I agree with that 100%. And I know that for me, I, I grew up in a semi religious family. I mean, we went to church every week. But I, I wouldn’t necessarily call us really devout Catholics, so.
But you were exposed to it, right?
I was exposed to it, yes. You know, but I, you know, but my mother loved to make, you know, comments in the back of the church, you know, complaining about the priest. So, so I like to call myself sort of that cafeteria Catholic where we kind of take, resonate with and leave the rest. So it was really my journey later in life where I started to start questioning some of these things that I grew up learning and going, do I really, do I really, really believe that. I do believe in God. I always felt close to God, especially out in nature, but I wasn’t necessarily. The dogma didn’t really necessarily stick with me or prove to be relevant. I guess I could say. Now you mentioned spiritual practices and I’d love to dive in to that because I am curious to see what other, other people do. And I know again, anyone who’s watched my show, you know, or listened to me for years now, I always preached sort of the same practices that have helped me and have helped some of my clients. So I’m curious to know what, what, what does your spiritual practice look like and. Yeah, yeah, let me just stop it right there.
Well, yeah, well, we can talk about that for hours. But I’m a Christian. And of course there’s like, that’s not even saying much because there’s like a thousand types of that, of people who identify as Christian. But I would say for me, for the purposes of what we’re talking about, right, Thriving life, all of that, the key sort of things are the first hour of the day, I pray, I read scripture, a contemplate. There’s all kinds of ways to pray and contemplate. Obviously there’s all kinds of ways to read scripture, obviously. So that’s a key thing for me, spiritually speaking, being in a spiritual community. That’s a practice, I think, having a Sabbath rhythm. So I Sabbath every week, a full day of delight and rest. And you know, it’s just, it’s one of the most important parts of my life. I go to church every Sunday and community in general, sort of. I’m Immersed in that. So being deeply, deeply connected relationally with people who are. Who I can help and some other people that. Who can help me, who are ahead of me both in age and wisdom and spirituality. So all of that together, I think it’s, you know, that’s the broad strokes when it comes to spiritual practices.
Yeah. And I think you raised an important point about the importance of community, too, that you’re not having to necessarily even go this alone, but to be able to share an experience with other people, I think is so beneficial in all parts of your life.
Yeah, yeah, I think it’s essential. I mean, even in my coaching, I have cohorts for that particular reason. It’s because one on one is great. I just think there’s. There’s dimensions there that are impossible to get to unless you’re with people who are journeying with you.
Oh, yeah. Because you can. Because everybody comes from a different perspective, and you can always learn from one another. Yeah. So it’s. Yeah, I love doing that as well. You know, you mentioned early at the beginning about, you know, being, you know, especially at such a young age, we’re, like, in. Immersed in all of these different cultures, so how can we leverage different perspectives and, you know, to be able to strengthen either, you know, our lives and our businesses, Especially as we’re recording this, it’s just. It’s like crazy times. I don’t know what the rest of the year will look like, but right now it just seems like the world is going a little blah, so. But then again, the world always tends to look like that, too, so.
Yeah, you read some news newspapers from, like, a hundred years ago, and the sky was falling back then as well.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
It’s just.
Right.
It’s cyclical, I guess. Right? That’s true. That’s very true. Yeah.
So. Yeah. So. So what do you think about, you know, being in different cultures? How has that helped you and how does that. How can that help other entrepreneurs out there?
Well, one thing I learned, and this is literally luck, Right. Luck, providence, whatever you want to call it, is that when you move to four countries, literally on three different continents by age seven, you are forced into a state of being, basically. Right. So I had no choice in the matter. And the state of being is utter confusion and understanding that you have to learn very, very quickly if you want to fit in, if you want to sort of survive, even on an emotional level, obviously. And one of the stories that my dad tells me is. And I just. My dad is in Chile. He lives in Chile. My mom is Russian, my dad’s Chilean. I just spent two weeks with my dad and just all kinds of like a feast of stories and catching up and all of that. And he basically tells me the story like literally last week where I arrive in Mozambique. It’s an African country. This is after going from Chile, Spanish to Germany, German, Russia, Russian. Like everything’s different. Not only the languages, people are very different. And then you were in Africa. It’s a completely different world, right? It’s not like the neighboring state or anything like that. So I’m sitting there with, with him. He’s. He’s going, he’s taking us to have dinner with friends, his friends. And I said, hey dad, can I like stay in the car? You can go have dinner. And he said, why, what is wrong? He goes, and I said, I feel embarrassed. I don’t speak the language that you’re speaking. I guess I knew Spanish, but then I’d forgotten it when I was in Germany and Russia. By the time I was sort of really rusty on that and I was just paralyzed and confused. And he tells me I was sort of quiet for like a year, right? It’s almost like this, the trauma, the trauma of change. Change. Change got me super quiet. And what it did, in hindsight, it mobilized me. It. I sort of reoriented myself into sort of immersive learning. That’s probably the best way I can describe it, right? And I’m like, okay, I need to fit in. I need to learn fast. So the reason I tell you this story is that children in general tend to be very, very good at that, right? They are sponges. We say that about children and then they’re very creative. They play games. That’s part of the learning process, is playing games. So when people say, for example, you say to a grown up, are you a creative type? No, I’m not a creative type. I’m more of a math person. They completely are. They’re off, right? Why? Because if you go to first grade and you say to a bunch of kids, hey, do you paint? Are you an artist? Everybody will say, yes, of course. We drive, we play, we draw pictures, we experiment with things. You do the exact same question, let’s say in high school and like two thirds of the class doesn’t, they don’t raise their hand. Why? We trained creativity learning, these immersive learning, experiential learning from kids early on, and we continue suffering from that deficiency as grown ups. The reason I tell you this story is to tell you this other story. The Complexities of life, especially if you live in the US and in the west, are such that you basically are rinse and repeat every single day. You’re just barely catching up with life. Maybe you’re even underwater with life, whatever. Finances, complexity, logistics, household, all of those things. A spouse, two and a half kids, a dog, you know, all of that. So you’re barely keeping up and you stop learning. And the key, the cool thing, is that you can recreate the learning experience of a child as a grown up. The whole idea that you stop learning, that you’re not a sponge anymore, it’s a complete myth. Neuroplasticity stays forever.
You.
And one of the things that I do with people that I coach is I teach them how to incorporate deep learning into literally daily life. And that, and especially if you’re, you know, you’re building a business, you’re an entrepreneur, that’s the hardest thing you can possibly do, seriously. Maybe after marriage, okay, marriage is the hardest thing you can possibly do.
That’s true.
So, so you know, you’re building a business. And if you build a business, any entrepreneur that is listening to me right now will say, amen to this when I say you go into building a business or a new venture and you know, like, you think like, you know, okay, I know the five things that are essential to this thing, so I feel like I’m going to do well. And then you promptly realize that you need to know 50 things, not five things, right? To build a successful business. So you have to figure out a way how to learn. And so my formula for that is that 80% of what you do should be things that you know well. But you have to stay very consistent. It needs to be safe, consistent. Rinse and repeat, you know, patterns, patterns, patterns, patterns, right? And then 20% of what you do, but I mean, daily should be about exploring something new, learning a new skill, experimenting with this new approach to marketing, let’s say experimenting with messaging, experimenting with how you coach people, changing your website, oh, figuring out how AI feeds into your thing, figuring out, okay, I need some help. I don’t know how to train people, how to train people, how to hire people, et cetera, et cetera. It’s you, you, you think you can know five things. It’s not enough. You need to do 50 things. The only way to get to 50 is to learn continuously. And basically there’s a way, a systematic, step by step way to incorporate that into your day so that this is literally your new life. You are a sponge, a child, an Immersive learner.
Yeah.
And if you adopt that kind of lifestyle, you will do really well in business, basically.
Very cool. And it’s interesting because I started a new thing this year where I should have been doing this for years, but whatever, you know, I’m.
Yeah, we all think that. Yeah, I feel the same way.
So. So one of I. So I do like, a daily planner that I’m filling out. I mean, I actually have a hard copy. I’m old school instead of doing it online. But one of the things of my habits that I’ve been building is to spend at least 15 minutes a day on doing some sort of coursework.
So.
Because I. I don’t know, you know, I’m. I’m sure I’m not alone. And a lot of entrepreneurs have, you know, fallen victim to shiny object syndrome. And we sign up for a course, but then we don’t finish that. So I’m determined to actually go back in and start finishing some of these courses that I signed up for. And it really feels good to be able to at least dedicate a few minutes every day. So I love what you were talking about here because I think that is so good to be able to grow, you know, spend a few minutes or. Or spe. Know, a certain percentage of your day in learning a new skill. Because, yeah, we, we even. Even if you’re not an entrepreneur and you happen to be listening to this show, you. You are. You are creative because let’s say you’re a parent, you have to come up with novel ways to get your child to do something.
I’ve.
I experienced that when. When my kids were little and maybe still do sometimes, now that they’re adults, you still have to figure out a way to get their attention. And so if that’s not creativity, I don’t know what is.
Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, if you’re. You’re creative, if you are to create a new. A different future than today.
Right.
If not, if that doesn’t motivate you, I don’t know what will. Yeah. Because none of us are satisfied with the present future, with the present state. We also. We want more. We’re wired for that.
Yeah.
Right. We’re wired to create.
Yeah, absolutely.
You know, so. Yeah.
Well, and that brings me to my next question, which is, you know, you have, like, reinvented yourself several times. I have, but I know sometimes even, you know, as entrepreneurs, sometimes we can, you know, maybe we feel like we, you know, being called to, like, pivot, but it’s scary. So how. How do you recommend someone overcome that.
You know, you can use the same 8020 formula, but as a matter of fact, it is actually like as a full circle statement, the formula for antifragility. Right? We are, you already are antifragile. You’re just not using antifragility in a certain area. Right. So I’ll explain how that works and I can prove it to you. So if you want to get in shape, if you want to get healthy, get in shape, lose weight, whatever, build some muscle, you already know this because your body’s already antifragile. So how does that, how does that work? Imagine if you say I’m going to lose weight, I’m going to build muscle, I’m going to be lean, I’m going to be faster, more flexible, et cetera, and I’m going to start working five hours a day, every single day. What’s going to happen then?
What do you think you’re going to give up after probably about one or two days because it’s too much?
A, you’re going to give up. B, if you, if you persist, if you’re smart, you’re going to give up. If you persist, you will actually be destroy your body.
Yeah, that’s true.
Right?
Yeah.
Because your body will not recuperate and grow. It doesn’t have the opportunity to do so, you know, but if you do the 8020 principle in, in this area, this was going to happen. You’re gonna work out, you’re gonna work out and rest, work out and rest, and work out and rest. Let’s say three, four times a week, you go to the gym, you hit it for 45 minutes, you change muscles and you push yourself. And most of the time you stay within what you are able to do. Lift, let’s say, or run. And then for just a little bit, right, you stretch yourself, let’s say the 20% principle. And because you stretch yourself for just 20%, just 20% of the overall time, just a little bit, your body will become, will get the signal, get the message, get the memo, start getting stronger, more agile, faster. Your brain will actually coordinate with your, with your body and will become more cognitive. You actually become smarter if you do that. So that, that principle applies to everything, all areas of life. So, so it’s, it’s sort of the same thing, right? If you want to, you know, you start a business and you usually are good at some certain things and less good in other things, right. Nobody’s good at everything. And you have, you know, only X amount of hours a day. So if you develop these principles, this, these lifestyle changes that allow you to stretch yourself every single day, 20%, just a little bit. Right. It’s gonna not kill you. Right. Because you, like, imagine taking that course and you, and you go, okay, I have five courses that I lapsed on. Five courses, let’s say. Imagine that. I’m not saying that’s you five courses. I’m going to literally binge on, on all the five courses and I’m going to finish all of them in a week. What’s going to happen? You’re going to retain nothing.
Yeah. That’s for sure.
But if you say no, I’m going to do 45 minutes every single day from 9am to 9:45am then I’m going to take another 15 minutes, sort of absorb it, take some notes, and then I take, I’m going to take half an hour to implement some of this stuff. I’m going to go take what I’ve learned and I’m going to do something with it. I guarantee you, you will have transformational growth in like 30 days.
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I agree 100% in so many ways because I’ve definitely experienced it with a course that I’m doing right now. And also going back, Gosh, it’s been maybe 20 years now since the last time I did this. Well, I, I have done marathons in the past and they teach you the same way is that you, you can’t just immediately go out unless you’re, you know, you know, amazing, you know, runner, and just go out and expect to run 26.2 miles tomorrow. No, you’ve got to build up to that. And you do stretch yourself and you have to rest. You can’t run every single day either.
Yes.
You’re running like three times a week and then you do some other cross training or something. So.
Yeah, no, that’s the one thing that I am shocked at. I’m not surprised at, but I’m shocked that every single time is when I coach people. These are high performers. Right. These are people who want to get things done. And the culture that we’re in glorifies workaholism and glorifies this sort of the hustle culture. And there’s a, probably a sliver, maybe like 1% of people who could potentially do well in the short term with hustle culture and this sort of wear itself, you know, just, just do things until. And sleep under the desk kind of thing. Right. 99%. Will, Will. Will never do well. And workaholism is, is Is. Is endemic in America. And if you. If you translate that, if you really want to be a high performer, really truly want to be a high performer in anything, compare yourself to any Olympic athlete. Show me one athlete that goes to the Olympics and competes in a depleted state, and I’ll show you the athlete who doesn’t get. Who doesn’t medal at all. Yeah, right. But it somehow doesn’t translate into work culture. That’s why I. Sabbath. That’s why I have sort of these rhythms that I teach people about on that you cannot. You cannot grow. You cannot be a high performer if you’re depleted.
Yeah.
You have to never be depleted. And you have to work really, really intensely every day. How do you do that? You can totally do that.
Yeah. And. And it’s. I’ve heard this from. From other folks that I. I respect, and they’ve. They champion this idea of actually to go slow in order to go fast, because you do have to take. You have to take breaks, whether it’s a mental break or a physical break. You. You can’t. Yeah. Like you said, you know. Yeah. There probably are 1% of the. Of people who can, you know, just keep going, going, but I. But I bet still, at some point they may.
Yeah. And you also pay for it in other ways.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like three startups, three divorces kind of ways.
Mm. Right. Yeah.
Yeah, you pay for it for sure.
I. I’m gonna ask you this question because I. Well, actually, to. No, I just remembered it because before we got on, I was going to ask you about something and I just. Yeah, I’m going to do that one first because I find it interesting. So I. I find it fascinating. I don’t know if you’ve ever thought of this before, but how. The names we are given. And I’m guessing that your parents gave you the name Christian. That how you are now emulating that in your life. Have you ever pondered that?
I’ve actually pondered that, and you’re wrong. They didn’t give me that name, so my name was confusing. By the time I was out of college, I got a master’s degree in economics and I went completely the other way. I wanted to do music. All of my friends went into banking and finance and stuff, stuff like that. And I wanted to be a singer. Right. And it was right after the Soviet Union fell apart. So it was like this window of opportunity where it was completely free, no limitations, and anybody can try anything. And I said, okay, I’m going to try it. And my name, my birth name was Russian. Chilean. So it’s Ruslan Umberto Flores. And the Russians couldn’t pronounce my name. Basically, I had a branding problem, and I was very far from being a Christian, I assure you. And somehow. So to make your point, actually drive it home, is that I’m like, okay, Christian Ray is sort of neutral. Anybody can pronounce it in any language. I’m gonna do Christian Ray Flores. And then two years later, I became a Christian. So, yes, I believe that somehow words have power and, you know, just all words have power in general. But I would say words that are names definitely have power.
Yeah, absolutely. And. And it’s interesting. I actually did a podcast episode last year about spiritual names and that. Yeah. Because it is. Sometimes you are. You were. It is your given name, but you can also change it.
Yeah.
And choose one. And so I love that you. And I also love that the universe, God, decided to say, okay, yeah, that’s a good name. So.
Yeah, exactly. Or even maybe whispered in my ear.
Yeah.
Even before that. So it is. It is amazing, actually. It really is.
Yeah. For sure. This is the other question I’m going to ask you, because I like to ask my guests this because I love the answers that we get. So what are you curious about right now?
Ah, I’m curious about. I’m really curious about reinventing this season of life that I’m in. I just turned 56, like, a couple years. Couple weeks ago, and the kids are out of the house. Deb and I are enjoying empty nesting very, very much. And there’s sort of this new level of mobility, of freedom to it that I want to milk for all it’s worth? So that’s sort of. My new curiosity is, okay, how do I shape my next season so that I live even more exponentially than I live now, now that I have this sort of newfound independence. So to say you’re never. You’re never independent from your kids, and they’re never independent from you, but certainly they’re. They’re now basically out in the wild making their own decisions, which basically gives me permission to be out in the wild and making my own decisions. So I’m very curious about that.
Well, yes, it is a. It’s a lovely experience and. And one that takes some getting used to. And I. I love that you’re actually embracing it with that curiosity and. And excitement, it seems like, in. In your voice. Because I. I hear about a lot of, well, women in particular who are just really pining away. And. And I will say sometimes I do miss being in having my kids nearby because one lives out of the country and one lives out of the state, and. But they’re, like, really bereft over that loss.
That’s natural. Natural. It’s very natural. Well, I mean, women.
Yeah.
You are the nurturers.
Right.
And it’s profoundly primal. My wife’s the same way. And I am less of that in. And I. I embrace it as well, honestly.
Right.
Like, I miss them to death. It also helps that when your children are doing well, they’re in a good season, all three of them are sort of trending up, as I say, so it really helps. You’re not worried, basically. I’m not worried about them. Deb is not worried about them. Yeah, they’re just. They’re thriving, they’re happy, they’re puzzling. The twenties are to puzzle, you know, one of them just entered the 30s, so she’s, like, really adulting, you know, like. So. Yeah, so. So when. When. When your children, you know, and we’ve. We’ve devoted so much energy into. We poured time energy. We homeschooled two out of three. We build our lives around integrating their lives with ours. And we made all kinds of sacrifices when it comes to even business and. And income to be present, to never miss anything. And it’s paying off. It’s paying off because they’re thriving. Right. So when you’re in that place, what. That you invested and you never, you know, never know. Right. What’s going to happen.
True.
And you see the fruit of. Of this investment, of the sacrifice to actually pay off, you know, that. That my next season, in our next season with Deb is really more of a celebration of that because we feel like, you know, we did well. We did well. We deserve this.
Absolutely. Yes. Yes. And I’m very fortunate, too. And then I am very, very blessed to have two amazing grown children, one. One in their 30s and one about to turn 30 and shortly. So. And he’s even getting married now this year, which is exciting. So. Yeah. Yeah, it’s very cool. Well, I know I’ve enjoyed this, and our time has flown by rapidly. And so I would love for you to share if someone you know is listening to you and would love to be able to connect with you, learn more about you, where. How can people do that?
So if you. If you feel like, okay, those insights are helpful. The best way to connect is to go to my newsletter, ChristianRay Flores.com it’s. There’s a free version that comes every Sunday, and then there’s a sort of in depth for subscribers. It’s just a few dollars a month. I think it’s a great investment. Highly recommend it ChristianRayFlores.com It’s a newsletter that’s one place the other one if you feel like okay, this kind of Christian speaks my language. It speaks the language of my heart. And I’d like to learn more about coaching. Go to Exponential Life Exponential spelled with an X without the e. And you can reach out. But you also can find a really great assessment that we put a lot of work with and we actually use it with all of our clients. It’s called the Exponential Scorecard and what it does this is both based on my decades of experience but also the best research out there, the best studies out there. It basically gives you a really great at a glance report on this is where you are along the most important dimensions of life. This report that you get back the scorecard is highly predictive for your success and it doesn’t mean you don’t have any flat sides. Even if you have flat sides. It’s really good to know you have flat sides that you can this is the stuff you need to work on. So highly recommend taking that. It takes about five minutes probably to complete complete like 40 questions. So you can find it at Exponential Life.
All right, excellent. Well, I will have both of those websites in the in the show notes and and description on YouTube as well. So so don’t worry about trying to write it down right now. I will have it in there. So I appreciate that and I really appreciate you being here. Is there any other last little tidbit of wisdom? Anything else I should have asked you about that I did not that you like to leave our audience with today.
You know, I would say this especially I know you you told me many of the women listening, many of the audience are women. Many of them are sort of entrepreneurial types. Maybe not all of them, but I think you’re entrepreneurial in life anyway. You’re a creator as we said. Right. And the life of somebody who really embraces that that kind of creativity. You’re. I highly recommend you aim higher than you think you should aim. Here’s why. You know, because it’s hard. It’s very easy to get to convince to aim lower, you know, like lower your expectations basically. Right. And I that’s primal that I that’s understandable. But it’s not useful to you. I think aiming higher is better and I’ll tell you why this is statistically true that most people will aim for the middle because they want to fit in and they don’t want to fail and they don’t want rejection from the tribe. So the middle is super crowded. So if you aim to the middle, you’re actually making your, your life super hard. Harder than it should be. If you aim higher, it’s going to be harder to do that and maintain that optimism and that creativity and that passion. Right. That’s why you get coaching for that. But you will do much, much better because it’s less crowded.
Yeah, I love that. And there’s, I think there’s a lovely quote about, I think it’s even by an advertising guy, if memory serves me correct, that if you aim for the star, even if you fall, you’re still going to hit the moon.
Yeah, exactly. Absolutely. Absolutely. No, but, but I really do think that’s like a mindset anchor that we should have.
Yeah. Oh, for sure. Oh, this has been wonderful. Thank you so much for joining us today. I, I suspected it was going to be, but it, I think it even exceeded my expectations. So I appreciate you joining us today, Grace.
I’m grateful to be here. Thank you.
And I do want to also thank all of you for joining us today. And I hope you also received as much value as I did. There was lots of really good nuggets there. So I hope you’re taking notes or go back and listen to it again and write them down. So until next time. And of course, I’ll just do quick plug. If you’re not subscribed already. What are you waiting for? Subscribe and wherever you watch or listen to this. And until next time, as always, I encourage you to go out and live fully, love deeply and engage authentically.
