The Serenity Prayer and Why It Matters in Midlife
GLORIA GRACE RAND: Namaste. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Now, if you’re not familiar with that prayer, it’s called the Serenity Prayer, and it’s something that is often recited at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. And it’s something that my family is very familiar with. And, in fact, if you are watching this on either YouTube or New Reality TV, you may notice something right back here, I’ve got a plaque on my wall which actually lists the Serenity Prayer.
It’s written out there. And that was something that my mother had in our home when I was growing up. And probably for a couple reasons. I think number one is the fact that my dad was an alcoholic, but I think it also resonated with her because she was married to an alcoholic and then also had her own issues with food. Just a little bit of my issue that I’ve had certainly all my life as well.
I take after my mom that way is. That’s my drug of choice to cope with my feelings instead of coping with them in other ways. But I. I do have other ways now, and I’m digressing here. What does this have to do with designing your life your way? All right.
Applying the Serenity Prayer to Your Business and Life
Well, when I was planning episodes for this year, one of. One of the ones that I thought about was this prayer because I felt that this is what we have to do in our business a lot of times, you know, is to accept the things we cannot change, to have the courage to change things in our business or in our lives, and, you know, as well, and, you know, to change those things that you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And that’s.
It’s. It really is. It’s applicable, I think, for. For all areas of life. But.
A Business Version of the Serenity Prayer, Created with AI
But it was interesting is that I actually, I do use some AI from time to time. And so one of the. One of the tools I love is one called perplexity. And so I asked it to create a business version of the Serenity Prayer. And this is what it came up with, and I think it works.
So that’s what we’re gonna. We’re gonna talk about today. It says, may I accept the timing, opinions, and circumstances I cannot control, have the courage to share my gifts, make aligned business decisions and ask for the sale, and have the wisdom to know where my energy will make the greatest difference. Pretty good, huh? Yeah, AI is pretty smart for.
Well, you know, what. What goes in comes out. And. And I like that. So.
Part 1: Accepting What You Can’t Control in Your Business
So we’re going to kind of go through these three parts of the serenity prayer and talk about it and talk about how it affects women in business, women over 50 in particular. As, as I am, and as I know many of you are who are listening to this podcast or are watching it, because that’s who, that’s who I want to connect with and you are my peeps, you know, so this first part, you know, about accepting the things that we cannot change. So what does that look like? It’s really about knowing that we can’t control the outcomes in our business, but we can control activities that make outcomes more likely. So I’ve got a few examples here.
Not Getting Enough Clients? Focus on the Actions You Control
So one of the things that business owners are often struggling with, especially in, especially service providers in particular, is that we don’t get enough clients. Okay, so that’s. So what could be a, an action that you could take instead? Well, you could make sure that you’re, you’ve got a clear offer, invite people into the conversation, follow up consistently and, and make those direct invitations to work with you. So that’s one example.
Feeling Invisible Online: Build Visibility with One Core Message
Maybe you’re feeling like you’re invisible online. Something you could do instead is to make yourself more visible. And that means showing up, you know, publishing useful content regularly, whether that’s on a blog, whether that’s on social media, your, your favorite social media platform, whether that’s doing videos or, you know, posting videos on YouTube, whether that is a podcast. Maybe you’re, maybe you’re also a podcaster out there. If so, I’d love to connect with you, but, but be somewhere where you can share your story, speak on podcasts or, or do other speaking at like networking meetings or associations and, and also focus in on having like one core message that you can, or maybe, maybe two or three.
Two or three, actually, I would say. But, but something that really boils down to one clear thing that you can, you can repurpose on those different platforms.
When People Love Your Work but Don’t Buy: Sell the Benefits
Another concern that I know sometimes we entrepreneurs have is that, you know, people say they love my work, but they don’t buy. You know, let’s say you’re putting out wonderful content and they’re, they’re liking it and they’re sharing it, but when it comes time for that offer, they’re not buying. What could be the reason? Well, it could be that your offer isn’t specific enough or you’re not demonstrating the benefits of your offer enough. Maybe you’re focused too much on features like say your program is a 30 day program and it features, you know, x Number of webinars and you know, Q and A sessions.
But that’s all in, that’s all good. But you also need to be saying, why is that important? So why is 30 days important? Well, it gives you enough time to really digest the information. Why are we important?
Well, it gives you an opportunity to really, you know, immerse yourself in this information and so that you can start making meaningful change in your business or your life. Why are Q and A sessions helpful? Well, so that you can get your answer, your questions answered so that you can, you can do better in, you know, whatever it is that you’re, you’re learning. So, so you’ve got to remember to, to focus in on those, on those benefits, to help people then make that decision and say, oh yes, I do want to buy.
Overwhelmed by Technology and AI: Choose One Platform and Master It
Maybe, maybe you’re overwhelmed by technology and AI. So that could be where you need to stick with one primary platform. I know when I first was doing my focus, my business years ago when I first started was on copywriting and helping writing content for small businesses. And I would often do presentations to help them to be able to market their business. And, and so this, this lesson still applies for things that I was teaching many, many years ago is to focus, choose one platform and make sure that it is a platform where your ideal audience is active.
So if you are for instance in a B2B business, business to business, most likely LinkedIn is going to be a good place for you to hang out because that’s where your audience is. But maybe you are selling products and services that are direct to consumer, then Facebook or, or Instagram, maybe even TikTok. That’s not for me frankly. But you know, maybe those are good places where your audience is hanging out. So master that platform and that’s where you want to be and then you want to also when it comes to AI, I think as well is, oh my gosh, talk about shiny object syndrome.
It seems wherever you turn there’s a new tool, there’s a new something or other out there. I, I, I was deleting emails today from somebody trying to sell me some other new shiny thing about how to use AI. And I’m like enough, enough. I, I, I use Claude, I use Perplexity, I, I do occasionally use ChatGPT just to kind of compare and contrast sometimes the results they give me. But really stick with like one or two tools so that you are not being scattered.
You know, focus in on one place that you can learn and really use that to learn. Go all in, learn it, master it before you go on to something else or the converse of this is that. Or maybe not a converse, but another option. Yeah, that’s what I want to say. Another option is to outsource.
Outsourcing Tech Tasks to a Virtual Assistant
If you really are just someone who is not a techno fan, then hire someone who can do that stuff for you. It’s okay. And you can find people, you know, VA’s fairly inex who are fairly inexpensive and, and so maybe you only need to hire them for a few hours a week, but that is a good investment in your business and it takes an. A headache offered, you know. You know, it takes, it takes a burden off your shoulders so that you can have someone else who, who maybe loves to create images on Canva.
And you’re like, I can’t deal with this. So you give it to somebody else. Who, who. That’s their jam. And that’s, that’s a great thing.
Excuse me, one minute. I’m just gonna take a sip of water.
Fear of Being Judged as We Age: Confidence for Women Over 50
Maybe here’s another common concern, something else that maybe you can’t.
A concern that you have is that, and I know this happens especially sometimes I think. Well, yeah, I was going to say sometimes this happens as we get older, as we start, you know, being afraid of being judged because we might be compared to someone who’s, you know, 20 years younger. On the other hand, sometimes it’s good to be, to be this age because you don’t necessarily feel like you have to compare yourself anymore. It’s, it’s, it, it depends on the circumstance and the situation that you’re in. Because it’s like, I think because we’re human, you know, we, we go through this.
There’s some places where we feel really confident and then there’s others where, yeah, maybe we do feel judged and, and it could be sometimes this also happens is that as we do get older and you know, maybe we get a few lines on our face and, and things. And maybe we’re not quite as comfortable with our, our physical appearance anymore. And that does lead to, to being, you know, feeling like you’re going to be judged for being. Looking too old. So here’s my solution is there’s a couple things here.
Number one is to.
Mirror Work and Baby Steps Toward Visibility
First get comfortable in your own skin. And you can do this by. I know I’ve talked about this on the podcast before, but I’m gonna. In case you haven’t heard it, I love the concept of mirror work that Louise Hay, or at least she’s the first person I heard of who talked about this, where you look at yourself in the mirror. Anytime you pass by a mirror, look at it, look yourself in the eye and say, you know, say your name and say I love you.
And it’s gonna feel awkward and weird the first few times you do it. I guarantee it. Because I’ve done it, my clients have done it. Yeah, it’s funky. But keep doing it, keep doing it all the time.
Because once you start to fully accept yourself, then it helps to ease some of that discomfort of feeling like you’re going to be judged. Because loving yourself is really the key there. So now, now that you’ve got that under control, now you can practice visibility in small ways. Record one video, send out one email, send out one invitation. So just take baby steps.
And as you start to continue to take baby steps, the momentum grows.
Tired of Doing Everything Yourself: Systems, Boundaries, and Support
This last one kind of mentioned this a little bit about in the overwhelming is that you, you’re tired of doing everything yourself. So don’t stop, stop doing everything yourself. Figure out maybe you need some systems put in place so that you are like, like emails, you know, set up some sort of automatic system on email so that you’re not having to send out manually an email every single time and reply to someone. Build an automation sequence and if you need help with that, then ask somebody you know, or hire someone. You don’t have to do this stuff alone.
Set, set boundaries for yourself. Make sure. We talked about that as well on this show. Make sure that you’re not trying to work too many hours and, and figure out how you can find places where you can say no and not, not just agree to. Sometimes it’s even saying no to potential clients because they, maybe as you’re talking with this person, you’re realizing that they’re going to be really needy and they’re going to expect you to be on call 24 hour, 24 seven.
And maybe that’s not what you want at this stage in life so you have permission to say, you know what? I don’t think I’m the right fit for you. And hopefully you know somebody else who might be and you can refer them to that person instead.
Again, automate, where, where is it? Where is appropriate? And then ask for support. You know, whether that is hiring someone or maybe it’s just even.
Asking support from your family, from your friends. Maybe it is asking support from your clients and saying, hey, can you just email me at these times of days? This is when I’m going to be available. That goes back to the, the boundaries thing so that you are, yeah, taking control over your life. And again, there are going to be things that are going to come up that you can’t control.
Patience and Timing: The Client Who Came Back a Year Later
Maybe someone is going to not want to buy your program for whatever reason. Don’t take it personally. It might not be, it may be not the right time. I have this happen where I did years ago. I did a discovery call with a woman and it was about doing a VIP day with her.
It wasn’t the right time. Also, I think she didn’t have the money for it either. But I think especially it wasn’t the right time. She was doing something else with her life, but she really wanted to do it, but it was just, she couldn’t make it work. I continued to send out emails.
She was still on my list. And so she was hearing from me all the time. And a year later she came back to me and she said, now I’m ready to hire you. So you got to have patience because you never know. So there are things that are going to happen in your life, in your business.
When Circumstances Are Truly Out of Your Control
Circumstances will happen. I’ve had to cancel events due to hurricanes before. That was certainly something I couldn’t control. I can’t control the weather and I just had to accept it and pivot, you know, rescheduled it for a different date when we were able to do it and, and, and go with it. So, yeah, I think that, I think that’s the important thing.
Part 2: The Courage to Change the Things You Can
And so the second part, let’s go back to our serenity prayer. So the second part was about having the courage to change the things I can or have the courage to share your gifts to, to make aligned business decisions and ask for. And that’s kind of what I’ve been talking about as we’ve been, you know, giving you some ideas and things you can do. But it really is sometimes that courage is about stepping out of your comfort zone and just taking one action. Sending that follow up email here, I’ll give you an example.
The Email I Almost Didn’t Send: My First SEO Client Story
And this is again going way back to when I was first, when I first was starting my business. I, I attended a presentation. I was a member of an organization at the time called Mothers and More. And we had, sometimes we would have events where they would bring in speakers. And so I went to this event and there were these two women were doing a presentation on.
No is a complete sentence. Neat. Boundaries. We’re learning about boundaries. And I, I really enjoyed it.
And I thought, oh, you know what? I’m gonna go see if I could find their, their website. And so I, they were, they were life coaches. And so I Went and searched Orlando life coaches and I couldn’t, I couldn’t find their website. And I was, you know, surprised, disappointed.
So I, I finally, I just typed in the name of their, their website. Their, their business was called Creating Your Masterpiece. And when I did that, then, you know, of course now it shows up on Google. So I was studying about how to do SEO copywriting at the time, so learning about search engine optimization and, and how to get your website found on Google. And so I had learned enough at the time where I could look at the back end of their website and I saw that they didn’t have any keywords in there about life coaching, about being in the Orlando, Florida area.
And I said, oh, I betcha now this is a long time ago, frankly, this is one of my first clients. This is 2009. So it was a lot easier to show up on Google at that point. But I knew that I could help them. I just, I just knew it.
I knew I could help them. So.
I had to reach out to them. Now I was still very new as a business person. I was used to being an employee and now here I’m having to, at the time felt, you know, very shy about reaching out to someone. So I thought, okay, I’m not going to call them on the phone directly. I’m going to send them an email instead.
And so I wrote up this email and explained what was what I thought was wrong and why they weren’t, you know, why they didn’t show up on Google when I, when I searched for them. So I write the email, but then I hesitated and I’m like, I don’t know if I can send this email. Oh my gosh. You know, I’m reaching out to somebody trying to sell my, trying to sell my services. Oh my God.
But I finally went, okay. And I hit enter and sent the email. Well, wouldn’t you know it, I don’t know if it was later that day or then or a couple days later or something. I don’t remember now. But I got a call from them and she’s like, oh my gosh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
We were wondering why, you know, we’ve got this brand new website but our phone isn’t ringing. You know, nobody is finding us. Nobody can find us on Google. And so she hired me, I made the changes and they got on the first page of Google and they started getting clients. And that was like my, one of my first real success stories in business.
And because of that, because I was able to help her, she Became like a raving fan. And whenever we were at networking meetings, she would always, you know, tout me and say, you know, oh, Gloria, you know, really helped my business. And so you need to contact her if you need help with your website. And Jennifer Lee, thank you, thank you, thank you because you really did help me and it was my pleasure to help you. So yeah, so sometimes you, you, you’ve got to have that courage to, to take that first step.
Let Go and Let God: Releasing Attachment to the Outcome
And, and I know it can be scary sometimes, but amazing things can happen when you do that. So, so you know, it, it could be scary but just I encourage you to, you know, whether that is asking for the sale, whether that is, you know, writing a personal story or recording a video, sending that follow up email, if you do it once, you know, you just gotta do it one time. And, and then this is where, you know, I talk about the love method. This is let go and let God. Okay, just, just let go and don’t hold any attachment to the outcome because that’s what I did.
I, I really didn’t have any attachment to it. I just was like, okay, you know what, I sent it. I, you know, it’s in their hands now. I, I, I felt good about reaching out and, and that’s what you have to do too because then once you do that first step, the next step gets easier and easier and easier. So I know another example, one time I was, I did a, I did a video course where I was teach or it was a, it was like a program to help people to become more comfortable being on video.
And so I would, I created a Facebook group and then the people who bought the course would have to go in and do daily videos each time and, and it was, it was scary for them to do it. But by the end of it, I know one of the women who, who did it, she was, she started doing videos all the time. And so really it just, but she needed that encouragement to get over her fear. And once you do that, you know, it’s great things can happen. Okay, I’m going to take another drink of water because I’ve been talking mile a minute here.
Part 3: The Wisdom to Know the Difference
And the other part of this, the other part of this serenity prayer is about having the wisdom to know the difference. So this is, this is where the, the rubber meets the road, as they say, having discernment and because yeah, this can be a little bit of a tricky part about, you know, knowing, you know, when is the right time to, to do something or you know, should I invest in a program? Should I pivot my business because it’s not going well or, you know, should, whatever, you know, it’s, it’s, This is what, this is why it’s so important. And one of the things that I always talk about is that one of the ways to help you, and I’m going to go over some other things too, but one of the, one of the first ways I’ve, I’ve learned is for help with that is to spend time getting to know yourself. And by yourself, I mean your higher self, your, your inner wisdom, and really getting to tap into, being able to tap into that.
Cultivating Inner Wisdom Through Meditation, Journaling, and Nature
And I recommend meditation. But any type of practice that you can do, whether it’s journaling, whether it is meditation, whether it’s just walking in nature, but spending time alone with your thoughts every day, whether it’s 10 minutes, whether it’s an hour, but spend time with yourself every day because that is the first step in really being able to, starting to cultivate that inner knowing. So that when you do have a challenge that comes up or an opportunity that comes up and you have to decide, do I want to take that step? Do I want to invest in this? Do I want to send that email?
Do I want to raise my prices?
Butterflies or Terror? Checking In with Your Inner Knowing
When you have gotten to know yourself, you can kind of check in with yourself and, and see, okay, does the prospect of this totally terrify me or does it just make me a little nervous? Are there just some little butterflies in my stomach and is there another part of me, my heart, that is saying, I want to do this, I want to do this? This is scary, but, oh, I really feel like this is something good for me.
Three Questions to Sort What’s Within Your Control
So here are some couple questions that you can also ask yourself about this. So one thing is, you can say, you can ask is, so let’s say something has come up and say, okay, is this within my direct control? So for instance, is this, you know, creating a landing page and making sure that your offer is really clear?
Setting boundaries, of course, making an offer, follow up, you know, sending out those follow up emails, making a phone call, radical concept. Or maybe texting somebody, you know, whichever. Ask yourself that first and then is this something that you can, Can I influence it but not guarantee it? You know, is this something again, you know, we were talking about taking, taking some small actions and, you know, and then seeing what happens. Or is it something that’s truly outside my control?
You know, like I mentioned, you know, the hurricane, you know, the weather, that’s totally out of my control. Now I have to decide what to do because of that it could also be, you know, an algorithm change might happen and suddenly even though you’re website was ranking really well, now it’s not. So now maybe you’re going to have to do some different ways of marketing because of that. Maybe it’s just somebody else’s opinion. Okay, well that’s, that’s their opinion.
You know, you can’t change someone’s opinion if they say, you know what, no, I don’t want to work with you. And even if you’ve offered them some other ideas, if they finally just say no, well then you have to accept that. And now once you have that information, now this is where you can place your energy so that it will have a useful return.
The 15-Minute Serenity CEO Check-In
So here’s an idea for you. I want to share with you something that a weekly practice that you could in. What’s the word I’m looking for that you can institute. It’s not the word I’m looking for, but that one works. A weekly practice that you can start doing.
There we go. Simple, simple words. We could call it a 15 minute serenity. CEO check in. And you can do this at the end of the week.
So you might want to do is write down one issue that is weighing on you. Whether it is maybe your launch isn’t going as well as you expected, you’ve got a difficult client, maybe there’s a fear of being visible, posting a social media post or something, or revenue concern, technology frustration.
Three Lists: Let Go or Accept, Act On This Week, Learn or Decide
So what you can do now is to create three lists and one is going to be to let go or accept. The next is going to be act on this week what you can do. And then the third one is going to be learn or decide. So I’ll give you, I’ll give you an example. So let’s say something that you has happened is that, that you need to let go or accept is let’s say that you had, you had a client and they decided that they weren’t going to continue with you.
And so they’re, they’re, they haven’t, they haven’t been working with you for a while. Maybe it’s, maybe it’s been six months or a year. Well, you could do now something to do this week is let’s say maybe you’ve got a new offer now, maybe you’ve got something that you’re doing differently that you think this client could actually benefit from. Well, you could start sending out messages to them and just, just nothing. Not making the offer yet.
Just, hey, how are you doing? You know, I’ve been Thinking about you lately and I just wanted to check in and see what’s new. So do that. Maybe you’ve got a couple of people like that and send out some messages to people and then what you want to, once they’ve, you know, maybe heard back from you now you can make an offer to them and then just make sure in this learn or decide column is before you make that offer is because that could be the next week. Is.
Is it clear enough for someone to say yes? So you want to make sure about that.
When a Social Media Post or YouTube Short Underperforms
Let me give you another example. Let’s say you are. You’ve had an Instagram post that just didn’t, didn’t have as much reach as a prior one. Or maybe in my case I’ve had, I had a YouTube short. I had one do really well over the weekend and then the other one, no it didn’t.
So I could put this on my column of okay, let go or accept. Let’s see. So what am I going to do with that? All right, fine, I’m going to accept it, I guess. But maybe what I could do this week is you could turn, let’s say in the instance of an Instagram post or even my video too, maybe I could turn that into a post or I mean turn it into.
Well, yeah, in my case I could turn the video into a post and try that instead. Or if you have something, maybe you have a social media post that didn’t do as well, maybe try turning it into an email or try it on a different platform. Maybe it’ll do better there. And then what you can, what you’ll learn from that is maybe see which platform is actually generating conversations. So that’s something to do.
One Courage Action in the Next 48 Hours
And, and also something else that you can do is, is after you’ve got this list, you know, and for that one, that one thing is now follow it up with one courage action that not only, you know, you’ve got your one thing that you’re going to do the next week, but do one thing that you can get. Commit to one thing. That’s what I want to say. Commit to one thing that you can get done in the next 48 hours and make it specific. You know, maybe it’s invite three women onto a discovery call.
Maybe it’s making a. Pitching yourself to a local group to do a presentation. Maybe it is recording a two minute video where you explain your, your signature framework, something like that. Maybe, maybe it’s raising your prices even, you know, it’s a good idea to do that once in a while. So here’s some ideas.
Returning to the Original Serenity Prayer
So I hope, I hope that’s helpful. And I, I think the, I really love this idea of the Serenity prayer is that, and in fact, I might even just, I’m going to read it again because I think, I think it’s so important and I’m just going to, and actually, I’m not even going to do it. I’m going to go back to the original one, not, not necessarily the business one, because I think the original is, it survived for many years because of this. So it says, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
You Don’t Have to Prove Your Worth or Control Every Outcome
And that’s, that’s what we can do, you know, at, as, as women over 50, you know, you don’t have to chase every trend. You don’t have to prove your worth or control every outcome. Your work is to honor what you know, to choose the actions that are yours to take and stop giving power away to things that was never yours to control.
Yeah, you know, that’s, that’s really about, that’s really it. And it’s really about that last part. You know, that, that wisdom to know the difference really is, as we age, we hopefully are gaining more. We’re gaining more is wisdom, but it’s also about really trusting ourselves. And I know, I think we don’t often give ourselves credit for the knowledge that we have and because sometimes we take it for granted.
You Are Perfectly Imperfect
And that’s where it’s really great to have someone else who can validate that for you. But it’s okay anyway, you know, what am I trying to say here? You’re okay, you know, just the way you are. You’re, you’re perfectly imperfect. And that’s, that’s great, you know, Are there rare areas of improvement?
Sure. We all do. We all have areas where we can improve, and that’s fine. And it’s, yeah, it’s, I don’t know. I’ve lost track of where I wanted to go with this, but I, I, I just want you to know that you are amazing.
That’s why, that’s what I just want to say. You are amazing. You know, you’re listening to this podcast. If you’ve listened this long, you really are amazing. And I, and I’m so grateful for you.
A Light Language Gift for Releasing What You Can’t Control
And because I’m so grateful for you, I’m going to share one last, one last thing that for you, that it’s my gift to you, and I’m just going to do a Little, little, little short message of light language, which I want to invite you to listen to this with an open heart and an open mind. Listen to it hopefully when you’re not driving a car.
Because it. It’s something that I wanted to speak to your heart, to allow you to start to release whatever it is that you cannot control, to accept that what you cannot control as well, and to have and to cultivate that inner wisdom, to know the difference. So I’m going to do that right now. So I invite you to just take a deep breath, set the intention as I do that whatever you’re going to hear is going to be for your soul’s highest good and the highest good of all.
Serenity Is Not Passivity: Closing Thoughts for Midlife Entrepreneurs
Ah. Okay. So let me leave you with this. Today is that serenity is not passivity. It is confident, focus, Courage is not the absence of fear.
It is choosing the next aligned action despite fear. And wisdom is knowing that your success does not require you to do everything. It requires you to do the right things consistently.
Okay, I think that’s gonna do it for us for this week. Oh, goodness. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening.
Thank you for being a subscriber on whatever platform you’re on. And I encourage you to go out now, today and until we meet again and just live boldly and on purpose.
