In today’s episode of Live. Love. Engage., I talk about how you can handle life’s inevitable disappointments with ease and grace.
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Gloria Grace Rand: Welcome to live love engage I am Gloria grace Rand and I am delighted to be with you today I am Broadcasting actually live on Facebook from my Facebook page i’ve been doing it for my personal profile for the last few weeks, I thought i’d shake things up and try it on my Facebook page instead.
And today i’m going to talk about handling disappointments when life doesn’t go your way and i’ve had some personal experience with this last week. And what I want to share with you is really about how to handle it because let’s face it, things are not going to go your way, so let me, let me back up and share with you.
A little bit of what i’m talking about so I was fortunate enough last week to receive I was contacted by someone who had been actually watching The podcast she’s seen me for a while she knew, and I was going to be doing a presentation for a group that she’s a member of and so she was looking forward to seeing that And she was really impressed with my message, and what I do and so she invited me to be a speaker on not one but actually two retreats that she was planning to have. And this was really exciting because, especially because number one one retreat was going to be in Costa Rica In the fall and then the other retreat was going to be in Tuscany Italy and I have always wanted to go to Italy and I thought wow this is, you know dream come true, this is something that i’ve been journaling about visioning about for quite a while now to be actually not only be invited to speak but also she was going to pay my expenses and, in fact, as we got into the negotiation, also to be able to pay my feet, to speak because I was going to be doing two three our presentations at these retreats and so it’s going to be a lot of work to be able to prepare for those.
And so I was very excited and then along the way that the trip to Costa Rica fell through because she decided to go a different way, with a speaker who would have more Experience with her particular industry that she was dealing with and it’s like okay i’m okay with that you know it happens.
But then last week at the end of the week, I found out that she decided not to do the retreat in Tuscany either, and that she wanted to do something else that would be a little more cost effective for her, or should I say actually more cost effective in that she wasn’t going to be spending expanding as much money and that, hopefully, she would also be making some more money and as a business owner hey I can relate to that you know it makes perfect sense.
We want to be able to find ways to promote our business, but in a way that is going to give us the best return on our investment and so it was like oh so nice, you know for a minute I thought I had an all expenses paid trip to Italy, and I was going to be able to teach people and teach them about the love method that I wrote about in my book Live love engage, which was published just a couple of months ago.
So I was really excited to be able to help people and to really share this message about how to how to stop doubting yourself and how to really go out and live life to the fullest and that’s You know that’s one of the reasons I started this podcast was to be able to help people to live fully loved deeply and engage authentically. So big disappointment, how did I handle it. Let me tell you first of All this in the past, which is that I would have been really, really disappointed and so disappointed that I might have you know reached for a carton of ice cream and and eaten my disappointment You know, and certainly, perhaps even had a big cry but i’ve done a lot of work in the past and, in particular, one of the things that I have studied a few times now i’ve gone through.
Doing this reading this book for several times and i’m going to actually share with you for those of you who are watching on YouTube. And, and our Facebook right now it’s a book called the science of getting rich and I actually actually took this course with a woman named tasha Chen so i’m going to give her a big shout out right now, if you want to know about abundance definitely check out tasha Chen. And she has something called the science of getting rich academy and where it starts off where you do you go through this book it’s a book that was written Oh, I think, in maybe the night early 1900s. And it’s by a gentleman named wallace D wattles and it’s it’s similar to thinking grow rich in that he really does talk about the fact that there is a science To getting rich and it’s about using our thoughts, it really is about using our thoughts and and and having a clear vision of what it is that we want to have in mind and then And then Having that come into fruition and and the thing is what I have learned is that sometimes things don’t come into fruition, maybe exactly how you envisioned it and oftentimes they come out better and that’s.
So that’s actually how i’ve decided to to handle these disappointments, is that i’ve chosen to reframe it as an event, an opportunity that’s something better, is going to come along, for me, and what I learned out of this. Out of the situation that happened last week were a couple of things, is that it gave me an opportunity to actually step into my power as a speaker and to make an offer, and to you know submit a proposal to this woman and where I asked for certain fee, in addition to the Having my expenses paid, and I was able to you know spell out what it was, I was going to provide for her so I haven’t an actual speaker proposal put together now.
And, and then she initially balked at the price and she thought you know that’s a little bit too much, and you know, so I said well hey why don’t we let’s negotiate a little bit, and so we did, and we were able to see them came back and offered me a lower fee which I accepted because i’m still getting a trip to Italy, out of this and I was like yeah and she actually didn’t even come that far down in price for what I originally submitted to her.
So, so the lesson for me was that this was good practice number one it was validating that somebody wanted to was willing to money, at least initially, to have me speak to fly me out to Italy and was really good for my ego to know that.
And then number two and gave me an opportunity to practice negotiating which I will confess to say is that i’m not haven’t in the past, always been very good at, but it really gave me this opportunity to practice and to own my value As a speaker and to because I really did I did some research first and I, and I reached out to people ask them, you know what should I know about you know do going through this process and got a lot of great advice. But ultimately I had to decide that okay if i’m going to be doing two three our presentations what is going to be involved in that how much work, am I going to have to do and then was actually one of my coaches reminded me of that to really think about that how much work, am I going to have to put in To do this work and and that work has value so that’s where I was able to then come up with with a speaker fee.
So all of this has been really good experience for me And that is the lesson that I want to leave with you today is that when disappointment hits number one is to look for, See look for the silver lining is there a silver lining and what happened Is there something that you can learn from it were you able to practice something as I was able to practice, you know submitting a proposal and negotiating. Look, for those opportunities and then just to hold faith that something better, is going to come along that perhaps the reason why this didn’t happen was because of something better coming along and I think the universe gives us these these.
You know, some people might say it’s a tease but, but I think it’s an opportunity, I think it was just a wonderful opportunity it helped me to really own my value as a speaker and I was really looking forward to it and, and it was good for my ego to know that somebody you know invited me to speak at their event, I mean that felt, really, really good.
So there was a lot of pluses that came from this, am I disappointed that I don’t get to go on this retreat sure, but maybe it’s because maybe i’m going to host my own retreat next year and now it’s freed up my my energy my my creativity that I can actually do that and and start working towards that goal, so I think that’s essentially the The lesson I would like to leave with you today is to Look at those disappointments that come your way and and and, of course, allow yourself the feelings, because it is important to have those feelings of you know disappointment and just say Oh, you know what a shame that didn’t work out the way I planned bummer. And then look for the bright lining and it look for that silver lining and even if you can’t see any right now. Trust the one will be real to you.
Because I can almost guarantee it will, because I have had disappointments, in the past two that have wound up leading to something better, it almost 100% happens there’s something better comes along. And it might not be something you see right away, it might be something that takes a while. But if you just keep going forward and you keep holding on to the vision of what it is that you want to achieve in life and take action towards making that happen, then something as good or better will inevitably come along.
Alright that’s going to do it for this edition of live love engage if you have some value and what I had to say today, and would like to actually talk more about maybe maybe you need some help and learning how to handle disappointments I would love to be able to chat with you about it so You can set up an appointment to talk with me if you go to engage with Gloria dot com and actually you see if I can put that up here Oh yes, I have it right there I can show there you go go For those of you watching go to engagewithgloria.com and you can schedule a time to speak with me on my calendar when you go to that link and let’s let’s have a chat there’s no, you know no i’m not going to try to sell you anything.
i’m just going to have a conversation with you and and, at the end of the call if there is an opportunity where you decide that you would like to work with me one, then we can have that conversation too, but initially, I just want to be able to support you help you to gain some clarity on what it is that you need support with and we’ll go from there.
So until next time, as always, I encourage you to go out and live fully love deeply and engage authentically.