Mary Huang is America’s Female Empowerment Expert and joins us in this episode. She wrote the Amazon best-seller called “The Empowered Child: Raising Conscious, Confident & Connected Kids.” She has a decade of experience helping women rapidly transform traumatic experiences into points of power.
She also Founded Light Warrior School, which fostered emotional intelligence in children. She’s here to share her own personal journey and also to talk about courage, empowerment, and how to recover from trauma.
On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:
- What is important for us to understand about our early experiences.
- What happens when children grow up in abusive environments.
- What Mary’s own healing journey looks like.
- Why having kids is a fast track to self-development.
- How Mary uses her experience to help others.
- The best advice Mary has ever received.
- When Mary wrote her best-selling book, and what inspired her to write it.
- How Light Warrior School differed from the conventional education system.
- Mary’s advice to parents dealing with pandemic-related issues in their children.
- What Mary went through personally during COVID.
- How to handle moments of increased awareness.
- Tips for conscious parenting and how it benefits the children.
- Why Mary says she “graduated” when she left her marriage.
- What Mary does as an empowerment coach.
- The four pillars that Mary teaches.
- An example of a recent client win.
- The inspiration for Mary’s name for her website.
- What Mary is teaching in her Masterclass.
Connect with Mary
Mary’s Website: https://priestesstemple.kartra.com/page/maryhuang
FB Group- http://bit.ly/maryhuanggroup
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Connect with me on Instagram: @gloriagracerand
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[00:00:02] I am Gloria Grace Rand, founder of the Love Method and author of the number one Amazon best seller, Live Love Engage How to Stop Doubting Yourself and start being yourself. In this podcast, we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to live fully, love deeply and engage authentically so you can create a life and business with more impact, influence and income. Welcome to Live, Love, Engage.
[00:00:37] Namaste and welcome to Live, Love, Engage, I am Gloria Grace Rand, and today we’re going to be talking about women empowerment and also how to recover from trauma and traumatic experiences. And I’ve got a guest with us on the show who is an expert in that field, and her name is Mary Wong. And first off, I want to welcome you to live, love, engage.
[00:01:06] Mary, thank you so much. Honor to be here.
[00:01:11] It is our privilege as well. And I want to share with our listeners and also viewers on YouTube a little bit more about you and why I thought you’d make a great guest for our show today. She is America’s female empowerment expert and an author. She’s written a couple of books, including an Amazon international bestseller called The Empowered Child Raising Conscious, Confident, Connected Kids. And she has also spent over a decade of experience helping women to rapidly transform traumatic experiences into points of power. She’s the founder of the Light Warrior School, which fosters emotional intelligence in shape in children. If I can speak today and she is creator of optimal human development. And you know what? Actually, I was going to read a little bit more of this, but I’m thinking, rather than telling everyone about your story in particular, we’re going to get to that. But I will say one last thing. Is that what you do what Mary does is she has used used her experience actually to help women to be able to connect the dots between healing personal traumas and consciously raising the next generation of empowered children. And so I think let’s start right there, because I know that there’s a personal story. I believe in how you got interested in your career in business. So I wonder if you could share that with us.
[00:02:47] Absolutely, Gloria. So thank you for that intro. Thank you so much. You know, it’s very important for us to understand that who we are today is formed by those early years of how we were parented and what the experience was as a child in that family. And the reason I got into this field of work is basically I was born into it and I was born for this. What do I mean? Well, I was born into a family of abuse and toxicity raised by two narcissists and one of them being majorly depressed. I know, Gloria, you will understand and hopefully the viewers can imagine that the level of abuse that a child has to endure in those environments are just too much. The thing is, though, when a child, a new life is born into an environment like that, violence and neglect is normalized. It’s normalized. How would a child know that this abuse is not OK, that the rest of the world isn’t operating this way now? Unfortunately, a lot of lives are operating this way, and that’s why I do what I do. But when we go through that kind of transformation to heal those wounds so that I have two young daughters now, when I found myself repeating my parents abusive marriage in my own marriage and my children were asking me, Mommy, are you OK? I had that a ha moment of this has to stop right here. I had to change the ancestral storyline so that my two daughters wouldn’t have to repeat the same generational trauma. And so what happens is when a child is born into abuse, they repeat that cycle all throughout their lives into adulthood, whether it be abusive bosses, the type of clients that you attract, the relationships, friendships, everything, even with your own family members, it just gets repeated. And so when people don’t understand the mechanism behind why it’s happening or that it’s even abnormal, there’s no way they can make a change in their life. And I’m here to help people understand change is possible. It’s not normal. It’s not healthy. And then we must make the change for future generations.
[00:05:03] Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I can I can so relate to that because I know when my kids were little, they’re grown now and thankfully they have turned out to be wonderful, wonderful young adults and I’m very proud of them. But I remember especially with my son, that I lost my temper with him one time. And and I’m almost embarrassed to say this, but I think I did strike him. I mean, I don’t think it was hard. It wasn’t enough to really or maybe it was just that I grabbed him. I think maybe really hard. As soon as I did that, I stopped and I I was just like, oh my God. And and and I apologized to him, frankly. And even though, you know, he was little and probably was totally confused, I was probably maybe six or seven. But that was something that my mother never did to me. And so even though I was horrified that I was starting to repeat those same patterns, it that really did shake me to my core. And I didn’t continue down that road, thankfully. Is is that what happened with you? I mean, I think in raising children, is that kind of what was the catalyst for you to sort of really take a hard look at your upbringing and and find a way to then be able to deal with that trauma and to overcome?
[00:06:26] I’ll tell you, the healing journey has been my whole life. I’ve I went into to study psychology at NYU. I’ve gone into Chinese medicine. All the different modalities of healing I went into was originally to to help and save my mom. And then I learned the hard lesson that you can’t save anybody, not even the mom that you love. Answering your question, though, having children is like the fast track to self development. Absolutely. Have had those moments that you just described. That’s why I wrote this book here called The Empowered Child, because. I came from an authoritarian parenting environment. That’s what I was raised under this iron fist. There’s no you don’t have a voice. You don’t have independence, creativity, nothing. And I wanted to be different. But when I found myself, even though I was conscious and working on it and been an empowerment coach for over 10 years as a first time parent, it’s a whole new thing to read all the books you want. But that’s what I discovered was that’s very interesting. Depending on the age of the child that you’re raising, if you have unhealed wounds of that age category, they will put on those wounds. They will activate it for you to realize what’s hiding in your blind spot, in your shadow. And so my two kids helped me grow a lot because they were pushing on these hidden secrets that I had oppressed and suppressed because they were too scared to look at the type of abuse that I went through as a child. And so I thank them for that. That’s why I call them teachers.
[00:08:03] Absolutely. Well, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anybody actually describe that that way before, but oh, my gosh. Because I used to say that my daughter was three going on 13 and then for going on 14 because she knew how to push my buttons tremendously. And but but when you put it that way, it’s like it really makes me wonder, like, what was I going through in my childhood? And for that stirred that up inside of me that when she was offering a mirror to me to look at. That’s so interesting, so fascinating
[00:08:38] Is very fascinating.
[00:08:41] Can you tell me a little bit about that? And maybe this goes with the journey that you’ve been on, both as an empowerment coach and and even as as a parent. What is the best advice that you have ever received?
[00:09:00] The best advice I’ve ever received and there’s been a lot is when someone showed me the importance and how to listen to my own inner guidance system. And we are all born with the ability to tap into that because we’re all born with the divine spark, the divine blueprint that is unique to each of us. But how do we access that? How do we even know that if our adults are around us? Didn’t know. They could not teach us that. But because I was lucky enough to have someone teach me that, now I teach it to my children. I used to own a school that I had to shut down in order to flee this abusive marriage. But that school kind of like where your school was all about keeping that divine blueprint awake within the children so that we can have the next generation of soul guided leaders. And so the most important thing that I ever learned was there is an inner voice that I need to listen to and have.
[00:10:03] It’s awesome. When when did you write The Empowered Child and what was the catalyst for getting that going?
[00:10:10] Yeah, that was probably twenty eighteen. I had just opened the school in twenty seventeen and only because I was solving a real issue. I was having my five year old at the time. She was five at the time, graduated from a progressive preschool. I didn’t want to put her in mainstream education, so I opened up a school and then other parents came and it was, we were very progressive. We were teaching academics, but also is focused on emotional intelligence and psychic hygiene and things and teaching them tools on stress management, meditation, tapping, sound, healing, things like this. All of wonderful, giving the vocabulary and the space that it is. We we acknowledge who they are and that they came through us, but they don’t belong to us. And so that’s the environment that we created for these children. And so parents were asking me, can you coach us? Can you teach us what you’re doing at the school? And so I wrote this book to teach some of the tools, the empowered system of parenting, acknowledging the child is a divine being that’s coming into our care. And we’re actually like an earth angel here to guide them as best we can from what we’ve learned and continue to learn about what it is, how to be a human, the ropes of life, and then knowing that someday they will be off on their own to fulfill their destiny. But our job is to really protect that space for them and these early years so that they’re not being bombarded with all that society’s telling them that they should be or even from our own family stories, our ancestral lineage, we should be what you should do. No, you tell me who you want to be. Tell me you remember of what you came to do. What is your destiny? Let me be your facilitator. And that’s what this book is about.
[00:12:05] That’s awesome. Um, have you found of like how has the past year been? Whereas for recording this is the middle of February and we’re just about the one year mark of when we went into lockdown from the pandemic and everything. What I guess maybe what’s been your experience of that, especially in relationship to your children? And and do you have any advice for for parents and and just maybe from what you’ve seen, what your experience has been, or maybe even in dealing with even your own experience of any of your clients or anything?
[00:12:45] Yes, that’s a very good question, because children really suffered even more than adults. I believe children are very resilient. We’ve now we know how much stress the adults have gone through globally. Nobody has gone untouched, but young people are even more impacted. The level of Zoome lessons that they have to spend hours on end gratefully. We’ve always homeschooled, so it’s not been a very different experience for them. But I hear from other friends how they’re spending five, six hours on the computer watching Zoome. It’s not good for their brain. Their brains aren’t ready for that. It hasn’t finished forming those. That kind of activity is too much. And so it shows up as kids that are not listening, kids that are having a hard time and it’s showing up in these really dysfunctional ways. What parents can do is and this book actually has the foundations of helping people deal with that. What I what I saw was now my situation, like a lot of people have their own stories. I was in the middle of fleeing an abusive marriage and a divorce during covid and going into a new town and moving them to a new town. So having the tools of acknowledging them. So this is the advice I can give parents.
[00:14:05] Now, every child is going through their acting out and you think maybe they’re manipulating, maybe they’re, you know, what’s going on with this kid? Why are they doing X, Y and Z? If we can take a coach’s mentality and take that separation of this is my kid, they should listen to me. They should do as I say. Let’s embody what it is to be a different mindset that encourages and empowers. So No one, when we’re a bodying, they’re naturally going to be receiving that as a model. No, to what we’re doing is we’re asking questions rather than making them wrong. So rather than punishing and taking away their favorite toy or their phone or whatever, you know, giving them the space and giving them permission to say, hey, you know what, why don’t you go take a minute, do something that feels really good, and then when they come back to center at another time, that’s not linked to this. My emotional state, because when emotions are high, intelligence goes well, it is time to talk even with lovers, bosses, whatever, right. So we want to give them a safe space to go digest or at least come back to center. And then we have the chance to come back to center and think about how do I want to approach this and then come to them when it’s like a better feeling time.
[00:15:26] Hey, you know, I noticed like a day ago, you know, we ran out of cereal, probably like a five year old would flip out about running out of cereal. And they noticed this happened. I had these conversations with my little ones. And you really had a hard time with that and then open the conversation. But what happened? Like, what were you really upset about? Was it really the cereal? And my my little one would be like, no, it’s the divorce. It’s really hard driving back and forth and not having mommy and daddy together. That’s my situation. But a client situation, well, would be different. But you’re giving them the opportunity to be seen or heard, acknowledged and understood what human doesn’t want, that every human wants it when we give that to them at this early stage of life, we are integrating them with the blueprint and the program that you are worthy of me hearing you. You are deserving of me asking you and you are enough and good enough for me to want to stop and understand
[00:16:31] That is so important. And I think especially just as important as it is to validate, I think it’s also really wise for them, you as a parent, to also be able to take that time to calm down. Because in the heat of the moment, because, like I said, I’ve definitely been there. I mean, I’ve even done this in interactions with my husband. It’s like I just kind of like flip out and it’s like, oh, no, why did I do that? I didn’t really want to do that. I really and it might have not even been what even what he said. I might have been upset about something else. It just something triggered. And so if you can learn to just pause and take a break and say, yeah, let’s let’s do something, you know, take take a time out, go do something else fun. I like that is something that is more pleasing at the moment to diffuse the situation. So that’s good.
[00:17:23] You know, you did great, though. I wanted to say really quick here is that you apologized right after you had the awareness. We’re not perfect. You better believe I’ve done things that I regret and be like, oh, that is not what a conscious parent does. And I’m a teacher. So but the thing is, giving the children, number one, when we apologize and own it, we are giving them the model of when they make mistakes, it’s OK to own it. Self responsibility, self awareness. Those are like the first two key foundational pieces we need in order to be able to be resilient and change and become good leaders as number one. And number two, giving them permission. I give my kids permission to call me out. I teach them how, I show them the way to do it is respectful. There’s just respectful. And I say, hey, when mommy’s out of alignment, you can call me out and just see, mommy, you’re out of alignment and then go and give yourself some space. And so you do the right thing. We’re not perfect and we expect ourselves to be perfect. Life is way too stressful.
[00:18:31] Oh, absolutely. Yeah, because we’re we’re not we’re at you mentioned earlier that there is a divine spark in us. And I absolutely believe that we are created in God’s image and we this human part of us that is going to make mistakes. And that’s OK, because that is how we learn and grow. That’s important. One of the things that I know that I have practices that I work with my clients on and I teach them is the importance of attitude. And because I have found that is really the key to so much having so much more good in our lives. So I wanted to ask you I was curious to find out what what are you the most grateful for in your life?
[00:19:23] So I also practice gratitude. And, you know, it’s I can name so many things right now. What comes to mind is my two daughters and not just because they’re my two daughters, but when I found myself in that situation, I mentioned earlier when my little one came to me, she was four at the time and asking, Are you OK, Mommy? I didn’t like the way Daddy was talking to you. And they me be a ha moment in the wake up call, it still was a hard decision to go from there to leaving. Sure, because the responsibility of what the impact my choice was going to create on everyone, then ripple effect was so big I had to sit with it and they gave me the courage. They each gave me a way to have the courage to lie and take them with me. And that’s why I’m so grateful, because after leaving, that also allowed us to rewrite our ancestral storyline from oppression to liberation, from unconscious repetition of abuse and toxicity to true freedom and bliss. And that’s why I’m so grateful for them.
[00:20:31] That’s awesome, kids. Our kids are pretty wonderful and I know I’m definitely grateful for mine. And as I said, I’m really grateful that despite despite some of the mistakes that I made as a parent, one thing I did consciously do is I really did strive to be better or to or at least to do things I wouldn’t say better, but to do things differently than the way I was raised. And so I made that conscious effort. And and I do believe that it made a difference. And I’m really very proud of how they turned out. And I know yours well are you are absolutely setting them up for success and just so much more of for them to be much more awake and them and to be they’re not going to have to go through so much stuff that you went through or or that other. Had that trauma because at least you’re teaching them how to be able to manage their feelings and that’s so important. Can you talk a little bit about your work that you do because you do work with women? So tell me a little bit about how that works. What what are you what are you doing in life as an empowerment coach?
[00:21:52] And this is also why I’m grateful. I’m so grateful that I get to live my destiny, even though I had to go through so much trauma to this my whole life that that era is done. I graduated when I left that marriage, and it took that to be able to understand all that I had to do to graduate. And so now I get to live my destiny of serving women, healing from toxic, abusive relationships to transform those traumatic moments into points of power rapidly. That’s what I get to do. And it just lights me up because when when I can sit with the client and I know that what I’ve gone through is now helping other people become victorious from where they where they’re coming from, where they they’ve been, and now they can stand on top of that and also be bitter. Is that just lights me up every time and never gets old? Like, that’s why I’m on the planet now.
[00:22:46] Absolutely. Can you can you share maybe an example of how you work with someone?
[00:22:52] Oh, yes. Now I know you were asking me the how I was doing it, but how has to do with different things. I teach a mentorship course online and there’s four pillars that I teach. And there are the four pillars that most changed my life. That’s why I mastered them so that I can teach others. And number one, it’s mental mastery. The subconscious mind holds these blueprints of programs that are erroneous. There’s good ones. Leave those the ones that are misinforming you about life. We got to get rid of those and put in new ones. They’re like taking out the software and putting it in power ones that you create. So that’s the first pillar. Second is closing. Phumzile is energy management. Now, all that I teach is energy management. Whether it’s your thoughts subconsciously or how you use your environment or where you live and work to place things and use colors and all the different systems of this ancient Chinese wisdom to harness the the energy to help fulfill your destiny. For me, it’s all about fulfilling your destiny. And the next is spiritual prayer. Knowing how to pray and have a spiritual life is so foundational beyond everything, because we are mostly this unseen substance of spirit and living in this body temple. Right. That’s probably the most important thing someone taught me, was that we are actually a body temple with this divine spirit in here to do work on this planet.
[00:24:23] So that’s a third. And then the fourth one is energy work. That’s very broad because it can go from soul level healing, it can go from clearing out a space. But these are the things that I have learned and I teach my children. I teach my my clients. And so that’s the how. Now, a client, the most recent one I can share with you is she was in the middle of a divorce, has a five year old son, owns four or five different businesses. Oh, wow. Yeah. And in the middle of packing up and selling her house because of the divorce and so much more so you can imagine the level of overwhelmed she was going through everything from going through these rapid transformation sessions. She wanted to work with me one on one, so we worked one on one. You can go really deep and within three sessions. She told me that her employee actually pulled her aside and said, I really noticed the difference in you and even in the way your parenting your child, because he was really acting out a lot because it was a toxic, abusive family breakup. And so he was acting out a lot. And I was able to help with her healing her own abusive childhood and help her with parenting. Her son and her employee noticed that. That made me very happy.
[00:25:40] That’s awesome. Well. How can how can someone find out about you if they want to be able to work with you, if they’re really resonated with what you’ve talked about today?
[00:25:52] Definitely. You can go to my website at Précis Temple of Light Dotcom, please. Just a little white dot com. And there you’ll be able to get a free ebook for me. And once you sign up, you can find out all about my free master class on how to survive a dark night of the soul. And yeah, you can find out more about me. There is Temple of Light dot com.
[00:26:13] That’s awesome. OK, but I’m going to ask you one other thing. So how did you come up with that lovely name?
[00:26:20] Well, when I left so I do a lot of meditation and I do a lot of visioning and I do a lot of work to clear myself so I can hear what the Divine is wanting me to do as a physical form on this planet. And we’re all here on a mission, purpose and destiny. So I want to know that I’m always listening every day. What is it that I am asked to do and I’m asked to do is create a physical temple to serve women leaving abusive situations and reopened the warrior school for children within it so that we can serve the children and women.
[00:26:56] Oh, I love it. I love that name because. Because it was the night when I first seen it, I was like, oh, that is so lovely. I just it’s it’s unique and descriptive. And I really I love to connect with people who are bringing light into the world. And you are clearly one of those priestesses. So there you go. Well, just just you’ve claimed that I will just acknowledge it.
[00:27:29] So, yeah.
[00:27:33] Well, before we close out, is there anything else that we haven’t really touched on that you’d like to be able to share with our audience today?
[00:27:43] Yeah, you know, I think we we covered everything that I think the audience can benefit from. What I want to tell people about the master class, how to survive a dark night of the soul and why it’s so important, even if it’s not for you, the listener. There’s somebody that. No, because after going through 20, 20, just because we’re in twenty twenty one doesn’t mean magically everything is poof. We would like it to. But how do we transition transform into transmutes all of that darkness that got kicked up basically like dust into our lives. We all had to go through a lot of loss, a lot of despair and struggle. And what that happens is I’m telling you now that I’ve come to the other side of the dark tunnel, is that that is actually good. When we kick up all the dust, we can actually sweep it away. We are detoxing as a human race. And so this masterclass is designed to help people get their bearings in a world that’s breaking down so that we can have new sprouts of growth come out. We are all here to remember what our sprout is as a contribution to this planet and the human race. And so this masterclasses tree is going to help you understand that.
[00:29:03] All right. Well, I will make sure to have the your website in the show notes so that people will be able to go there and sign up for their class because it sounds awesome. And I recommend everybody check it out. And I really appreciate you being with us today and sharing your light with the world. So I appreciate the work that you’re doing. And I’m just very grateful to have met you.
[00:29:30] You too. Thank you. Glorious and such a pleasure to be here. I’m grateful for you to know.
[00:29:35] Thank you. And thank all of you listeners out there as well. I really do appreciate you. And I just want to put in a quick plug also that my new book is available now on Amazon. So it is the same name as the podcast Live Love Engaged. So I hope you will check it out. You can actually go to live, love, engage book dot com, and that will take you directly to where you can order or copy yourself. And until next time, as always, I encourage you to go out and live fully loved deeply and engage authentically.
[00:30:19] Did you know that a majority of entrepreneurs tend to discount the importance of their work and a good number feel their success is simply due to luck? I know from personal experience that self-doubt can keep you from having the kind of life and business you desire. That’s why I’ve created a free guide called Uniquely You how to move from self-doubt to self-love in four simple steps to claim your free guide. Go to live, love, engage dot gift. That’s live love. Engage dot g-i-f-t