Preparing for Marriage with Shradha WTB

Our guest today, Shradha WTB (Witness the Breakthrough), is joining us all the way from India. Shradha is an accomplished relationship coach who has found success using her self-designed faith system to strengthen relationships in the corporate and personal world. We’re going to hear about the wedding process and the unique challenges that 2020 posed for couples all around the world.

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On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:

• How Shradha is helping her clients navigate marriage in a pandemic.
• The surge of many couples being forced into long-distance relationships.
• The influence the parents have on the decision to get married, now and in general.
• What the research says about weddings when the parents are very involved.
• The main obstacles that engaged couples have to overcome.
• Why couples need to have a coach to prepare them for marriage.
• How this coaching can be the foundation for supporting your life outside of marriage.
• Why the actual location of the couple being coached doesn’t matter.
• The advice that Shradha would give her clients now on getting married during this time.
• Shradha’s advice for how family members can support the bride and groom.
• Why it’s important to enjoy weddings for what they are right now.

Connect with Shradha

Shradha’s Website: www.weddingshakti.com

Shradha’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shradhawtb/

TRANSCRIPT

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TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:02] Welcome to Live Love Engage the podcast where we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective of how to create a life and business with more impact, influence and income.

[00:00:16] I’m your host, Gloria Grace Rand, the insightful copywriter and founder of The Love Connection. My mission is to help you stop doubting yourself so you can live fully, love deeply and engage authentically.

[00:00:35] Now must stay and welcome to Live, Love, Engage, I am Gloria Grace friend, and I am delighted to be with you today. We’re going to be talking about something a little bit different on the show. We haven’t really well, I think once before we touched about marriage. But today we’re going to be talking about actually before you how you get there is the wedding process and some unique challenges that the year twenty twenty has posed for couples all around the world.

[00:01:08] And I am so pleased to have someone from the other side of the world on the program today, someone I met at a mastermind online session a few weeks ago. Her name is Strada and she is coming to us all the way from India. So welcome to Live Love and Gaige.

[00:01:27] Thank you very much, Gloria. And I am humbled and honored to be on your show.

[00:01:35] Well, we are glad to have you.

[00:01:36] And let me tell you a little bit about Shradha, because she is an expert in weddings. She’s actually an accomplished relationship coach and who has had success in using herself designed faith system to strengthen relationships within the corporate and personal world. And she’s also an international public speaker who has been trained, mentored and certified by Les Brown, who was one of the most well-known and influential motivational speakers in the world. I have seen some of his talks and he’s amazing. And she’s also the author of an Amazon best selling book called Witness the Breakthrough. And through that, and for those of you watching on YouTube, you can see she’s holding up the book right now. Those are you listening. You will be able to see that. But she has been coined of the esteemed wedding Shakti, after using her relationship, strengthening skills to help anxiety filled couples navigate the stressful journey of the path to marriage. And as someone who has been married over 30 years now, I do remember, though, it was a bit stressful getting that process.

[00:02:49] And I was telling I was sharing with Qadoura shot up there. See, I’m messing up your name, Shraddha. I apologize before we got started that I actually had two of my nephews this year had planned to be married.

[00:03:07] One was getting married in June and they wound up postponing the ceremony until next year. And then my other nephew actually did go through with the ceremony a couple of weeks ago in Texas. However, we weren’t able to fly out there. My husband didn’t want to fly to Texas from Florida. So instead they just had it socially distanced in the church for just the immediate family members and then they were able to live stream it. So we were able to watch the ceremony, which was nice. But this has been a crazy year, right? Shraddha So how are how are you helping maybe even some of your your clients deal with the craziness of trying to get married during a pandemic?

[00:03:55] That’s a brilliant question, because most couples are coming to me confused about it. This is the right time to marry you. And on and on I ask them is how confident are you about saying yes to each other? If you are confident about each other, about the way you feel for each other, then how important to the next question is, how important is it for you to tie the knot or to walk the aisle in India? Hindu religion, we tie the knot and otherwise we walk the aisle and everyone has their own procedure for doing it alone. So.

[00:04:33] Step by step, we walk through the journey of the importance and self, the fact that the togetherness needs to be intact because that is being most hit with the pandemic is straining the relationship. People are being forced into a long distance, especially for those who are in arranged marriages and for those who are living together. Yet their relationships are being strained because the girl is getting pregnant. I have I have had two of these girls who have reached out to me and said that they had to abort the child because they could not get married. So it is not easy and all that fun. There’s a lot of complicated when you go into the layers of understanding why this is so difficult for the engaged couples or for those who are looking to even commit. It’s a real struggle for them.

[00:05:38] And I hope to implant courage to take that decision and to take that leap to just be together in this face and walk through with confidence of saying yes. With self awareness and when that creeps and then no pandemic or any coronavirus can actually hit you and. You know, sort of impact such a powerful team as a rating wall.

[00:06:13] Yeah, absolutely. Do I think it’s good that you’re able to help couples and I think it is important for them to really see that, to be able to tell for themselves, you know, how how committed are they? No. One, to being able to you know, you’re essentially saying, I want to spend the rest of my life with this person. But I wonder, it is some of what has been playing in has maybe or or maybe or maybe not. How much impact is maybe the parents, you know, have to do with what? The decision what are you finding in that? Even even in normal times maybe.

[00:06:52] Very good question, because Greece, when couples come to meet, they are not discussing their mind, their talks with debate, and they build an argument if they do that, I mean, they did an argument with their and so they’re not discussing their issues or their thoughts with their parents. They’re not discussing it with their friends because of the fear of being judged and not discussing it with their partners because of the trust issues between them.

[00:07:22] So when you ask me, well, parents, they are playing a very important role in the pandemic. Is that or not? Parents have yet to experience what they have in mind and they want to do it to the children. And the research says that most weddings where parents are involved and they are trying to sort of put their aspirations, their own desires of having such a wedding for their child is actually that which they could not do for their own. And all of that is coming in. And now I ask them, the very important question is who is paying for your wedding ring for your wedding? And of course, we will have to. And that’s it then.

[00:08:14] Yeah, that is a good point, because I know it is if if your your parents are helping out financially, then you do to some extent want to be able to please them and or at least see if you can meet them halfway and honoring some of the requests that they have, like what guest to invite.

[00:08:34] I know. I still remember I remember that having these discussions with my mother in law, she’s like, oh, we have to invite all these people. They’re not going to come, but you still got to invite them anyway. And I was like, OK.

[00:08:46] And that’s what I you know, in my coaching sessions, I also tend to go to the parents to align them with the wedding vision of the children that they are getting married because now everyone could come together and be on the same page.

[00:09:00] Yeah, that’s so important. Absolutely. It definitely needs to be on the same page. What what are some of the top stresses that I think an engaged couple goes through when when they’re looking to plan their wedding, what have you found?

[00:09:23] You’d be surprised. What is the first point of argument after marriage? Do you do that?

[00:09:30] Well, I know I know that money comes in somewhere as one as one of the issues, probably either money or children or some are probably things you would be surprised to decide.

[00:09:41] Is that different point of argument after marriage is actually wedding photographs and getting planning process. It’s all about photography. It’s all about the photographs that I think the public declared the perfect day to pull out dired. Everything should just be perfect. All that the couple is talking about wedding planning experience. And what I do is I transform that wedding planning experience and we could a more romantic and intimate, you know, something that is filled with joy and memories that will last a lifetime, then all of these photos and squibs and indifference of opinions in the process of wedding planning.

[00:10:27] That’s so interesting, because, again, I’m going back to what I went through and. I was in that part of it didn’t really come into mind especially, and this actually sort of annoyed my mother during after right after the ceremony because she’s like, OK, well, you know, what pictures are we getting done? And I was like, oh, my God, I hadn’t even really thought about that. I’m like, OK, I’ve got to make sure I get my mom in a picture with me and and the other family. And I was like, yeah.

[00:11:00] So everyone I think can relate to this, that the wedding photographs are the most important point of discussion.

[00:11:10] Yeah, yeah. And looking back on it now, it’s like that should have been part of it because that is and because I have looked back on those photos over the years and because it is something that you want to be able to hopefully it was a very good day and you want to be able to remember that day years later, right before it was a different story at that time.

[00:11:36] And we were very happy to get a sense, I feel. But now it’s become more of a social media kind of thing. It’s more of the likes of the shows. So when I interview the wedding wedding photographers and when I speak to them and back then they are sharing all the quadroons and all the conversations, all the discussions that are happening while they’re posing.

[00:11:59] And then the couple, they are actually grabbing that. I’m not getting a smiley face. You have to do this angle. So if you are modelling, what will the photographer do?

[00:12:10] Yeah, that’s true. Goodness gracious.

[00:12:16] I want to ask you about this, because it is interesting that, well, actually got two ideas in my head, so let me deal with the first one first. Why do you feel that it’s advantageous for couples to actually have have a coach, have someone like you to be able to help them out as opposed to perhaps maybe just going through a different or a fall for me? I grew up and I got married in the Catholic Church and we had to attend like a marriage encounter weekend type of thing did to prepare us. But but I could I have a feeling that I think maybe seeing actual talking with someone else about the different things like saying you should plan ahead for pictures, might have been might have been helpful for me. So what else what are some of the benefits that you offer? A couple.

[00:13:17] There are so many grief. The first thing that I would want to mention to them is that what should you be doing in the first week of marriage and all those things? Those conversations are important now when you lay the foundation. When we are seeking the counsel of consultants, attorneys, lawyers, experts in various fields to ensure success, then why not seek advice in such media decisions such as marriage and won’t be known? I just wrote an article the other day that every 13 seconds there is a divorce happening in America every 15 seconds, which means that in the two minutes that one is taking a very long time divorce. Is that taking place?

[00:14:07] Wow, that’s crazy. That’s really sad.

[00:14:12] And so that is why we’re coaching, because my model, what I teach is actually going to say yes eight times. Yes. And let’s have those conversations now. So now you are able to overcome the decision. Fatigue, which can lead to a battle distresses people. Crowd anxiety. If you are having those things, those palpitations, those jittery feelings, let’s talk about let’s have that conversation, how to get along with your in-laws, how to welcome a new family. Let’s talk about it, maybe you’re not comfortable with me, which people feel because we are raised, that we should not be talking about money, whereas like you said, that’s also a very major point of argument. So like this, the list is endless. It’s just about having that support. And also earlier we could get along, but now Nido is willing to give up. They all have their own mind set now, and the Internet has actually given us this, it’s been it’s been a blessing to to give you that self-reliance of surviving without anyone. Now, because you have other ways of interacting and finding that sort of escape from the relationship. So now you do not want to be with each other just because you have to be with each other. But then later on, they want the relationship back. And that’s the glue that keeps going on and on and on. But if you are really one of those who loves your partner, who loves your feel, and see if you can see and want to work on staying together because relationship requires work. Right. And then why not start right at the very foundation? And that’s why we’re encouraging, because when I became a coach, Chris, I had this option of just becoming a relationship coach. But I chose this niche because I knew that this is where the foundation could be laid. When I began to coach CEOs and employees of Fortune 500 companies, I was actually coaching the better halves because the whole business was not their mindset about their work, but it was about what was happening back at home.

[00:16:42] So let’s start now in the foundation and build from here.

[00:16:47] Absolutely. Because now, granted today things are a bit different and a lot of couples wind up actually living together before they’re officially married. And yet I still think the whole. Things still change a little bit. It’s like once you are still officially married, because now you have made a commitment to be with someone for life and. So now you need to be able to realize that that’s going to just change your mindset a little bit, and if you’re not prepared for that, when you when you start really living together after the ceremony, you could have some issues where you’re going to have some problems. So I think it is definitely wise to be able to seek out someone like you for some advice and maybe even what do you do for, like, you know, the first time you disagree on something?

[00:17:43] You just put up a very nice topic, Grace, because when you see about living as this guy reached out to me from visiting from Europe, from the UK, and she was in a living for 11 years and she was facing commitment phobia. And for the last year when she reached out to me, her boyfriend was, you know, wanting a breakup and she was really feeling very low. So her friend recommended to me. And when she came to me, she wanted to go back to England and sort of be confident to accept whether her boyfriend breaks up or doesn’t because she was running away from the fact cycling somewhere in the forest in a different country. Right. But then after the coaching session, she quit in a few weeks. She told me that her boyfriend was giving her hints to come back. Let’s now solidify the relationship. So at times when you’re in a relationship and you are unable to overcome your past relationship, that’s when the commitment phobia creeps in. And you are in that dilemma of whether you should say yes or no. And it gives you that ability to just leave. And then the heartbreak is something that you cannot handle.

[00:19:05] Absolutely. So one thing I know, I know what I wanted to ask you, you were so. Have you or I guess what?

[00:19:18] What’s different besides or is there are there any differences, let’s say, in you working with couples who are in India where you live, as opposed to working with someone in in the U.K. like you did? Have you found are there are there specific differences and or are there universal things that come up no matter where anyone looks when it comes to planning a wedding question?

[00:19:47] Because the language of love is the same. And I’m serving over thirty five countries that to date couples, brides and grooms all around. And all I used to do is just talk about the language of love.

[00:20:03] And that is the same. So it doesn’t matter eventually if you really feel for your partner. Then, Dennis, to get in this, and if you don’t feel for your partner, then I feel self awareness type of pain because every human seeks love eventually. So bring them down. And why they are not going to help them acknowledge that is what I do.

[00:20:31] Very good. That’s awesome. What would you face?

[00:20:36] Would you have four couples right now? It may be that are trying to decide whether or not they and I know we talked about this a little bit at the beginning, but but again, dealing with the pandemic as a recording. This is the end of October and and cases are kind of rising again as we’re moving into the winter. So what and what advice would you have right now for couples who are trying to decide should we? Let’s say they were planning originally a year ago thinking that they were going to get married this winter and now they’re thinking, well, maybe we should just postpone it until things calm down a little bit or just continue on. What what are you what are you talking with your clients about, Gloria?

[00:21:28] The week this has literally shut down the wedding industry. Now, whatever is going to come back is going to be totally new. Weddings will not be the same again. So the sooner we accept that, the better for us. Now, even this is going to be a memory. So if you marry in this time, also create that memory, do it with self-awareness, do it knowingly, and you want to celebrate. You can celebrate it on your first anniversary. You can celebrate your first child. You can celebrate your success story together. You can go on a holiday trip. In any case, even though you’re holding on onto it, is what I tell couples that come to me. It’s all about enjoying this moment myself on this moment and a pandemic has taught us. The shortness of life and the value of it and the value of the relationships. So why miss out on this very moment? That’s right. The most of that are not employed a candlelight dinner to date.

[00:22:31] And you can always have another party later, which is what my nephew is planning is very welcome with.

[00:22:40] I will see that lots of couples would celebrate in different ways. And then also you will have that formal. You will see, oh, I didn’t do this, so now I can do that. So formal is something that you will have to put aside and just enjoy it enough.

[00:22:54] Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Because the most important thing is, really is do you love the person that you’re marrying? Because that’s that’s ultimately you need to be pleasing each other and not worrying so much about. It’s nice to include the family, but ultimately that person is when you’re going to be living with and that’s who you need to think about them first.

[00:23:17] In fact, before the pandemic, when couples would come to me and I would ask them, now that you are especially the newlyweds, now that you are coming to me, what happened to all those people who got together for your wedding? Where are they now, Dahlby? You. Why aren’t they everyone has just left you alone to bang our heads together and coming to me. So if you are still waiting to sort of have them around you and strain the relationship and I’m going your total decision.

[00:23:50] That’s true.

[00:23:51] Good, good advice, yeah, absolutely. Let’s see. Is there anything else, any other advice that you have for, let’s say, for family members who really to be able to encourage them to support a bride and groom, especially during this time?

[00:24:15] The only thing that I would tell the parents and the family of the children who are in this situation is that support them again, bringing the lawsuit that is the love and let them have their way when so much is conspiring against them, applaud them and let them be on their own and decide for themselves. So many couples reach out to me. They say we are ready for an intimate wedding with the bad intestinal because they have a huge guest list that they need to entertain. So I would only say that Nikolov come in and let them be because already they are facing a lot. So again, it’s up to them. I mean, I have no one to tell the parents, don’t be, because they didn’t have their own point of discussion. They are like or we have waited all our lives and we only have this one child and I should we. But then who is it been going to see tomorrow when such things are happening? You want to live every moment, don’t you?

[00:25:15] Absolutely. Because you never know what’s going to happen. So it’s so important to live in the now, right now and pay attention to how you’re feeling and to be able to respect the other person.

[00:25:30] And that’s the important thing, I think, with joy, the joy and the happiness of the child and the family and the ambiance, whatever you have, because everything is just around, you know, you’re going to step out of your house.

[00:25:48] Yeah, absolutely. So whatever you can do to minimize the stress and just to really, as you say, to just just love them and support them is so important. That’s that’s all we can do right now because they’re whether or not there will be time to do something else later. We’ll just see. But but for now is. Yeah, I think that’s really great. If so, you work in. Thirty five different countries are having clients. That’s that’s amazing.

[00:26:20] And counting. I just added to someone from Ireland reached out to me, someone from Cofferati start doing so it’s just continuous. Last time I counted was thirty five.

[00:26:29] Wow. That’s awesome. So. If someone wants to be able to reach out to you for some advice, what is the best way for people to contact you?

[00:26:41] To my social media, henders by the same name Qadar WTVG, S.H. are a DHP WTVG and by website wedding, the dot com bubble and G. S h e gayety dot com.

[00:27:00] All right. Well, I will definitely make sure they have all that information in the show notes. So people are will be able to find out if you’re listening right now where you can get to write down that information. Don’t worry about you’ll find it later. And you can go to live, love, engage podcasts, dot com. And that’s where you’ll find this episode and all of our previous ones. And I think this has been very helpful. Part of what? Well, my the mission of this program is really to help people, to live fully, to love deeply and engage authentically. And weddings are big parties. And I mean, that is how that’s how people start really living their lives and being able to come together in a spirit of love and enjoy. And so if you can help people enter into that state in a way that is less stressful and and to focus more on the joy of what they’re doing, I think is tremendous. So I’m glad that you are out there helping people in that endeavor because, yeah, we like to have more people stay married than get divorced, so.

[00:28:13] Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you very much for having me on the show.

[00:28:18] I appreciate having you here and appreciate everyone who is watching and listening. And up until next time, I do encourage you all to go out and live fully, love deeply and engage authentically.

[00:28:35] One more thing before you go. As a valued listener of the Live Love Engage podcast, I want to help you shine your light in the world, not only while you’re listening to the show, but all day, every day of the week.

[00:28:49] That’s why I created the word Love Engage Spiritual Awakening Community on Facebook. It’s a place for you to gather with other business professionals and entrepreneurs who are committed to living the life of their dreams. If you want to be a part of this community and receive free trainings for me, go to live, love, engage dotcom and request to join. That’s L-I-V-E-L-O-V-E-E-N-G-A-G-E DOT COM.